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| Is it still lying when a person reveals the truth about themselves *before* a planned meet & greet?
Posted: 4/10/2012 4:48:06 PM | The truth of the matter is it depends on the market you are trying to attract? Ive had a lot of emails because I dont have children, but Ive had women reject me because Ive never had children, Single parents ( some) especially those with young children tend to get overlooked , of course there are exceptions ( usually if they are extremely attractive)
What is appealing to one isn't appealing to another, this is why some people feel the need to lie, I wish I can find that report that said 87% of the people who use online dating fabricated something in their profile, whether its Age, older ones saying they are younger, height, weight, marital status and the new trend younger ones pretending they are older to attract the older crowd( which I find bizarre)
I think if people were honest from the get go, post proper pics, post proper info you will get bites may not be a lot of bites but isn't the objective here to find one person , unless you are a person that needs multiple encounters and if that is the case you need to hit the sites that caters to what you need?
The need to find someone overtakes their ability to be honest IMO, and that isn't good in my books. | |
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| Is it still lying when a person reveals the truth about themselves *before* a planned meet & greet?
Posted: 4/10/2012 5:21:17 PM | | When I come to a question like this, I ask myself, does the "end truely justify the means"??????? Very rarely have I concluded that "fibbing" (or just "not saying") is the way to go. Sure, many don't like it, when I say what I do,but, ANYONE that "knows" me expect nothing less from me. One of the reasons many people come to me in confidence when they find the need. Of course,it doesn't help me in the romance category. (I miss those funny cartoon faces) | |
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| Is it still lying when a person reveals the truth about themselves *before* a planned meet & greet?
Posted: 4/10/2012 6:36:52 PM | Some already suggested that you can't start to build a foundation on a lie right at the start. What else are they lying about? Abusive? Manipulative? Wife? More than one child? Where does it stop.
Just tell him no, move on to the next one. You are a good looking woman which means you will have choices. You just have to weed through bad apples to get to the good apples. That's all there is. | |
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| Is it still lying when a person reveals the truth about themselves *before* a planned meet & greet?
Posted: 4/11/2012 9:07:19 AM | "Are they denying their children or just trying to come across as more appealing and more desireable? I am sure people without children get more bites than those with and there are some who play on this."
They are doing both. They are saying that they will do anything to get a date.. even deny their own flesh and blood. Trust me this is just the beginning of the many lies to come.
You are right, people without children probably do get more bites, but that still doesnt' justify lying about your kids. Would you deny your kids just to get a date??? I know I wouldn't.. | |
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| Is it still lying when a person reveals the truth about themselves *before* a planned meet & greet?
Posted: 4/11/2012 9:25:54 AM | I could never understand why a person would lie on their profile since eventually they will be found out. You state that you want to date men under 51. This person is 53 and said he was 45, if I read one of your other posts correctly. That's a big difference and saying you don't have children when you do is even worse. Obviously, they are not over 18 or it wouldn't be an issue. So, instead of a 45 y/o man with no children, you've found a 53 y/o with at least one younger child. Hmmmm.
If a person is going to lie about those things, what else will they lie about? I met a man on here who lied about his age and I made excuses to myself for it... he didn't want to be excluded from possible searches because of his age, he still looked like he could be 52 (he was, in fact, 62), he was a vital, enthusiastic, young at heart person. Yeah, well... he also had up a photo that was quite old and he looked nothing like his photo. Not that I ever found out myself. A friend met him to see what he looked like since he always came up with excuses not to send me a current photo. He was older, shorter, much heavier and grayer than he had portrayed himself to be. There were quite a few things he lied about I found out. So now, I'm much more cautious about what I consider 'white lies'. If you cannot be honest about who you are, then how can I trust anything else you might say?
Too overlook dishonesty in someone because they are handsome is something you may regret. Perhaps that man is use to lying and getting away with it because of his looks. No telling what else he maybe hiding. I would rather meet a man with integrity and sincerity than someone with questionable scruples. Looks don't make up for intentionally lying to you. And if he's that hot, wouldn't you have said you'd meet him anyway, no matter his age or whether he had a child?
Bottom line is it's your call. Let us know what you decide. | |
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| Is it still lying when a person reveals the truth about themselves *before* a planned meet & greet?
Posted: 4/11/2012 9:40:54 AM |
Too overlook dishonesty in someone because they are handsome is something you may regret. Perhaps that man is use to lying and getting away with it because of his looks. No telling what else he maybe hiding. I would rather meet a man with integrity and sincerity than someone with questionable scruples. Looks don't make up for intentionally lying to you. And if he's that hot, wouldn't you have said you'd meet him anyway, no matter his age or whether he had a child?
Yes I did say that, but ended up leaving those dishonest meet & greets with a sour taste in my mouth and quickly lost interest.
The man I wrote this post about who is tall and handsome wrote me in response to my asking him why he lied and said "I am not lying - it is the way I present myself". I told him, "it is lying and good luck with that" and blocked him. Yes...he was handsome but like many have said on here there could be more he is hiding and I would prefer not be be somebody's doormat. | |
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| Is it still lying when a person reveals the truth about themselves *before* a planned meet & greet?
Posted: 4/11/2012 9:52:10 AM |
Yes I did say that, but ended up leaving those dishonest meet & greets with a sour taste in my mouth and quickly lost interest.
The man I wrote this post about who is tall and handsome wrote me in response to my asking him why he lied and said "I am not lying - it is the way I present myself". I told him, "it is lying and good luck with that" and blocked him. Yes...he was handsome but like many have said on here there could be more he is hiding and I would prefer not be be somebody's doormat.
G'donya, fall-blossom! You deserve better than that! | |
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| Is it still lying when a person reveals the truth about themselves *before* a planned meet & greet?
Posted: 4/11/2012 11:29:08 AM | It really depends on how bothered you are by it... trust your instincts and do not apologize if it is an issue.
For me it would be, no matter when the truth comes out if it is different than what he portrayed himself for at first its the classic bait and switch. Trying to get you interested enough to stick around for what he feels is a negative in his life.
I am not apologetic for having my kids or having custody of them, it will make things harder for many potential dates but I only want to hear from the ones that are okay with it so I include it on my profile. I would not say leaving it out would be lying unless I also clicked no kids on the check box thing but omission of details is not such a big thing to me compared to lying about age or kids. | |
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| Is it still lying when a person reveals the truth about themselves *before* a planned meet & greet?
Posted: 4/12/2012 6:20:44 AM | Go ahead and meet him. And months later when you find out he has many, many other lies hidden away dont act all indignant and shocked. What you tolerate today, you HAVE to expect tomorrow.
In my past pof experiences, I thought like many here...'oh a little white lie is not harmful'. I let two men slip through who 'only fudged thier age'.
Yeah...that was the tip of the friggin iceburg. And to boot, because they confessed very early on, and I still went out with them, guess what signal I sent to them...that I am OK with being lied to.
I am not OK with being lied to, and now my actions show that. Once I know they lied, I never see them again. End of story.
There are LOTS of men on here who are being honest, focus on those men and leave the liars behind.
A liar is a liar. | |
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| Is it still lying when a person reveals the truth about themselves *before* a planned meet & greet?
Posted: 4/12/2012 8:10:12 AM |
Yeah...that was the tip of the friggin iceburg. And to boot, because they confessed very early on, and I still went out with them, guess what signal I sent to them...that I am OK with being lied to.
I am not OK with being lied to, and now my actions show that. Once I know they lied, I never see them again. End of story.
It took a while for me to wrap my head around all of this - as most can tell. But...I did get there afterall! :) | |
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| Is it still lying when a person reveals the truth about themselves *before* a planned meet & greet?
Posted: 4/12/2012 2:54:29 PM | well... i had someone who introduced themselves as divorced, free available and looking for a relationship who turned out to be married with two daughters...
I had someone who introduced themselves as separated and wanting a relationship who it turns out were still in the same house with their soon to be ex, in the middle of a NASTY legal battle and their being in the dating arena magnified the fire they were in a hundredfold... I did not find this out until after they had dated me several times; and I found out that their soon to be ex was totally freaking out about the idea of me even though the ex was the one who demanded the divorce and was demanding they move out..
And I just had someone who introduced themselves as 49 who admitted before meeting for the first time they were ractually 59 (but said htey looked 49 at most which I will admit they did)... and then said there was nothing else they lied about.
The first lie I hated because it continued all the way through; the second lie I hated because I would have avoided a very complicated situation had I known how not fully separated they were was; and the last one I guess was what some people would call a "white lie" because it was age... but ten years is not exactly chump change. That's a pretty big white lie... I think deliberately misleading someone and hten trying to make the coming clean palatable is setting a bad precedent... though waiting until the lie is found out is a worse precedent I guess... | |
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| Is it still lying when a person reveals the truth about themselves *before* a planned meet & greet?
Posted: 4/14/2012 9:48:11 AM | | I have seen so many pictures of women that look like they are in their late 30s or early 40`s but when you check their profiles , (yes ladys a man that checks all profiles of women he likes the look of and some from sheer boredom) It is easy to see they are lieing to their back teeth about it . It is vein and is no way to try and start a relationship , I mean come on when do you think he is gonna notice before the first cup of coffee or are you hoping to meet him smashed out of his brains in a pub . To answer your question about kids ect chances are they wanna be sure they like you and vice versa before telling you about their children , cant say I agree with it but is your choice in what to do . | |
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| Is it still lying when a person reveals the truth about themselves *before* a planned meet & greet?
Posted: 4/15/2012 5:04:14 AM |
Are they denying their children or just trying to come across as more appealing and more desireable? I am sure people without children get more bites than those with and there are some who play on this.
They're behaving inappropriately because they are ***holes. They can easily mention that they are parents without compromising the safety and privacy of their children.
And no, I get responses, but that doesn't mean they are seriously interested in me or in my family. The same can be said of childless subscribers. | |
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