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| | Decent MenPage 4 of 8 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) | I think she means decent as in Dictionnaire decent; well behaved, well mannered, respectful, etc...
Not everyone ALWAYS talk about sex. I notice on the forums it's like always the 2nd or 3rd post someone makes an approach towards sex. Like I always say, we live in a hyper-sexual, practically pornographic, society...... | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 7:10:41 AM |
Damn skippy they DO exist!And when we women stop being too picky,lower the bar to a realistic level,consider our own baggage,ask ourselves why we choose the emotionally unavailables,the stuck up's,the ego-maniacs,the sex seekers,the Indecent characterless fools,then we can clear the field of vision and find ourselves healthy,loving, sincere men who can love the sh*t outta us.....flaws and all!
We date at the level of our self-esteem. Your relationship is a direct reflection of your own self-love and self-worth.
Think about that the next time you find yourself discontent with your choice in men.
I think some of us women tend to want it "all"and are not willing to consider men who aren't up to our standards and choose "indecent men" because of it.Men with Character tend to not be the BEST looking ones,the most HUNG one's,the RICHEST ones,the SEXIEST one's, the most emotionally available ones, let alone the one's who seek out committed relationships.....you get my point.
Compromise IS the name of the game when it comes to finding the GOOD ONES!!!!
Consider the reality that we are FAR from perfect and shouldn't expect the same from our men!
This bears repeating!!!! Truer words have not been spoken!! | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 7:14:33 AM |
If 'decent' mean's a man who isn't sexual until YOU say so......then you're just controlling and off base in thinking what you want is more important than what a man wants.
Dear God woman, why are you not already scheduling seminars to educate your fellow gendermates? It's very enlightening to see someone actually get what we have been trying to say. | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 7:20:03 AM |
Its probably 1 out of 100 who knows how to treat a woman. Now that I think about it, Ive NEVER known a 100% respectful man. They all had something that was just apathetic, detached,abrasive, neglectful physically or emotionally, unreasonable, judgementally sexist, disrespectful or chauvinist about them. Thats why I cant really stand a lot of men OP, I think you should totally buy into this bs. Then, as you find every relationship fails, if you ever even get as far as a relationship, you will realize it is all about them and not you.
There are plenty of good men, but expecting to find plenty of them online or in bars -- as someone has said: you're looking in all the wrong places. | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 7:33:53 AM | Oh great.....Don't say that,I will be on the "hit list" sooner than later! lol
I just know men and myself better than I used to is all.Believe me,I know it's not any easier for men to find love and sex than it is for women! Especially when so many men before you have hurt the women, who's valid opinions in this thread, have become so jaded.
Not all men are the same is my motto.You just can NOT lump them all into one "sleazy good, for nothing" category.No more than men should do that towards women.
Wisdom comes with age,and from making the same mistakes over and over again and expecting different results and finally learning from them and changing your thinking and choices!!!
We ALL want to think we are "worthy of more" than we might possibly have to offer.I think it's human nature.
But really when you stop acting entitled to the BEST of everything and start being real,life seems less unfair and love finds open hearts alot more easily than judgemental,controlling,bitter,fearful or jaded ones.
The decent ones at heart are the one's you look right past because they don't meet your ideals.
If people truly want LOVE....stop being so shallow.
My guy is not tall,not built like a brick sh*t house,not rich,not hung,not a pretty boy,doesn't have all his hair or all his teeth for that matter,but he IS filled with love,empathy,sincerity,honesty,trustworthiness,and all the things that make a man a MAN to me!
Find someone with some depth of character and the ability to give and take fairly and realize that is DECENCY.Everything else is GRAVY! | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 7:34:02 AM |
Are batteries included??
Batteries are always extra.
Why do people come on here, making rants/whines about their own individual choices, and blame it on a gender?
OP..your picker is broke. Re-evaluate your choices in life.
Stop telling us good guys are not out there. We are. | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 7:38:05 AM | You poor thing, been here a week and already you are complaining about how nice it would be to find a decent man.
I have come to one conclusion, I am the one continuous factor in all of these relationship issues.
Even a broken clock is right 2x a day. | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 7:48:27 AM | | I just wanted to let you know that I have been on this site for 3 years off and on. I use to have that problem when I would chat with potentials. First the conversation begin with friendly gestures and comments. A couple with which I had good conversations with. Then their ultimate intentions come out, "The sex conversation." I immediately end all. That turned me away from th site. Then when I return the same issues occurred often. At times I would get frustrated and snappy. Then I took a look at my profile and decided to state " please no conversations referencing to sex" I want to meet a man who has much more to offer. I even said that I was abstinant. However, that only caused some men to be even more rude. But one day it was this one particular man who decided to respond to my page and every day we would have good conversations about any and everything but sex. We connected so well. We talked for 6 months. Upgraded to texting and then talking on the phone. This had been the third time I had ever given anyone my phone number off line. Still no conversation about sex, just getting to know each other. We talked every day since the first day he responded to my page. So we decided to meet. That's the first time I ever met anyone off line. I can explain the connection we had. It was as if we known each other for years. And boy was he handsome, very handsome. That was over a year and a half ago. From that day forward we talk everyday multiple times a day. And on June we will be getting married. We are in fact made for each other. My point is anything can happen. A diamond can be in the rough for you. So examine your page, make changes, pick and choose who is worthy enough for you. You never know what may come in the future. Good luck | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 7:52:47 AM | | think women only appricate decent guys when they older, met badboys/bullshitters/scumbags by then. but problem is by this point most women have acculmated what i call headbaggage/what you call issues/let past effect future relationships.with out you telling me what" type" guy you go for cant comment(im available for private advice everyone+ i dont charge lol).well done for realising it your choice in men/ your the common de-nominator.we live in world of instant gratification/results,need to use brain,slow down. hope this helps | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 7:54:03 AM | | And to add if a man has to brag about his sexual performance then it must not be that great. He's very insecure. So if that's all his conversation is about then that's a red flag for issues and problems. | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 7:59:29 AM |
I just wanted to let you know that I have been on this site for 3 years off and on. I use to have that problem when I would chat with potentials. First the conversation begin with friendly gestures and comments. A couple with which I had good conversations with. Then their ultimate intentions come out, "The sex conversation." I immediately end all. That turned me away from th site. Then when I return the same issues occurred often. At times I would get frustrated and snappy. Then I took a look at my profile and decided to state " please no conversations referencing to sex" I want to meet a man who has much more to offer. I even said that I was abstinant. However, that only caused some men to be even more rude. But one day it was this one particular man who decided to respond to my page and every day we would have good conversations about any and everything but sex. We connected so well. We talked for 6 months. Upgraded to texting and then talking on the phone. This had been the third time I had ever given anyone my phone number off line. Still no conversation about sex, just getting to know each other. We talked every day since the first day he responded to my page. So we decided to meet. That's the first time I ever met anyone off line. I can explain the connection we had. It was as if we known each other for years. And boy was he handsome, very handsome. That was over a year and a half ago. From that day forward we talk everyday multiple times a day. And on June we will be getting married. We are in fact made for each other. My point is anything can happen. A diamond can be in the rough for you. So examine your page, make changes, pick and choose who is worthy enough for you. You never know what may come in the future. Good luck
So your manipulation and mechanization worked for you. Congratulations on landing the Beta!
edit:
not a requirement.
The continuation of the human species would beg to differ. | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 8:19:49 AM | | Dude, you have to speak for yourself, and no-one else. There is no 'need' for sex at all, at least not for me or any of my friends, or anyone I know. It's not a 'need', oxygen is a need, food is a need, sex is an 'optional activity', not a requirement. | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 8:40:12 AM |
I just wanted to let you know that I have been on this site for 3 years off and on. I use to have that problem when I would chat with potentials. First the conversation begin with friendly gestures and comments. A couple with which I had good conversations with. Then their ultimate intentions come out, "The sex conversation." I immediately end all. That turned me away from th site. Then when I return the same issues occurred often. At times I would get frustrated and snappy. Then I took a look at my profile and decided to state " please no conversations referencing to sex" I want to meet a man who has much more to offer. I even said that I was abstinant. However, that only caused some men to be even more rude. But one day it was this one particular man who decided to respond to my page and every day we would have good conversations about any and everything but sex. We connected so well. We talked for 6 months. Upgraded to texting and then talking on the phone. This had been the third time I had ever given anyone my phone number off line. Still no conversation about sex, just getting to know each other. We talked every day since the first day he responded to my page. So we decided to meet. That's the first time I ever met anyone off line. I can explain the connection we had. It was as if we known each other for years. And boy was he handsome, very handsome. That was over a year and a half ago. From that day forward we talk everyday multiple times a day. And on June we will be getting married. We are in fact made for each other. My point is anything can happen. A diamond can be in the rough for you. So examine your page, make changes, pick and choose who is worthy enough for you. You never know what may come in the future. Good luck
I think it's a great story. What the other guy calls manipulation I call stating what YOU want. Different licks for different kicks (arg, whatever the HELL the english expression is lol), you wanted something specific, got something specific and it worked for you. I figure if half the people in here acted that way instead of sex-crazed starving one night gang-bangers, people would have a much better luck ratio. But hell, in today's society, sex is the ONLY thing people care about, besides money. SO to say you wrote abstinent on your profile is akin to saying "I'm an evil biatch who will manipulate anything or anyone".
I say to hell with that. You state what you want, you get what you want, and for those that don't agree or critique, they can prove the opposite by doing better. Nice!  | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 8:46:40 AM | There is no 'need' for sex at all,sex is an 'optional activity', not a requirement.
And you should speak for yourself.I think most people here,both men and women see sex as a need to be fulfilled. No one said it was an immediate requirement,but you can't tell me that you would marry a woman without having sex with her first, with a straight face,or go for months on end without having sex when "she" says it's ok.
Even as a woman,I can honestly say that sex was a requirement for me before I expended too much time on someone I might be sexually incompatible with and I didn't ever even intend on getting married.
I consider a decent man to be one who actually cares about me and my feelings before,during and after we have sex.(But when it happens is up to us both.(not just me).
That is my one main requirement.Other than that.....no matter how indifferent some women seem towards sex,
they need it too.They just want to be the one who "allows" it to happen instead of having it pushed on them at every turn.
But hell, in today's society, sex is the ONLY thing people care about, besides money.
Oh come ON....no it's not.It's one of many things that help a relationship bloom. | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 9:49:33 AM |
Oh come ON....no it's not.It's one of many things that help a relationship bloom.
True. Like a lot of my posts, if you take things seperately I sound funny. A relationship is all inclusive, as are most of my comments. However, most of the time, especially on the internet where its easier to spot, sex stops becoming a natural side effect, so to say, of a relationship, to become a main concern. WORSE, it becomes a priority for a lot of people. It IS an essential part of a relationship, but it should not become the main concern of the relationship, nor the focus. And sadly, more and more, that's what is happenning. Why do most people cheat? For sex. What are people less happy about being with someone more than 6 months? The sex. What is the one of the first red flag for ladies and men in a relationship? Bad sex. What would make you stop dating a guy right away? For some people, if he's broke it's not bad, if he's not that great looking, can deal with it. But bad sex, or no sex?
Come on, let's be frank; it's a FOCUS. We get bombarded every day with messages and ideas with sexual undertones, in magazines, in the news, on the radio. Sitcoms, talks shows, stand up comedians, yadda yadda...people are so USED to seeing sex everywhere, they don't even stop 2 seconds to think about it. But there ARE other things to a relationship, that are more important in my views. In fact, once love is in a relationship, once the expectations and the excitement sets in, RARELY does sex suck.
A lot of guys start dating a girl, put pressure on her to put out, then after sleeping with them and date #3 has gone by, the guy is gone. Why? Because END GOAL was achieved; before Feminism we had to work for it, or worse, marry for it. A lot of things have changed, I'm over simplifying and vulgarising a LOT of things, but bottom line is, sex in today's society in my view has overshadowed ALL the other things that used to take precedence in a relationship. Trust, building of mutual boundaries and interests, communication, you name it. None of it happens....unless the sex is good. Which is important, but should NOT be the main focus. Even bad sex can get better, but how can you know after only 1 time? Knew this girl, dated a guy almost 10 years. He dumped her. But at first, sex was HORRIBLE. She told me so. I told her give it a chance. It became GREAT, she said, and thanked me...
So, anyways, I stand by my point. Might not be the case for you dear, but you are not everyone on Earth, just like I'm not. But for a LOT of people, it's a main focus. And it shouldnt be that way, not when it takes precedence over everything else. | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 10:04:45 AM | " But one day it was this one particular man who decided to respond to my page and every day we would have good conversations about any and everything but sex. We connected so well. We talked for 6 months. Upgraded to texting and then talking on the phone. This had been the third time I had ever given anyone my phone number off line. Still no conversation about sex, ..."
5 Questions come to mind....
When are you getting Married ?
When was this man neutered ?
What ELSE do you need to control in a relationship ?
For your Honeymoon, have YOU Dictated a very exciting night of SLEEPING ?
Have you selected, and named TWO separate beds... one is named MINE, and the other is named GO AWAY ? | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 10:34:53 AM | forget all the part-time philosophizers and their "sounds good, so I'll post it" theories.
Your picker may only be brokoen if you're only selecting with your eyes, rather than a combination of what you see + taking the time to get a feel for the person BEFORE you make a final decision with your heart/mind.
We are all guilty at some point if not more frequently of leading with our wants(hearts) and totally duct taping our brains when it comes to finding someone of the opposite sex to date or be involved with. So don't beat yourself up about it, just put YOU in a higher priority and don't budge on what you want/need from a partner...but take the time to find it before you just open your heart right away.
In the world today, there are waaaaay too many influences against a good moral fiber - dumb dating reality shows, mtv in general, Housewives of _____fill in the blank, exploitation of kids(sports/acting/singers/beauty pageants etc - yes even if its what the kid wants to do). Its all about the fast score - be it in finance or relationships. Also keep in mind that if some women didn't respond agreeably to these types of guys then you might not have the problem currently. Stick to your guns and don't stop trying | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 10:42:38 AM | What the heck is a decent man?
Whatever/whoever they are, my take is that they don't exist. | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 10:58:57 AM | There are a lot of decent people all over and on POF. It's about honest and that is defiantly lacking in men and women on these sites.
If a guy say I want only sex as often as I need it then he is a decent honest person. If a guy pretends to want commitment but it a ruse then he is dishonest.
If you're young and attractive as you are, and still can't find a "decent" man then it's up to you to educate yourself on relationships and their dynamics as you are doing:) | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 11:05:50 AM | At sighNoMore
Saying it's clear there is a war on women puts you in a classification that would turn all intelligent men totally off because of the silly characterization. I would say how is that working for you but you have already told us.
1 of 100 that know how to treat a woman? Wow you must be a child or hang with the wrong crowd. | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 11:14:06 AM | | remember you are on pof what do you expect. or how about just looking me up. i am a decent guy just tring to find a decent woman that appreciates a guy who works pays the bills etc. I dont want high maintence, sponges etc been there done that | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 11:21:48 AM | For the record the world has gone crazy eons ago, it's now that people are more self centered and arrogant than ever.
But props on already Being ahead of the crowd for realizing the common denominator. Now here's the secret you can pick all the different(what is different to you, hair, shoes skin color ???) type of guys you want and we will fall into the same basic personality and character traits. You need to realize which ones you've been attracted to and why? Reminds you of daddy, never had a daddy so he's fulfilling, reminds you of a big brother, to may to list and then you need to recognize the traits you haven't pursued. Most people are attracted to people they are most familiar with. People who Remind them of an ex, close friend or family.WHICH IS WHY ALL THE GUYS SEEM THE SAME. We do this on a subconscience level and we need to master our selves. It's deep, it's a challenge and most give up so most stay in the same comfort zone.
GET A BODY LANGUAGE BOOK AND YOU'll LEARN MAJIC.
The chooseyourAngle.com guy | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 11:24:32 AM | | Remember, physical attraction is a great stepping stone...but as soon as people act in a way that you cannot accept, you need to tell them and if that particular behaviour continues, they have to be rejected. If you do not define your boundaries from the get go, you will always be one step behind and feeling resentful. There are tons of decent people...men and women out there. Many of them are even attractive! I know, because I am dating one myself. But it did take time to find him and I had to weed out a lot of men not at all compatible to me, even though I thought they were cute physically. You only have to 'settle' if you are in a rush to settle down. | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 11:59:25 AM | I have been on POF for almost 3 years. I have found that most men want someone to talk dirty with and they think nothing of asking sexual questions . They seem to forget that there is more to finding out about each other than just the what we will or won't do in the bedroom? You would think they would what to know what are interests are. Instead of jumping to that subject first.
I honestly think that the dating site can be good but most men treat it like shopping at a candy store. They find one they want to sample and then a few weeks later it's let's try someone new. It's not you girl, it's just they figure there are so many women and so little time. Or why stick with this lady when the next one will be better of more fun. | |
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| Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 12:12:25 PM | I'm sorry,but at 65..I can only HOPE someone still wants to have sex with me!
You only have to 'settle' if you are in a rush to settle down.
Compromising and settling are two different things.But hey,play it your way.
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