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 pauline2012
Joined: 11/28/2011
Msg: 51
Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I actually didn't say that it's guys writing shit that causes them not to get a response, my point is that a lot of men on here seem to think that women get inundated with messages on a daily basis. When I signed back on here after about a years break I was getting around 4-5 messages a day but it tailed off and I expected it to, new people join here all the time.

It's not just my experience, there are more women than me who don't get sackloads of mail but every guy seems to know at least one woman on here who gets inundated with mail, but why base your view on that one person?

There are hundreds of other women whose experiences won't be like that. I've no problem writing the messages if you want me to do that, I'll even clean up my usual do you support Motherwell? No, fancy a shag anyway oneliners (for the hard of humour on here that's a joke btw).
 Lusipher
Joined: 9/7/2010
Msg: 52
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Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 5:15:17 AM
I should probably be annoyed that I have so little empathy for other people... but it's not going to change anytime soon and for the most part, I tend to think that people - on here and in real life - need to man the fvck up, rather than go down the path of "woe is me"

I am well aware that it's a trait that will play a big part in the many people not warming to me, but I am fine with that... especially as the alternative is false sympathy.
 Jacknher
Joined: 11/23/2011
Msg: 53
Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 5:22:51 AM
And just to make a liar of myself I get 2 messages within ten minutes...both from guys just a couple of years younger than me.

And just looked out the window but no flying pigs or tap dancing dogs to be seen
 ariesagain
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 54
Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 5:28:31 AM
Msg 49.

I am nodding in agreement so much, my head is in danger of falling off.
 ControlledFolly
Joined: 2/17/2011
Msg: 55
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Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 5:35:26 AM
Going back to a previous discussion, location was mentioned as a big factor, and you and i Pauline seem to be in a similar boat here. I spent 6 months in Portsmouth last year, and had more dates in a month than i have had here at home in 6 months.

So i know my profile isnt complete junk, just not everyones cup of tea, i know my messages do work so its certainly more complicated than a blanket statement of women are (insert derogatory term here).

I know im not Brad pitt, but my life experience tells me that i am like marmite, women either really fancy me or not at all. I guess the mistakes start when comparing POF to real life> they are completly different animals and the onus is on me to be more proactive in one than the other.

Trouble is we are going around in circles, no one is actually wrong on this, and it shouldnt be a gender victimisation competition on who is worse off. Nothing wrong with a good moan about it all, as it does get you down to the point where you just give up.

Lusipher;s philosphy is the best one, and it took me a while to get there too, but now i am i can see it all for what it is. A game where the rules are made up as we go along. My heart requires more than a game so, im choosing not to play.

Doesnt mean i am giving up on women, i like having a woman in my life, its not a need its a preference. I am becoming aware that bachelorhood is habit forming.

Edited to add: Swanspirit, noticed your reply after i posted this ... i agree with you its most definitely a factor.
 Mephistone
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 56
Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 5:49:02 AM
Right well here's scary. Just sent 5, got 3 replied to already with tell me more.

Amazing what a picture of a bloke in Dessies will do a woman. What I should really write is "Tell me more? Did you even bother reading my profile, or are you just looking at the warry pic that's 10 years old?"

UK Plymouth, I'm in utter, total agreement. I want someone who actually reads the profile, finds commonality and writes back.
 pauline2012
Joined: 11/28/2011
Msg: 57
Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 5:49:37 AM
Indeed. the available talent to choose from in any particular area will make a huge difference.

I seem to attract messages from people who have been in recent long term relationships and the words that strike fear are looking for a genuine woman only. I got a message from a guy on here one day and within 3 messages he had asked me for dinner that night, offered to pay and was going to come and collect me from my house and take me to dinner.

Fine, but I didn't know him from Adam and the issue is, when you get messages like that plus read someone's profile you get a sense that some folk really are lonely and in their haste to partner up just pick random people out and so on.

I had another message from a guy who picked me up on the fact that I said I wasn't romantic and messaged me saying that he loved nothing better than to write partners romantic letters and call them darling, probably while walking down Rutherglen Main St in the pissing rain.

What I mean is, there are people who message you and you know very soon into the conversation that it's not you they want, they just want a new relationship and you just happen to tick a few boxes.

And if people did take a step back and realise that it's not the worst thing on earth to be single and just went with the flow a bit they might actually get on a bit better.
 ControlledFolly
Joined: 2/17/2011
Msg: 58
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Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 6:01:32 AM

Amazing what a picture of a bloke in Dessies will do a woman. What I should really write is "Tell me more? Did you even bother reading my profile, or are you just looking at the warry pic that's 10 years old?".


Wait surely your not suggesting a level of shallowness?

Damn, my ex burnt all my photos, or would use the one from after OP TELIC, where in No1's im getting a gong from someone quite notable in london.....

But thats pulling them in for the wrong reasons as pauline said above, better to leave things as they are now.
 Mephistone
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 59
Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 7:06:33 AM
Now 4 out of 6 and pic changed as I think I made our point Plymouth :)

So the moral is, the ladies doth protest too much when they say they look at the whole profile , really honestly we do.
 SwanSpirit
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 60
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Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 7:11:23 AM
Well I am waiting for Pauline to post her pics of stockings and thighs and see how many messages she gets then! (S'ok P panic not, I am joking). Post a suggestive picture regardless of gender and people won't look at the profile, soldier you knew that photo would cause a stir, that's why you did it young man! I can't complain about people being shallow if I post a photo of me in something I know will get the boys going and then moan that I want somebody to appreciate me for my brain.
 Mephistone
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 61
Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 7:32:20 AM
My Soldiering days are long behind me Swan and yes, it was a big stick to prove a point :)

The point being when women bang on about blokes being shallow, they need to remember that glass houses break easily ;)
 ControlledFolly
Joined: 2/17/2011
Msg: 62
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Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 7:41:11 AM
We all know statistics are a lie, but we can see trends developing, overall the guys generalisations are standing up to closer scrutiny than the female personal experience ones.

Bottom line? makes no fooking difference whatsover, if more of our brothers where more discerning about where they put their****, and more truthful about their intent we wouldn't be in this mess.

To be honest, we all know the uniform does something to trigger them, when i was in uniform it felt as though the cloth was getting the attention and not me, I really dont wish to be a consolation shag which is how it felt. Fine at the time but not good enough anymore.
 pauline2012
Joined: 11/28/2011
Msg: 63
Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 7:41:45 AM

Well I am waiting for Pauline to post her pics of stockings and thighs and see how many messages she gets then! (S'ok P panic not, I am joking).


Get thy sick bags at the ready nation


The point being when women bang on about blokes being shallow, they need to remember that glass houses break easily ;)


Sending a tiny amount of messages out and getting replies just because you have changed your pic doesn't actually mean very much. You would have had to send 2 messages to each person, one from a profile with pic A on it and one with pic B on it to be able to compare. Just because you received messages from more people with a certain pic doesn't mean they wouldn't have replied if you'd sent the message with another pic instead.

Not looking at every pic on your profile before responding to you doesn't mean people are shallow, the main pic in anyone's profile is the one that appears when they send messages out and write on the forums and it's obvious that is the one that gets most attention.

Hopefully you sent the messages to people you'd be happy to have a conversation with anyway, not just as some experiment into the workings of the female mind.
 Jacknher
Joined: 11/23/2011
Msg: 64
Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 7:51:06 AM
^^^^^
@ THC
Ahh but did you just message 5 women who were online an hour or so ago?

5 women maybe stuck at home a Monday afternoon and bored senseless between episodes of Jeremy Kyle lol ?

Just asking and saying you might not get as much luck if you used that picture on the ones who have ignored you before. :)
 Mephistone
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 65
Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 7:52:16 AM
Nope, it was definitely an experiment into the workings of the female mind, once they arrive on PoF :)

Good point about the methodology to adopt though. I was just a tad surprised that one photo, that I don't regard as representative of me any more, should provoke that much reaction!

Jacknher , you make a very very good point. I take some consolation the pic was enough to pull them away from the latest mouthbreathing shennanigans on JK.

I think Plymouth sums it up very well in his closing paragraph.
 Lusipher
Joined: 9/7/2010
Msg: 66
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Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 7:54:09 AM
If I found myself conducting experiments on here, to try and prove a point - and let's face it, it'd be an empty point unless it was carried out upon all women - then that would definitely tell me that I'm taking it all a bit too seriously.

In any case, what is so bad about someone messaging you just because they find you attractive?

Personally, I would be a bit chuffed about that and I hope one of my friends would give me a slap if i ever complained about it

If I liked how they looked too, then I would almost definitely message them back.

I would have to be tapped in the head, to whinge about people liking how I look.
 SwanSpirit
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 67
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Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 8:11:48 AM
Get thy sick bags at the ready nation


'Borrow' a pic of t'internet then when they all chuck up you don't need to take it too personally.

JK? Ffs! Some of us are (supposed to be) doing the accounts! There ya go ... what annoys me about myself is how much I hate numbers.
 ControlledFolly
Joined: 2/17/2011
Msg: 68
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Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 8:22:14 AM

Get thy sick bags at the ready nation


Pauline, this self depreciation doesnt suit you, as i consider myself an online acquaintance and forum friend type thing you are far from a munter. just a saying.

And if i thought you were fishing for compliments i wouldnt have posted this.
 pauline2012
Joined: 11/28/2011
Msg: 69
Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 8:25:59 AM

Pauline, this self depreciation doesnt suit you, as i consider myself an online acquaintance and forum friend type thing you are far from a munter. just a saying.


It does, its in the Scots DNA I'm afraid. We have degrees in being "no bad" when someone asks how we are doing.



And if i thought you were fishing for compliments i wouldnt have posted this.


Nah I don't really strike folks as the fishing for compliments type bird I think but ta much for giving me one

(Compliment people, I mean the compliment).
 pauline2012
Joined: 11/28/2011
Msg: 70
Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 9:45:32 AM

Nope, it was definitely an experiment into the workings of the female mind, once they arrive on PoF :)


I agree with Lusipher, what on earth is wrong with looking attractive. Just because someone likes the look of you in a certain uniform (uniforms don't do it for me, but some girls might like it) doesn't mean they wouldn't find you attractive in your other photos.

Also anyone with a brain should be able to realise that a photo is just a snapshot in time. I met someone recently at a fitness confernce who posted on a forum and had met me and her exact words were, Pauline is prettier in real life which as Ive said loads of times on here some people are photogenic and some fall into the category of not.

There's a lot more to who people are than just a certain photo. I am generally instantly attracted to someone or not but on the couple of occasions Ive seen someone's photo and thought, I dunno the more time I spent talking to them I thought yeah, you are attractive, your personality is attractive (not that Im saying he has a face like a bag of spanners) but sometimes people can go from dunno, to hell yeah and there's loads more things that get you from one feeling to another rather than just a look at a photo.

There will be people on here who are incredibly more attractive in real life than their photos show, some will be the same as they look great in a photo. But if I were so shallow that all it took was a nice arse and a certain uniform to make me go I want you, then the next person in another unform showed up and I went, nah I want you.
Id be discounting all these people out there who were in a pic with their jeans and Tshirts on etc.

There are some massive dealbreakers for me where if someone had certain views I'd be like no way but you can't tell that from a photo and if someone looked like gods gift but was a total pain in the bahookie we wouldn't last longer than 2 nanoseconds anyway.

Trust me, I can be as shallow as the next person and see someone and think yeah I'd like to rip your clothes off, but there's surely got to be a bit more substance than that to any kind of relationship.
 ControlledFolly
Joined: 2/17/2011
Msg: 71
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Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 10:03:57 AM
I completely agree about the photogenic thing, i too take a lousy photo, ive heard more than once that i am much better in the flesh than on the photo.

It is the photo that grabs out attention, same as passing someone in the street, it takes that first glance to get attraction, thats a fact right or wrong. So the photogenic will have more opportunities. I accept that, its natural.

Its what we choose to do after that that sets the people with substance apart from the shallow.

i quite like not being very photogenic, as the majority of people i get to meet took the time to read and understand my profile and got to know me. When i see a picture that doesnt immediately grab me, ill pay extra attention to the profile to find a connection in other areas. If there still is nothing then i move on. But if i do find something i resonate with then i will pay the picture much more attention, and usually i find that they are not bad and that i could date them.

But there are a few that at one glance i go oh no, no way i could be with that person, sometimes its looks but other times it vibes. There is no way anything is going to happen so move on.

The first things i look for on a profile that i am on the fence about the picture, is age and and children ( as in wanting). If they want more children, then they could be stunning in in everyway and worship the ground i walk on, but i will move on as we will not get along because of this. Those are the deal breakers for me, so are in fact a huge priority over looks alone.
 Lulubellabella
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 72
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Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/19/2012 11:23:52 AM
errrrrr mods ??? :modhammer:
 lewiz1989
Joined: 1/27/2012
Msg: 73
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Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/21/2012 6:32:44 PM
The thing that annoys me is the fact that I cant put weight on, no matter what i eat I stay the same weight, which is underweight (quite alot) for my height
 pleegeree
Joined: 5/14/2009
Msg: 74
Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/21/2012 6:50:24 PM
I am a different kind, like from a different planet and cannot adapt to the modern and trendy styles of metropolitan dating ...

Photos and looks mean nothing to me.. and empty lines..

I smoke like a chimney and find it impossible to get back to size 10, which is now 2 sizes down..

The only guy I liked recently came to my door ( twice!) and I was rude and didn't even ask for his number but told him I'll see him in the summer.. what a fool ! Its always in my mind that 'a guy like that' cannot like 'girl like me' ..

I'd love to appear more sensitive and more open.. but I bite ...and I am a lost case..
 Cinderfreakinella
Joined: 2/13/2011
Msg: 75
Is there anything about yourself that annoys you?
Posted: 3/22/2012 9:47:31 AM
Jealousy. Just being honest.

I get cross with myself when I start to get that feeling creeping up from my tummy and it starts to distort my thinking.

Fortunately as I have matured I have more of a handle on it and dont let it rise enough to spoil anything.

I have often wondered if it's the reason I haven't managed to have a serious relationship for many years...because when I really like someone I find it sort of stressful as I start to feel vulnerable...as if I have given the other person power over me in as far as my happiness is concerned. I dont like the feeling but crave it at the same time. Weird.

I think that is the main thing I dont like about myself.
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