| | Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...Page 4 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | | What does it take to sit down have a drink or cup of coffee, thank them for their time and wish them good luck? I am a proponent for keeping the first meet short. First meets are easy to extend, much tougher to cut short. This is the reason why. There are going to be first meets that you know in an instance you are not interested in. If you keep it short you are less likely to be a coward and bail. If you are on the other end you havent set aside an entire evening for someone who doesnt show or looks and runs. | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/6/2012 8:02:29 AM | On-line dating is totally backwards to conventional dating, so the mindset to meeting-or not meeting-people is totally different. In conventional dating, you meet and talk to new people in various social settings, so the instant chemistry/physical attraction of people you might want to date is already established before going on a date and the following dates will establish if there's all of the other components required for a relationship. In on-line dating, people probe, quiz, psycho-analyze and examine every pixel of photos of potential dates, who are still strangers at that point, to see if it's worth while meeting in real life. And because of all of the interrogation and investigation before meeting in person, people are expecting total perfection and fourth of July fireworks within seconds of meeting in person, since so much time and effort was invested in checking out the caliber of person.
If there aren't those magical fireworks right away when seeing someone in real life, whether it's seeing the person sitting in a coffee shop and fleeing or spending 15 minutes with the person, the mindset is you and all of your computer research and analysis was a total failure, so it's "back to the drawing board"-hiding behind a computer screen and blocking out the world. People don't realize that no amount of computer analysis and texting will provide 100% accuracy on whether you and a total stranger are a good match, and no computer can provide instant chemistry, which people consider is the life line to dating. People who are frustrated with their failure to correctly analyze a stranger before meeting are the ones who flee after seeing but without meeting and find it easier to blame the other person for misrepresenting themselves-another term for "you're not as hot as I was hoping for". | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/6/2012 10:25:08 AM |
Kids do that kind of crap. That is the biggest insult known to mankind . That like saying ewww he or she is ugly and i dont want to be seen with that person. Can you imagine if the entire world was like that. Very sad
Maturity of a 12 year old, probably will be that way until they die.
i'd rather bump into strangers than have to tell someone i'm not interested in them after meeting them. i don't quite agree that it would be worse for a girl to hear/read rejection. i've met some of the most emo dudes who weren't even from the internet, but from real life and after a few dates, i had to say that i wasn't interested in anything beyond platonic friendship and i would be understanding if they don't want my friendship. i got all kinds of whiny questions asking me why this and why that and what they can do to improve. horrible. if anything, i think girls tend to not ask why.
I bet you can't wait to grow up and be an adult. | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/6/2012 10:30:33 AM | YES. maybe 2 years ago this happened to me. i think it was from pof actually.
talked for like a week or few days, agreed to meet at west ed.
and i did my best too look fantastic too.
make up + hair and nice looking jeans.
apparently after waiting for like 1 hour or more, he texted and said he saw me but "could do better"
i left and walked home after...
some people are just really stupid and i dont know what... when some one does shit like that. | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/6/2012 11:56:40 AM | Maybe the guy suddenly decided that he just wasn't as interested as he had thought earlier.
I suspect that the opinion I am about to express will not be universally popular:
Is it different than trading e-mails with someone for a while and then suddenly 'disappearing' and maintaining 'radio silence'? Is it different than getting a message from someone, looking at their pics, deciding you're not interested and never replying?
Mainly a difference in degree, not in principle, I would suggest. In all cases it's taking the easier course, rather than having to reject someone explicitly.
In the absence of social pressure to act decently, many people won't. | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/7/2012 7:43:19 AM |
Is it different than trading e-mails with someone for a while and then suddenly 'disappearing' and maintaining 'radio silence'? Is it different than getting a message from someone, looking at their pics, deciding you're not interested and never replying?
Mainly a difference in degree, not in principle, I would suggest. In all cases it's taking the easier course, rather than having to reject someone explicitly.
I think this situation is worse than suddenly stopping contact after some email messages. A person would have spent time and money driving to the date location, getting ready for the date, waiting for the other person to show up. A person might also have to adjust their schedules. Perhaps they had turned down other possible plans they could have had with friends or relatives. If they have fairly young kids, perhaps they had paid for a babysitter. | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/7/2012 11:02:54 AM | | OP, there are all types when it comes to dating. Irritating, yes, but fortunately not the norm. I always tell people they need a thick skin when it comes to this. If not they'll eventually be utterly consumed by anger, hate, or apathy. | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/7/2012 11:04:37 AM | | I'd never show up and leave like that (well, unless she was wearing an SS uniform and waving a swastika flag). If I'd arranged to meet someone, I'd want to at least sit down and talk to her for a while before making a decision. | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/7/2012 12:25:21 PM | I had a FREAK arrange to meet me in a cafe. I came there and no one approached me. I man walked right by me brushing my shoulder. It was him. He gets off on getting the woman to show up while watching from afar. FREAK.
Another man also asked to meet in a local pub. There were only men in the pub when I arrived and I waited by the door wearing what we agreed so he could locate me. He said he would wear a red shirt. No one in the pub had red on. So after 20 minutes I left. He then wrote me a scathing email that he was there the whole time and had been watching me. He said he didn't have any clean red shirts to wear and wondered why I didn't go up and ask every single man there, if it was him. block.
Mental illness is alive and well on POF. Now I demand a cell phone number before we met and test it by calling the date and checking if they answer. No more FREAKS. | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/7/2012 1:03:03 PM |
It's "fine" because the coward decided not to 'waste anyone's time?' She had ALREADY invested time into this meeting long before it happened - from keeping the night open for him rather than being with friends or running errands she may have had, to making sure her appearance was just right before going into the meeting place, and lastly, sitting there having coffee or a drink for 15-20 minutes while she waited for him to show up. There was PLENTY of time already invested! What you meant is that he didn't want to waste 10 or 15 minutes of HIS oh-so-precious time. This is total jack-hole behavior.
Someone buy this gal a pretty hanging plant.
:) | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/7/2012 1:04:57 PM |
He said he would wear a red shirt. No one in the pub had red on. So after 20 minutes I left. He then wrote me a scathing email that he was there the whole time and had been watching me. He said he didn't have any clean red shirts to wear and wondered why I didn't go up and ask every single man there, if it was him. block.
OMG!!! What a dork!!! 
I would have only given him 10 minutes!  | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/7/2012 1:06:50 PM | | i agree.i've dated women from here and they din't look like photo @ all.i don't want to b rude however,i work hard for my money.so anymore,i ask for a photo.cell to cell.even then,that's still makes me question.just b honest. | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/7/2012 5:45:29 PM | | I'm guilty of it. I went to see this broad, saw her, saw how tore up she was, I lied and told her the movies was closed. I'd rather just waste the gas than to be seen in public wit her. The homies might find out or something. On facebook she didn't look that bad, but then again she had none of herself smiling either. I mean I knew she wasn't a dime to begin with but I was expecting at least a 6 not a 2. Hopped in the whip and drove back home. | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/7/2012 6:56:21 PM | ^^^^^  Hi, Elvis! Remember me? I saw you at the International Hilton, Las Vegas in 1970, before you were fat! Glad to see you are taking care of yourself! 
I would't ditch you if we had a date, as long as you wore your jumpsuit! | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/7/2012 7:12:44 PM | sea sellsshells
I tend to agree with you and those who dont want to Skype, move on. It can also weed out the marrieds but no guarantee. However some people dont look quite the same in real life and if they have lied big time on the profile, height etc. , then I think the no show is best if you can manage to see them before they see you, and then text them why. I wish I had done that a few times. No point in wasting time only to have to reject them. More dangerous if they have met you in person as they may react badly. | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/7/2012 7:34:21 PM | notlitafairytale
That guy may have realised that he knew your Dad and had seen you maybe before and if had intentions to just play around, he realised it would not be a good idea. Not having hair is no big deal if they have other things going on. | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/7/2012 11:09:43 PM | | There are all kinds of weird behavior when it comes to dating/meeting-or not meeting-someone else. I've had at least one no show, one who did show and said it wasn't him- so now i don't wear long skirts anymore{just normal length}..One guy showed up early, and ,well, was a little too much to handle. Several years later he wrote me again..And then there are the guys who say they have a great job, but its all smoke and mirrors. They never show up. I've even hoped to meet men from POF, they seemed like a great match, but for some reason they changed their mind. Sad, but it happens. And there are the scary guys too. Those you usually figure out. I met some nice guys from here and other sites who would be great matches for other women, other guys were, well, maybe in a few years, maybe never. Its just part of life-as long as you can sort out the scary ones from the good guys, its a good start. | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/8/2012 6:07:20 AM | I had a date last night, had very high expectations as we had been texting all week and I had (stupidly) built up my expectations.
I would never ever leave immediately without at least a conversation, if only out of courtesy, anyone who does that is not a nice person in my opinion ?
I stayed an hour and a half although I must say my first impressions were that of disappointment. looks are only skin deep.
Anyone who makes that judgement with a glance is not worth your time anyway.. | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/8/2012 8:25:35 AM | | maaaaaaaaaaan, theres been a couple times where I thought I should have done that haha but I didn't sat there, had the coffee and listening to the B.S. and let them down later. | |
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| Dates who show up, see you, and then leave...
Posted: 4/8/2012 9:39:27 AM | | hi, i personally give up on finding someone, i might as well ive been on endless dates and its put me off men full stop (not gay) just cant seem to find a genuine, nice down to earth guy | |
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