|
|
|
|
|
| | Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.Page 2 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | I see this whole thing a little differently.
If you were to go out into the world and meet some guy at a public spot, how much interaction would you need before you got his number? Even in person people can (and often do) put up some kind of a front. IRL, you have already had your first "meet," and after maybe 20-30 minutes of conversation, you've already exchanged numbers. Some guys like to get the ball rolling sooner than later when it comes to the whole online thing. I know that personally, I will probably lose interest in someone if we haven't met within a week of our first contact.
You are probably just as likely to meet some creep at a public spot as you are on a dating site. And on a dating site, people have significantly more time to actually think about what they say in their emails and profiles, so it's much easier to hide the sort of "dark" side to them. | |
|
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 3/10/2012 9:07:01 AM | | I've been around the block with this online dating thing & figured out a thing or two. I don't waste time pursuing insecure women. Pointing fingers at guys like me to justify your insecurities it is so old too. It only enhances my belief that your not serious about meeting & or dating, which is my objective. That some women would rather spend time chatting with me online or on the phone & not meet up for coffee is odd. What are you hiding if not your insecurities? Granted I'd never ask a woman to cancel an appointment, play hooky from work or something, that was just a rude jerk, but do ask to meet up for lunch or something though & if shot down with some BS excuse, wish them luck & move on. | |
|
| |
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 3/10/2012 2:56:26 PM | | I have to love the ones who claim they are from a town near you, but when asked for a detail about the town, it's..."I've only been here for 9 months, I don't know where that is. The town is about 250 people and it's the main business in the town. They usually are the ones demanding phone numbers. | |
|
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 3/10/2012 5:35:13 PM | | Yes I know what your saying.....I had one guy invite me over. He lived about an hour away. I ask him if he thought it was to far away....he replyed Nah.... then ask me over. Big huge flag......and stupid me went....because I did want to meet him, and I didnt want him coming to my house. Meet stupid me!!!! Never again. | |
|
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 3/10/2012 5:46:53 PM | Msg 3 "You may be showing up in their searches as a “new user” because you’re a recent sign-up. They’ll stop circling after a while. Busy tonight? Call me!"
Truth... and ROFL!
Sorry you've had a bad run OP but you'll soon learn to weed. The block button works for those truly obnoxious and rude... but at the same time meeting quickly is the way to go in knowing how real the person you are talking to is... and where the really important things are flushed out...
Then you can decide if you want to invest more time otherwise. Best wishes! | |
|
| |
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 4/20/2012 12:08:11 PM | It seems to happen when a person is new. I had a profile here before and got absolutely bombarded with messages. It settled within a week or two. Decided it wasn't for me after a few months and deleted the profile.
When I put this profile up, in the first few days again I was drowned with messages. In fact, one particular gent bombarded me with about 6 messages in the space of a half hour. I hadn't even finished putting up my full profile. He told me I was beautiful before I'd even put up photos, and then commented each time I added a new picture, all without a single response from me. He also sent me numerous chat requests - I ended up disabling the chat feature because he did my nut in. Then I figured out how to block him!
This site attracts all manner of people. One of the downsides of having so many features free of charge, I suppose. I have come to the conclusion that the oddballs have such bad luck with meeting people that they constantly click the 'new users' button and as soon as they see fresh meat, they want to snap them up before someone else does. Some people who are perfectly normal also don't come across well in messages so want to meet in person as soon as possible.
I've got it noted in my profile that I like to take my time getting to know a perso before I will exchange personal details or arrange a meet, so if they want to meet within a couple of messages, they get completely and utterly ignored. They way I see it is either they haven't bothered to read my profile which shows they don't really care who they meet as long as it's someone or alternatively that they have read it and have disregarded it. If they have no respect for such a simple thing then it's an indicator to me of how they would respect me in general, so they get ignored. If they are really persistent I tell them straight to bog off, or I block them.
That said, I did give my phone number and arrange to meet one person in a matter of days but we had just hit it off really well. I did wonder whether I'd done the right thing and panicked a little before the meet up, but he turned out to be perfectly nice - and normal! It didn't go anything beyond a first meeting but the experience taught me that there is a lot to be said for our own instincts. I was happy to meet him (and I'm glad I did, as it was a nice introduction to online dating meeting a half decent person), but others I'm wary of. That in my opinion is a good thing. If your instincts are telling you no, just go with them. | |
|
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 4/20/2012 12:47:19 PM | I have had two guys be really mean, cuss me out and insult me after two messages. You know it is stupid to even feel anything about it, but it still makes you kind of feel bad (briefly).
It was like saying hi to someone in the grocery store a couple of time, then one time you don't see them or say hello and they grab your arm and yell, "I will not be IGNORED." Get a life creeps and stop being mean to people.
One guy was going on and on about how nobody on this site is real because they stop talking to you. No, they stop talking to you because you are a CREEP. block | |
|
| |
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 4/20/2012 4:58:25 PM | When I first joined the first few messages I received almost had me heading for the hills, I had a guy offering to be my personal slave, seriously, he messaged and asked could he come to my home, clean my house, my garage etc. anything i cared to ask him to clean, then I had a message from a guy asking me would I Pee on him and flactulate in his face, and another who asked would I "karate kick" him in the groin? that was all in the first week! Luckily I'm thick skinned and just quickly became very good friends with the delete button, but my initial thought was, what the feck! this place is full of nutters! having been on here longer I'm assuming these are just the sick vultures who hang around for "newbies" looking to shock them or maybe they get a kick out of any reactions they get.
I also found that the men are really really pushy and try to be aggressive when you are new, it's almost as if they are trying to take advantage of you before you have actually had the chance to "learn the ropes" on here, as it were, and become wise to the many bulls*it artists/players around. | |
|
| |
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 4/20/2012 5:44:51 PM | one story off the top of my mind i had a guy on here who messaged me an said hey give me your address i want to take you out for icecream..i was like WTF??? first off how lame is that really a whole 30 seconds ive known you i thought maybe he was tryna be funny..
so i said uhh is that your pick up line? he said no whats your address i would like to take you out i said ok first off you cant be serious you think a woman is just going to randomly give you her address an then who the hell goes out for ice cream after knowing somebody a meer 3minutes i said if your actually serious about wanting to chat an talk
lets exchange numbers guess what i never heard back from him till count em 2weeks later he emails an says hey im tryna f uck you agian i was like is this dude serious? sadly ya he was serious..i said o no sir you can go back to where you came from an continue f cuking the women you are already with..an that was that.. | |
|
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 4/20/2012 9:19:57 PM | | I was here a few years ago and basically got guys wanting sex. Now I'm back with very non provocative pics yet still the same. I just don't seem to attract anyone serious. I was on here like a year and left 3 years ago. Met 2 guys at a POF party one I went out a few times with. And other Guy kept standing me up and calls me, abt every 6 mo and promises he wont stand me up but I wouldn't believe him ever. I'm back and hoped the guys had improved but still just wanting sex. | |
|
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 4/20/2012 10:20:20 PM | First off, get of POF. This place is atcrummy place to meet men.....my profile is up only for these forums. This is not a good dating site. Keep your eyes open in "real life'.
That said, you have every right, as a woman, to take it at a pace that is comfortable for you. I've had men want me to call me immediately griping they dont want "endless e-mail exchanges". Well, I happen to enjoy some e-mail exchanges a bit. It gives me an idea of how on the ball the guy is, how receptive. I had one guy who would not talk to be again after I said I wasn't ready to immediately call him. Every woman has her own safety/comfort zone. Create and stick to your boundaries. You weed them out that way.
YOU are in charge of how you respond. Don't let someone dictate the rules. Men need to understand we are NOT built like them. Many of us are hesitant, and want to get to know someone first. I suppose this is the "endless e-mails" that have been referred to by some guys. They are desperate to get laid...only after one thing, and will not expend any more energy than necessary to get what they want.
I've tried it all kinds of ways..one guy I met the same day ended up being a freak, and completely embarrassed me in a restaurant. But others I have waited a bit. met up, and still a dud.
Online dating hasn't panned out for me personally, but I enjoy these forums. We are all going thru alot of the same things...the name calling, the bitterness, the pushiness.
Take control and delete/block. | |
|
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 4/21/2012 4:59:58 AM |
I just posted a profile and am alarmed at how 90% of the respondents have been extremely demanding and aggressive regarding meeting (instantly, within minutes of emailing) and wanting phone numbers. Bombarding me with emails until I block them. One man seemed normal and after a nice phone conversation, started to ask what I was doing the next day. When I told him I had reservations for an important conference he tried to get me to cancel etc. to meet him. Of course I didn't and last night, got a terse message wishing me the best in my search.
One time is funny, but when it is nearly everyone, it indicates a frightening trend.
Quesion: I don't want to engage at all with these delusional uber controllers who think one email gives them the right to rage if they don't get a date with seconds or hours. Is it a scam? Some men tell me where they work, they sound legit yet it is back to instant bullying to get what they want. Not even a sex discussion, it is power and control.
I don't want to take my profile down in order to avoid these really ill men, but how to avoid them, not even have to waste one literally second on them. They will never succeed, but I am done wasting time on their illness. And why are there so very many?
Wondering how others deal with these online bullies?
Just create a profile as a big hairy gay man and start harassing him and see how he likes it!
Start with "You can call me Daddy." | |
|
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 4/21/2012 5:39:27 AM | You're new. It happens to everybody who is new. I know that because I have come and gone many times over the years. So, these days, when I sign up, I just expect the first week will be full of them.
Essentially, they're guys, in my opinion, who are looking for an easy lay. In addition, this has become so easy these days, that they know it's just a matter of numbers. If they hit on ten people in a day, two or three (or however many) will say yes. If nobody said yes, they wouldn't continue to do it.
In any event, it will pass. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 4/21/2012 7:56:30 AM | | It's funny how people are willing to meet and give out specific details of their life on short notice to strangers when job hunting, but when looking for Mr./Miss Perfect, people cower and hide behind their screens and assume everyone on a dating site is a perverted, sex craved axe murderer. | |
|
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 4/21/2012 9:58:53 AM |
How come women don't do this? Seriously. Even getting replies out of most of the women I've tried to meet on this site is a rarity. Just once I'd like a semi-attractive woman from my area to message me on here and want to meet within hours.
Hey, CJC, you'd be surprised how men respond to a woman initiating contact and suggesting an "early" meet. Most cower behind their screens just as often as the women do. I personally have a high comfort level with meeting in real life (of course, in a very public place) and love to meet anyone who doesn't seem obviously sociopathic in my initial exchanges with them. I can tell so much more about a person with a 20 minute coffee or very short lunch than even after several email exchanges, and I prefer to meet early in the "we may be interested in each other" dance. Most men, even if they suggest talking on the phone or imply interest (for dating), also hesitate to meet. Either they are insecure, or they as a gender are growing just as paranoid as the women.
As for the OT, yes there are aggressors (probably, of both genders)... I tend to gently suggest meeting if there's mutual interest, but would never be aggressive. And, truly I've had very few be insistent or aggressive after I've either said "hey, not interested but thanks" or somehow similar. Not everyone on here is whacko! Just listen to your gut, OP. And consider that being on-line for some people is like drinking a little liquid courage. You may be surprised how many of these same fellow might scuttle back behind their dark nooks and crannies if you actually said, "hell yes let's meet." Sometimes, the most aggressive have no b[a]lls in real life. | |
|
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 4/21/2012 10:19:05 AM | I just posted a profile and am alarmed at how 90% of the respondents have been extremely demanding and aggressive regarding meeting (instantly, within minutes of emailing) and wanting phone numbers. Bombarding me with emails until I block them. One man seemed normal and after a nice phone conversation, started to ask what I was doing the next day. When I told him I had reservations for an important conference he tried to get me to cancel etc. to meet him. Of course I didn't and last night, got a terse message wishing me the best in my search.
One time is funny, but when it is nearly everyone, it indicates a frightening trend. There are several threads right now about people pushing for instant meetings, for going on Skype or messenger right away, for telephone numbers or email addresses. In my opinion, anyone who pushes or demands in any way is someone to ignore. If they pester you, block them. Do not allow anyone to pressure you about anythhing.
I don't know why they may be doing it. If it is men, based on what I've read in these forums, I would speculate that they may be looking for quick sexual encounters. It sounds really creepy that a man would try to pressure a woman into meeting with 24 hours of email contact on POF or would pressure for telephone numbers, email addresses or going on Skyp or messenger right away. They must be after something that is not copestetic.
Just once I'd like a semi-attractive woman from my area to message me on here and want to meet within hours. Why do you want to meet within hours? That just sounds odd and desperate. Also, you say you want an 'attractive' woman to email you and want to meet within hours. Seems like you have a fantasy. An attractive woman does not need to run out and meet every man she has just had contact with on a singles site: attractive women can be picky. You have a fantasy that an attractive woman is just going to fall for you immediately and want to run right out and meet you: that's just silly.
You are probably just as likely to meet some creep at a public spot as you are on a dating site I disagree. Being able to suss out who is a creep and who isn't is a lot easier in RL than on line. Therefore, it is far more often the case that the men one meets online are creeps that you haven't yet been able to ascertain as such. | |
|
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 4/22/2012 8:51:20 AM | Hey Shaggy458, I got your ball bustin b!tch right here! lol. Just kidding!!!!
Your post had me laughing. ha ha.
You shouldn't give ideas, I think I just might do that one!!
Bonnie my Bonnie lies over the sea
If I knew the rest of the song I would sing it to thee
Don't tease me like that! It makes me want to move to England!
I double dog dare you to do that one ; )
PS: I would totally ride in your b!tch seat! | |
|
| Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 4/22/2012 9:19:04 AM | The reaction when you couldn't meet was a bad thing. They were jerks. But meeting asap pretty important on sites like this.
Pof was made to make money. The people who made this site couldn't care less is you spent your entire life single.
The more you talk here, the less there is to talk about when you meet... Cuz them you have the realization that you don't actually know that other person. Trying to meet fast is a good thing, getting mad when the other person can't is different.
Remember, the point of emailing and your profile is to fail, not to meet the right person. It's a business. | |
|
|
|
|
Page
2
of
6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
|
|
Home
login 
