| | Are men really willing to wait for sex?Page 12 of 17 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17) | yep there are still guys who are willing to wait for sex
the current guy in my life, welll let's say i've told him that there won't be any sex till after 3 months of dating and he's ok and willing to do that for me! All my past relationships have been based on sex right off the bat and I told him this and he wants change that! | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/22/2012 5:17:04 PM | gujifijian78
Joined: 12/21/2010
Msg: 291
view profile
History
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/22/2012 4 03 PM
yep there are still guys who are willing to wait for sex
the current guy in my life, welll let's say i've told him that there won't be any sex till after 3 months of dating and he's ok and willing to do that for me! All my past relationships have been based on sex right off the bat and I told him this and he wants change that!
I'm soooooo jelaous u r so lucky | |
|
| |
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/22/2012 8:35:47 PM | | I cant speak for all men, but yes, I would be willing to wait. Ive had one night stands and long term relationships. The sex was much better with the LTR's and if it makes her more comfortable, then Im all for it. | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/23/2012 5:43:00 AM | What a bunch of whinny a** holes r u dudes for real? She shouldn't be Selfish n should share m should give it to me bc I bought her dinner. Never knew dinner = sex lol. No wonder u guys on here lol. But gladly I met our of ppl who did wait for a few weeks I guess I was worth it to them. Just meet one n reason he texted me is bc I want sleep with everybody I come to contact with. He belives in waiting as well n no there is nothing wrong win hi
He is almost to good to be true n will wait. So to all of u that want to wait even u girls there r still ppl who belive in waiting just like u don't worry about those sex hungry lunacis they can all sleep with eachother maybe get pragment with man they realize two weeks later they have nothing in common or get some std - u don't know who that person was with 2 nights ago. If she other person has some common sense values morals n self respect they will want to wait. Yes it is very rare but they do still exist | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/23/2012 9:11:09 AM |
KatarzynaS
What a bunch of whinny a** holes r u dudes for real?
First YOU (not U) YOU call women who don't agree with YOU, SLUTS and WH0RES and now you call men A$$holes.
Maybe you need to step away from the forums and confront your fears. Then you can come back and debate people in a calm rational way. | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/23/2012 9:50:46 AM | | I respect a lady to wait as long as it takes. It may even never happen. I have a lady friend of over 5 years and we have never had sex as she does not want it. | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/23/2012 11:10:02 AM | | For the men in here that said things like: "why wait"? If she doesn't want to have sex with me by the first or second date.....then I'll just assume she's not interested and move on". What if something happened and say she had her purse stolen on the way home from your house the next day after y'all had sex for the first time, and everything was stolen....all her cash.....CC, debit card...everything. So she asked you is she could borrow a few hundred dollars until she could get everything straightened out. How many of you would let her borrow the money? | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/23/2012 11:51:07 AM | Who said first or second date was a requirement?
Well, you can go back through all 13 pages....I'm sure you will find all sort's of different requirements and timelines as far a men "waiting".
abelian: Sure. If I slept with her, then it was because I was going to see her again anyway.
OK.....so you would have no problem with it? Cool. Because I have a feeling the majority of men who say they aren't willing to wait OR claim they see no reason to wait for sex if there's a "connection"; would absolutely positively NOT let her borrow the money under those circumstances.
doubt that if I had gotten mugged leaving a woman's house and had my money stolen, that I'd receive the same consideration, though. Why aren't these scenarios gender blind?
Because the question to this thread is: Are men really willing to wait for sex? And some men said no....not really... they are not, and gave a list of reasons why such as: "
"if she really liked me there would be no reason to wait"
"why should she need more time to "get to know me"
"if she trust me and likes me enough to go out with me.....then why not sleep with me"
So I was wondering if these same men that said these sort of things would indeed let the woman borrow a few hundred dollars under the circumstances I said earlier, because I can just imagine them saying things like "no, because I just met her....how do I know she's not just trying to "scam" me, etc. Get the picture? When you start talking about money with men......all of the sudden their whole tone changes. Have you read some of the threads in here where men want to go dutch on every date....and the reasons why? And yet when you start talking about sex with them.....THEN all the sudden it's all about "sharing" everything. Ha! | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/23/2012 5:10:10 PM |
But I have no time or use for judgmental people who sit up on their high horse and look down their nose at the rest of us. I have even less use of people who like to call others foul names because of different views on when sex is appropriate.
Me either. | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/23/2012 5:47:32 PM | @ abelian: I DO get what your saying and somewhat agree but all I'm trying to say is that it doesn't really take much of a connection for *most* men to have sex with a women and it's seems there were many men in here that seemed appalled if she said she feels the need to wait so she can get to know him better. Some men in here have said the most ridiculous things about women who might want to wait such as: "she must not like sex"......"she must not like me"......bla bla bla.
Have you noticed that not ONE single man (except you) that was spewing those words, have said they would loan her money??? And I'm pretty sure I know what they would say if they were being honest. They would be saying: "no....I don't loan money to women I don't know very well" "I would have to wait to get to know her a little better to see if I trusted her" "no, because how do I know she's not a "scam artist" and will just take my money and run? These men are not going to part with their money unless there REALLY is some sort of relationship or connection between the two of them.
All I'm saying is, like it or not, many women feel the same way when it comes to having sex with a guy. Just as a guy would feel the need to have a genuine connection with her to ever let her borrow money.....she feels there needs to be a genuine connection with him to have sex.
OK.....so I am FULLY aware that not ALL women have to have a connection with a man to have sex with him. There are many, many women that DO just have sex for the sake of having sex. And just to be clear.....I am NOT saying there is anything wrong with that AT ALL. In fact, I think it's GOOD that more and more women are able to enjoy sex for what it is.......SEX. But even in situations like that, I would be willing to bet, that the woman is STILL going to want *some* kind of connection with him or at the very least make sure he's not just an arrogant azzhole.
Men and woman ARE different and for what ever reason (maybe the same reasons men would find it difficult to loan a woman money) there usually needs to be some sort of trust or connection before a woman will want to have sex with him and that usually takes a little time.
I really do find the differences between men and women fascinating. It seems from reading the forums, that men value their money a lot more than their penises..... and women value their vagina way more than money.  | |
|
| |
| |
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/24/2012 8:05:30 AM |
For the men in here that said things like: "why wait"? If she doesn't want to have sex with me by the first or second date.....then I'll just assume she's not interested and move on". What if something happened and say she had her purse stolen on the way home from your house the next day after y'all had sex for the first time, and everything was stolen....all her cash.....CC, debit card...everything. So she asked you is she could borrow a few hundred dollars until she could get everything straightened out. How many of you would let her borrow the money?
*shrug* I've done it before. Most of the time I got paid back, sometimes I didn't. I never regretted it, I made a judgement call based upon my take upon the situation. The way I figure it, if they're genuine, I've done a good deed and scored alot of brownie points. If they're not, I file it under charity. If a woman is so hard up that she needs to date to snag a few hundred dollars, I can live with it if I fall for it. I'm willing to gamble that I can tell a good person from a bad one.
As for the original thread, I find it a little ridiculous. How about we flip this and see how it looks...
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Are women really willing to rush into sex?
See what I mean? Both presuppose that one side or the other has the right to dictate the pace of the relationship based upon their personal agendas.
Would I wait for sex for a period of time for a promising prospect? Possibly, but not indefinitely, and certainly not for a significant length of time outside of my comfort zone.
Should a woman rush into sex for a promising prospect? Possibly, and certainly not much faster than is significantly outside of her comfort zone.
That said I've been in relationships that started with sex on the first or second date, and been in relationships where we didn't have sex for multiple weeks, and even months.
Which ones lasted? The ones where we had sex within days to weeks, not months.
This is my point of view... if you are NOT sleeping with a man within 3-4 weeks and it is NOT for religious, moral or trauma related reasons (IE, you have done it before), then the reason you're not sleeping with me is one or more of the following...
1) You don't trust me/men in general.
2) You are not physically attracted to me.
3) You are deeply afraid of intimacy/being hurt.
4) You have a low/non-existant sex drive.
5) You just don't enjoy having sex.
6) You have a medical condition that interferes with sex or availability to commit.
Numbers 2-5 are deal breakers. I'm not looking to be someone's emotional teddy bear or therapist. I'll just walk away.
Number 6 will depend on the condition.
If you don't trust me after 3-4 weeks, how is 2 or 3 months or even 2 or 3 years going to change that? I'm not going to suddenly become more or less trustworthy. If we've talked enough, you know enough about me to make a judgement on my attractiveness, character and intentions. If you can't my true intentions within 3-4 weeks, that's an issue with your judgement, not with mine.
I am a great believer in doing what comes naturally. If it makes sense to have sex on the 1st date or 15th date, it's all fine by me. However, I'm not a believer in putting artificial constraints/hoops on what should be a natural process.
My current GF slept with me on our First date. It wasn't forced or rushed, it just happened. She told me later that she wasn't planning on having sex with me for several weeks... it just felt natural that we should.
3+ years later we're still very together.
That's how it should be. Natural, not planned, not forced, not held to an artifical timetable whether it's the 1st date or the 30th date. | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/25/2012 1:00:38 PM |
abelian: First dates for me either have in depth conversations that include lots of personal details and end with a lot of heavy kissing or they consist of superficial chit chat and end with me being very stand offish.
This is pretty much how it is for me also. BUT.....there have been time's when I really liked the guy but held off on how I felt towards him because I had a feeling he wasn't on the up and up, and in the end, I was glad I did. This had nothing to do with weather I wanted a "relationship" or not, but had more to do with what kind of person he really was, and weather he was really married or had a GF.
abelian: If I don't understand why people wait to have sex, it's probably because I don't understand why two people would go on a second date unless they are so totally into each other by the end of the first date, that they aren't paying attention to anything else.
You must have missed all the different post from women who said they were really "into" the guy......and the guy acted like he was really into her.......and then either shortly after having sex, or in some cases immediately after having sex.....the guy either flat out dumps her or just disappears. When men say things like: "she's frigid"....."she must not like sex"......"she's trying to control me" ......"she's playing games" "she's not the gatekeeper of sex", "why wait? what are we waiting for" etc....etc. about a woman who chooses not to have sex right away, they stick out like a sore thumb to me as someone that is nothing but a user. Those men are probably the same type of men that always just wants to go to her house to watch a "movie", or that expects to go dutch every time. I did notice that a lot more men said that they understood and actually appreciated it when a girl hold's off for the right reasons.
I am not a serial dater.....I tend to take my time and talk to the guy for awhile before meeting him and if he gives me the impression that he's any kind of user I'll just stop talking to him. Who want's or needs THAT? | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/25/2012 2:31:57 PM | Given the right set of circumstances, I would loan a few hundred dollars to a woman that I had dated several times. I’m thinking “a few hundred” is around $300 to $400, correct? This is not a lot of money in a dating scenario, the cost of a few dates, no big deal. Now if you were talking serious money, say $5k, that might be a little more difficult to swallow.
cautiousluv
You must have missed all the different post from women who said they were really "into" the guy......and the guy acted like he was really into her.......and then either shortly after having sex, or in some cases immediately after having sex.....the guy either flat out dumps her or just disappears.
And what about the hundreds or thousands of posts from women who did not sleep with the guy, and he disappeared anyway? I do not believe that having sex is going to cause very many men to run away (unless, of course, it was really bad sex).
I did notice that a lot more men said that they understood and actually appreciated it when a girl hold's off for the right reasons.
I would be highly suspicious of those statements. I strongly suspect those men are simply trying to make points with the women reading these forums. About the only “right reason” that I can think of is “she’s just not that into me”, in which case I should be moving on down the road anyway. | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/25/2012 3:03:50 PM |
I want to know he loves me for me, and not what's between my legs, and how good the head is.
And How good the head is??... How is he supposed to know how orally talented you are if you aren't putting out in the first month or two?..... haha sorry just had too! (I know what you meant..)
But seriously I waited eight months before the romp with my girlfriend (now wife).. and we saw each other almost every day...So they are out there ...
Cheers and good luck! | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/25/2012 5:20:22 PM | Mfforal3: But seriously I waited eight months before the romp with my girlfriend (now wife)..
Now see....that surprises me a little. And now look at you, you're living *almost* every guy's dream......guess it just goes to show you "good things cum to those that wait" huh. 
Ohenryx: Given the right set of circumstances, I would loan a few hundred dollars to a woman that I had dated several times.
Right. So you would at least have needed to date her several times......and I'm assuming to perhaps get to know her a little better to make sure she's not just a 'user'? Everyone knows there are people out there, male and female that are "scammers" and/or "users".....but I feel like most of us would be able to spot people like this after being around them a few times.....or at least pick up on subtle clues that would make us suspicious? So just as a guy might not want to loan money until after he's know her a little better, many women feel the same way about having sex. And this is the biggest point I'm trying to make. Can you imagine a girl expecting a man to loan her money shortly after meeting her....and if he didn't feel comfortable with that yet, she had the attitude that he's a cheapskate.....or that he's an azzhole.....or if he really liked her he would loan her the money......or that he's cold? Most people would think the girl was being unreasonable......or maybe even a little crazy and at the very least, selfish and self centered. That is NO different than the men who say the girl is frigid.....she must not like sex......she's playing games.......she's trying to control things. Any man who say's this and actually believes it? Well, yea.....I feel like he might just be a little crazy in the head. And any man that say's this but doesn't actually believe it?..... is just saying it because he's a user.
abelian: This is one of those things I don't understand, especially with online dating. Married people don't have the freedom to be online, talk on the phone or meet at just any time.
That's why if the woman actually starts dating him and try's to get to know him by going on several dates.....she will start picking up on the clue's that perhaps he already has a significant other.
abelian: (1) Men aren't all evil geniuses and women aren't all naive. I don't believe that every time that happens that a woman was outsmarted. Lots of times people ignore the obvious because they want something that looks too good to be true;
I agree. I'm sure that there are women that ignore a guy when he's starts ranting about her not sleeping with him right away and telling her she must not really like him.
abelian: (2) How many of them were ``talked into'' having sex?
Truthfully? Not many. But I think a lot of them were either lied to or misled......and just didn't pick up on the clues.
abelian: You can solve the problem completely by asking yourself if the sex you're considering having will be worth it if the guy disappears, whether that's on the 1st date or 100th date and just forget about what you think your relationship status or whatever is. You'll have sex with fewer people and you (should) be able to acknowledge that there was some risk involved and you took that risk voluntarily, if you did have sex. Take whatever risk is acceptable given what you want.
I agree 100%. This is more like my way of thinking, BUT.....I also realize that I am probably not the norm as I tend to beat to a different drum at times....so to speak. But that doesn't keep me from seeing how ridiculous those statements are that some men make.....or what is happening to other people. | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/25/2012 5:21:33 PM |
I respect a lady to wait as long as it takes. It may even never happen. I have a lady friend of over 5 years and we have never had sex as she does not want it.
Each to their own . I certainly respect her choice to make however nothing nobel about it. Sexuality is a part of being a healthy human adult. I don't consider long term abstinence as virtue but more of some regressed attitude towards a natural activity.
I have a female friend who is an absolute knock out. I've known her long before my girlfriend. We'd go hiking together, the theatre, dinner, even camping....but zero sex. I really didn't mind as she was just treat to look at. However, I sure wasn't celibate. Women can wait as long as they want but I'm not waiting beyond a month or so. What's exactly is going to change after a 4 or 5 dates together? | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/25/2012 5:24:53 PM | Keep in mind for every great guy that waits 8 months, there's are literally hundreds of great guys that will walk away after 1-3 months.
That's not to say you should sleep on them on a first date, however if you don't have a specific reason to delay physical intimacy, then what you're really doing is trying to have the man jump through time specific hoops.
It's a passive-aggressive way of exerting control over the relationship.
Let's flip this... if after 3 months you felt comfortable enough to sleep with a man but they wanted to wait 6 more months because they explicitly said they didn't feel they could trust you, how would you feel about that?
Something to think about... | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/25/2012 5:34:01 PM |
wanderer: Let's flip this... if after 3 months you felt comfortable enough to sleep with a man but they wanted to wait 6 more months because they explicitly said they didn't feel they could trust you, how would you feel about that?
I'd tell him to stop being ridiculous so we can both get nakkid and have some fun! | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/25/2012 5:43:04 PM | | hey iv been alone for 4 years. im too dam old to be playin games with any woman. i take my time, get to know, why force any of it. cause if that happens...you will be single use ur brain, anything worth doing is worth doing right. like a relationship.. | |
|
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/25/2012 5:45:13 PM | I'd tell him to stop being ridiculous so we can both get nakkid and have some fun!
Exactly. There's a healthy amount of time to build trust before engaging in sex, and anything that goes significantly beyond that starts to push the boundaries of an unhealthy lack of trust.
How many dates does it take before a woman should trust you with her body and heart? It's dependent on each woman. However, I do know that if it starts to get excessively long relative to the amount of time spent together, then there are deeper issues in play.
Most healthy Men will walk away at that point.
Though Men can compartmentalize sex, when there is genuine affection few things are as hurtful as when a woman tells a Man who has done all the right things and shown nothing but loyalty and caring that they are still not worthy of Trust.
Good Men understand that trust has to be earned. However, to tell a Man that you don't trust them is one of the greatest turn offs a Man can experience, especially when they feel they have done more than enough to earn that trust.
Asking a Man to earn a woman's trust is not unfair, just realize that when a Woman refuses to give that trust for too long a Man starts to question the woman's sincerity, just like a Woman may be suspicious of a Man who is unwilling to spend the time to earn that trust. | |
|
| |
| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 6/25/2012 6:26:04 PM |
wanderer: Exactly. There's a healthy amount of time to build trust before engaging in sex, and anything that goes significantly beyond that starts to push the boundaries of an unhealthy lack of trust.
I completely agree. In fact, I agree with just about everything you said.
wanderer: Good Men understand that trust has to be earned
Right! And again, ^^^^THIS^^^^ is kind of my whole point. Evidently there are a whole lot of men who don't see it this way and think pretty poorly of women who feel this way.
@ abelian.....the only problem I see with your way of thinking is maybe it's too logical
YOU might have different experiences and expectations because perhaps you aren't playing games and the other person picks up on that rather quickly. I don't play games either.....however, I have the ability to see both sides of the story.
Letsbuildsomething: anyone who has a calendar and marks off days until sex, may need to talk to someone...
Ummmmm.....WHO said ANYTHING about a calendar and marking off days? Have you even been "listening"?? | |
|
Home
login 
