| | Screening while on POFPage 6 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | | When I start thinking about ending a bad relationship, writing things down can help me come to a sensible decision. I make a list of why I want to stay with the person, and I make another list of why I need to stop seeing the person. A lot of what you mention, such as having your actions monitored and having to defend why you talk to people, would definitely be in my list of reasons to break up. If the list of reasons to break up is longer than the list of reasons to stay together, then it is time for me to move on and find someone who is a better match. | |
|
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/15/2012 1:32:51 PM | " How does he have the ability to know when I am on POF through his phone? IS this an option on POF?"
this relationship of your's is toxic on so many levels. If I had to count on my fingers, I'd be taking my shoes and socks off as well.
You deserve better than this abusive man. The problem is, that YOU have to believe it, and then act on it.
I can't count the classifications that he falls under.
It doesn't matter how he is able to keep you on his leash; POF or otherwise. I heard that Lincoln freed the slaves a long time ago. Your willingness to particiate in this multiple level persecutor/victim ongoing drama, says to me that you may have missed that memo.
" Just like them you know this is not a normal relationship. "
I have a strong feeling that the OP does not know HOW abnormal anything about the relationship is. I have a feeling that this kind of relationship may be all that she knows, and that she's trying to make something meaningful and fulfilling, out of a toxic and dangerous relationship.
OP, There's a strong similarity in the ingredients that make flour... and concrete! Think about that | |
|
| There is a Mobile App for POF
Posted: 4/15/2012 1:40:38 PM | " bully's are chicken.
Abusers who know the system are not afraid of the police."
Until they sometimes kill their victim. Look up the statistics. How many women have been killed with restraining orders in their pockets, or safely kept at home ? some women kill their boyfriend, or husband. That's well documented as well.
If they have killed their victim, does it matter to the deceased, what happens to their abuser, who's still living ?
According to Hotline.org, " 1 IN 4 WOMEN, 1 IN 9 MEN IN UNITED STATES ARE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIVES "
| |
|
| There is a Mobile App for POF
Posted: 4/15/2012 2:33:20 PM | | Wait, this all sounds crazy. I feel like maybe the situation is different than it seems. Things don't ad up. I think you may be in la la land and have a break from reality in your judgement of the situation. You introduce him to new guys? You let him have a harem of woman FROM A DATING SITE??? I am not at all controlling of men, but screw the woman you met on a dating site before me unless we all meet and you are really just friends who met in an unusal way. I'm sorry, but I think you may both need serious therapy. Not as a couple but as a couple of people who are crazies. | |
|
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/15/2012 3:44:02 PM | licoricecat_1
Why do you continue to stay in this abusive relationship?
His charm with you and other people?
Guess what Adolf Hitler was said to have "charm"
So was Saddam Hussein
So was Charles Manson, I know someone who actually knew him!
Did you know Charles Manson was "gopher" for the MASH 4077 TV crew before he committed mass murder?
He used his charm to get the job!
You need to listen to what some really decent people here on POF are telling you!
End it!
Dump him! Ignore him, no phone calls, no emails, don't answer your door if comes by.
Forget about your belongings, are they worth you getting physically hurt or killed over?
Good gosh woman, you are beautiful, you apparently have a nice personality, find a man who will truly respect you, truly love you with all of his heart!
Treat you like a Princess everyday!
Where are these kinds of men?
Well one is trying to offer you some good advice!
All I ask is please listen and heed my advice!
Have you considered finding an RN job out of state?
Just slip away one day and move!
Sounds hard to do?
What's your life or physical well being worth to you?
Leave your belongings in storage behind, you can always replace them
Where I live they are screaming for RN's and paying huge bonuses
But for your sake get out of that relationship! | |
|
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/15/2012 4:42:17 PM | OP, I don't know how to say this: I am also an RN and I find it incredible that you would tolerate this man's bs. This "relationship" is so dysfunctional it defies rationalization.
What would you say to a friend, colleague or patient who told you they were involved in such a relationship? I know that you must have more intelligence and common sense than you are excercising in your own life.
You are attractive, smart, educated and self sufficient. WTH would you even be involved in this? You can do better and you know it!!! | |
|
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/15/2012 6:28:09 PM | | OP,you have to step back and understand that he has been beating on your brain for quite some time.This is really quite surprising...surely the smile on your profile is quite forced,you cannot be happy on any level....there is nothing whatsoever to discuss with this excuse for a man.....end this now for yourself and the obvious concern of so many ....this is saddening... | |
|
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/15/2012 8:01:11 PM | No, there is no option that signals when someone comes online. However he could be watching on his own computer to see when you're on...?
Girl, this is creepy. You've answered why you're still with this man. And I find it odd that you come on here and complain about him. What the heck kind of relationship is that?
Sincerely, I think you may be obsessed with the drama - like addicted to it.
Are you?
With any addiction, it's hard to bust but once you get your judgement back you'll wonder why you were so stupid.
And I'm sorry, but someone has to say it - if I were your girlfriend I'd tell ya, you're being stupid. Get your butt to a good counselor, one that costs something, and talk this out. Your life is flying by and is this all you're going to expect from it?
When your laying on your death bed, will you be satisfied with how you handled this?
Or how about, what dreams have you lost while you've been goofing around with this toad? | |
|
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/16/2012 6:18:38 PM | | a real man doesn't need to treat his woman like this. he should be treating her like the goddess she is. get rid of this player as soon as you can and find a man that will recognize as his luck and act accordingly in his treatment of you | |
|
| |
jmark4
| | Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 134 | |
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/17/2012 2:03:16 AM |
I have been on and off with this guy, due to unresolved issues, that are not acceptable. I was introduced to POF due to him being on it while we were dating and he was also dating others from POF. He has many female friends that I am ok with but he does not want me to meet them and when I have met a few, they cause division between me and him and report to him anything I say.
Our new argument is that he states he knows every time I am on POF because he has a beep that goes on his phone as to the time I am on POF and when I get off. He then starts becoming hostile towards me. I told him that I enjoy talking to ppl on POF and that when he calls me in the am our calls are quick and he ends them through an argument. Later, when I call him back at night he doesn"t answer the phone. I told him I miss the normal interaction with him and hangs up, and that when he does not agree with something, he could be nice about it instead of swearing and yelling at me. He then plays the victim and says, are you blaming this on me? and hangs up. I want normal interaction from him and I am not getting it. I have already calmly verbalized this to him. On POF I could interact with ppl esp. in the forums that I am not getting from him. Need feedback on this.
Why in the world are you complaining about this? he can do whatever he wants and you will stay so I really don't know what people can say to you.
ANY man that has secret relationships with the opposite sex and doesn't want you to know is cheating. end of story.
There are no unresolved issues; this just isn't a good match. You either need to date or stop playing the POF game in my opinion. I have tons of friends and family to talk to and dont need people from an online dating site to talk with.
If you arent' talking to him then why be together? this is a train wreck IMHO. I would leave yesterday if someone treated me this way. Some women put up with so much. It's amazing. | |
|
| |
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/17/2012 6:39:21 PM | | I have two thoughts on this. First - he is POF stalking you. You do not want this kind of controlling, hostile and obviously lying person in your life. Second - you probably already know that this guy isn't the one for you. He is not giving you what you need so consciously or not you are continuing your pursuit by keeping your profile active. If you were serious about building a relationship with this man then you would have no problem discontinuing checking your profile. I found the one person I would gladly discontinue using my account for, sadly he doesn't feel the same. So I will continue my search, and I think you should too. Wishing you the best of luck! | |
|
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/17/2012 7:37:37 PM | | hello! he doesn't have secret service equipment! he is playing games. and he has other girlfriends how? | |
|
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/19/2012 1:57:20 AM | | It almost sounds abusive. I'm not really sure. The issue of jeolousy is a hard one. Abusive relationships are even harder. Most people would not put up with someone yelling and swearing at them. Some people accept it because they see something good in the person yelling at them. I would never allow this type of abuse in my house but who am I to say what other people want or need. You really need to thing about this one for yourself. | |
|
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/19/2012 7:32:32 AM | | Run from him and run far. you don,t have to take this from him.I f you continue to take this then you deserve it. | |
|
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/19/2012 10:51:41 AM |
bully's are chicken
That one makes me laugh.
The ONLY constant (read history books) of humanity is the effeciency of brute application of force. In regular words; "if it dont listen, hit it". Like it or not, that's the only way the world works, and that's the way it always will as long as were 2 legged, 2 handed carbon-based life forms.
Bully's might be chicken in a sense, but they're also more than that; they're at the top of the food chain. Take governement; is there REALLY a bigger bully? DOnt pay your taxes, you get arrested. Don't respect their laws, you can get imprisonned. Walk up to a senator to tell him you disagree with his ideas, 20 bodyguards are going to jump you and throw you in a cell for a few hours or days.
So is a bully really a coward? Nahuh. They`re the ones who understand how to manipulate efficiently the rest of peope.
Doesn't make it Right. But that's the way it is. | |
|
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/19/2012 11:27:10 AM |
I do stand up to him and tell him not to talk to me that way, but he does what he wants to do. I have invested a lot into this relationship and all I want him to do is talk to me respectfully even if we disagree with something. I already have told him several times, but he continues. When I have broken up with him and dated others, he cannot be cordial with anyone when I introduce him. He either undermines me and gets close to him or handshakes him so hard that he almost breaks the guys hand.
If you ask him to be respectful (as long as you are respectful yourself in asking him to be respectful) and he does what he wants to do, wouldn't that lead one to believe they don't HAVE respect for you?
And when you have broken up with him and dated others, why the heck are you introducing anyone to him? I don't know almost anyone who would knowingly introduce current date to an ex partner.
I don't understand what it is about this guy and how he is acting NOW that has you so totally trying to mangle your conflicting parts into a whole; it sounds like all of it is drama; which means it's more about games and control than it is two people being good for and with each other. If you have no voice; he has no trust for you and you get no respect, this is something you WANT for yourself?
(how they act is how they feel about you. He's not going to change and you don't like how he acts; so you're going to either have to accept him exactly as he is or find a better fit. There is not a third option) | |
|
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/24/2012 2:50:12 PM | | get out while you are a head.....what is wrong with you? hanging on to such childish behaviors | |
|
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/24/2012 9:43:10 PM | I'd suggest some ear plugs and maybe a lozenge.
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you said Screaming while on POF
This process can make anyone scream at times. | |
|
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/24/2012 10:41:55 PM | Ding ding ding,we have a winner... a post/thread that leaves me without words. {plus I'd only be echoing all the pages before me}
EXCEPT that yes, there are 'some' applications that indicate when mail has arrived in the mailbox of a recipient. I was shown this app late last year by a teacher so on 'this' basis, maybe, just maybe OP is sending emails to the 'fellow'. Hence he's getting a "beep" to alert him that she's on POF - I know of no other apps that 'stalk' the arrivals and departures of POF users
otherwise, dang this thread is worthy of a longneck and chips and I'll be...... | |
|
7thour
| | Joined: 12/2/2011
Msg: 145 | |
| Screening while on POF
Posted: 4/24/2012 10:54:06 PM | NO!
NO!
NO!
NO!
NO!
NO!
The most powerful word in the english language. You need to say it to yourself first, before you say it to him. | |
|
Home
login 
