|
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
| paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 5/26/2012 10:25:48 PM |
mommy "chooses" to have her baby and bio-dad wanted to have an abortion, tough luck, bio dad! You should have made sure you were protected when you wanted in her pants! Now, you have a responsibility. As, what another poster said. "Man-up!!"
As for the "mommy" who doesn't go after bio daddy for CS because she chose to have the baby when he didn't want it, but decides to go after a short
Why is MOMMY in quotes? Are you suggesting that the women you speak of, are not "real mommies? Are they faux mommies?
f mommy "chooses" to have her baby and bio-dad wanted to have an abortion, tough luck, bio dad! You should have made sure you were protected when you wanted in her pants! Now, you have a responsibility. As, what another poster said. "Man-up!!"
Shame on those awful, terrible women for owing uterus's, & thus having reproductive choices.
This mother who is the mother of my son's girls has a history of Short Term relationships and in each she is always looking for a new "baby daddy". (She has unresolved issues from childhood. It was basically a horror story.)
I have heard that this (looking for a new baby daddy) is quite common and I actually witnessed it for real. Just go to Family Court for 1 whole day. It blows the mind what does go on as far as "who's who in the zoo" with regards to "Who's the Daddy of the Month?"!!!
What is worse is that the Welfare social worker will get a court order done up for the "flavour of the month" to pay CS even if he's only been with her for six months to a year! I saw this!
If the courts keep up what they are doing, with some of these women's track records, she will be getting support from at least 10 men by the time her child is twenty!
Well, your darling son DID choose to sleep with & be in relations with this woman. Soooo,,,,,,yeah.......lol.
The way you go off on the woman was your sons choice & that he loved, suggests you may have some unresolved issues.
My son didn't have to take on the responsibilty of the non-bio child and be her father. He could've walked away....like so many BIO dads do, but he chose not to. It upsets him that her real dad has willingly stepped out of the picture. How could a father do this?
As for EVER walking away from his bio daughter, he would put himself through torture (hell and back) before he would ever consider letting another man be her dad.
He spends quality AND quantity time with them and spends a goodly amount of money on food, clothing and extras for them. They want for nothing and absolutely adore him.
That is a man. A very responsible man.
How many bio dads do that? How many ST non-bio temporary father figures who come and go have done this?
If he CHOSE to be a father to the girl, why does he need pats on the back for doing what parents do? he chose to be a parent, even if hot biologically, it was his choice. You dont get applause for doing for your kids. it is what a normal, loving parent does, weather biological or adopted out of love. | |
|
| paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 5/26/2012 10:55:50 PM |
If he CHOSE to be a father to the girl, why does he need pats on the back for doing what parents do?
Probably because he has zero obligations to that child one way or the other. He's doing something quite charitable, and it can possibly have a butterfly effect depending on how well he does contributing to the raising of that child. Some of us can see past our own noses and acknowledge that it's not the same as when the child belongs to you. I've yet to meet a step child who marginalized what their step parents have done for them in the same fashion that you have.
This mother who is the mother of my son's girls has a history of Short Term relationships and in each she is always looking for a new "baby daddy". (She has unresolved issues from childhood. It was basically a horror story.)
I have heard that this (looking for a new baby daddy) is quite common and I actually witnessed it for real. Just go to Family Court for 1 whole day. It blows the mind what does go on as far as "who's who in the zoo" with regards to "Who's the Daddy of the Month?"!!!
What is worse is that the Welfare social worker will get a court order done up for the "flavour of the month" to pay CS even if he's only been with her for six months to a year! I saw this!
If the courts keep up what they are doing, with some of these women's track records, she will be getting support from at least 10 men by the time her child is twenty! Well, your darling son DID choose to sleep with & be in relations with this woman. Soooo,,,,,,yeah.......lol.
It's nice to see that you have zero remorse for his struggles. Heaven forbid he makes a bad relationship choice. He didn't even sire the child, he just dated the woman. So because of which, he is liable for child support, and you're apparently okay with this. And people wonder why so many single mothers have such a hard time finding a guy that will stick with her beyond casual sex. | |
|
| paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 5/26/2012 11:25:57 PM |
Probably because he has zero obligations to that child one way or the other. He's doing something quite charitable, and it can possibly have a butterfly effect depending on how well he does contributing to the raising of that child. Some of us can see past our own noses and acknowledge that it's not the same as when the child belongs to you. I've yet to meet a step child who marginalized what their step parents have done for them in the same fashion that you have.
If he chose to be her father, that right there is a parental obligation. If he is parenting the child out of charity rather than a genuine love, he should rethink his choices to be involved with children. My children have had 2 step-fathers. One was a step-dad to one of my kids & a bio-dad to my other kid, should he have only been patted on the back for the kid that wasnt his biologically? Nah, he didnt care much for pats on the back, that wasnt his driving motive in becoming a father. He did it because he wanted to, didnt ask for anything but love in return.
It's nice to see that you have zero remorse for his struggles. Heaven forbid he makes a bad relationship choice. He didn't even sire the child, he just dated the woman. So because of which, he is liable for child support, and you're apparently okay with this. And people wonder why so many single mothers have such a hard time finding a guy that will stick with her beyond casual sex.
Oh please, almost every single woman wth kids who posts here gets berated for bad relationship choices. People make them, I have made them, it's life. Own it., dont whine about it. I dont care about his child support, those are his troubles, not mine. Apparently he did more than just casually date the woman if he was acting as a father to her child. Thats called being a family, not dating.
And people wonder why so many single mothers have such a hard time finding a guy that will stick with her beyond casual sex.
Oh please, where did i say that? Not true at all. I was a single parent at 19 & by 23 had a rock on my finger.
Many single parents go on to marry or re-marry or be in relationships, while single dudes living at their Mama's house bray on about them only being good for a quickie. If they want casual sex? More power to them, but it certainly isnt all they can get. | |
|
| paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 5/27/2012 12:26:55 AM | If he is parenting the child out of charity rather than a genuine love, he should rethink his choices to be involved with children.
Many guys take on these responsibilities because it's "the right thing to do," and even the so called genuine love has to develop over time.
Nah, he didnt care much for pats on the back, that wasnt his driving motive in becoming a father.
Small Sample Fallacy
It's just a figure of speech. Moreover, it's not so much whether they want recognition or not, but just whether they are deserving of one. It's kind of like our active/retired military. They are very deserving of recognition, but most of them aren't pandering for it.
Oh please, almost every single woman wth kids who posts here gets berated for bad relationship choices.
Having children is a big lifestyle choice. One that shouldn't be taken lightly. No person should be financially responsible for investing time in taking care of children that aren't even theirs. Hell, why don't we just sue babysitters, camp councilors, and teachers for child support too?
Thats called being a family, not dating.
They most certainly are not a family when the relationship falls apart. There is no sensible reason why he should be forced to maintain financial ties.
Oh please, where did i say that?
I didn't say YOU. One day you will be able to process that I'm not necessarily talking about YOU.
Not true at all. I was a single parent at 19 & by 23 had a rock on my finger.
Again, Small Sample Fallacy
Just look at these "dating single mother" forums.
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts14751271.aspx
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts11570879.aspx
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1985914.aspx
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts14578535.aspx
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts2205651.aspx
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts13699243.aspx
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts13619711.aspx
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts6541026.aspx
That's just -part- of a thread search for "single mothers." You put in "single moms" and find plenty more. Not to mention all of the threads that get deleted because the topic of dating them has been done to death, but you can keep your head in the sand if you want to.
while single dudes living at their Mama's house bray on about them only being good for a quickie.
I guess we are going to just ignore how many of these single mothers have to live with their parents because they decided to go to get their educations and careers started AFTER they had kids. But let me guess, because YOU managed to make it work, YOU speak for all other single mothers. | |
|
| paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 5/27/2012 6:49:45 AM | | Unfortunately.If the child was born during the marriage regardless of if the child is biologically his or not the courts consider it a child of marriage and he is responsible for the child anyways. I don't feel its fair, but it happens all the time with married women cheating. | |
|
| paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 5/30/2012 1:06:30 AM |
There are morals and obligations surrounding kids that adults make the decision to be there for that are very much black and white...
Sure...but once those ties are severed, they should not be liable for the kid anymore, especially seeing how it's NOT BIOLOGICALLY THEIR KID.
than obviously you have acted as a parent (parentis loco) for a long period of time.
That "long period of time" can be as little as 6 months. Moreover, if there is this financial obligation, then they should also be granted visitation rights, which they are not.
I cannot even imagine walking away from such an awesome responsibility
Throwing your money at the parent of a kid that isn't even yours without your discretion isn't exactly an "awesome responsibility."
Not having control over how that money is spent on the kid (if it's even being spent on the kid at all) isn't an "awesome responsibility."
I would get more pleasure out of just flushing my money down the toilet.
Back to your corner you lil troll...or band together with the other haters of single mom's to lobby legislation that will illustrate you very outdated and predjiduce opinions.....good luck....and stfu...back to your corner
One day you'll grow up enough to actually know how to have a decent contribution to a discussion. | |
|
| paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 6/1/2012 7:55:25 AM | | Wait for the paternity test results. If he's not the father, go to court & stop all forced child support. Anything done (visitation) or given (financially) thereafter will be out of the generosity of his heart. The girl's 13 & will figure things out on her own very soon & even seek him out if the mom puts a stop to visits. Heartbreaking for him yes but will resolve itself after a little time. | |
|
| paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 6/1/2012 12:51:12 PM | The issue for me would be being mandated to pay for children that are not mine when the NCP is already paying. Why would you need the former step parents money as well if you are already receiving the full amount of child support?
Also, from reading your posts I understand that you are taking care of two of your most recent partners children which brings up an interesting situation when / if your relationship with their father breaksdown. Since he has two kids and you have one, it is conceivable that you would be in a position of having to pay child support for your former step children. Since I believe their bio mother is not paying anything this would mean that in Ontario you could be on the hook for the entire amount, which could amount to approximately $1,000 per month. This would not include the cost of post secondary education or extracurricular activities of course which are in addition to the base amount.
I'm don't know your financial situation but in my case it would have had, my daughter is in university now and has a trust fund to pay for it which my ex and I contributed to, a negative effect on my ability to support her. Would you be in a position to pay an extra $1,000 per month, again excluding saving for their post secondary education and the extracurricular activities, since it is clear that you are acting as a parent to his kids? Are you prepared move out of your house if you could not afford both the mortgage and the child support payments?
When I was paying child support and as I have written here before it would have been financially ruinous for me to have to pay child support for step children. I was already paying $900 per month, not including saving for university and paying for extracurricular activities, and then to add lets say anotehr $1,200 per month on top of that for the additional child support for step kids. That would mean I would be spending $2,100 per month just on child support. What it would have meant is that I would have had to sell my house and move into a much cheaper place in order to afford this.
But then again as you said before, if you want to play house with a single mom you better be willing to man up and accept that it is going to cost you. | |
|
| paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 6/3/2012 11:19:06 AM | "Why would you need the former [stepfather] money as well if you are already receiving the full amount of child support?"
I´ll keep the correction. Stepmothers don´t pay for non biological children. Only men do.
The answer is simple: 84% of custodial parents are mothers and only half work full time/year round -US Census Bureau, 2009- and the State won´t get the tab. | |
|
|
|
|
Page
5
of
5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
|
|
Home
login 
