| | Are men really willing to wait for sex?Page 10 of 17 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17) |
So then are you advocating rape...?
Fallacy: Ad Hominem
Everyone has the ability to change the process with the BINARY decision to just walk away. I know that you read and understood the post you quoted because you removed the context that would disprove your ad hominem rhetoric.
Anyone who thinks they have to "wait for sex" or that the woman is "holding out" or "playing games" is just making excuses for their own inadequacy....
Fallacy: Post Hoc
You cannot substantiate that anyone is making excuses and are now just flinging insults. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 5/13/2012 10:27:52 PM |
That is unbelievably naive. Giving one party total control over any aspect of a relationship is asking for trouble. Even more so when that aspect is one of the most important.
It's not her innate right to decide the pace of intimacy. Well, she has the same binary right that you do; yes or no, but after she decides that she is going to sleep with you, she doesn't decide the pace.
We've gotten ourselves into a big social mess by perpetuating the myth that a woman is the gatekeeper of sex.
well, since I am the one who posted the original "I let her decide how far and how fast it goes." back on page 1 of this thread, I guess it's time I weighed in again.
Please go back and read what I put on the first page. Better yet, I'll make it easy for you...
I was willing to wait. I told my lady that how far, how fast and how long our relationship went was her call.
We saw each other every day for over a month before it happened and I was willing to wait longer. But we were napping together one afternoon, she woke up and decided she was ready and jumped me.
It happens when it happens and yes, there are men willing to wait. A lasting relationship isn't about sex, it's about intimacy. Finding someone worth waking up with, not someone to sleep with.
A lasting relationship is about intimacy. Not sex. Intimacy. You can be intimate with out sexual intercourse. Since intimacy is the important part, I made sure to show plenty of it. Holding hands, a kiss or nuzzle when she least expected it. But for the sex part, why shouldn't the woman dictate when it happens? To be totally blunt, you are putting a part of your body INSIDE of her. She is accepting into her body a part of you. Of course she has to be ready for that. And you as the man should be aware of it. It can be, and usually is in my experience, a very emotional thing and pushing an emotion can only lead to trouble.
And of course, if for some reason you are not ready when she is, you can say no as well. It's not about who the "gatekeeper" is, it is about respecting each other. Now, I am no longer seeing that lady, she decided she wasn't ready for a relationship since she has too much going on with her family. She ended it. Someday when her family turmoil subsides, I hope she can find a man who will treat her as well as I did, as well as she deserves. But I intend to tell any other ladies I start to date the same thing. How far, how fast and how long it lasts is her call. Because I'm in no hurry and I am willing to wait for sex. I am not willing to wait indefinitely for some kind of intimacy, because that is what a relationship is about, but I can and will wait for sex. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 5/20/2012 1:54:55 AM | | I saw a girl on ehre tosday whose profile said she did NOT want a relationship and did NOT want to end up having sex. I'm sure a ton of guys will be wanting that type of situation where it's obviously going nowhere in any way possible. lol | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 5/20/2012 2:51:58 AM | | Wait months for sex? Oh no. If I really like/love her that much then I also want to make love to her. Its part of bonding. Its the best feeling in the world so why waste your one life waiting on it? I don't go out looking to get laid. If it happens then it happens bc we got along real good and the chemistry was just right. I couldn't date more than 4 or 5 times and not unless I just wasn't attracted to her and we were just dinner companions. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 5/20/2012 7:54:18 PM | Is this a theoretical question?
I've had sex with perhaps 20 females in my long life. Not exactly a stud as that works out to only one every 2 years since my first time. I can't recall 'waiting' more than 2 or 3 weeks before we 'did it'. (except the first time as neither of us knew 'how' to do it). Who exactly are all of these females that are making guys wait? I've dated virginal Catholic school girls, atheists, prudes, etc. and no woman has ever put a 'timer' on her chastity belt that opens the door after 'x' months.
Then again, I've only had sex with a woman I consider my new 'girlfriend' . I've never had 'casual' sex...not even in hippy days or when I was in a band. I suppose the women I've known as 'just friends' have been making me wait for over 40 years. Now it's too late if they all give me the green light as I'd never cheat on my gal. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 5/20/2012 8:55:14 PM |
I couldn't date more than 4 or 5 times and not unless I just wasn't attracted to her and we were just dinner companions.
True. What exactly after a few dates and you feel exclusive that is going to make it 'now, it's ok' . A rainbow appears in the sky? The Beatles are reunited?
If I loved a woman, I'd certainly wait until she was comfortable but I'd hope it was some rational decision on her part and not just 'I'm not ready'. I need a woman who enjoys and craves sex. She wants to hop my bones as much as I do hers....a woman who rations it out just ends up being a frustration in bed after the initial mating period is over. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 5/21/2012 8:48:13 AM | | I'm in my mid-30's and although I think it's certainly rare, I do think there are men who will wait. I mean honestly, a month of dating actually goes pretty quick depending how often you see eachother... and if a guy can't wait that long, he's obviously not interested in a "serious" way. That's my take at least. I've waited 2 months, I see no issue with that. I think it's actually healthier to wait than to just jump in bed right away. I'm old fashioned though and a bit shy about sex myself, so that plays a roll too. Food for thought. Best of luck. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 5/21/2012 11:43:54 AM |
You cannot substantiate that anyone is making excuses and are now just flinging insults
Those that know my posts, know I tend to strive to NOT insult people...
That then implies that I was not insulting you...
However, my OPINION that it's "making excuses" still stands... Had not realised that you would not discern that I was referring to my opinion, without me having to spell it out....
Everyone has the ability to change the process with the BINARY decision to just walk away.
Realistically, there are more than 2 options, therefore it's not a BINARY decision....
Thanks for playing.... | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 5/21/2012 10:27:47 PM | Am I willing to wait for sex. I cannot speak for ALL men...but I can speak for myself. Not if its a time frame. I don't like putting a number on anything...esp something that involves someone. It could happen the 1st few dates, a couple of months, whatever. But if it happens I'm not going to stop and say "we agreed to wait ____ weeks before we have sex"
Nor am I going to "expect" sex by the ____ date. I just don't like numbers and time period. I'm rather spontanous and random...If we are both in "the mood" and the time is right...do it...
OP: I cannot compare a whole "lot" of people based on one. It's like getting a bad pizza from somewhere and never eating a pizza again from anywhere...even if you made it yourself. I like to try new things to be honest...I'm almost like Andrew Zimmer, I try it twice before I decide if I don't like it. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:08:04 PM | | Me ? ... if we are not nekked in-the-bed by the 3rd date ... there will NOT be a 4th. Now sex does not have to take place .... I am a very disciplined guy !! | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/12/2012 8:04:26 PM | | Ok I posted somewhere something similar so I'm just going to repeat myself again since I'm in early 30s n looking for possible future mr right I'm just going to say this much. Considering that we r talking about a girl that u want to have some kind of long committed relationship which one u would prefer the one that has some moral values m respect for herself n does not sleep with u until she get to know u a lil about u or one who jumps to bed with u one second date n god knows how many man she did it with. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/12/2012 10:03:33 PM | | I was, sometimes at least. It depended on the the woman and the situation, and became less likely as I (and usually the women) got older. *chuckle* | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/12/2012 10:23:10 PM |
KatarzynaS
Ok I posted somewhere something similar so I'm just going to repeat myself again since I'm in early 30s n looking for possible future mr right I'm just going to say this much. Considering that we r talking about a girl that u want to have some kind of long committed relationship which one u would prefer the one that has some moral values m respect for herself n does not sleep with u until she get to know u a lil about u or one who jumps to bed with u one second date n god knows how many man she did it with.
My late wife and I had sex early and often and we were together for over 28 years. If it feels right, do it. I never believed just because someone slept with me, that they would sleep with just anybody. Then I have a higher opinion of myself then that. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/18/2012 9:46:09 AM | | Yes if r into sleeping with strangers I prefer not since I don't know who u slept before just not into guys that sleep with anybody who is willing to sleep with them. How about u impressing girl. Showing her u r interested in more than jus what is between her legs | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/18/2012 6:09:32 PM |
No man will wait for sex, but they'll post on here saying that they do in the hopes that it increases their chances of getting laid.
That's not true, most men won't wait for sex but there are still a few of us left. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/18/2012 6:21:45 PM | | Varies from man to man. Real men have the willpower to do it; means they're not a slave to their libido. Sex isn't the first thing that comes to mind when I'm trying to connect with someone at this point. A few years ago maybe, but I'm past it now. Looking for substance. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/18/2012 7:01:47 PM |
but I don't want to date a man twice and then hop in the bed with him.
I know people who have jumped in the sack on the first date, got married and lived happily ever after.
I think it's more about chemistry.
If you both know the other person is IT, the one. Who cares about all the formalities.
Waiting means nothing. | |
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