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| | Stressed out 24/7 single momPage 3 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | I got alittle extra money back on my taxes and have a tat I wanted to get finished. I was told to do things for myself by other posters, wasn't I? I'm spending over 1000 fixing my truck for inspection, why can't I spend alittle money on myself? It's not enough money to move, and I'm getting other monies I'll be saving.
I can't sell the car, it's not mine to sell. I have my own car, I don't drive around a 69 Camaro. I have a car I use for work.
No, I refuse to go after my daughters father, and again, my reasons are my own. I will NOT explain them here, and he WILL NOT be in her life, until I feel she's ready. This is a desicion I've agonized over the entire time I was pregnant, and even have discussed with her father. He's not in her life, and I'm fine with it(to an extent). This choice was made with the advice of all of my friends and family, and one I'm not going to change just because I could get an extra 50 bucks a week. No thanks.
And having government benifits has nothing to do with her father. I have a job that doesn't provide insurance, as for her father, well I don't know what his deal is but I doubt he'd provide her with any type of insurance. I pay taxes, why the hell shouldn't my kid get health care?
As for excuses, sure, some of them may be excuses, some of them are just options I've already considered and have expressed my feelings as to why they're not an option. It's not "knocking" your opinion. It's just me facing the reality of some things I don't have a choice in. I pay too much in bills to move. Living in the apartment is the best I can do for now, until I get my debt paid off. Finishing(or not) my tattoo is not going to change this.
I'm looking into my options, and trying to figure out what I want to do, and I think I know, and now I'm going to go back into the suggestions given to me and see what I can do about getting my shit together and in order. | |
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| Stressed out 24/7 single mom
Posted: 4/15/2012 5:28:24 PM | Lets be realistic here. What do you(the people who say I keep making up excuses and knocking everyone's suggestoins) want me to say or do? Just say, oh okay I'll look into that, and just mentally brush it off because I already know it's not an option, atleast not at this moment in time. I want to go to college, I want to find what I'll love to do, I want to provide a life for my daughter, and I'm starting that treck right now, but the whole purpose of this post was for what I can do now. Finding god(not gonna happen), moving(not enough money), going out(cost money), doing things for myself(apparently I'm not allowed to do that now), going to college(starting that processes), getting help for my family(hahahahahaha, ever deal with a drug addict?), meeting people(easier said then done), all of these things, I'm not knocking any of them(well other then the god thing), they're just things I've already looked into, considered, and dismissed or put on hold until the option is a possibility. I make about 600 a week doing the job I do. I work nights, alone, in the woods while my daughter is sleeping in my truck. I get a few hours of sleep a day, have no one to help me(other then my crazy mother and the occassional baby sitter), and letting my daughters father in her(our) life isn't just an option.
I'm sorry if you don't like the fact that I've considered alot of the options you've already suggested. Believe me, I don't like it either. And I do appreciate people's advice, even if it's not an option for me.(Except the religous one) And I do take the ones into consideration that I believe are able to provide me with a direction. I've contacted a few users about the things they've suggested to me, or just to talk. So I am considering the things people have said or suggested to me. Just so ya know. | |
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lad3da
| | Joined: 3/12/2012
Msg: 51 | |
| Stressed out 24/7 single mom
Posted: 4/15/2012 10:34:38 PM | Hi PRC!
Well, I don't believe you need to get upset or angry at everyones suggestions -I'm assuming your emotion based on how I read your last post, if you are not hostile, disregard my first sentence then lol!
Everyone simply tried their best to help you out, if you feel as if you got what you were looking for then that's awesome! If not, it's food for thought for your future, which is already what you recognize as well!
I think what the majority of posters were implying is that where there is a will, there is a way. I mean look at that, you're making money given the situation that you're in right? Because you have the will to do so! In regards to moving forward, your best bet would be to definitely have long term goals, as well to make short term goals that you strive to attain.
So my advice would be to find what you are not happy with, within yourself and strive to make changes in that department first. It sounds lame and cliche but you truly need to be happy within your own person before you will genuinely recognize and appreciate any other type of happiness that you draw in, with the new self-improved you.
On top of everything, you have an innocent little baby girl that should not only bring you warmth and gushiness lol but be motivation enough! =)
Best of luck!!!! We are all here for you =) | |
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| Stressed out 24/7 single mom
Posted: 4/16/2012 6:23:53 AM | Hey momma!
I had so many things to say when this thread started but most ppl have said it for me, so I will add just a little more...
First off, I hear you, I feel you! I've struggled with depression most of my life and need therapy, which I get.
There are many therapists who work on a sliding scale (pay what you can or a little at a time) IMHO that should be first and foremost in your journey to getting your life on track! Therapists are unbiased and educated to help ppl with problems and concerns. Do what you can because it helps! Lonliness is pervasive and will hurt you in the long run...That brings me to my next comment:
No disrespect whatsoever, but I would stop looking for a relationship now. If you like the forums then change the profile to "friends" or whatever, but do that asap!
I think I know what you want in that respect; you would like a man to keep you company, validate your worth, give you hope, to cherish you and put you first (as you have done your daughter). The problem is, you have to love yourself FIRST. You can't go out because you have no sitter, you shouldn't bring your baby on dates, you shouldn't bring a man home...So how will this work?? Besides, you are not divorced yet so if a man is worth his salt, he will want to wait until you are.
At best get a penpal or someone with whom you can communicate online until the opportunity for a meet arises, but not now!
Check out forums on other sites like for single mothers, children of parents with issues etc. They will help you feel you are not alone and maybe give you advice that some of us on here are not equipped to do....
Best of luck to you and stay strong! You've already come this far so give yourself major pats on the back for what you have accomplished already.
Hugs,
Grace | |
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| Stressed out 24/7 single mom
Posted: 4/16/2012 6:53:58 AM | Try to find a hobby, anything to "mentally escape" even for a couple of hours like a dvd movie.
About that, same as books, look for something related to your situation as the inspirational ones.
I sense your main problem is to be close to suffer from depression.
In that regards, I recall an old arab proverb which say something along the lines: I stop craying for not having shoes when a saw a fellowman without feet".
Regarding your "fear for failure" to improve yourself... I repeat you what my son told me once: "its better to fail looking for success, than not to be successful because the fear for failure". | |
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| Stressed out 24/7 single mom
Posted: 4/16/2012 10:58:38 AM |
I appreciate that you're going to pray for me, but there's people who need your prayers more then myself.
I appreciate that you are putting others ahead of yourself-but for those of us that DO believe in a Higher Power, prayer is NOT a finite resource.
I also appreciate what you said about the hoarder TV show-it's nothing but exploiting certain peoples' issues to make a buck. Yeah yeah, I know, we all have to do something to make a buck-you are making a buck off peoples' need to read a newspaper, lol.
I know you are fatigued, stressed, and feeling down. But from what I can assess by your posts, you actually ARE doing OK, maybe even more than OK, and you have nothing to be ashamed of-or to apologize for. There may not be much you can do right now about your logistical isolation, but there are people living in the heart of cities who are also isolated. Sometimes it is just a matter of circumstance.
I know that you have very little spare time and/or money to throw around, but have you looked around your immediate area/life activities to see if there isn't some larger purpose you can get involved in? Perhaps there is a "friendly visitor" program in you area where you could simply check up on an isolated senior or disabled person? Are you interested in a cause that could use your help? That might serve to alleviate some of your isolation and provide you with networking opportunities that could prove useful.
You seem like a strong and smart young woman, OP. Don't let stuff get you down.
Cindy O | |
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