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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > 3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !      Home login  
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 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 276
3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !Page 12 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)

F someone thinks they are ready, meets someone for lunch/dinner or whatever, and thenthey realize that they are in fact NOT ready - who is hurt by this? It's just lunch, it's not a life committment. It's the same as going out with someone and discovering any other "red flag" - learn from it, say thanks but no thanks and move on.


Personally if I didn't think I was ready --why would I burden someone else with my issues--yet again this whole concept that someone who is a widow/widower has a special right is the reason most are posting they avoid them--including other widows--

As to who is hurt by this--seems other widow/widowers are--cause now people no longer wish to meet them

I know when Im going to full time in college and doing others things in my life it is hard for me to make the time to meet anyone--I feel some people are bored and lonely and think that others are like them and so it doesn't hurt anything but for many of us our time is valuable and we have no desire to spend it meeting someone that even if we do click on everything else --if they aren't ready.

Im not asking someone to fix me--Im not asking someone to put me back together--the issue is there are people on here who want friends, --they state they arent ready to date --so they should consider being friends with them or there are meetup groups that you can join--to basically rejoin life--other social functions etc--but to take a person who is seeking to find a mate and wants long term and jerk them around is wrong--so stop playing it like it is no big deal--it is to the people being jerked around and it hurts other widow/widowers cause now no one else wishes to date them and that is a shame cause some of them are great people. BUT as long as yall (meaning widow/widowers) continue to say ohhh it is ok --then others are going to continue to lump yall all in the same basic category and so it is self-defeating.

Again no matter how you are now at this point single are you granted special privileges etc--yes it is sad and yes we all agree that what you had was special BUT until a person is ready to date--they shouldnt be using other people to get over what happened. So you can see it HURTS alot--
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 277
3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/25/2012 1:46:14 PM
No one is asking for special treatment or special privileges. All I have ever said is don't make assumptions and lump everyone into a category. You certainly got you knickers in a twist when I mentioned that those that had been divorced more than one or twice we "losers" or failures.

And anyone stupid enough to go out with a person who buried their partner a month ago or divorced their spouse a month ago is an idiot. Ask some friggin questions and listen to the answers before you agree to a meet.

And while I gather that you somehow have such a busy schedule that even a coffee meet that doesn't meet your expectations of perfection is such a hardship...get over it. We've all had crappy dates and crappy meets - nothing is guraranteed in meeting or dating. The ratio or divorced to widowed on here is vast, for every widow there must be a hundred divorced folks so the odds are that you'll meet more "not quite readys" in the divorced category. I won't even touch the seperated group.

And I'm not asking anyone to fix me or put my life back together, how presumptious of you to think that the widowed are that way.

There are a lot of fvcked up people out there; go read the thread about "would you go back to an ex", "celibacy", "would you move in together", "would you marry again". Christ, half of these folks are so screwed up from past relationships and it doesn't matter their marital status.

We do the best we can with what we have. Yes, those not ready should stay home and mend or find an alternative to dating for the time being. But both married and widowed don't really, really know for sure if they are ready until they try. And yanno, I'm really sorry if they waste your precious time... but I'm sure you've wasted someone's time as well at some point, especially after two failed marriages and a long healing process.

Don't lump folks into a category, don't make assumptions. The only way to truly find out about someone is to meet them, chat with them, listen to them and especially listen to your gut.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 278
3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/25/2012 1:58:30 PM

You certainly got you knickers in a twist when I mentioned that those that had been divorced more than one or twice we "losers" or failures.


wow you go on about not lumping people together and how people should be viewed based on their own merits and yet you start it with this type of bullshit--seriously--who are you to judge how anyone is single? Again it reeks of you feeling that cause your partner died that makes you a better candidate than someone who is divorced more than once or twice--it doesnt --it only makes you single--like them.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 279
3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/25/2012 2:36:28 PM

Ahhh...the concept of supporting someone else eludes many here...sometimes I think this is the land of "all about me"...though I know that's not true for all...


Very true statement. There is one key concept that many women miss. If they want a man to truly love them, they need to be a giver . . not a taker. Its surprising how many of them have never learned this basic fact of life. I would guess the same would apply to guys.
 wackadoodledoo
Joined: 4/14/2011
Msg: 280
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3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/25/2012 2:41:12 PM
I like that!!!!
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 281
3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/25/2012 2:48:37 PM
""...makes you a better candidate..." What I do know for sure is that I am better than some. But I also know that I'm not better than others. And it has nothing to do with marital status. And as far as I'm concerned I'm single and I've certainly taken my hits for that on the forums from those that think I'm telling a lie on my profile about my marital status, especially from the divorced. So in response I said that it would be more telling to have to put down how many times you were divorced on your profile.

As for divorced, well, I'm sure even the divorced go around saying "hmm, I've been divorced once so I'm not as big a loser as that guy who's been divorced three times". Human nature.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 282
3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/25/2012 2:55:55 PM

Again it reeks of you feeling that cause your partner died that makes you a better candidate than someone who is divorced more than once or twice--it doesnt --it only makes you single--like them.


Why do people assume that we widows have had any better or any worse marriages than anybody whose marriage is now over? Where has any widow ever posted that his/her "widowed" status makes him/her "a better candidate than someone who is divorced more than once or twice".

I've said it before ------ and so have dozens of other widows and divorced posters: time and attitude are the key here. This thread should be about "readiness to date" whether/not one is widowed or divorced. Making assumptions that one marital status is automatically more "ready" to date than another is ridiculous. "Separated" is another thing altogether, and I have no desire to address this "legally still married" status as more "ready" than the other two. But ONLY (italics please) because of the potential for a legal quagmire . I freely admit: that on one hand i totally understand why a separated person may be so for health insurance, but on the other hand, i just don't want to deal with some issue ridden "legal spouse" should i become involved with a separated gentleman (which did happen to me once!).

Take the potential for legal issues out of the equation for a "separated" person, there are I have zero doubt some separated persons who are far more ready to date and love again than some wildows or divorced. Again. And yet again: the issue is about emotional readiness. And the entire question should arise one person at a time --- not by gross generalizations that do a disservice to everyone: the prospective dater loses out by stereotyping and deciding never to date widows, and the widows lose out by being automatically lumped into the "dysfunctionally distraught" category. Gee whizz: why are people so quick to make assumptions based on three (as in the OP) dates? Some of us have met literally a few hundred prospective matches-------- and you know what? We're still "single". It's darn hard to find "The One" for an LTR when one is over 45. And it is darn hardER when one is nearly 60.

Just today a very very attractive gentleman sent me a highly complimentary messagge of interest. It's been a while since i've heard from somebody with his degree of attractive qualities and attributes. Honestly? As i prepare to spend another Friday night watching a ball game on the tube, I read this guy's message, read his profile, and was so thrilled that I was ready to write back ------- and send him my phone number (cell) ---- along with a "what the heck: would you like to uphold the saying, Carpe Diem, and go for it by meeting for a drink/walk tonight if your Friday night is currently as dateless as mine?" But then i mapquested his location. #$%&**@##: if the guy isn't living 7.5 hours away. And so it goes ------- not!

It's just hard as heck to find romance at this age, and why make it even harder by excluding entire groups of people?
The only thing worse i've seen so far is people who exclude persons of color w hich IMO constitudes a very unappealing attitude that is less of preferences and more of blatant bigotry and racism. , y Why on earth would I exclude a super attractive gentleman simply because he is an African American (or a Canadian for that matter -- sigh, yep: another great guy living in the Canadian arctic circle. . . )

But in a free country, people have the right to choose. Just as they have the right to be alone. And that may well be the bottom line for a lot of us!
 wackadoodledoo
Joined: 4/14/2011
Msg: 283
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3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/25/2012 2:57:11 PM
Seems this topic has gotten way off track! There are divorced people that are on this dating site that are probably not appropriate candidates to be venturing into the dating world for a myriad of reasons, emotional economic, etc. etc. There are also people that have lost their spouses husbands that may not be ready to date as well. No one is better than the other. But to say 3 strikes -out No more widows is a bit ludicrous and a rash generalization!
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 284
3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/25/2012 3:02:44 PM

There are divorced people that are on this dating site that are probably not appropriate candidates to be venturing into the dating world for a myriad of reasons, emotional economic, etc. etc. There are also people that have lost their spouses husbands that may not be ready to date as well. No one is better than the other. But to say 3 strikes -out No more widows is a bit ludicrous and a rash generalization


Amen (fat chance!:)
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 285
3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/25/2012 3:09:28 PM


Why do people assume that we widows have had any better or any worse marriages than anybody whose marriage is now over? Where has any widow ever posted that his/her "widowed" status makes him/her "a better candidate than someone who is divorced more than once or twice".


See message 279
No one is asking for special treatment or special privileges. All I have ever said is don't make assumptions and lump everyone into a category. You certainly got you knickers in a twist when I mentioned that those that had been divorced more than one or twice we "losers" or failures.


Notice Im not saying the OP's attitude is correct--all I said is no matter how you are single--you are in fact now single and yet time and time again it is being expressed by the widow/widowers on this thread and others that they feel they are better or since their mate died they were or had experience a better type of love--NOT!

It is each and every individual that should be considered--not how they became single--and to judge a person CURRENT ability to be a good partner in life as better or more ready or basically anything is just a very stupid assumption if it is based strikely on why that person is now single
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 286
3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/25/2012 5:53:23 PM

No one is asking for special treatment or special privileges. All I have ever said is don't make assumptions and lump everyone into a category. You certainly got you knickers in a twist when I mentioned that those that had been divorced more than one or twice we "losers" or failures.


Strictly speaking denotatively, as I (and numerous others) have previously noted: every single person widowed or divorced person here is a loser. We have all experienced loss, and in quoting myself: loss is loss. Who can possibly presume to declare that one loss is any more heartbreaking than another?

I don't recall reading anything about "multiply divorced" people on this thread (I'd bet there is some other thread more directly focused upon this as a primary topic in itself) but again: literally anyone who is divorced has a failed marriage. Few people succeed at everything they endeavour to achieve, and marriage is no exception. So what?
On one hand, a person who has been divorced three times and then is willing to put him/herself "out there" a fourth or fifth time may well be incredibly courageous and stronger than the average individual. Or s/he may be lacking in some critical ability to make sound judgments about people when it comes to romance. Or s/he may be the victim (as already noted in the case of some widows -- including myself ) of a predator: a non/violent sociopath with zero compunction of taking full advantage of the emotionally fragile and often very trusting (to the point of stupidity in my case) nature of the widow. So the term "failed marriage" while literally just that may well reflect strong and courageous behaviour --- in that the divorced person has had the guts to GET OUT of a destructive/abusive "marriage" that is itself the exact opposite of what a "marriage in its ideal should be.

All in all this is a very grey area. And people unwilling/able to consider the complexities surrounding each and every individual person's "widowed, divorced, multiply divorced, multiply widowed?" statuses, are for sure closing off a door ---- or two, or three or four.

Again: their choice.
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 287
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3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/25/2012 8:24:01 PM
Dating is about mutual respect. If someone is more needy, then the give-take ratio is off already. I think you can pick up that in a conversation prior to agreeing to meet.

It is not selfish to expect for a date to not turn into a therapy session. It is healthy, in fact. If someone is still needing to talk, that is what friends and family are far.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 288
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3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/26/2012 7:35:10 AM

yet time and time again it is being expressed by the widow/widowers on this thread and others that they feel they are better or since their mate died they were or had experience a better type of love--NOT!


Perhaps, I'd missed the post that said that W's somehow are better...perhaps you can qoute the post that supports this assertion.

Though, I do have to agree that someonewho enters into multiple failed marriages doesn't really get it...
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 289
3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/26/2012 11:01:24 AM

Dating is about mutual respect. If someone is more needy, then the give-take ratio is off already. I think you can pick up that in a conversation prior to agreeing to meet.

It is not selfish to expect for a date to not turn into a therapy session. It is healthy, in fact. If someone is still needing to talk, that is what friends and family are far.


Exactly--saying it is no big deal to meet someone and then expecting them to be your therapist to help you deal with the death of your significant other is wrong...especially when there are those who want friends (on this site and other sites) and meetup groups they can join.

Bigbadnirish says
yet time and time again it is being expressed by the widow/widowers on this thread and others that they feel they are better or since their mate died they were or had experience a better type of love--NOT!


Perhaps, I'd missed the post that said that W's somehow are better...perhaps you can qoute the post that supports this assertion.

Though, I do have to agree that someonewho enters into multiple failed marriages doesn't really get it...


I have quoted Welsh in each post and put the thread post number but here ya go

Reread the first paragraph of post 279 and then 283--I replied to what Ready-Real said in 284.

Some people have more time than sense--if you encourage people who aren't ready to date--what do you think will happen--how long before someone meets them and takes advantage of them? If someone is operating from a need basis and just wants a friend to listen to them--how quickly can someone turn that to their advantage? People think they are supporting other widow/widower aren't by encouraging them--until someone can operate with a clear head about what is going on around them they are setting themselves up by being on an online dating site--there are so many fakes and con artist on here.

So the healthy (mentally and emotionally ) walk away from them cause they do not want to play therapist (mainly cause they arent licensed and trained to be) and what is left--those who will take advantage of them.

BTW Irish I had come to respect most of your post until that last one--seriously unless you know the reason for each failed marriage how do you know the person isn't getting it? Wasn't that a bit more judgmental than it should be?

I think some of y'all take things so personal that you are so closed minded to what is actually being said--why do you think this thread is this big--if there wasn't an issue with widow/widowers --why are some widow's actually saying they wont date a widower? Just because you are now ready doesn't mean that there aren't others who aren't and that is who this might be about yet to constantly encourage individuals vs seeing the problem is going to continue the whole bias against widow/widowers.

The op was definitely wrong to blame the widower for the results given the amount of time...I think even the OP will acknowledge that; yet the bottom line is no matter how you got here--you are here --single, divorced, never married, separated etc--imho it isnt important HOW you got here--It's WHAT that life experience made out of you--are you bitter, happy, did you grow or has it shut you down...
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 290
3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/26/2012 11:49:26 AM
I'll tell you why some of us have taken it personally - the friggin thread title. How would the rest of you feel if the thread titlle read "3 Strikes - out. No more divorced people" or "3 Strikes - out. No more Brunettes" or "3 Strikes out - No more fat women" or "3 Strikes out. No more Bald Guys".

All I have said from the beginning was don't tar everyone with the same brush, and yup, then it got personal. I just don't get the generalization on widowed when ALL of us have had crappy dates with divorced, seperated, never married, and yes, widowed. ALL of us have had b.s. thrown at us on dates, including sitting there across the table from a divorced person as they rag on endlessly about the ex, the cost of lawyers and how someone did them wrong. I don't want to play therapist either on a date, but I have. I haven't had a second date with those people but the "therapy over coffee" is not exclusive to the widowed. YOU may be over your divorce, many aren't.

And in fairness, if someone has been married for a long time (20 years/30 years) and are now back in the dating pool for whatever reason, and that included divorced/widowed/seperated, it is hard to get back into the swing of things. I had not dated in 31 years, it wasn't easy going out there in the big wide world of dating. I didn't know if I was fully ready until I had a date or two, and lo and behold, I enjoyed myself. Someone else may have discovered they weren't ready and stepped away from it for awhile. AGAIN, this happens to divorced as well as widowed. And AGAIN, I have sat across from more not ready divorced guys than I have not ready widowed - but I've dated more divorced guys.

I went on a afternoon coffee date with a widowed fellow who was introduced to me through mutual friends. It wasn't far into our coffee chat when I knew he wasn't remotely ready to date, even though he had been widowed a year longer than me. We had a nice chat, I had a relatively enjoyable afternoon but we didn't continue dating. I see him at functions and he's now with someone and seems happy. Good on him. And what did it cost me - about 3 hours of my time. But by the same token, I've wasted just as much if not more time with the divorced that weren't ready to date.

We all have red flags. If you don't want to date a widowed person or someone divorced 3 times, or a fat chick or a bald guy - don't..it's your life. But just change the word "widowers" to "divorced" in the OP and see how you feel.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 291
3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/26/2012 12:45:42 PM

We all have red flags. If you don't want to date a widowed person or someone divorced 3 times, or a fat chick or a bald guy - don't..it's your life. But just change the word "widowers" to "divorced" in the OP and see how you feel.


I would giggle--cause it wouldnt be something worth being bothered about--ie why I said you are taking it way to personally and being defensive for no reason--the OP went out with a widower months afterwards--no one could expect anything different and since it was her third widower it was completely ON HER!!!!

But when you try and pull other groups of people into --divorced or separated etc it just makes the whole thing worse--each person is an individual and no matter WHY they are on a dating site; they are here and deserve to be treated as an individual but as long as those who are defensive keep attacking other groups then how do you expect all this to stop???

Consider the source and move on--stop allowing people to push buttons about being widow/widower--if you feel you are ready who cares what anyone else thinks--live your life but stop with trying to pull over groups of people down--there is no reason--since we are all here --we are all single (hopefully).
 Poster_boy
Joined: 5/6/2007
Msg: 292
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3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/26/2012 12:56:11 PM
I think there is a huge difference in "dating" and dating to find. Dating a widow/widower is no different than dating any other person - no matter their status. BUT, "dating to find" is a whole different story! It has been said by very wise people that marrying a W is the marriage of three hearts. That is a tough thing to get into. And then there are issues of burial (where one gets buried and with who becomes a huge issue with some.) Will a widow/widower always be the widow/widower of their deceased spouse? Why? (I don't know - I'm just askin')

Divorced people don't have these issues. We come with our own set of problems!

Most widows over age 50 never remarry. 83%
Most widowers over age 50 do. 76% (+ -)
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 293
3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/26/2012 1:12:21 PM
^^^ And?

"According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:
The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%"

From Divorcerate.org

I think I'll just stay single.

But I do agree with this - "Divorced people don't have these issues. We come with our own set of problems! " I wish we were all perfect but we're not.
 wackadoodledoo
Joined: 4/14/2011
Msg: 294
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3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/26/2012 1:15:27 PM
There are issues with anyone that has experienced a loss either through death or divorce. Each of us have our own unique life experiences. That may translate to some as 'BAGGAGE.' I guess it all depends on ones coping skills how they deal with any of their experiences. It also depends on how the individuals involved in the relationship respond to the obstacles as well. There may be issues with one that has lost a spouse an d there may be issues with one that is divorced. Each has their own strings attached. So.... either take a risk or don't!!! It is up to each one of us to get our feet wet or not with whomever. Some make poor choices, some don't. Generalizations are an ignorant approach to viewing the world.!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 295
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3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/26/2012 1:16:44 PM

I would giggle--cause it wouldnt be something worth being bothered about--ie why I said you are taking it way to personally and being defensive for no reason--the OP went out with a widower months afterwards--no one could expect anything different and since it was her third widower it was completely ON HER!!!!

I disagree. This is something to be taken personally and those who are taking personally have every right to feel as they do. You take things here personally. Case in point:

But when you try and pull other groups of people into --divorced or separated etc it just makes the whole thing worse--each person is an individual and no matter WHY they are on a dating site; they are here and deserve to be treated as an individual but as long as those who are defensive keep attacking other groups then how do you expect all this to stop???

Why does it make things worse and why does it seem time and time again you're taking this personally? This is a discussion about the death of a spouse. Then someone threw in the divorce/separated stuff and the thread has evolved to a discussion about which is worse/better/easier to deal with/a no-go/etc. I personally wouldn't meet/date a separated person EVER. I don't give a ratz-azz why they are separated, they aren't single. PERIOD. Until they are? It matters to me. (Or I should say it mattered when I was single and looking to maybe not be anymore.)

Consider the source and move on--stop allowing people to push buttons about being widow/widower--if you feel you are ready who cares what anyone else thinks--live your life but stop with trying to pull over groups of people down--there is no reason--since we are all here --we are all single (hopefully).

And the very same could be stated for those who have multiple divorces under their belts. Who cares what others think? The answer would be entirely different however. The vast majority of people care why someone's been divorced 3, 4 or more times and rightfully so. If one can't remain married after two/three tries? That's no longer a coincidence or someone else's fault. There's something amiss.
[qu0te]Notice Im not saying the OP's attitude is correct--all I said is no matter how you are single--you are in fact now single and yet time and time again it is being expressed by the widow/widowers on this thread and others that they feel they are better or since their mate died they were or had experience a better type of love--NOT!
All love can be deemed "different." But for those who stood the test of time and lost a spouse to death? It is vastly different than divorce. I've been divorced. I've also lost the one person I love most on this planet. You mourn the loss of a marriage but when you mourn the loss of an entire life, a human being? That's drastically different than just going your separate ways. And the love is likely vastly different as well. I don't know many divorced people who can say, "I loved him/her until the very day the divorce was final and still do because we had a good life together. Good memories. It was so tragic a Judge told us we were no longer married." Death on the other hand? It's very likely someone did love the other person until the final moment and long afterward. Very different situation than divorce and VERY different than multiple divorces. I'm not saying a "better" kind of love ~ but it is different to love and lose to death, than to love and lose to divorce.

It is each and every individual that should be considered--not how they became single--and to judge a person CURRENT ability to be a good partner in life as better or more ready or basically anything is just a very stupid assumption if it is based strikely on why that person is now single

It should be a case by case situation. However? If you've been divorced 4 times, I'd personally question one's ability to handle longevity. The day to day stuff. The month to month/year to year things that go along with LTRs. On the other hand? A long term marriage/relationship that ends in death? Not only has that person gone through the day/day/month/month/year/year stuff ~ they've also had to see that person vanish off the face of the planet. That's a far cry different than divorcing and moving across town or to another city/state. That's permanently saying good-bye forever. Not until Christmas, not until a chance meeting on the street ~ it's good-bye forever. Personally? I've said it before here and I still feel it. I'd take the advice of those in this thread who've lost their spouse to death long before I'd take advice from others who are divorced just like I am. What can I learn from someone who's lived the same scenario I've lived? How to find a good lawyer maybe. On the other hand? What can I learn from someone who's been there til the last breath? Loads of things about longevity. But that's just how I see it. To each their own.
 azul14
Joined: 11/26/2010
Msg: 296
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3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/26/2012 8:20:05 PM
Thank goodness we all see it our own way. I have read parts of this thread, and agree that you shouldn't generalize all people under the same umberella. I only date people who are emotionally healthy and ready to leave the past where it belongs.

What jumps out at me on this thread are the one or two widowers who are so bitter and angry with the world in general that they jump into EVERY thread with negative angry tones. They alone would turn me off widowers with their negative self righteous attitudes.
 Drestin.Red
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 297
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3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/27/2012 7:15:50 AM
^^^^^ Ain't that the truth.
I posted saying I was not interested in dating W’s. The You’re Wrong, I’m Right brigade jumped in to bash me. After reading this thread I know I have made the right decision. It only takes a few rotten apples to ruin the whole barrel. You have solidified what I had been thinking. Some W’s can be just a touch emotionally unstable. Not the type of person I want to invite into my world.

VVVVV Well good for you, the world needs more special people like you.

I just hate that "IF" word.
IF I was a 6'4" trillionaire male, with a ding dong to my knees, I'd be on a yacht someone where out in the ocean with a group of pretty pretty girls I call friends. But hel l no, instead I'm sitting on my sofa arguing with the You're Wrong, I'm Right brigade. Life is just not fair.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 298
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3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/27/2012 7:24:43 AM
I posted saying I was not interested in dating W’s. The You’re Wrong, I’m Right brigade jumped in to bash me. After reading this thread I know I have made the right decision. It only takes a few rotten apples to ruin the whole barrel. You have solidified what I had been thinking. Some W’s can be just a touch emotionally unstable. Not the type of person I want to invite into my world.


If I followed that logic, I would have given up on divorced women (or women in general) a long time ago. But I refuse to stereotype and will continue to judge each person that comes into my life as the individual they are rather than lump them into one group or another.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 299
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3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/27/2012 7:41:30 AM
I am glad that I am years past the point where being a widow defines me.

I couldn't careless how others view widows/widowers. It doesn't factor into my life.

People either accept me for who I am or they don't. If they don't take the time to find out who I am, not what I am marital status wise so be it.

I watch people chase after widows/widowers who haven't healed yet. I hope they learn a lesson from it. If they don't learn to figure out if the other person is relationship ready, they will keep running into relationships that don't work out until they do learn (maybe).
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 300
3 Strikes - out. No more widowers !
Posted: 5/27/2012 8:14:52 AM
""But hel l no, instead I'm sitting on my sofa arguing with the You're Wrong, I'm Right brigade. Life is just not fair. "" Isn't that a bit of the pot calling the kettle black?

If we (and that includeds ALL posters on here) were all we thought we were we'd all be out living a wonderful life instead of b1tching, whining, snarking, commenting, etc. on a dating forum.
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