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| | Do men over 50 really want the same?Page 5 of 8 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) | In any case, my position is the same as this:
... don't find ......out of shape men ....attractive but that's what 95% of the men in my age group look like. .... I don't care about the color or lack of the hair on his head, but I do care just as much as he does about being fit and healthy
Fit and healthy people do not usually have average bodies. And yet you have no picture and describe your body type as average. Are you being understated about your appearance or do you have an average body for a 60 yr old woman and expect to attract a 60 yr old man with a body that is far better than average.
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 5/5/2012 7:21:39 AM | ^^^I have posted many photos, including full body. However, I don' t need to as I am not looking. Also, due to my profession, I don't like to have my picture on the internet. I have a man in my life, a fit, active man whom I met on a 10 mile hike over a year ago. One of our compatibilities is that we like the same type of outdoor activites. We are cross country skiers, when we ski.
Over the past 9 years, I have traveled regularly, solo until the past year or so, with a back pack, independently. I dislike the categories on this site as it pertains to just about everything and fill them out as 'other' or 'average' or whatever because of that. I think fit and healthy people do indeed have average bodies, to me, that would be what fit and healthy means: what a body should be. I am not an athelete nor a gym rat. I am probably being understated about myself as far as the categories go because I don't like them and because I have no need to prove anything. | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 5/5/2012 7:48:33 AM | I think fit and healthy people do indeed have average bodies, to me, that would be what fit and healthy means: what a body should be
That is a very intersting take on the word average since your perception is that 95% of the men your age are out of shape. With the same line of reasoning maybe I could say that an average woman body is like that of Marylin Munroe's in her prime because that is what I would like them to look like even though 95% or more of the female population does not look like that.
average means what the medical profession says is average. Healthy, height and weight proportionate
I don't think you will find too many physicans who would call the average 60 yr old american healthy. On average the average american population is overweight and unhealthy but they are of average health and body type.
I have no problem with the term average but if you think that 95% of men your age are out of shape and unhealthy then you are saying that average is out of shape and unhealthy. I personally feel that average means out of shape and unhealthy because that is what the average person is so I think we actually do have a similar perception on what average is. | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 5/5/2012 7:56:27 AM | | I think that a man wants to find a woman that he is compatable with. For me, I am more comfortable with women closer to my own age because we have much more in common more often than not. As far as the physical relationship goes, women of my own age or within a five year window or so are wonderful lovers, they are confident in themselves and are confident in their own ability to enjoy and share rewarding intimate moments. No bath tub in the yard for me ;-) | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 5/5/2012 8:08:37 AM | That is a very intersting take on the word average since your perception is that 95% of the men your age are out of shape. With the same line of reasoning maybe I could say that an average woman body is like that of Marylin Munroe's in her prime because that is what I would like them to look like even though 95% or more of the female population does not look like that. To me, as far as weight goes, average means what the medical profession says is average. Healthy, height and weight proportionate. In the old days, the stats I read used to say something different for older people; now they don't differentiate based on age, only height. This is a good thing. To be fit and healthy is what a person should be. There is a range in that, depending on what any one organization says, but within that range is what is healthy and fit, and the range is not that great.
I think it's interesting that you have a problem with the term 'average.' I understand that a lot of people complain that it is used by people who are what is considered quite over weight, not average. However, that is not a reason to decide it means over weight. The terms curvy or volupuous used to mean, at least I thought so, a woman who is shapely, but now it means fat because so many who are very overweight have used the term. So, I wouldn't put down curvy. Marilyn Monroe was curvy/voluptuous, imo.
since your perception is that 95% of the men your age are out of shape As far as the 95%, I wasn't intending to be referring to only weight; it's a lot more than that. It is the whole package, how he takes care of his body and his mind, his lifestyle, his attitude and vision. I don't see people as packages of meat. I don't go by what a scale says when I look at a man. I've always and only been attracted to a certain body type. Too thin I don't like. Too pudgy I don't like. Average I like. What average used to mean, anyway. | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 5/5/2012 8:55:39 AM | I'm 78, slim, trim and very active. I hear all this confusion about age differences and older men wanting younger women. My main reason for wanting to date a younger woman is most women I've met near my age have let themselves go, have dating attitudes from the 50's and still think they're hot while carrying 35 pounds of fat, caked on makeup and floppy clothes to cover their dumpling bodies. Can't get turned on with all that going. Met one woman for coffee and never could determine her physical condition since she was wearing a tent. Guess that should be a tip off. Brutal, but honest.
Bill | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 5/5/2012 11:58:15 AM | The average American woman is 5’3.8”, weighs 163 lbs. BMI 27.9, which is overweight.
The average American man is 5’9.3” and weighs 190 lbs. BMI 28.1, which is overweight.
http://www.usatoday.com/tech/columnist/aprilholladay/2006-12-04-size-age_x.htm
This 'average'is the average weight of people, not doctor recommended what should be, but what is.
And according to these figures (pun intended), the 'average' American man is just as overweight as the 'average' American woman. In fact, the men are a teensy bit more overweight (higher BMI), on average, than the women. Ain't that a kick in the extra large size Levis? | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 5/5/2012 12:23:25 PM | BMI calculations do not take into account type of weight a person is carrying. At 210 and 5ft 10 in I am obese by BMI calculation but I have a lower body fat content than many men who are my height and 160 lbs. I would imagine a woman the average american woman would typically have significantly higher body fat content than the average american male by virtue of her proportionally lower muscle and bone mass.
Overweight is about your body fat content in terms of % of your weight and not about just height and weight. | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 5/5/2012 2:23:33 PM | 95% of men in 50's out of shape? Not really. I'd lower the figure to 75% or so. A lot of my hikling and running partners are quite active. Perhaps level of fitness is more of a regional and cultural thing than a statement that crosses wide demographics.
When my girlfriend and I met on Match.com her numero uno criteria was that a guy be athletic. She's a fit, active woman and wanted the same in a partner. We guys have it relatively easy...women want us to be fit, hygenic and respectful...all variables we have control over. I'm an average looking guy but my gal says that I could be a two out of ten on the handsome scale and it doesn't matter to her as long as she can't find any fat to pinch on my stomach. | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 5/5/2012 2:50:14 PM |
I cannot believe u men talking so bad about women over 50. Like we sit home knitting all night. That's why I date younger men. They appreciate me as a person more. They aren't trying to recapture their youth by trying to date arm candy so othetr ppl will think he still has it.
Self proclaimed hypocrisy! LOL
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Now Jersey Girl you seem to want someone 5 years younger but only 2 years older, why? because you can, right?
you're smoking hot and more power to you!
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The long/short hair demand is just plain moronic.
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I did not want to hurt anyone's feelings with my post, it was "mostly" tongue in cheek. It's more about my way of life, am I just current or immature? Don't really know myself. Please don't lump me in with anyone that would make disparaging remarks about a persons appearance, at any age.
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As for what us old guys bring to the table: I bring a gut that can go right "on" the table, now that's dead sexy. | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 5/5/2012 2:59:48 PM |
As for what us old guys bring to the table: I bring a gut that can go right "on" the table, now that's dead sexy
lol, I'll tell you what is sexy, a man with a sense of humour who can laugh at himself too...nice one! | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 5/5/2012 11:27:30 PM | 95% of men in 50's out of shape? Not really. I'd lower the figure to 75% or so. Okay. I'll accept that, as far as physical fitness. And I imagine the same goes for women. More than half out of shape.
There is also mental 'fitness,' i.e.: attitude, personality, character, etc., which is very subjective; however, the 'I'm a grumpy old man, crotchety curmudgeon attitude seems to be quite prevalent, as if some men have been waiting all their lives to assume that role. Or the 'I've lived a lonnnnng time now, been everywhere & done everything (except what isn't worth bothering with), know everything and have no intention of giving any credence to any ideas or experiences I haven't already put my stamp of approval on.' And more of the same. Again, women can be just as tiresome; not saying it is a gender issue, more of a thing about people thinking a certain way because they are older.
BMI calculations do not take into account type of weight a person is carrying. At 210 and 5ft 10 in I am obese by BMI calculation but I have a lower body fat content than many men who are my height and 160 lbs. Such discreptancies can occur, but are not typical. I met a man online and then in person who said he ws five-ten and abotu 210 pounds. Said he was so heavy because he had a big bone structure and a certain type of build. That he'd been a serious athletic in his youth and was still in good shape. He looked okay in his pictures, but in person he was round shouldered and pudgy, very, all over and had a very, very big pot belly. He was not at all in good shape.
My point about the weight averages for men and women in the States is that it just becomes so annoying when men go on and on about how the women are old and fat and out of shape, when it is them too. So stop pointing the finger. In any case, it's not my personal issue. I'm doing okay and my partner is too and we do a lot together--recently spent a week in Europe walking for hours everyday, much of it in very hilly areas. To me, fit and healthy means being able to do things like that, to travel frequently (not cruises or guided tours), and to have good health and well being. Weight is only one aspect of that. People who smoke but are slim, or who drink heavily but are slim, are not, imo, fit and healthy. | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 5/6/2012 3:43:25 PM | There is one thing about this thread that I find a bit amusing and that is as to how people feel entitled to actually tell another person who to go out with.
I can say that if there are cougars out there my age that only date young buff guys, more power to them!
If for instance I only want to date 25 year old girls, but not just one but two at once why would that bother a random woman, that doesn't even know me? | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 6/11/2012 7:16:49 PM | | For the guys looking for that younger babe, I chalk it up to midlife crisis. Let me share an experience I had. A friend talked me into going to a POF party at a club. There were several middle-aged attractive women there. A guy standing next to me at the bar made some comment about all the matronly women there who held no intester for him. I listened politely as he describe his dilemna. He was 49, overweight, had the balding comb over thing going, was a high school teacher, and had full custody of a 15-year-old who had been in a heap of trouble. But this guy was honestly convinced that somewhere out there was the twenty-something hottie he just knew was looking for him. And with all he had to offer! I can't believe they aren't knocking his door down! | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 6/11/2012 8:14:16 PM | op, i have to say that i agree - and i find it's not just on dating sites but in real life too.
i have this romantic notion concerning an older couple (in their 70's) that i know that married late in life and are so happy together. they have respect for each other, their own interests as well as shared interests. they are active, loving towards each other.
yet i find that most men my age (50's) are interested in 20 or 30 year old women.
it's just the way it is.
i am in shape, don't take any medications, am smart and active - don't have any ailments lol
i'm taking this dating site stuff as a learning experience and have fun with it.
i do have hopes of finding someone to share the good times and not so good times with..but i'm betting that will come through "real life".
there must be some men on the planet for you and i that are interested in someone sexy and kind and with life experience in their own age range. | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 6/11/2012 9:14:12 PM | | I'm only 45 but I can tell you that meeting a woman my age is very hard and I dont expect it to get easier. For what ever the reason is. It's always easier to start a conversation with someone who is younger. They are more open while older women it's easier to pull teeth then have conversation. They come across very unintresting to talk to anyone. It feels as if guys there age are not good enough as if they are looking for something real speicle. I go to alot of meet up hikes and other get toghers.. Im not the only man who thinks and feels like it. If a woman wants to meet guys her age then she needs to make it easier for us to talk to you or god forbid you actualy start talking to a guy and show some real intrest in him... Thats what younger women do. Thats what you used to do when you were younger, More open to meet people With alot less expectation from the guys... | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 6/11/2012 10:03:27 PM | Hell, I'm 53 and don't find balding, grey-haired, out of shape men in their 50's attractive but that's what 95% of the men in my age group look like. I don't want to date someone who looks like my father.
You won't be dating anyone who looks like your dad if you don't wish to because you don't need to. You are very attractive, with a youthful appearance; hence you have options. I am in that 5% set outside the one you mentioned. I too have options and don't wish to date women my age who look like my mom; and a lot of them do.
I'm happy to consider dating the ones that have taken good care and have been aided by favorable genetics.
It does not seem at all out of place for a man 50+ to date women 15-20 years his junior, IF he still can project virile masculine energy. It only looks weird when he can no longer can and is still trying. Oh and I don't need to show any friends that "I still have it"... because I actually do still have it and they know it( not that I care really).
p.s. I think the OP's question has been adequately answered... NO, we don't all want the same. | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 6/11/2012 10:13:19 PM | I'm only 45 but I can tell you that meeting a woman my age is very hard and I dont expect it to get easier. For what ever the reason is. It's always easier to start a conversation with someone who is younger. They are more open while older women it's easier to pull teeth then have conversation. They come across very unintresting to talk to anyone. It feels as if guys there age are not good enough as if they are looking for something real speicle. I go to alot of meet up hikes and other get togethers. Im not the only man who thinks and feels like it. If a woman wants to meet guys her age then she needs to make it easier for us to talk to you or god forbid you actualy start talking to a guy and show some real intrest in him... Thats what younger women do. Thats what you used to do when you were younger, More open to meet people With alot less expectation from the guys...
"I'm only 45 but I can tell you that meeting a woman my age is very hard ... " And yet, on these forums, women in their 40's are constantly lamenting the fact that men their age are not interested and are interested in younger women. Maybe you just don't appeal to women in your age range.
Are these younger women who are easy to start a conversation with interested in dating you, or are they just being friendly? I know when I was younger, I found it easy to start a conversation with a man I was not interested in, especially if I felt he would realize there was no way he could misinterpret my friendliness as interest in him. It may be these young women are more open to engaging in conversation with you because they think you would NOT think they are interested in you because of the age difference.
As an older woman now, it is less complicated for me to be friendly with much younger men because they are less likely to misinterpret my friendliness as sexual interest. If I am outwardly friendly with a man nearer my own age, it's more likely he will think I'm interested in him, which is something I don;t want as I'm not available, and also something I wouldn't want if I were available but didn't find him attractive.
Thats what you used to do when you were younger, More open to meet people With a lot less expectation from the guys... I don't think this applies to all women. It's a generality. Some women are shy, some are very selective, etc.
If you are going to singles meets and women your age are not being friendly and welcoming your approach, I'd assume it is because they are not attracted to you. I met my SO on a hike, with a hiking club, not a singles club. On that particular day, we were two of the three single people there in our age group and just sort of gravitated to each other having a similar outlook on things that were talked about in the general discussion among the group, and also because we are about the same age.
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:36:37 AM | This thread is a microcosm of a lot of male/female 'communication'.
Classic female concern: 'My guy doesn't express his feelings. I wish we could communicate better'
Her: Let's talk...tell me what you are thinking...what you 'really' feel.
Him: I like sexy vibrant women who dress up like hotties, have long hair and want to go skinny dipping at midnight on a work night. She can be older as long as first and foremost she sees herself as my sex partner rather than mom or grandma.
Her: That's not right because of blah, balh, blah....double standard...blah, blah,
Him: I thought you aked me what I feel and not what I 'should' feel.
Guys learn early in life to rarely actually express themselves when asked by their woman a question like 'what do you want in a woman', etc. Women 'think' they are asking a question but what they really need is feedback confirming what they 'want' to hear. Guys are masters at answering these questions the way we all answer questiions on a job application ...'what are they wanting me to answer?' However, on a forum like POF most of us have no reason to no reason to soften an answer unless we have some need for other posters to like us. In real life if our girlfriend gets her hair cut a bit short and asks us if we like it. We say ' Sure, it's fine' when actually thinking 'what the hell did you do that for!'. Many guys like women with long hair... and are jumped on for this preference. Right or wrong I can no more prefer a woman with short hair as as I can want a vanilla ice cream rather than chocolate. | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:41:03 AM |
when asked by their woman a question like 'what do you want in a woman',
Isn't the answer to this question usually "my penis"? | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:47:42 AM | If dating with a relationship in mind, my preferred age range is from at most 10 years younger to a few years older. Someone would have to be extraordinarily compatible for me to venture outside that range.
If dating just for fun and social contact, I don't care about age, and will date any woman who wants to date me as long as there's something in common and mutual attraction. I've dated women from 13 years older to about 25 years younger, and they've usually approached me. | |
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| Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 6/12/2012 7:49:05 AM |
be aware that in any given group of guys, 9 out of 10 prefer a woman with long, sexy hair
Just to comment this, I had hair about a week ago that was not quite shoulder lenght. Got sick and tired of the heat, and the fact that my mother kept telling me I looked like a homeless guy LOL.
So, I cropped my hair up short, and the results are, MOST of the people who told me it looked great were either men, or women over 50, and for the younger ones...most of them were like "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH YOUR BEAUTIFULL HAIR?!?"
So yeah, I'd think it's a safe statement to make lol. | |
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