| | Relocation to another part of the country.Page 3 of 2 (1, 2) |
He stayed on to do 2 subjects he wanted to do and had to pick another 2 to fill the time up. He said that he wants to leave, I have told him that he won't be leaving until the year end so that he can finish his education at college. Even if he left he'd still have A/S qualifications (1/2 an A level.)
Come live up north, Foxy, everythings better here... Couldn't have put it better myself, come to Manchester. | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/29/2012 9:36:50 AM | Whitey just tried to email you babes. Cant get through those stringent filters you have! loL!
I couldn't move up north I dont know anyone lol | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/29/2012 9:38:53 AM | Well....I have been in sort of the same situation and did move....from Australia to here.....and did it just over 5 years ago when my son was 10 yrs old.
My mother's health was poor and she struggled to get through the hot summers there. My sister had been on holiday there with her kids and then come back here.....I felt really unsettled once they left and my son was missing them too. My son's dad in Australia had made no attempt to see him in over a year and my son's half brother and half sister were teenagers busy with their own lives and rarely in touch.
I woke up one morning and realised I REALLY just didnt want to be in Australia anymore. When I broached the subject of myself, my son and my parents moving back here my Mum and my son were thrilled. My dad didnt care either way...as long as he can read the paper, watch the 6 o'clock news and his meals are put in front of him when they should be he is happy anywhere.
My son's father was not so happy about the idea. I needed his signature on my son's Australian passport so he stalled signing it for months then one day asked "What are you doing with the 4WD when you leave?......" I said "I'm selling it"....He said "If you give it to me I can sell my car and then I'll have the money to go over to England on holiday and visit him."
I agreed to that and he signed the passport.
A few weeks before we left his niece crashed his other car and he was left looking really silly at 6ft 8in driving around in his girlfriends little Clio sized car.
So by the day we were leaving he was hanging out to be shot of us. I gave him the last few bits of furniture we hadnt managed to sell, he drove us to the airport in said 4WD....where I gave him the last of my Australian money....and told him the papers for the 4WD were in the glove box.
And although he keeps in touch with our son on FB he has never been over here.
I tried to get back there for a holiday last year but couldnt get the time off work....so July/August this year although work still wont give me the time off we WILL be going back to Australia for a 4 week holiday. I'll make it happen somehow :) | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/29/2012 9:49:07 AM | I've lived in the SW after relocating here 8yrs ago and find the 'pace of life' tediously boring and youngsters have no 'street smarts' not in the gobby way they just seem a little bit vacant and niave. This has it's own charms but I can honestly say it doesn't suit me.
Property prices (I'm in North Somerset 25 miles from Taunton) are pretty low and you can buy a 4 bed detached for £220k in a nice area, schools too are great. Not seen any street violence here but am sure it happens just on a far lower scale than the SE.
There are few job prospects though and factory work seems the only thing around, so am glad I work for a large multi-national that allows home working.
Personally I'd have made the move 10yrs back as is a lovely part of the country to raise small children!
Good luck in your decision. | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/29/2012 9:49:15 AM | I live and die by my "Gut Instinct " It has never once failed me with choices in all aspects of my life .
It is our very own inbuilt tool to give us the rite advice .It has allways been in my life but it took me a while to use it and not wonder what on earth it was before i made a bad choice .
Listen to your gut insinct it will show you the way forward every single time without failing you :)
Sit in a quiet room no music no tv no people around you and think off nothing . Your thoughts will show you the rite way and if not at least you may get respite from the banging choices inside your mind and heart. I do this mainly in the bath . The more we think the tougher it gets . Sometimes more advice is even more confusing asking others that do not know you :)
Good luck in your choices :) | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/29/2012 9:53:52 AM | | Thats because u live more than 75 miles away, an old restriction when I was still in the dating game, lol. Even though I've never met u personally, we've corresponded for about 4/5 years, via POF. So, I think I know u, lol. Manchester is where it's at, second to London. | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/29/2012 9:55:25 AM | Hi Foxy..................some good advice here hun. What I would add to the mix is, if you move to a new area, do you think you are confident/happy enough to be able to totally start again with making new friends etc, as eve though you may have family in the potential new area, you will still need a network of friends if your life is to become a happy one in a new place. I'm not suggesting I don't think you are able to do it at all hun but merely saying that perhaps, with feeling a bit down with all that has happened in the last year, perhaps waiting a small amount of time until you feel mentally and emotionally stronger might pay dividends.
Good luck hun and I hope we get to have that coffee before you go anywhere!! xx | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/29/2012 10:52:41 AM | .... sorry to hear you've had a bad time recently, OP. Life really can be pants sometimes!
So .... I see it like this, (as a mother of teenage sons myself) that by the age of 16/17 we become less important to our kids than their friends. Sure we provide board and lodge, but their peer group is so very important to them. Sure your lad can do a'levels, courses, apprenticeships anywhere in the UK, but I doubt he really wants to be away from his group of good mates. Bear in mind, that in the next few years he'll likely be flying the nest anyway. I'd suggest sitting tight until he finishes whatever education he's doing and then look at your options then. It may be that your boy will want to get a flat and move in with mates, or he may want to come with you.
If you have your heart set on moving right now, is there any option for your lad to live with his dad or other family members, so he can be near his education and mates?
:) | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/30/2012 11:03:02 AM | | Perhaps it's not your location that's getting you down, but something else. Maybe you should go and see your GP, maybe arrange to discuss things with somebody, it really can help and you might even discover that a move isn't what you need after all. | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/30/2012 11:34:33 AM |
I couldn't go without him. Just couldn't.
But spent another day feeling thoroughly miserable today. The lure is getting stronger...
Lee, you often say on FB how unhappy you are and I always hate reading it and recently you have had a really rotten run of luck but I do agree with the previous poster who said that yours and Jake's lives are two separate paths. My eldest is 22 now, when we first became FB friends she was the age Jake is now, see how fast it goes? He will choose his own way no matter where you are. Sometimes as a parent to be the best you can you have to put yourself first, his happiness will follow yours as will his misery. And geographically, you aren't actually going that far, he will keep in touch with mates for as long as he needs until he has new ones and his dad can travel, lots of dads have far further to go to see their kids.
I believe for your own happiness you do need a big change mate.
xxx | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/30/2012 11:52:20 AM |
Lee, you often say on FB how unhappy you are and I always hate reading it and recently you have had a really rotten run of luck but I do agree with the previous poster who said that yours and Jake's lives are two separate paths. My eldest is 22 now, when we first became FB friends she was the age Jake is now, see how fast it goes? He will choose his own way no matter where you are. Sometimes as a parent to be the best you can you have to put yourself first, his happiness will follow yours as will his misery. And geographically, you aren't actually going that far, he will keep in touch with mates for as long as he needs until he has new ones and his dad can travel, lots of dads have far further to go to see their kids.
I believe for your own happiness you do need a big change mate.
xxx
And he can come back this way on a coach and then once he passes his test in my car.
You are right Oh wise one.
Now just to get me boy round to my way of thinking x | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/30/2012 11:57:43 AM |
and his dad can travel, lots of dads have far further to go to see their kids.
Why should he? i'm playing devils advocate...i think foxy probably should move but is it fair to expect the dad to lump it and have to be doing a load of travelling? | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/30/2012 12:01:55 PM | If the son is doing his A levels then he doesnt have to move anyway
^^^^^ OMG how can you say not to pay attention to the ex - he might be her ex but he is still Jakes father and while it's not up to him to make the final decision and I think his comments are total crap, he can't be totally dismissed out of hand. It's a shame he didn't come up with something more constructive than telling her to get a boyfriend though
jesus wept, could you be any more anti-men?
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/30/2012 12:03:25 PM |
Why should he? i'm playing devils advocate...i think foxy probably should move but is it fair to expect the dad to lump it and have to be doing a load of travelling?
He wouldn't have to Travel woz. I have already spoken with Jake about this and said that his dad can pay for a coach ticket once a month and i will pay for another once a month.
He will be seeing his Dad once a fortnight then which is the same, if not more, than he sees him now. Since Jake got a little part time job he does work quite a few weekends.
Edit
If the son is doing his A levels then he doesnt have to move anyway
Why is that and how?
I have already said that I won't move without my son coming with me. | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/30/2012 12:10:59 PM |
Why is that and how?
I have already said that I won't move without my son coming with me.
I hadn't read that far yet! I don't have to read the whole thread first before i can comment on it you know.
anyway, if he's doing his A levls then he's around 18, so not a child, therefore doesn't have to go where you do.
If you wont move without him and he's staying where you are now to do them, then that's all the questions now answered, you wait till he's done his A levels then move | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/30/2012 12:20:35 PM |
So .... I see it like this, (as a mother of teenage sons myself) that by the age of 16/17 we become less important to our kids than their friends. Sure we provide board and lodge, but their peer group is so very important to them. Sure your lad can do a'levels, courses, apprenticeships anywhere in the UK, but I doubt he really wants to be away from his group of good mates. Bear in mind, that in the next few years he'll likely be flying the nest anyway
As somone with a 16 year old lad i can really identify with that, very true. | |
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Posted: 4/30/2012 12:24:48 PM | | I must be missing something here - you think I am 'Anti men' because I feel a father should have some consideration if he comes up with useful comments? | |
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Posted: 4/30/2012 12:33:12 PM |
I must be missing something here - you think I am 'Anti men' because I feel a father should have some consideration if he comes up with useful comments?
because it's not up to you to judge what he said in a conversation with the boys mother about her and HIS son | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/30/2012 12:39:27 PM | I relocated to the South West last year for much the same reasons as you.
3 of my friends have also left the South East and 5 more of them are planning moves this year, some of them are taking their children out of school.
I believe the only way is to ask your son how he feels about the move. One thing that is certain, he will be a LOT safer living in the South West than London. You probably already know this but avoid Bristol at all costs, it's the Birmingham of the South West.
Ask yourself why so many people are moving West then remind yourself when you are doubting yourself, people certainly aren't coming here for the weather.
Good luck with your move, I know for a fact you won't regret it. | |
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Posted: 4/30/2012 12:51:19 PM | Considering the poster mentioned her ex's comments were 'that she gets a man' and 'dyes her blond hair blond',or words to that effect which were not exactly productive in my opinion does not make me 'anti men'. My objection was that another poster said the father's opinions didn't matter because he was an ex, whereas I still saw him as being the boys father and changes to the father/son relationship should be considered.
However, if you choose to see me as anti-men then that is your view and you are entitled to it, I won't lose any sleep lol | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/30/2012 1:07:44 PM | Having previously moved to London in an effort to get a better education and a job, that didn't really work out as planned, as such I would be cautious about suggesting moving on the hope that one might get employment/etc.
As for crime, only the very far reaches of Scotland will you find peace and quiet, everywhere else in the country is too infected.
I would suggest thinking about self-employment solutions, having a few chickens and learning to barter with the locals..
Oh and in parts of Scotland there is a shortage of women :-)
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Posted: 4/30/2012 1:16:49 PM | | what ever you do foxy ,should be down to you and the childrean "me thinks" my ex left for another women "fine by me" felt a right prat as kids were gutted!! my 2 girls took it real hard! my lad then backed his sisters up (only 7 then) girls got beat up at school all the time came home crying most nite,s !! 3yrs down the line me and ex get on better now than when we was married!! the girls now get on with there mother but that took 2yrs !! lad is fine thinks its great as got 2mum,s (10 now) i want to move to the coast!! lad does to but have to wait till daughter finshes colleage first!! sometimes foxy its bet to take a step back look at the big picture ,talk with all the family and decide together, and see whats right for all of you!! (ex) included | |
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| Relocation to another part of the country.
Posted: 4/30/2012 2:15:40 PM |
As for crime, only the very far reaches of Scotland will you find peace and quiet, everywhere else in the country is too infected. Foxy can do anything. She has survived (an payed her stamp) in one of the most cut throat societies that exist. Bring it Leanne, Manchester welcomes u...BTW I have lifted the 75 mile radius, low. | |
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