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| | Definition of FWB,FB,Good FriendPage 2 of 3 (1, 2, 3) |
windowgarden:I don't think you are a FWB however, it's been to long. You ARE in a relationship. A FWB things is just sex.
There was someone on the forum that defined a FWB as just a booty call at like 10 or 3 in the morning..Something like that.
A FWB thing is not just sex. You can't be a FRIEND with Benefits without being friends too. Then maybe you're the type of person who doesn't differentiate between mere acquaintances and friends. In the new FaceBook world just because I friend you doesn't make you truly an friend. A true FwB is someone I would be a friend with whether we are have sex or not. A FB (f*ck buddy) or Booty Call, isn't a friend but merely an Acquaintance whom I'm having sex with. | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/5/2012 6:05:37 PM | OP
If you called him to bail you out of jail and he hung up on you..."FB".
If he comes and bails you out-it's AT LEAST "FwB".
If hes' sitting in the cell next to you saying "Damn! That was FUN! When can we do this again?"
HE'S A KEEPER!!...in whatever social construct you and he agree on.
Cindy O | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/15/2012 8:33:00 PM | In my opinion, Friends with benefits, and FBuddies, do not meet each other's kids, friends or coworkers, and don't go to barbques or parties. They get together only for the sexual benefits.
They have an arrangement where they get together for mutually enjoyable sex because there is no one in their life that they desire for a romantic relationship that will grow toward commitment.
They do not keep in touch daily , they only text or call to arrange the next hook up.
They don't have an exclusive sexual relationship, knowing that if a partner with more of what they want for a permanent relationship comes along they are free to explore those options.
the urban dictionary defines friends with benefits as "Two friends who have a sexual realtionship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogomous relationship or any kind of commitment. A relationship where a man and a woman enjoy having sex with one another, but do not see each other as potential relationship material."
A fvck buddy is" Often used to describe two people who use each other solely for sexual gratification and nothing else. Usually this is a sexual relationship that still allows for each partner to seek sexual and emotional relationships with other people (hence, no attachments) but can rely on each other for a quickie or a booty call "
Since you have met his kids, friends, some coworkers and attended parties and barbques together , in my opinion you do not meet the criteria for a friend with benefits, or fvck buddy, you are a girlfriend, but not a very clingy one.
You do not mention if you have discussed anything like being monogamous or exclusive, and with your busy life you are not in a hurry for a full time commitment.
Who cares how it looks to the outside world, if it works for you and you are happy that is all that matters.
You are on no one's time table and only you know what you want out of this relationship. Enjoy what you have and let it evolve at its own natural pace. | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/16/2012 12:23:06 AM | I will share with you what _my_ definitions of the various relationship types are and, support the definition with the level of emotional involvement characteristic in each one. Based on the level of emotional involvement between you and your SO, you can figure out the category in which I would consider your relationship to be in.
FB - (Fvck Buddies)
a Fvck Buddy is someone we just met or someone we are, at best, acquainted with. a FB "relationship" is one where two people use each other's bodies solely for sexual gratification. There is little to no emotion involved. There is no commitment of exclusivity or longevity in this type of relationship, it may end as soon as the F is done. FB are rarely invited to family events (if ever.) Additionally, if any of the participants have kids, it is very rare for the kids to ever meet the FB.
FWB - (Friends With Benefits)
a FWB relationship is one where the participants are _genuine_ friends. Genuine friendships are not easy to make and they do require nurturing over time. A FWB relationship is inherently monogamous/exclusive, based on trust and genuine mutual caring. Before the participants start engaging in sex, a significant amount of time is invested building a friendship. This type of relationship usually ends amicably per mutual accord after an indefinite amount of time. There is no commitment from the participants to invest effort into making it "permanent" (merge lives) but, it may happen on rare occasions. One of the participants may invite his/her friend to family events such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. Additionally, the friend will commonly be acquainted with the kids (if any) and, may even help them with their homework, be a math tutor, teach them how to play chess or other games and play together.
Good Friend or Genuine Friend.
a FWB without sex. Everything else applies.
"Committed Long Term Relationship" - Phase I - FBH - (Fvck Buddies with Hope)
These are the most common type of relationships. They are also the ones that are "politically correct"/"socially accepted"/"meet my parents" type of relationships. In these relationships the participants engage in sex more often than not _without_ first becoming friends. They engage in sex because of emotional passion, physical attraction and chemistry. They are usually characterized by the fact that the participants start with genuine intentions of building a "permanent" type of relationship (presumably marriage or a variation thereof.). After the initial emotional passion and chemistry have been incinerated in the bedroom, the participants truly get to know each other and, attempt to build a permanent "Romantic Best Friendship". This goal is attained only in rare occasions. The participants are invited to family events and are actively involved with the kids (if any). These relationships end while in their Phase II as defined below.
"Committed Long Term Relationship" - Phase II - HFB - (Hopeless Fvck Buddies)
These relationship usually come from Phase I above. The participants never really became friends and their objective of building a Romantic Best Friendship has failed but the relationship has not ended yet. Without a friendship nor romance as foundation, the relationship continues for some time without hope (HFB) until one of the participants' patience and/or tolerance runs out or, when one of the participants finds a new partner who may be a FB or a new FBH. The reason the relationship does not end at Phase I is because the participants are reluctant to go back to being sexless in POF seeking another FBH and trying again. These relationships, more often than not, do not end amicably. After the breakup the participants often have to take a hiatus from the dating scene to "get themselves back together".
"Eternal Bliss" - RBF - (Romantic Best Friendship) - RPR - (Rational Passion Relationship)
These relationships usually come from FBH - Phase I and, on somewhat rare occasions from FWB. It is achieved by those who manage to become true friends after the initial emotional passion and chemistry have been incinerated in the bedroom or, by those who had started as true friends and unexpectedly ended up here. They hold hands, cuddle and spoon until death do them apart. Unfortunately, they are getting increasingly rare and, there is no known method to reach them. | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/16/2012 5:04:01 AM |
honestly I don't have much more time to give...and at 55 yrs old, who wants to do that anyway,
If that's the case, why would you want more than an fwb or fb? If you want more than that, you have to be willing to make each other more of a priority that you want to make him or he, you. What's the problem with just accepting it for what it is (other than some notion that there's something wrong with an fwb or fb)? | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/16/2012 4:16:47 PM | | and don't forget LAT (Living Apart Together) which is a couple in an intimate relationship who do not live together. | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/16/2012 7:48:12 PM | | DEar Smilinin.......EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP? hhahahahah, not once has he ever said he wanted to be exclusive, or he has never introduced me as a GIRLFRIEND. I'm on POF because I'm single, not married, not engaged, not exclusive. there is no ring on my finger, In other words I'm a free women, and can do what I want! | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/16/2012 8:19:56 PM |
I'm on POF because I'm single, not married, not engaged, not exclusive. there is no ring on my finger, In other words I'm a free women, and can do what I want!
Based on what you said above, that falls squarely into FB. | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/16/2012 8:31:36 PM | I don't think you are too free if you are only seeing him.
Sounds like he has a great thing with you.
Are you happy with the arrangement? | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/16/2012 8:44:59 PM | Dear Stray Cat.......check out my last post "Men with ADD", it will give you more insight about him.
I have to say I'm happy with the arrangement, BUT not happy with his drinking, heavy smoker now, curt remarks, has ADD, is seperated, can be flirtatious, likes to chat up the 30 yr olds: but the kicker is that I have feelings for this guy, wished I hadn't then of course it would be sooooo easy to kick him to the curb. Do any forum posters even understand about having feelings for someone~? | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/16/2012 8:51:20 PM |
Do any forum posters even understand about having feelings for someone~?
I'm sure a lot of us do. A lot of us have also learned the painful way that the longer one remains in such a relationship the more painful it gets.
Basically, pain now or more pain later. Those are the choices. | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/16/2012 9:36:11 PM | Yes we understand about having feelings for someone.
Sucks if it isn't reciprocated.
You have three options:
1) Discuss your feelings and see if...he can get there....
and date you you as you desire. If so, all good.
Be happy.
2) If he doesn't.....suck it up cus how things are now...
may well be how they will always be with him.
(at least until he is divorced and free himself to expand his options.)
3) or move on sooner when the pain is less and you are younger
then waiting till the pain is worse and you are older.
I have been in your shoes.
and tried all three options at one time or another.
I have found if option one doesn't work,
the third is the least painful.
good luck. | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/17/2012 7:18:31 AM |
So the census here on the forums has "labeled" me a FWB.
A bit of a different angle on the OT-
^^^^^^^^^
This is the opening sentence of the topic.
Perhaps it is the LABEL-what other people think!- that is what bothers the OP, rather than the nature of her involvement with this man?
I have to make the comment, that IMO/IME, when it comes to dating/romance/relationships,
there are always going to be people who misinterpret, mis-identify, or just plain disapprove of any involvement short of official marriage or pre-marriage. yes, even in this day and age there are people who disapprove of cohabitation without marriage.
Since the OP-and I mean no disrespect to her with this observation and inquiry--seems to be developing the perception that PoF forumites don't know what it's like to have feelings for someone, why should it matter what the "(cons)census here on the forums" happens to be?
Look, if you enjoy spending time with the guy, having sex with him,being his "ummfriend" (LOL)-why worry about it. Since you are here on PoF and you state that you ARE looking, I don't think you are asking us how to get this guy to committ. If that IS what you are asking I don't think you should be trying to obtain a committed relationship with the guy-but that is just my opinion.
Given the set of personality,the emotional make-up, and the lifestyle of the gentleman in question as reported by the OP in this and other threads, I think the OP would be much better served to KEEP him as FwB and terminate that arrangement if she happens to meet someone who is a solid "real relationship" candidate.
I do not personally support having other sexual partners if one already has a FwB-if you want to" change lobsters and dance"(Yes, somebody should take away ladyc4's copy of "Alice in Wonderland",LOL)-fer pete's sake-change lobsters!-it just seems to me that trying to juggle more than one concurrent sexual partner would be more trouble than its' worth.
But, if the OPs' core issue here is simply that a bunch of strangers on a dating site forum have "labeled" her a FwB,I say "so what"?
However, it does take a fair degree of emotional security and self-esteem to participate in a "non-standard" type of sociosexual involvement. Worrying about some "conscensus" would tend to belie that level of security and self-assurance.
OP, if you are happy with this arrangement, I say that you should simply carry on. If you do in fact want to pressure for something more, a heavy drinker/smoker with (untreated?) ADD... IMO, you are courting disaster.
If it bothers you so much to not be identified as this mans' offiial girlfriend, if you are genuinely troubled by having strangers label you as FwB, then probably you should end the involvement with this guy and keep looking for
the real deal.
OP, do you REALLY have feelings for this man, or is this a case of "better than being alone"? I think that FwB has it's place in the sociosexual spectrum,but if you are positioned and able to engage in a full-fledged relationship, I think hanging onto this guy is going to dilute your focus.
Yeah, I know, it sounds like i'm telling you about 3 different things, dudn't it? Actually I'm not TELLING you anything, I'm just offering my thoughts and it is up to you what you make-or don't make- of them.
Cindy O | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/17/2012 4:31:07 PM | An FWB (friends with benefits) or FB (fook buddy) is when you are good friends with someone and you scratch each other's itches when neither of you are romantically involved elsewhere. A BF/GF (boyfriend/girlfriend) is someone you are seeing exclusively in a romantic way. A BC (booty call) is when a person will sleep with you but not get serious with you. A ONS (one night stand) is sex with someone you never plan to see again, and a BFF (best friends forever) is that someone you talk to about all your FWB's, FB's, BF/GF, BC's and ONS's.
And what ever it is that you have, OP...if it ain't broke, don't mess with it. Don't worry, be happy.... | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/17/2012 7:35:49 PM | I don't think we need to label things. What matters is this: are you happy with the interaction between the two of you, and are you getting your needs met?
And don't let other people set the standards for what you should be doing with your life. What's they would do is not necessarily what you would do. | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/17/2012 7:49:49 PM |
and a BFF (best friends forever) is that someone you talk to about all your FWB's, FB's, BF/GF, BC's and ONS's.
LOL!!! And your post should probably be on wiki-something! | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/17/2012 8:24:46 PM | | Hahaha...these days I'd rather be with my BFF's than any of the other acronymns. As for publishing the post, I'll have to see if there is a Wikistupidia...ROTFLMHO | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/18/2012 6:27:54 PM | | At least to me FWB, FB and One nighters are all somewhat different. While I have never been involved in one a FWB requires a "FRIEND" to obtain the benefits. The others don't. A FWB is a mini relationship in the works. | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/18/2012 7:35:35 PM |
Looks like the OP has left the forums...
ottgatman ...
With all the threads that OP has started about this man
maybe this thread may have given her some answers on where she stands
(because the explanations were very well done)
and she's now got to make some decisions.
Or she doesn't want to take more flake. | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/19/2012 10:50:01 PM | | Yeah! Sounds like two people who have what they need the most. Don't worry about it, and do us all a favour and stop bragging about it! Lucky lady. | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 7/22/2012 4:21:09 PM | | Seems like a great relationship to me. I wish I could get so lucky. Someone that thinks I am worth the time for a call and a text during the week and a get together every Saturday night. What's not to like about that? If you enjoy your time together that's all that matters. Why do you need to put a label on it? | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 7/22/2012 9:20:41 PM | ^^^ Well, there’s… ‘his drinking, heavy smoker now, curt remarks, has ADD, is separated, etc . . . ’
But I agree about the structure – it’s got good bones. | |
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| Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 7/23/2012 8:21:30 AM | well this is only my opinion but I think it is more along the lines of an exclusive relationship..it just happens that because of your busy lives you only see each other once a week.. but if you have met his family that is more serious than a fwb , I think..and def more serious than a fb and good friends as well.
and like other posters have said, if you are happy then just enjoy it..I think people like to label other people so that they can tell where they themselves fit in, you know what I mean? | |
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