| | Funniest first meeting/ datePage 5 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | | We meet at a restaurant. He seems like a nice guy and we have good conversation. He is walking me to my car. It is dark and I do not see a flower pot as I'm going around the side of the building. I trip over the pot, fly through the air and land in the bushes face first!! I'm completely covered in mulch!! I'm laughing my ass off thinking about how funny this must have looked to him. He's not laughing! I don't know how he kept from laughing! On my way home I realize my thumb is sprained and two toes are broken. Never heard from him again. | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 7/7/2012 6:02:58 PM | | This was not a first date but had been dating a while...funny now but at the time I was mortified. First time we went to his house as he usually came to mine, we got hot and heavy and his dog jumped up on the couch and had to jump into the actions and started licking my breast. I immediately jumped up and ran to the bathroom then ran out the door! Too funny not to share! :-) | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 7/8/2012 11:23:49 AM | | We met at a bar, he was sposed to be 5ft9 but was more like 5ft2 which was a little dissapointing... anyway after about 15 minutes into the date, he tells me a story of how he stabbed a few people in a scared rage about ten years ago, (apparently it was either do or die) then as we were on our way to the next bar, (my train wasnt for another hour ) it started raining real bad and he lent me his cagoul he had in his bag. It smelt fusty like it had been hiding in a shed for ten years and i about puked. Totally ruined my look as I was in a pretty dress and high heels but he did insist...(i was hoping it was a stab proof cagoul at this point) Anyway he walked me to the train station and asked me if any guy had ever told me i had a big nose, and started laughing. I said no, got on the train pronto and breathed a huge sigh of relief!! Its not your typical funny date, but it was so surreal Ive had to laugh... | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 7/8/2012 1:06:23 PM | ok, i'll play. This will be long, so apologies in advance.
I go to a party. Mix and mingle and find myself talking to a slightly older gentleman who seems very pleasant. We exchange info about what we do. (he's an accountant, i'm a former telephone repairman who also trains horses and used to farm. )
he gets all excited because he works for a not for profit that runs a summer camp, has jus bought a large property and might be needing someone to operate the place as a woeking farm.
As the evening progresses, we continue mixing and mingling, but eventually find ourselves sitting together over dinner.
At the end of the night, he gives me a friendly hug, and says, can i talk to the nfp people, and have you come and see the property?
Yes, of course. He also tells me; (and this is where it starts getting funny) I'ld really like to ask you out sometime.
So. Following week, we go check out the place. As we're hiking around the propwrty, he tells me he's bored with his job as an accountant. He had tried being a teacher and had also done some time as a professional CLOWN. ( i do not like clowns )
i say: pleasedon't tell me you want to be a lion tamer.
I thought i'ld killed him or caused a heart attack, he doubled over laughing so hard. (c'mon, it wasnt that funny. He didn't get it, though)
anyway, i'm sort of enjoying the company and conversation, and i'm thinking: thia is good. He's got the perfect chance to say lets go for dinner...
We get in his car, and are heading back to my place. we pass by a casual litle place tha does fast cheap sit down or take out.
He asks if i've had dinner? No.
Great! He says, we'll stop here.
He leaves the ccar running, and asks what do i want?
I dont know so i go inside with him. (he still has a chance here, just how obvious does a girl have to be?
So. He orders me TAKE OUT. Nothing for him. We're chatting' i'm thinking okay this is not going to work. I reply to something with some smart remark, and the guy actualky shoots his hand forward, and tickles my tummy!!!!!
Food arrives, we drive home, i replied to another comment with something silly, and again, he tickles my tummy!! (what am i, like 6 or something??
He then tries to kiss me goodnight, and finishes up witth:
i'ld really like to ask you out sometime!!!!!
I promptly began referring to him as 'Tickle me Elmo'.
There's another innstallment, if you can beleive it. | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 7/8/2012 4:53:38 PM | Funniest I saw was a girl that is a friend of mine that noticed a bug on a guys back.
She told him "Sorry, but you have a bug on your back" and she removed it.
They started talking and ended dating... Still funniest pick up line I have ever heard. Not to mention it's actually the girl that said it. | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 7/8/2012 5:13:14 PM | I was the guilty one. It should be her funny story.
It was back in the 1980's and I assigned to a project to in the USA in Elko, Nevada. My English wasn't very good at the time. I met a woman who was living in Las Vegas and we talked about things. Among them being wine,cheese, etc. We made a date to meet in Las Vegas. So I looked up in the phonebook for a restaurant to take her to and there was one with cheese in the title . We get to the address and it is some children's restaurant but I didn't get that. My date is almost peeing herself with laughter. It wasn't until we sat down that I finally got it. . she was a great sport about it and we stayed and enjoyed the chaos among the children.
Afterwards she took me to a French bar along the Strip for a glass of wine so I'd feel more comfortable in my own language. However, when I ordered our drinks in French the waiter looked at me as if comatose. He called someone else over and they talked together in Spanish. . I switched to Spanish and ordered our wine in Spanish. My date said something how it was interesting how much French sounded like Spanish. Because of my limited English I didn't quite get what she meant at first . When the drinks arrived I said thank you in Spanish instead of French and she asked why I thanked them in Spanish and not 'Merci' (one of the few words she knew). I said because they don't speak French. Then it dawned on her why the French sounded like Spanish to her...because it was Spanish. She told me again. We both laughed so hard we had wine coming out of our noses.
Anyways, it was a wonderful evening and we laughed together for hours. | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 7/8/2012 8:22:40 PM | His teeth fell out on the table while we were chatting and having coffee.
This almost happened to me at a recent dinner date, actually. She told a funny enough joke and I managed to catch them before they fell out. Not in my hand, mind you. | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 7/9/2012 12:48:25 AM | I tried Match, they sent me on a date with my ex wife.
I tried Match, they sent me a cease and desist order.
I tried Match, they sent me on a conjugal visit.
I tried Match, they sent me a list of local psychiatrists.
I'll be here all week folks, next up Mamma Fontana. | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 7/10/2012 6:25:14 AM | I met a man on here. We talked for a while and then agreed to meet. He called and said he owned a cab company, so we could meet at a central location and have a cab drive us to the bar. I thought this was a good idea since no one would have to drive later. We meet up and he looks like his pictures, seems cool. We start talking and then he brings out his phone. He has friends 2 towns over who need a ride. It sounded as if we were going to the same place. He asks if I am okay with this. I just stare and ask if we are still going out. That's when he tells me he is staying in the cab all night because it's a new driver and I can ride along. O_o. I tell him I didn't plan on spending my night in a cab picking up drunk people. He offers to drop me off at a bar and pick me up later and only charge me half price for the ride. I just have them turn around and drop me off at my car.
He tried to charge me for the ride back. I refuse and we never talk again. | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 7/10/2012 1:47:21 PM | I went out on a few dates with a guy that seemed perfectly normal. We had a good time, so we plan a fourth date.
After dinner, he takes me home and I invite him in for a beer. Sitting at my kitchen table (fully clothed) talking, he begins to talk about how he's attracted to me, how much he wants me, and how we'd have great sex. It's been a handful of dates, so I can get the charged sexual atmosphere.
But then he stands up in my kitchen, kicks off his shoes, pulls off his pants and underwear, smacks his a$$ and tells me, "You know you want it and if we end up dating, do you think you could put on a strap-on and f*ck me in the a$$?" I am still fully clothed (with shoes on even!) and I can't stop laughing and shaking my head and telling him that I came with the equipment I came with and I plan to use it the way it was intended. At one point, while he's still standing there bare-a$$ed, I looked to the heavens and asked out loud, "What did I do to make this happen to me?" The most brilliant part of the date was that it didn't bother him in the least that he stood there half naked while I laughed at him. I totally thought I was being punk'd or something. | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 7/10/2012 3:43:47 PM | First date... VERY nice restaurant. He was another one who forgot to pull the chair out, but the waiter got it. This guy either had some issues I couldn't see/hear or was just that incredibly nervous .... he was sweating. Anyone ever see Along Came Polly? About that bad. Good A.C. (I was actually thinking of putting my sweater on) and the food wasn't spicy... just a seafood place.
At first he tried to ignore it, but sweat started running down his face, and he'd try blotting at it. At one point I started thinking, his hair looks a little different? I had only had one glass of wine, so know I was seeing straight.
Conversation was ok, though I had to pull a lot.
Well, he lets out sneeze in to his napkin and PLOOP... hair piece falls on to his bread plate! Honest to God! And I am so SO sorry for this, but my knee jerk reaction was to GAPE, then try as hard as I could NOT to giggle, which I did fail at... tears streaming from an effort NOT too!
He was absolutely mortified. I kept telling him "no worries". The poor waiter had NO idea what to do, gave him a napkin for his "hair" to hide in.
Though I had really, REALLY suspected a toupee when I first saw him in the restaurant, but man did his photos not show it! Needless to say, an already awkward date when down hill and we lost touch afterward.
I seriously would have DIED. | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 7/11/2012 2:04:44 AM | if they had popped out.... it would have been a tad more embarassing.... milk with your coffee???
Run for dah hills! | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 7/11/2012 8:39:57 AM | She said she didn't want an intimate incounter, That was ok with me. But it happened. Then she said "You got the smallest organ" to witch I replied "I didn't know I was playing in a cathedral"
Glide. | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 7/11/2012 7:44:17 PM | Props for everyone who shared their stories!
I had so many good laughs, haha!
I never had funny dates, only plain stupid ones.
I recall one date with this person who seemed really nice and attentive to me, but the thing is that person never had a profile photo nor showed me any even after I requested, so it was more of a "blind" date. Being optimistic I was, I still agreed to go on a date, who showed up looking way older, and way bigger in size than me, that person also talked in a very weird tone, and reminded me somewhat of a serial killer. Fortunately I was still sane enough and set up the meeting place in a busy public area. Upon seeing that person, all I wanted to do is get the hell away, but I had no idea how to do it.
So after a bit of awkward silence while walking down the street together, that person got a phone call which I was thankful for whoever called.
I took the chance, and I sneaked away when that person wasn't paying attention to me.
Now I do think I was very rude to have done that, but in a way that person tricked me to come out.
Moral of the story, don't ever pay any attentions to anyone who refuses to show you their photos/talk on the phone before going on a date. Never again! | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 8/16/2012 3:12:14 AM | Have to report this one.
Had a first meeting this week.
Was OK, nothing special. Nice man.
Met for about 15 mins, no kiss nor hug good bye.
Next day he contacts me to say that he doubts I am suitable for a relationship but he could have sex with me and is available on Saturday between 12noon and 2pm.
Nice to know that charm and couth still exists in this world. Ha ha | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 8/18/2012 1:17:59 AM |
Next day he contacts me to say that he doubts I am suitable for a relationship but he could have sex with me and is available on Saturday between 12noon and 2pm. You should ask him what he plans for you both to do afterwards.. for the other 1 hour and 55mins! ;o) | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 8/18/2012 2:23:22 AM | I went on a date with a girl from here a couple years ago and I took her to a race track. She was okay, I kinda got the "party girl" vibe from her after a few exchange of words and I already knew it was off.
So I just kept the conversation light yet still have a fun night.
We went on a walk to get some treats during the race and out of NOWHERE, she turns her head at me and says, "So, you got big feet and big hands do you have a big d1ck?" O_O I responded with...
"Well you have small hands and small feet do you have a small vag1na?"
Lol. | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 8/18/2012 4:19:12 AM | | Met a woman in the restaurant,woman was half drank, half of her teeth missing, dressed like she just wake up from last night sleep, she was keep dozing off at the table..........conversation was dull and brief. I made the date short and got out of there quickly and never return her call. | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 8/19/2012 11:50:36 AM | Technically, this date never happened. But one time I was supposed to meet a woman at a restaurant / bar. I was there on time and was up front in the waiting area for about 20 minutes. Since I didn't see her, I went to the bar section and had a drink and an appetizer. I left this place almost a hour after the original meeting time.
When I got home, I got an email from her accusing me of not showing up. She claimed she was there for about 30 minutes. WTF? I didn't use old or deceptive photos. I was in an area of this place where she should have seen me. It is possible that she showed up and didn't stay that long. But this is the first and only time I have been accused of not showing up on a date. | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 8/26/2012 12:51:24 AM |
I trip over the pot, fly through the air and land in the bushes face first!! I'm completely covered in mulch!! I'm laughing my ass off thinking about how funny this must have looked to him. He's not laughing! I don't know how he kept from laughing! On my way home I realize my thumb is sprained and two toes are broken. Never heard from him again
he probably was convinced that you were a liability by being accident prone! (even if you aren't) LOL
I have a similar story!
I once went to a former playboy bunny's house (I thought I had scored and made sure I do not screw anything up) and brought dinner over... she welcomed me at the door, I walked in.... and did not see the 1 step up on the pale grey marble floor about 5 feet from the door.. so I tripped forward with both of my hands with 2 bags in each hands. I made a run forward for 8-10 steps and I avoided to trip, and did not break the bottle of wine I had, but I surely made a fool of myself! I thought .... shit it's over! (now I think she should have been impressed of my saving ability)
We had dinner.... and that was it! she wanted to remain friends and go out to drink with me sometimes... and be my "wing girl" she said! how nice of her! But she never delivered!
LOLOL
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 8/26/2012 10:34:18 PM | | Yes. the 'accident' thing. I was on a 3 day backpack trip with friends and 'a friend of a friend'. This 'friend' and I hit it off from the start. ...all starry eyed the first night. The second day I'm hiking along and somehow managed to poke a tree branch up my nose. Anyways my nose got swollen and one eye blackened for the rest of the trip. It didn't hurt that much but I sure looked ugly....but kind of funny ugly and everyone got a laugh out of my new look. On the positive side, the woman and I hooked up after that and were together for a couple of years. | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 8/27/2012 1:11:30 AM | | This is not my actual date experience, but I know you will enjoy it just the same. This woman is set up on a blind date. Her date arrives at her hi-rise apt. building. She answers the door and tells him she is not yet ready, Could he wait downstairs by his car,she will only be a few minutes. She comes out of the building and there he is standing next to a car. Like a gentleman he opens the car door for her, and she gets in. She is fussing with her skirt and then looks up to see her date getting in the car in front of the one she is seated in. Then suddenly the man takes off in the car! Leaving her sitting in some strangers car - all alone! She has said in her profile that she weighed 120 lbs, but it was more like 220 lbs! you have to give it to this jerk, it was a damn creative way to get rid of a blind date! Guess being dis-honest will really come back to get you, huh? | |
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| Funniest first meeting/ date
Posted: 9/1/2012 8:08:37 PM | I was on my way to a meet with a guy from a different site, a few years ago. He claimed he looked exactly like Charlie Sheen. He didn't. But I went to meet him even though he was a bit delusional as far as his looks were concerned.
As I was driving, we were talking on the phone, as I was unsure of the exact location of the bar & I don't normally drive into the city. I could hear him repeatedly straining as he was talking. I asked, "Is everything ok?" He said he was a fine, but did I mind if he made a bowel movement?
I turned my car around & went home. I never spoke to him again. | |
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