| | What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?Page 3 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | People "sometimes" lie about who they are on the net? Holy bejesus Batman! Assume everyone is lying, go up from there. As far as doing a background check, I suppose if a person were to become serious about a relationship, I'd say it's a good idea. I suppose if I were a woman meeting some guy alone in a dark alley, I'd do a background check. One easy way to determine if a person is legit, ask to speak to friends and family, if they can't produce any, Houston, we have a problemo. | |
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 6/21/2012 11:00:00 AM | | You know this is starting to sound like work. I date for fun and don't want to worry about someone's back ground unless i am getting very serious. I generally trust people having found out that that nut cases don't hold it together for too long. This pertains to people met in social settings (bars,single groups, chuch,etc.) whom I have found tend to be as nutty as anyone met on the Web. | |
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 6/23/2012 4:40:19 PM | | @socalcitycat- I'm a sole-parent of my lovely 9yo daughter..there's no way I'd put her in harms way because of some much-needed, mommy-time! Lol I've never ordered a background check on anyone, however, Sir Google has done a fabulous job at alerting me of the crazies. ;) | |
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 6/25/2012 8:45:28 AM | This is the reason I stick to dating people I meet IRL. Most guys I meet are friends of friends and such. But if you think about it, doesn't mean that I should trust or that I know them! I think you need to do what's right for you:). Maybe you need to try going out with a group, if this makes you more comfortable. Let's say you go on a second date and you want to go out dancing, have your friends be near by, and it's up to you if you want to tell him they are there;)
P.s. it doesn't have to be night time for a potential pycho to attack.. Just saying! | |
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 6/25/2012 12:23:33 PM | I've never done a background check, nor would I meet someone I thought I should.
Regardless, it takes time to build trust. Don't open yourself up for potential risk. Keep your children, finances and personal information from strangers. Whether you meet them IRL or on here. | |
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 6/26/2012 10:46:16 PM | | Google is your friend. I tend to attract the crazies :( I would guess in this day and age it is prudent to be careful. If you have kids and worry about their safety then I could see a point but doing a backgroumd check before meeting seems creepy. Now maybye if you are planning to move in or get serious and you have yet to meet a single of his friends. Interisting topic. Just search his pic. Btw not all crimes arr serious issues. What if the poor **stard went to jail for something dumb. Idk at least be upfront about it. | |
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 10/3/2012 12:12:24 PM | Even if one can't afford to do a full background check (including criminal history), one can still do such things as search for them via Google. For me, that yielded one situation where I actually cancelled the date -- after I found the phone number a woman gave me appeared on several escort web sites (i.e. she was a prostitute). Her PoF profile didn't even hint at such. Remember that searching doesn't mean just the name. Phone numbers should definently be included.
Also, I had an acquaintance/client in the 1990's who got canned from a job unexpectedly. It turns out that someone with a similar name (same first and last, but different middle name) and age had a felony record, and his employer didn't notice the different middle name and fired him anyway. He did sue for wrongful termination. My point: Even if you turn up something by name, you need to make certain that you have the correct person. | |
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 10/11/2012 9:07:56 AM | post59
I found the phone number a woman gave me appeared on several escort web sites (i.e. she was a prostitute). Her PoF profile didn't even hint at such.
some prostitutes use and drop phone numbers to leave no trace... maybe your date ended up with a recycle phone number!! You think like a chick... you're scared to meet a "possible" slut?? Did she have D cups? can you give me her number and pics.... I'll give her a try!! I'll be your Cleopatra's taster! I'll take the risk for you and let you know! lololo
if she was HOT, You could have met her, and ask! ... if she was not...then no "forgetaboutit" no big loss! LOL Dammm never close your option like that ... be a MAN! just f%^ng with ya!
My landline phone number used to belong to the "fish broiler" restaurant.... I used to get calls for almost 12 years... "are you still open?- do you deliver?".... between the Donelley directory, Pac Bell yellow pages phone book, and united yellow phone book that kept OLD obsolete numbers to be able to justify to their "potential customers" that they had a GREAT a thicker Yellow pages BOOK! than the competitor! The fish broiler is still out there on the web... and 14 yrs later I get a call once per yr or so!
Dont be calling me now and leave nasty hate messages! I only take orders, and promise to deliver between now... and xmas!
just to show that the info you got, might have been obsolete!
Do you still have her number.. I'll take one for the team! lol
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 10/11/2012 11:56:24 AM | RE: ^ - It wasn't a recycled phone number. One of those "other profiles" had been updated in the past 30 days, and even recycled cell numbers are supposed to be out of commission for the first 60 days after the prior holder dropped service. Also, when I confronted her to cancel, she admitted the existence of these other profiles (and the $200/hr rate) and agreed to cancel. She was lucky in that I was no longer in law enforcement and didn't otherwise piss me off (else I would have reported her). As far as giving you the phone number, I cannot condone breaking the law.
PS: Landline numbers (except ACs 800 and 900, and prefix 976) are supposed to be inactive for a full 365 days before being eligible for reassignment. | |
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 10/16/2012 9:58:01 PM | | well its your money. for a women maybe a great ideal. i don't think anyone would be terribly offended unless they had something to hide. if i were you i do a few dates in the daylight and meet them there, so you have an avenue of escape. as in the car business always leave yourself an out. personally if we're not laughing and having fun, it doesn't matter your background cause i wouldn't be back. look at it this way how many people do you work with, would you spend $20-$30 to do a background check on. why not? they were all once strangers to you. i wish you safe dating. | |
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 10/20/2012 11:13:01 AM | I have a GF that even before meeting for the first time gets enough info out of them to run checks. To me that is extreme. I just had someone ask me out (off line) and he said he just checked me out fully and even told me where I live and who some of my family members were. I told him take a hike.
I don't want someone I date to know where I live until it may be going somewhere and I've learned more about him. I do this from a past stalker experience that didn't end until he died in a car crash and no I didn't stage it. :P
If he doesn't have friends then there is a problem. | |
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 10/20/2012 11:39:24 AM | I've read posts about people being offended when they are googled. Most people are private, and googling them or doing a background check is a dealbreaker. Honestly, I never even considered googling someone until I read about it in the forums. After that I googled a few people (that I knew and from POF--and myself) just for fun. I'm apparently not good enough with the computer to find out much, although I did see an image of my own house.
The person who mentioned dating a registered sex offender--I don't see a problem with searching someone's name in Meagan's Law, especially if you have kids.
Really, and I'm speaking from experience here, the best thing to do is date longterm. Don't get married before your really know someone and have met their friends and family. Character can't be judged by a background check--even if the person turns out to be clean. And, some people just don't get caught. | |
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 10/20/2012 12:08:57 PM | I think this boils down to two traits that many people seem to lack; good judgement and common sense. People out themselves by their actions (most of the time), but people refuse, are unwilling or have no common sense to see what is really before them. Additionally, people invite people into the "inner circle" of their lives too soon; again lacking good judgement and common sense.
As far as it pertains to the Megan's Law search, I look at it often because I have a child, so I'd spot someone immediately...and I have. Not someone I dated, but someone who moved into our neighborhood and was at our community pool. He disappeared very quickly when the angry mob of mothers went after him at the pool shortly after my discovery. Even if I had not recognized him, his behavior outted him for not being quite so right. | |
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 12/15/2012 5:50:33 PM | It helps to study up before you do a back ground check... understanding the language of the proceedings and the characteristics needed for for a convictions as well as the DA's record for over charging in the juristiction Most on line back ground checks are vague at best. It's easy for a novice to fail to cross referance the penal code and confuse public urination with child sexual abuse as both will land you on the sex register but are completely different in intent. Perhaps hiring a detective is a more logical choice.... Or getting a degree that allows you to understand how charges can be plead and /or wobbled in Ca....
My best advice stay away from private meetings, don't hand out personal info or cash, and keep your children away from your dates and or friends... TRUST IS EARNED...you as well as anyone could lose it. There is a lot to be said for mitigating.... | |
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 12/16/2012 7:31:34 AM | PENAL CODE
SECTION 240-248
240. An assault is an unlawful attempt, coupled with a present
ability, to commit a violent injury on the person of another.
241. (a) An assault is punishable by a fine not exceeding one
thousand dollars ($1,000), or by imprisonment in the county jail not
exceeding six months, or by both the fine and imprisonment.
In Ca we have the wobbler which allows a DA to turn the placing of a hand to the shoulder and the words---
I want to kick your ass---to a felony and in some cases a life sentence.....More wobblers are charged up Mis to fel then charged down.... | |
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JJTall
| | Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 70 | |
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 12/16/2012 1:11:17 PM | RE: #68 -
who or "what" are you people running into out there? Well, the woman who ended up trying to extort me had books mentioning my father by name, and I'm not talking about generic books like "Who's who in America?" (although he's in that too). Talk about stalking (but not in the legal sense).
RE: #69/70 - This is why California has too many lawyers! | |
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 12/19/2012 3:16:38 PM | I agree with others its usually too little too late & very intrusive.We all have read stories about folks behind bars for life in case's of mistaken identity,the risk seems even greater here for gathering false n misleading records on a person to some degree.A single difference in the spelling of a name,or any other sort of error could cause flase information to be given that could ruin stuff for tht person being subjected to such inquiry.If one was truly concerned I would leave it to a reputable firm that handles such work,and still take whatever they say with a good dose of salt!
Lawyers serve a purpose like any other function in our society,they just think there better than everyone else,cause they have the law on their side roflmao | |
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| What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 4/10/2013 2:21:59 AM | | I don't think there's anything wrong with making sure you're gonna be safe when meeting someone from a dating site IRL. I won't go to the extent of paying for background check sites. However, I also googled a guy from pof and found out he's a registered sex offender. I don't have any kids, but nevertheless that is not someone I would want to date. | |
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