Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Be Honest...Are You Shallow?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 51
view profile
History
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

How about you? As I asked before and I ask again, do you make it a practice not to respond to a profile that contains no picture?


Do we walk around in day to day life with bags over our heads? No.

Is it shameful to be known and viewed as a single person looking for a date? No.

I dont accept emails from profiles that dont at least have a private image saved to the system. For all I know that faceless profile could belong to a friend of my sons playing a silly joke...and ex who has nothing better to do than waste my time...a coworker being nosey etc...I have been called shallow for wanting to see who Im talking to, but to me, it is just common sense to be able to see the face of the person Im speaking with. I verify via webcam/skype that the face sent to me on pof matches.

I can understand wanting to hide your picture from general viewing, as some people dont need thier coworkers knowing they are trying online dating...I can understand wanting privacy, but to join a dating site and not even upload a private image to share upon introducing yourself is pretty stupid in my opinion. Thats like fishing with no bait and then insulting the fish for swarming to the lines with some fish food on the end. You cannot fight natural instinct.

Im not here for random, idle chit chat. I guess if all I was looking for was text buddies/penpals I would not demand to see the face, but who in heck would consider meeting someone they have never laid eyes on or vetted that the profile actually belongs to an adult at the very least? There are simply too many fake profiles to carry on like the early 90's as though everyone on line is being upfront and honest. The internet is flooded with profiles that are complete BS. We have the tools to verify these things and to not use them out of some stance against being percieved as shalllow is pretty silly in my opinion.
 stargazin53
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 52
view profile
History
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/26/2012 7:53:00 AM
--the "no picture" comments always make me think of the local papers singles ads...just short blurbs, ages, coded descriptions, recorded voice messages, no pictures...and very popular ! Sometimes I wonder how much the online catalogs of human singles distort how we "see" each other. Hmmm. Ha-just thinking out loud.
 thewelshduck
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 53
view profile
History
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/26/2012 9:47:22 AM
We are ALL shallow, i dont care what any one says, we all have an image in our minds, of what we find attractive, and what we dont,

In my case, i prefer women of smaller build, some guys really do love the larger woman, some thin women wont even glance twice at a average thin guy, and on and on and on....its all preference, nothing more :O)
 VoxClamantis
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 54
view profile
History
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/26/2012 10:21:13 AM
I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know if you know what I mean
Choke me in the shallow water before I get too deep
What I am is what I am are you what you are or what

I can go as deep as you want, but I don't select for it.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 55
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/26/2012 10:32:04 AM
Do we walk around in day to day life with bags over our heads? No.


No, but we don't walk around wearing name badges (except at some workplaces) with our relationship status listed either. We get to preserve some of our privacy and anonymity to the world at large when we see fit to do so.


The internet is flooded with profiles that are complete BS.


And a lot of those actually have photos already.
 Sunshinelady555
Joined: 4/10/2012
Msg: 56
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/26/2012 10:42:32 AM
It does not make a Person Shallow just because people like a nice looking mate.
I will respond usually, if I like the man's Profile.
It does not have to do with getting Older, why should we want less
of an attractive person just because we are Older. lol
 7thour
Joined: 12/2/2011
Msg: 57
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/26/2012 11:39:49 AM
It is not being shallow it is being interested in the look.

Say for instance there are hundreds of people at a festival. You walk by most of them without so much as a glance. Then you see someone that strikes your inner core and not only a glance occurs but a longer more careful look, some might even consider a stare happens. Your knees my get week and your heart may pump a little stronger...this is called attraction.

On the internet we are attracted to a physical appearance only. There is no tone or character on a profile so that is all we have.

I can guarantee the last relationship I had, if that man had been on the net and sent me an e-mail, I would not have replied. His picture alone would not have attracted me and there is nothing he could have said in his profile that would have tempted me to respond to him.

I can also tell you that there have been men I met off of POF who I was attracted to but once we met, his character was so outrageous that I bailed after 5 minutes.

It is not shallow OP.......it is the way it is.

NO, I will speak to someone without a picture. He will have to show it to me though within a few e-mails. I made the mistake of meeting a man without a picture many moons ago. The ketchup stain on his shirt was only one of his many turnoffs.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 58
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/26/2012 11:45:14 AM
There is no tone or character on a profile so that is all we have.


If someone spends 1/2 of their "about me" section bashing the opposite sex and online dating in general, I would say their profile has a "tone' to it.

Like the headline I just came across: "Some Guys Are Full of Crap Just Saying!"
 Southpaw_Grammar
Joined: 4/12/2012
Msg: 59
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/26/2012 8:44:12 PM
As far as no picture. I didn't sign up to talk to the invisible person. I need to see who I am talking to. When I car shop I don't want to buy a car with a scrape in it however, if the Hyundai out performs the BMW then I'll take the Hyundai. You have to remember to have a thick skin on these sites as well as anywhere.
 DumchikBrewsky
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 60
view profile
History
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/26/2012 8:54:34 PM
Someone has changed his profile recently. You originally asked for women between 25 and 45. I'm wondering if you received negative responses and decided to backtrack.

I don't consider myself shallow, but the men I write to are. The heart wants what it wants; so what? We'll get over it. There will always be someone newer, someone better, etc. just around the corner.
 jackiejc
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 61
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/26/2012 8:57:27 PM
Nothing to do with shallow! on here when there is no pic they are usually married or in a relationship!
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 62
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/26/2012 10:45:06 PM
I want to see a photo. Not because I am shallow but because most profiles without photos are men hiding from a spouse/girlfriend/the law. I have much more respect for a guy who is upfront, so I don't even read emails from the faceless ones.
 Wrandy
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 63
view profile
History
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/27/2012 3:14:07 PM
Yes, I like to see a photo and I don't like to think that I am shallow.

I don't want a "beauty queen", I just want someone who takes care of herself and tries to look her best. I find all sorts of types and shapes and sizes of women attractive.
Once I'm in a relationship I look mostly into her eyes.

But it is tough being a young guy trapped in an old man's body. Many of the women my age look matronly and remind me of my mother, or aunts, or grandmother and that is the biggest turn-off of all!
 starofgaia
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 64
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/27/2012 3:35:47 PM
My settings are set that subscribers without a photo are blocked, as soon as they press send to e-mail me. (I still manually block as chat requests arrive.) People who hide their photos also get ignored - what do they have to hide?
 tuloa942
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 65
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/27/2012 3:39:23 PM
EVERYONE is shallow to one degree or another. It could just be a part of human nature.
 Starfiish76
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 66
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/27/2012 3:55:55 PM
Far from it. Not everyone is photogenic, besides, I like the excitement and mystery of meeting someone without photos. I've done that before and was happy about it. I find that intelligent women are attractive and try to present themselves in a good way.

I welcome the mystery of no photos, and it doesn't bother me if i'm overlooked with no picture. That screens out certain women for me.

In fact, i'm sure my profile is very intimidating, but not to everyone.
 Wrandy
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 67
view profile
History
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/27/2012 4:33:10 PM
Photos often tell a lot about the person other than simply what they look like.

Have you ever looked at some pics and seen arrogance, or shyness? For example, do women like pics of guys flexing their muscles?
Sometimes the door in the back of the pic shows that they live in a trailer.
Or another shows that they are a messy housekeeper. Or they really like clutter and collecting knick-knacks.
I've seen people who have multiple shots where they look drunk or were all taken in bars. Do they live there?
Dogs, I don't like huge ones or to see pics of more than a couple. I don't want to date a kennel.

Getting info like that certainly isn't shallow.
 Thornz2000
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 68
view profile
History
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/27/2012 6:35:49 PM
Shallow is a very general term. To me shallow would be material possession and wealth over looks.
For as age and looks goes, men I think age much better then women.

I do go by looks 1st. After all, if looks was not important why do we all look different and why are we attracted to certain looks?

Then I go to personality and compatibility.....and so on.
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 69
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/28/2012 12:38:12 AM
For as age and looks goes, men I think age much better then women.


Seriously? I know a lot of gorgeous single women in their 40's, 50's and 60's...and a lot of men in that age range who, without a woman to dress them and clean up after them, look squidgy, have d*cky-do bellies and start to resemble Santa Claus or Mr. Clean. They also seem to have more serious health issues. The gate swings both ways when it comes to aging gracefully.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 70
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/28/2012 7:17:04 AM
omg-over the years doing online dating i met such odd looking men...one looked like PeeWee Herman,but w/ blonde hair...(mekka lekka hi, mekka hiknee ho, LOL) one from POF looked EXACTLY like Neuman from Seinfeld...another guy from another site years ago wrote "I am everything a woman could ever want" but had a pic of himself in a recliner w/ a crocheted afghan on him- made him look like a 99 yr old lady...I laughed so hard, I wet my pants when I got his email- a friend dared me to meet him- I did as a a goof-OMG!
I stopped doing online in 2007 & went to "real life"...and no, not all the online men were ridiculous, but a disproportionate amount were...there was another guy who had pics up from before he gained 50 lbs...he lied about everything except his name...

So now, if I expect the person to be reasonably honest, reasonably financially solvent & reasonably attractive, does that make me shallow?

If I could remember & list all the men I met in the past from the net, I think I'd wanna jump off the bridge...the real life ones seemed so much better...

so yes, call me shallow, maybe those are the ones who are successful, cuz they don't waste their time w/ people they'd never want to date...
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 71
view profile
History
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/29/2012 11:59:52 AM
I am honest on some circumstances like the IRS,but I will not respond to people who wants to date me with no picture, because it is like you are meeting someone whom you don't know what s/he looks like ,in other words, you are blind if you don't
have any LEAD.

OP you don't think that is stupid ???? I think it is..

It doesn't bother me that I am a Shallow and will make me dead or live tomorrow, but I still won't date a person with no picture.. Even a fake picture is fine ,for I can meet him incognito too..

And I will not date a 400 lbs with bad teeth man even he is the last man on earth.. continues from the Ist epesode of the Thread Shallow , and this is the 2nd epesode of the Thread Shallow, now it is really sinking in my thick skull........... (:-)
....
<div class="quote"> I ,myself use pictures to "elimate" many potential partnerts, even know I realized that I may be missing out on a great opportunity by doing so. I agree that makes me "shallow" and not proud of that fact.

OP, if common sense decision makes you "shallow " and you are not proud of it , then don't do it , for you only live once and life is too short to spend making ashame of yourself of being >>>> SHALLOW,SHALLOW, SHALLOW SHALLOW ,SHALLOW SHALLOW SHALLOW SHALLOW SHALLOW......................
 SpringsDiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 72
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/29/2012 12:10:08 PM
LMAO, BlondeAngel! There's nothing like answering a posted question with you own t-shirt! hehhehheh
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 73
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/29/2012 12:16:03 PM

Even a fake picture is fine ,for I can meet him incognito too..


Why would a fake picture be better than no picture?
A fake picture makes someone a liar.
No picture on here simply means (pending further investigation) they don't want a picture on here.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 74
view profile
History
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/29/2012 12:37:54 PM

Why would a fake picture be better than no picture at all ?


Good question. I guarrantee the fake picture is super handsome, young hunk and that is a "LEAD "so I'll be casing all the old ugly guys ,who among them is my date????


A fake picture makes someone a liar.
correct and could be a scammer or a serial killer.


No picture on here simply means ( pending further investigation ) they don't want a picture on here.


I am not enterested to investigate a person with no pictures at all.
Kidding aside
Most POF profiles with no pictures when they email a certain person their profile's image automatically emerge..
 KittyStarstruck
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 75
Be Honest...Are You Shallow?
Posted: 4/29/2012 3:03:34 PM
You pose an interesting quandry.

I am a professional person, and POF owns your pics forever. And it's very easy to "copy" and "paste" a photo to the internet.

I do not post my photo, and still get lots of email. If I really like someone, of course I will show someone a photo of me..........I understand that men are "visual" creatures. That's not being shallow, that's a biological imperitive in men.

Also, I had to laugh at your question. Truly shallow people don't see themselves that way! They don't fess up! Like the woman who admitted to being "shallow".......I checked out her profile and she is definitely NOT shallow.......she is insightful and admits it!

I agree with the posters who say "eventually as we start chatting and getting to know each other, I will be glad to show you a pic of me on your own personal private email..........not on POF." Have you ever seen those pics that have POF stamped on them. POF owns your pics, so I choose, out of privacy, to not post pics of me here. If I miss a great guy, oh well.........so far, that has not been a problem for me.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Be Honest...Are You Shallow?