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| | single 10months... feels like 10 years :/Page 3 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | 1. Single 10 months
2. Younger child is 7 months.
3. So you left the relationship while late in second/early in third trimester of pregnancy due to abuse.
Was the abuse physical, verbal, emotional, or a combination? You might want a support group. You seem to be in a lot of pain, which is understandable. You might need to be reminded that you are unique and valuable. | |
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| single 10months... feels like 10 years :/
Posted: 4/19/2012 1:17:15 PM | Hi Jose, yes you're right i left late in the pregnancy to protect myself and children as was isolated with him in london. got away to live near family support and very happy! :) i've done a course called the freedom programme to help me identify abusive traits in future partners and i'm still awaiting counselling via women's aid. I'm not sure if there are support groups here. I'll look into it. Thanks for the reply ! :)
x
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| single 10months... feels like 10 years :/
Posted: 4/19/2012 8:56:58 PM | | Don't worry OP, I know it seems like a long time, especially with the youngest not even a year old yet while on your own, but pretty soon the baby will be a lot more independent and time will start flying by again. Don't feel too discouraged, you should think about some of the earlier advice regarding sending out the messages first to the guys you think you might be interested in, or just give it some more time. I don't know how it is over there in the UK, but over here no one gets scared off by less than 3 kids, so you should be ok. | |
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| single 10months... feels like 10 years :/
Posted: 4/20/2012 3:36:22 AM | OP - My comments about employment and a car were as they stated, things many people will think when viewing your profile but hey, if you intend having free dates walking around a park for the foreseeable future, good luck to you.
Now, despite the fact you dimiss the information I have provided because you feel you know better, I did reach out to some contacts in the UK regarding this because being new to the area and with a lot on your plate, I thought you might like the information to tuck away should your require it at some stage in the future:-
....I'm not sure if there are support groups here. I'll look into it. Thanks for the reply ! :)
Most of the support groups in your geographical area center around victim support, women's aid, social services. The local GP or citizens advice will have a list of the local charity or support groups. Sadly, the people of your area donate more to a donkey sanctuary down there than any domestic violence charities, I remember a case study on it that horrified me. Anyway, if you are interested in specifics, feel free to contact me and I will provide them to you. | |
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| single 10months... feels like 10 years :/
Posted: 4/21/2012 6:52:46 AM | At 22 years of age and you have 2 kids, sorry, but I think that you lack maturity! If I had two children of that age I would be more concerned about their well being! I get it that you are young & you want to enjoy yourself, but your children's needs should come first! There are way to many women out there who get so caught up with,"meeting a man" that they forget shout their children! FOCUS your attention to your children and raise them to feel safe and secure! Look to making a better life for yourself with or without a man by your side!
Your lack of maturity was also evident by the way you responded to import from uk! The woman is trying to help and you laugh at her; you need to worry a little more about your children and A LOT less on getting your freak on! IMO you asked, I replied ;) | |
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| single 10months... feels like 10 years :/
Posted: 4/21/2012 8:05:38 AM |
Import you share some interesting knowledge but please know i am not naiive i have been single for a long time please know i am not desperate and yes pedos date women with kids but i don't think that's likely to happen to me
You state you've been single for 10 months, and it feels like it's been 10 years, AND THEN tell us you've been single a "long time"?????? Young lady,,,I wouldn't worry about inviting ANOTHER person into your life,until,well, you get your life in order. I mean REAL order. Not the imaginary kind.
Import has given adivice, but because some here "think" that "stuff" that she speaks of will NEVER happen to them or their children, they dismiss and argue. I know ya "think" ya know,,,but, ya don't. At one time, no parent would ever worry about leaving a child alone with a priest. Ya think they would worry today????? | |
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| single 10months... feels like 10 years :/
Posted: 4/21/2012 2:15:31 PM | You state you've been single for 10 months, and it feels like it's been 10 years, AND THEN tell us you've been single a "long time"?????? Young lady,,,I wouldn't worry about inviting ANOTHER person into your life,until,well, you get your life in order. I mean REAL order. Not the imaginary kind.
Import has given adivice, but because some here "think" that "stuff" that she speaks of will NEVER happen to them or their children, they dismiss and argue. I know ya "think" ya know,,,but, ya don't. At one time, no parent would ever worry about leaving a child alone with a priest. Ya think they would worry today?????
^^
I concur
I should add to Imports' earlier posts that there are female sexual predators to be aware of as well.
OP... 10 months? Try 10 years. *guffaws*
I do understand your feeling. Trust me, I do. It is a feeling many, regardless of age and circumstance, feel. It's called loneliness. Once you understand this, figure out healthy ways of tackling this.. you're well on your way to dealing with it. Not letting it overwhelm you.
Like walking up stairs, take the steps up to the dating part starting with your kids being number 1, you number 2, then everything else ie; career, finance, transportation, homelife, etc etc etc.
Time heals all. You will meet someone but no rush. Enjoy life. :) | |
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| single 10months... feels like 10 years :/
Posted: 4/22/2012 1:59:34 PM | Thanks all for the latest replies.....
i would like to state to the idiot that said i lack maturity that no i do not and i am also NOT trying to get my freak on!!!! if i wanted to do that it would be easy..for any female i imagine it would be. i haven't had sex in over a year so please give it a rest you idiot!
Import i did appreciate what you were saying but it turned into a lecture and i am also studying the ins and outs od domestic abuse and sexual predators etc... you're right about the donkey sanctuary!! i think 1 million £ was cut in funding to the domestic violence charities last year. I'd also like to state that i lived in devon BEFORE i moved to london, so i really know the area well. Also would like to state that dates don't have to be free nor do they have to be expensive fine dining! There are PLENTY of places i have been with vouchers or general deals where you can have a lovely meal for £10 pp. Money for dating alone isn't an issue to me, and if it is to my date then we're probably not suited.
to the person who said i don't focus on my kids.... i am with my kids all the time! i never go out at weekends, i stay at my family's house and they are around their aunties and grandparents etc. i fully focus on my children. the only time i am looking to talk to guys/on POF is at this time around 8/9pm at night when they are FAST asleep. This stuff does not consume me, i am fully aware of my priorities thanks. Yes i guess i am a little lonely but i deal with it just fine. I was just looking for words of support and also conversation with other single parents! :)
Thanks everyone for the support and i really appreciate the advice it's given me stuff to think about.
Emily | |
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| single 10months... feels like 10 years :/
Posted: 4/22/2012 6:34:19 PM | holly crap.. the stuff people right! Don't worry you will find someone. just find a single dad....someone with kids.
thye will understand and if they don't...well you should date them. good luck | |
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| single 10months... feels like 10 years :/
Posted: 4/24/2012 2:40:54 PM |
holly crap.. the stuff people right
*shudders* I agree.....vewy scawy control issues.....emphasis on scawy.....
OP, 10 months?! Wait til you're my age and it's been 4 years!! I know it's normal at your age to want to be coupled...just give yourself enough time to heal from your last relationship...I think you've shown grace and maturity in this thread by the way. | |
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| single 10months... feels like 10 years :/
Posted: 4/25/2012 10:49:19 AM |
*shudders* I agree.....vewy scawy control issues.....emphasis on scawy.....
OP, 10 months?! Wait til you're my age and it's been 4 years!! I know it's normal at your age to want to be coupled...just give yourself enough time to heal from your last relationship...I think you've shown grace and maturity in this thread by the way
thanks Kitten!! :D and to the other lovely people who have replied. much love :)
xx | |
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