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 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 926
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You are Hot!!!Page 38 of 43    (3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43)

If you don't want to be called hot, don't make generalizations on what the guy is "really trying to do" when he says it. Have your problem with that sentence quietly. When you're running here making these claims, you're no better than the guys you're complaining about. If you have a problem with it, if you feel offended.... Keep it to yourself.

Here's a deal - we'll keep it to ourselves if you will. Not saying anything to us in the first place should nip the whole thing in the bud - no matter what you would have meant and how she would have taken it. And not many of us have a "problem" with it - that would take energy. We're simply saying we're aware in a lot of cases they are trying to open the door to something - whether it be conversation, a date, a phone number, sex, whatever.

This topic has made me realize that every single guy I have actually been interested in, initially focused on my brain.

Same here, and eventually they'd tell me they found me to be "hot" - but the physical aspect was part of the package, not the whole deal. Over coffee this morning the bf and I discussed this topic a little - and his response to the "you're hot" thing was that he didn't get the point of saying that in particular to a random woman as an articulation - it does reek of impersonal and kind of common. He did agree that giving a well spoken compliment to a woman a man finds attractive is a good thing as long as it's not an attempt to manipulate a desired outcome. We agreed that it's true that if a woman who's interested in you gets a compliment from you walking away won't really kill the process - she'll likely stop you, so go ahead and feel free to give a compliment for the sake of it.

But the OP wasn't talking about an opening line. In the OP she received the 'you're hot' message after talking to the other person for a while. I won't use it for a opening line either but at some point I will let someone I'm interested in know I find them sexually attractive.What exact words I use will depend on the person.

Agreed. I might be more interested to hear this from a guy I've already met and decided I liked. I'll never be offended by that comment really, more amused - but I'd be way more open to it and might even think it means something after talking to someone a few times in any medium.
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 927
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/21/2012 4:08:15 PM
Ok, how's this?

"Hello there. I just wanted you to know that I would do things to you that I wouldn't do to a farm animal."

Too subtle?
 prometheus1666
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 928
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/21/2012 4:15:50 PM
My line is this:

"when Im done with you.. youre gonna need stitches"

works every time... if I want to get slapped in the face:)
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 929
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/21/2012 8:46:12 PM

Here's a deal - we'll keep it to ourselves if you will. Not saying anything to us in the first place should nip the whole thing in the bud - no matter what you would have meant and how she would have taken it. And not many of us have a "problem" with it - that would take energy. We're simply saying we're aware in a lot of cases they are trying to open the door to something - whether it be conversation, a date, a phone number, sex, whatever.


The thing is, the people saying it aren't at fault. Technically it's nobody's fault, but you guys push everyone onto the person who says it.

Like I've said before, one person can take offense to it, while another person sees it as the greatest thing that's happened all day.

If you don't want people forcing you to change your opinion, don't try to change whether or not people will say it.

This is a two way road. You want one person to change, then either you change too, or neither of you change. If you don't want to be generalized, don't make generalizations of guys based on one sentence.
 Thomas_Andronicus
Joined: 6/17/2012
Msg: 930
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/21/2012 9:04:20 PM
Whenever I prepare to talk to a beautiful women I get "hot." I start sweating bullets on my forehead. My shirt gets drenched, my palms sweat and I start itching also. When I finally manage to stammer out, "you are hot," she's already in touch with the 911 dispatcher. There's nothing wrong with it except my approach.
 NVMinerMan
Joined: 6/2/2012
Msg: 931
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/21/2012 10:59:29 PM
40 pages and nothing thats worth putting in a fortune cookie yet
 Dan0777
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 932
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/21/2012 11:56:39 PM
You chat and text for a while and then they tell you you are hot? Before they meet you.. it seems to me you're at a point where they can start complimenting you? Unless it's the expression you don't like?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 933
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You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 5:04:32 AM

The thing is, the people saying it aren't at fault. Technically it's nobody's fault, but you guys push everyone onto the person who says it.

The person who says it is the person who starts an exchange with someone who wasn't asking for one. If you don't want someone to take you wrong when you throw out "you're hot", then don't say it. Appreciate hotness quietly. Try not to speak unless you're spoken to. That eliminates the risk of them taking you wrong - entirely.

Like I've said before, one person can take offense to it, while another person sees it as the greatest thing that's happened all day.

You keep forgetting all those in between who don't care either way and don't respond to you at all. That's the majority of the women in this thread. We'd yawn maybe...roll our eyes perhaps, but it's kind of a boring comment.

If you don't want people forcing you to change your opinion, don't try to change whether or not people will say it.

LOL...those who make it verbal START the interaction. From there the reaction is what it is. Women can't react to something that was never said. You'll never get many people to agree that a person who chooses to take it a step beyond appreciation and actually make a comment has no responsibility - while the person being spoken to does. Nope.

This is a two way road. You want one person to change, then either you change too, or neither of you change. If you don't want to be generalized, don't make generalizations of guys based on one sentence.

I don't care if anyone changes here - I'm simply calling it like it is. Guys who say "you're hot" to a woman they don't know are 9 out of 10 times NOT doing it just to kill time. There is a motive. Perhaps you're the 1 in many who does it for no particular reason at all - if so, that's you. It's not the majority, however. Those of us who have heard "you're hot" and thanked a person and kept going only to have them keep on talking know this from experience.

You were complaining about women taking it the wrong way. You can do one of two things to fix this:
1. You can stop making comments, or if you must run your mouth - choose better words.
2. You can accept that some women will take what you say the wrong way and go on with your life.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 934
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 5:18:52 AM

40 pages and nothing thats worth putting in a fortune cookie yet


"You will meet someone great today".

A little too cliché, huh?


I could only see finding a better opening line difficult if the person's vocabulary is extremely limited and his intelligence is nothing to write home about.


My thoughts exactly. I was actually once told this by a girl on the street, while exiting the gym. Replied a polite thank you and walked off of her "looking at you like a piece of steak" stare. I wish I could have returned the compliment to her...but usually those uttering said statement aren't particularly attractive to begin with. USUALLY; not all the time.
 xxx1974
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 935
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 5:25:06 AM
I think what op is talking about is the guys who say ur hot tend to be the ones out for ur body. I've read that when a guy really likes a girl they use the terms beautiful, pretty, gorgeous. But hot is usually used by men who just want to use u for sex and only have that on their minds. I've found it to be true also in my experience. So I don't like it either.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 936
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 8:22:02 AM
I think what op is talking about is the guys who say ur hot tend to be the ones out for ur body. I've read that when a guy really likes a girl they use the terms beautiful, pretty, gorgeous. But hot is usually used by men who just want to use u for sex and only have that on their minds. I've found it to be true also in my experience. So I don't like it either.


You are really pretty.

Also, I only want to bang you.

Your mind = BLOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm really ready to blame those magazines you girls read for this entire thread.

Here's the truth: When a guy likes a girl, we're ourselves. When a guy is only looking for sex, he says everything you want to hear... Ever notice how the guy who is PERFECT always ends up only wanting sex?
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 937
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 8:44:27 AM

Now we're "girl"s who get our "thoughts" from magazines.



Hehe, admit it though, you feel a bit flattered, kid
I dunno, personnally I have trouble calling women "a woman". I always refer to them as "girls". Even my grandma at 75 LOL.
Guess its a guy thing. Or maybe its just that I'm SOOO much more mature than all of you, so I can call everyone kid, kids
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 938
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 8:47:15 AM
Now we're "girl"s who get our "thoughts" from magazines.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH


hey, recently went on an all adult weekend to duluth with a bunch of friends and picked up a cosmo for kicks...


and the main article was 99 things you always wanted to know about sex...

question 86 was something I'd never thought to ask... but I will confess to all of a sudden burst out laughing out of the blue way too often since reading it because of that stupid question in that sutpid magazine; so right now that might be more literal than I would care to admit (the girl thing, though ; haven't been a girl in a LONG time) :)



VVV


You honestly want to know? ok, but it comes with a warning...

it wasn't the point of the question benig funny; it was who the heck would come up with the question OR the answer? They both struck me hysterically funny (though the weekend also came with a lot of beverage.. so maybe it was the combination of the two)

the question was is it possible to break a guy's uh, well, middle leg.

the answer was yes if a woman does some kind of sumo lap jump on him in the middle of sex...

do people frequently do sumo lap jumps on people to make them ask the question how to break a guy's uh middle leg? To this day I have that question pop in my head out of the blue and burst out laughing and can't say why; I get some strange looks ... (though a lot of it was memories of hysterical laughter with a bunch of other having had way more than a couple fellow adults I'm guessing. So probably had to be there to get the humor)
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 939
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 8:50:26 AM

question 86 was something I'd never thought to ask... but I will confess to all of a sudden burst out laughing out of the blue way too often since reading it because of that stupid question in that sutpid magazine; so right now that might be more literal than I would care to admit (the girl thing, though ; haven't been a girl in a LONG time) :)


Come on... you gotta share... what was the question?
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 940
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You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 10:38:24 AM
So what if one woman posted that she read something pertaining to this thread, and chose to share it? Is her opinion somehow less valid because you dismiss the source? She also posted:


I've found it to be true also in my experience.


Not surprising that her personal experience is dismissed. Pfffft.


I dunno, personnally I have trouble calling women "a woman". I always refer to them as "girls".


Ya know, intent has a LOT to do with it. Because you and I have interacted on the forums for a while, I don’t believe there is any disrespect meant coming from you.

Shockingly, women are not robots programmed to behave in ways determined by men, despite what porn’s been telling guys for years. We can usually tell when we are being disrespected, and guess what, some of us don’t like it.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 4/14/2012
Msg: 941
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 11:06:11 AM
Fleuron
I also believe a great many men take their cues from porn and are utterly baffled by women who do not respond as they should. Unfortunately we are increasing allow our little girls (and adult women) to also be influenced by porn and it is having an impact on how they also behave. I am still shocked at the number of men who totally understand super man can not fly THAT he is in fact acting BUT are baffled at the fact porn actress are ACTING...... hence the word actress.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 942
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 11:14:15 AM

Fleuron
I also believe a great many men take their cues from porn and are utterly baffled by women who do not respond as they should. Unfortunately we are increasing allow our little girls (and adult women) to also be influenced by porn and it is having an impact on how they also behave. I am still shocked at the number of men who totally understand super man can not fly THAT he is in fact acting BUT are baffled at the fact porn actress are ACTING...... hence the word actress.


No, not even close.

The truth is you're not the only opinion in the world.

I know it's hard to believe, but there's actually women out there who will tell you that the first thing you should ever do is complement a woman on how she looks.

It has nothing to do with porn or anything like that... it's the reality that just not everyone agrees with you.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 943
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 11:24:31 AM
Ya know, intent has a LOT to do with it. Because you and I have interacted on the forums for a while, I don’t believe there is any disrespect meant coming from you.



Haha, no there isn't ;-) I just find it funny when I call an older women girly, tell her she looks beautifull today, and she replies to me with this confident, womanish smile trying to hide JUST the hint of a blush on her cheeks. Works with my grandma everytime. But I guess the meanning is different in french than in english. I call everyone "Fille".
I dunno if you ever watched Passe-Partout, but there's this whole trend of calling women like that because of a character called Fardoche, and I kind of grew into it lol "Salut, Fille!"


YAY!!! seems we have another successful programing of a woman to make her think she is not being programmed to think or act exactly how we determined for her...lol... sorry couldn't resist


Have you ever thought about it the other way around? MEN are being programmed to make them believe that they can actually fool a woman into thinking she is NOT programmed to think or act exactly how men programmed them to.....and men are being programmed that by WOMEN for just about since the beginning of time.
Speechless, arent ya? ;-)
 Dreamer_in_SC
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 944
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 11:30:27 AM

Shockingly, women are not robots programmed to behave in ways determined by men


YAY!!! seems we have another successful programing of a woman to make her think she is not being programmed to think or act exactly how we determined for her...lol... sorry couldn't resist
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 945
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You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 11:45:37 AM
DallasSBF :

I just agreed with you on another thread, how coincidental. :)

I think it’s a sort of mass self-delusion….similar to why guys tell obvious, outrageous sex lies to each other yet always believe them. “Maybe there’s hope for me yet…if he’s getting some maybe I will, too,’ syndrome. If a guy wants to wank on himself as a lifestyle I say go for it and stay the hell away from me.

One on one men I’ve known (though not necessarily had sex with) have been insecure in their manhood, and their penises. I would imagine degrading and demeaning women somehow makes some men feel better about their perceived inadequacies.

I think most women are capable of being supreme actresses.

I’ve recognized long ago the societal divide and conquer attitudes toward women, and the utter fear that fuels it. We are scary powerful, aren’t we?


YAY!!! seems we have another successful programing of a woman to make her think she is not being programmed to think or act exactly how we determined for her...lol... sorry couldn't resist


Hahaha……yeah. I might consider that for half a second if I believed (some) men could think beyond their next beer and wankfest.

Interesting theory, Capn. : )


she replies to me with this confident, womanish smile trying to hide JUST the hint of a blush on her cheeks.


You’re a sweetheart, mi amore :)
 pop56
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 946
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You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 3:35:33 PM
It's safe to compliment their shoes. But any more than that is just inviting trouble.
 UkSammie
Joined: 11/6/2008
Msg: 947
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You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 3:37:50 PM
I fin d it a compliment if someone finds me sexually attractive.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 948
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You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 3:39:56 PM
^^ Even when that's all they seem to focus on?
 UkSammie
Joined: 11/6/2008
Msg: 949
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You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 3:45:39 PM
Well obv not when they put sexy or whatever in every sentence.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 950
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You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/22/2012 4:30:10 PM

fleuron
One on one men I’ve known (though not necessarily had sex with) have been insecure in their manhood, and their penises. I would imagine degrading and demeaning women somehow makes some men feel better about their perceived inadequacies.


I don't want to put words into your mouth, so to clarify your statement.

Are you saying every single man you have known is "insecure in their manhood, and their penises"? Every single one of them, never met a one who wasn't?

I'll wait for an answer before commenting further.
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