| | Friends, girlfriends and a nasty message...Page 3 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | i have been in a similar situation w/ a man who i had dated for 3 yrs... we drifted into being simply friends... he met a woman who he eventually married. she felt uncomfortable about his maintaining contact w/ me... even though i had moved to another city she felt threatened by our telephone contact every few months. it was difficult to let go but i knew that i needed to honor her request... if i was in her position i would likely feel the same way. so we went our separate ways... recently i have reconnected w/ him on FB... he is divorced and now single. we chat from time to time and i am pleased that i was able to move on. woman need to respect & honor each other. my advice... move on. | |
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| Friends, girlfriends and a nasty message...
Posted: 5/12/2012 6:25:53 PM | NOTHING even vaguely sexual has happened, AT ALL, for at least two years, and even thinking about him sexually feels incestuous and wrong.
This is EXACTLY why I don't let myself get pidgeoned into the 'friend zone'.
On another note...how could he "break up with you" if you two were just "friends"? If you have this much emotion vested in someone to where this is an issue of concern...perhaps one of you should've gone the extra mile to building the 'physical chemistry'. Friendship...REALLY STRONG friendship is one of the strongest foundations of a relationship. To be honest...the other stuff is easy (which is why so many people choose to do it first).
A few too many brewskies, a night in a hip hop dance club and "coffee" at one or the other's place would've ironed that whole "incestuous and wrong" thing right out. | |
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| Friends, girlfriends and a nasty message...
Posted: 5/12/2012 6:26:09 PM | | OP you may be a good friend (ex lover or otherwise) but she is who is going to be spending probably the rest of his life with. She comes first. You = friend...HER = Wife. I think it's pretty disrespectful of you to still want to contact him. You are being selfish. If you wanted the best for him, let him have his relationship. You actually have no say in it. He also needs to respect his soon to be wife's feelings about the situation if he really wanted it to work out. This has nothing to do with controlling another person. It's all about respect. | |
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| Friends, girlfriends and a nasty message...
Posted: 5/12/2012 7:28:55 PM | Well I think as long as nothing sexual is happening than she should get off her high horse and stop being a jealous twatwaffle lmao....I hate women who are jealous of others....It personally drives me insane...I have lost several male friendships because of another woman being jealous....Does he know she wrote u??? Perhaps send him a short email and let him know that she asked u not to contact him again.....
Tweety :) | |
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| Friends, girlfriends and a nasty message...
Posted: 5/12/2012 8:20:25 PM | OP you seem very level headed and clear minded.
I'm with you, I see no problem with being friends with this guy. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there that are so insecure that they can't stand the idea of their boyfriend/fiancee remaining friends with an ex.
I dated a guy from the ages of 16-18. I broke up with him because we seemed more like friends (brother and sister really). We stayed very close friends - even when I moved to LA when I was 20. We both dated and stayed in touch. I moved back to Chicago when I was 25, just in time for his wedding! I was so happy I was going to be in town to see him get married. Well, guess what - his wife (fiancee) absolutely forbid me to attend the wedding. And after that he was no longer allowed to contact me. It still makes me sad to this day. The woman he married must be incredibly insecure. I mean really, what did she think was going to happen?? We were kids when we dated and best friends. PPfft whatever.
In any case, I could see if you were still after him or he was pining away for you, but enough time has passed ~ she really needs to get over it. I would continue to talk to him since he has apologized and still seems to 'be able' to talk to you. | |
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| Friends, girlfriends and a nasty message...
Posted: 5/13/2012 9:57:46 AM | She's an entitled control freak. My good male friend had a girlfriend just like that. I couldn't speak to him on the weekends while she was over. I felt like I lost my friend, and he felt the same way. She was very insecure and a hot mess. I informed him that he had lost his spine and his genitals. Thankfully, one of them had the cajones to break it off. It was toxic and spiraling out of control. He had some painful alone time (he's a relationship addict) but found a new tail to tap. The best part of it is that he has his friends back in his life.
Is there anyway you can get in touch with this guy, without her knowing, to hear his side of the story. He may not even know what has happened. If he is under her spell, let him know that you will always care for him and be there as a friend. | |
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| Friends, girlfriends and a nasty message...
Posted: 5/13/2012 10:27:50 AM | I think you should butt out and leave this man alone.
Maybe the fiance did send the email and not your friend, who knows? I guess all will be revealed in time, if he has not heard from you and he is a good friend as you say he is, then he will contact you.
If he doesn't make any effort to make contact you within a reasonable amount of time then you have your answer but for right now, stay away - no more contacting him or his fiance! | |
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