| | Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?Page 6 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) | | I've found, and been slightly scared by how agressively a lot of women chase NSA sex. Not personally chasing me I hasten to add, just female friends being a little more honest than I was comfortable with! | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?
Posted: 6/17/2012 9:29:18 PM | I agree 100%, we need some male input in this thread..I'd rather hear it from the person who had to take the initiative to show interest, act on that interest, create a foundation for their intentions and build up from there..Rather than hearing it from somebody who just had to respond and tag along for the ride.
The big thing on this site IS intention. So make them known and you'll pretty much instantly put yourself into the demographic you wanna be apart of.
The other big thing about this topic is that this act is, for the most part, far from casual for most woman. If you just wanna show up, squeeze and leave, then there are sites for that. But this site was created with the intention and creating, cultivating and maintaining relations with people of the opposite sex. Part of that relation is treating that person like a human being, but more so, a human being with significance in your life.
If woman wanted to just walk around and sling some vag, they would. And they do, for MONEY. (BAD)
But your not looking for prostiution, your looking for something casual. But that something casual has to stem from somewhere, maybe a meeting? Maybe a couple of meetings? Maybe try building friendship first and then using your intentions to start the route to casual encounter?
In any case, prositution or cultivating relationships, both have a currency, and a price. Respectively, Money and Time, and if your fresh outta both, you REALLY shouldn't be here. You should be out learning how to spend these 2 resources more effectively so you can have what you want, rather than just looking for some empty encounter.
So, OP, if you do happen to read this, i would log onto whatever explicit site you frequent, bust a nut, then sit down and come up with a brand new game plan, with all this non-sense, along with everyone else's helpful information. Think of all the information in this thread as 'Time'. A resource to spend. Use it. We all poured our own time into helping you spend yours more effectively, so don't be a goon about it. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?
Posted: 7/9/2012 3:35:31 PM | Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?
It isn't. It's just hard for men to realize that women are just as sexual as men but aren't as blatant about it for two reasons.
1. They don't have to be. Men are the aggressors and a femm can get laid by a guy way above her league whenever she wants. Why post it up on POF that she want's sex?
2. The dreaded "S" word. It is about the worst thing you can call a woman even if, as a man, you don't think it's so bad. She doesn't even want to think of herself as one even in a brief moment of weakness "horniness". That's why sex "just happens" as far as she is concerned. Pre-determined intent is everything. That's why you don't tell a woman to come over for any kind of physical intimacy. She's there to "watch a movie" with you.
Things will "just happen" if she likes you and no matter what she displays as intent on her profile. Got it? | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?
Posted: 7/9/2012 10:20:22 PM | If you are reasonably attractive and the chemistry is there, then you will find women who will have casual sex when they are drunk or high or just for kicks. You need to hang out at bars etc. You may find them on here, some do. Girls wont advertise the fact that they want a one night stand or casual on their profiles but if the attraction is there, then they will have sex early often. But you need to be wary of disease, other partners etc.
Easier to pay a prossie if you dont have time for a relationship. It is not a matter of being a good girl or bad, she just has to be up for it with you. If she likes you when she is sober and has sex with you then she more than likely will want something more. That is the way women are generally. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?
Posted: 7/9/2012 10:47:44 PM | Its possible but rare to have random casual encounters unless you are a stunning dude. But if its continuous yet casual, then there has to be some kind of friendship. Otherwise somebody better be getting paid :) Its hard to find anyone worth their salt to set up an "appointment" without having an intro/outro discussion.
In the past i have had casual encounters- it was a simple, meet at 830? Then we meet up, chat for a bit about things we had in common, handle business, then be on our ways. But it didn't start off casual. I had long term previous relations as in often interacted at work or other places but did not hang out regularly.
Its all about being lucky to meet someone with your mentality and as busy as you are. Its hard but its out there. Some women are too busy with their careers and just need a short term companion- instead of paying for it, they develop FWB
And of course there are feelings involved. No matter how casual they are, I always have feelings for those I am with. Its human nature. But if things get heated, one of you has to be able to control the affair and not lead it into unmanageable territory.
I have had issues where the women were cool with it at first but started catching romantic feelings. I had to re-iterate that we both agreed. If she could not control her emotions, we would cease casual encounters but still remain associates and on good terms. Its about communication. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?
Posted: 7/13/2012 9:19:35 PM | | It seem to be the double standard with women that if she actually admits to enjoying sex than she is a slut and has no credibilty, hence the guy isnt going to want her for an LTR. Then he will get a "good girl" who is a total frigid prude and marry her etc. Then **** about her being a crappy sex partner. I dont want an FWB.. sex to me is too precious to treat so casually, that doesnt make me prude. I am very open sexually with my parnters. I just prefer to not share it with people who want appreciate it and me. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?
Posted: 7/14/2012 8:30:00 AM | Its biology and most people these days are completely ignorant about it - feminists certainly are.
Women can only have one baby at a time. It ruins their bodies and they are extremely dependent on help while they are pregnant. So it follows that they are more selective on who they are going to reproduce with. Their ingrained sexual strategy is one of seeking QUALITY, not quantity. They want the best possible partner.
Men can impregnate as many women as they can. Our biological strategy is to spread our seed as much as possible.
For these INATE, BIOLOGICAL reasons, women are more selective about who they sleep with. Men compete, Women choose. That's why its an ACCOMPLISHMENT for a man to bed down many women (when they're not american sluts anyway), while a woman who sleeps around really isn't accomplishing anything since men will almost always say yes.
The confusion comes in when women inevitably project their sexuality onto men. You can see it all the time on their magazines. They think men should think like women and want to tell us that we should, rather than accepting men as they are. That is why so many women are bitter and lonely. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?
Posted: 7/14/2012 11:26:08 AM | Lots of great info given here, Op.
Primemover - excellent observations!
Op - pay attention to the advice given. It IS hard to find a woman for casual encounters. But, if you invest yourself to the process you will get there. If you can't do that, just pay for it directly! | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:38:43 AM | In my personal opinion and experience on POF...the irony is that I have come across more women who don't want a relationship and emotion and want it hot and quick while I am truly looking for a relationship and connection. The women who wanted it hot and quick definitely did not spell it out in their profile and it became apparent on the dates in person.
Sorry but when it comes to sex men are more upfront than women. I had a girlfriend you would think was a virgin and a prude... then when I was helping her move I moved a box I wasn't supposed to touch and it spilled and a arsenal of dildos and a few porno tapes fell out...definitely an eye opening experience. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:46:18 AM | For the guy who said that it is rare to have an easy time to find a woman for casual sex unless you are a stunning guy, you get the prize. You find out that women don't have to try hard at all to find a guy to sleep with. There are many women who are even quite overweight or maybe not so easy on the eyes who demand one or more of: tall, dark, handsome, fit, six-pack, well-endowed, etc. And they will get it (eventually). Just on a whim I decided to include on my profile that I preferred someone who was in great shape, long hair (preferably blonde), nice chest, nice ass, at least 5'7", and not overweight. I cannot believe the types of responses I got. Some of them were downright nasty. Not a single positive response.
So there you go, to the OP. There's a double standard. It sucks and I feel your pain. Unfortunately that's the way things go. If you're willing to wait it out, find someone you are attracted to and who wants to be with you, and be willing to chat with this woman on a semi-regular basis (and even hang out with her a few times...even if it's just to meet for a coffee in the middle of a work day for a break), then you might have some fun on this site. It's just part of the game. And if you don't learn how to play by the rules (as crappy as they may seem), then you'll lose in the end. And miss out on some awesome fun. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?
Posted: 7/18/2012 6:20:35 PM | | HELLO , LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT CRAIGLIST. MUST OF WOMEN GET IN THERE ARE LOOKING FOR MONEY OR SUGGAR DADDY'S, VERY BAD , I WILL SAY GO OUT BAR SCENE , MALLS, MOVIES ,ETC PLACES WHERE WOMEN ARE ALONE AND WITH OTHER FRIENDS. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?
Posted: 7/19/2012 12:03:17 AM | | dude if you want a piece of as$ hit up a.mega bar dont buy her drinks be your self an ask her iut for coffie dude its cake it just gets old . try meeting a girl on pof an not kissing her on the first date . then hang out for fun an do fim stuff togatjer . an you might find a winner | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?
Posted: 7/30/2012 3:04:08 PM | Women don't want a reputation as a s**t and would not want to advertise themselves as one, but want sex. So on her profile she will never put that she is looking for an intimate encounter and will always put don't contact me if you are looking for an intimate encounter, even if that's all she wants.
Now with internet dating women can have as many men as they want without getting a reputation. When she gets horny all she has to do is reply to a few messages and meet for a date, seduce the man, get her fix and then accuse him of taking advantage. No need to put in her profile she is looking for sex.
I've heard of men often meeting women from dating sites and having sex on the first date and it not going any further, yet every woman has 'must not have messaged people for intimate encounters' on their profile. I guess this is why there are so many messages being sent asking for it, maybe they are successful. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?
Posted: 7/31/2012 6:17:00 AM | @ tensail
most of your barely readable history of replies to certain questions an forums seems to all rotate around you thinking "FEMINISM" HAS cause of all the worlds troubles...sorry you cant handle a woman actually having a mind,,life,,opinion,,an rights in this world to do with her mind body an life as she pleases..
just because you have a d ick doesnt really mean s hit..an that is in general with some certain men who think with a mind set of women must bow down be submissive at all times an speak when spoken to an only do as the man pleases regardless if its NOT what she wants or who she wants..just take it because she is a woman,,an a man is a man because of a penis.. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?
Posted: 7/31/2012 7:11:58 AM | | If anything "feminism" has made dating much better/easier, unless your idea of a relationship is "owning a woman." I couldn't imagine dating 40+ years ago with stupid gender role sexism rampant. | |
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| Why is it so hard to find a girl for casual encounters?
Posted: 7/31/2012 7:03:06 PM | | Perhaps they don't want to sleep with every partner you can find for casual sex? In this day and age of diseases, it is ever more important to protect your health as well as your emotions in this situation. I am not sure I have met too many woman that really appreciate being treated like a piece of meat - any piece would do? | |
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