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| | 50 Shades of GreyPage 5 of 17 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17) | | Im more a 50 shades of colour person, i just want to compare notes. | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/10/2012 9:33:31 AM | Probably the best thing you can do for your mutual pleasure is talk openly about your wants, needs, desires, and fantasies with your partner.
I know that right now, I am having the most satisfying sex life that I've ever had, and it is because my partner and I are very open and honest with each other. Heck, about 90% of it is mental... We can talk and text back and forth for hours telling each other what we want done to us and what we want to do to each other. It is awesome as foreplay...then we get together and act it out! Sometimes we don't get to everything we talked about...but that is what tomorrow is for! :) | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/10/2012 9:35:08 AM | Oh, and PLEASE don't cast Kristen Stewart as Anastasia!!! She has dead eyes. :(
And I vote for Ryan Gosling as Christian...that man is HOT HOT HOT!!! | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/10/2012 1:57:00 PM | | well i wouldnt mind a Christian Grey in my life too , just finished reading the first book and thought it was fab, and sooooo looking forward to reading books number two and three :) | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/10/2012 2:17:13 PM | I have read all three books on the Grey series. I found them to be exotic. I think though she made the world of BDSM look like a fairytale. If you like Julie Roberts in Pretty Women then its kind of the same a prostitute finds love in a rich man to take her off the street. Ana isn't a prostitute but ever Submissive dream to have a rich man take care of them like Christian Grey. It just a Cinderella fairytale.
If you think a Dominant and Submissive world is like this book, then think again. I suggest if you want to be a Sub, for you to do your research and homework. There will be pain, but a pleasurable pain, so you know what you can take and what you can't. Most of all you must have a trusted partner, because with out that you are playing a dangerous game. One lady comment that she didn't think that BDSM was normal that you had to be 50 shades of messed up to want to do this. What is normal? If someone didn't like ice cream, I would say they are not normal. I was a sub and I grew up normal went to church, play softball, high band, and college. So am I not normal? If you have two consenting adults I see nothing wrong with that.
I will not be going to see the movie if they do make one, unless I'm bored and nothing else to watch and rent it for the dollar red box. I feel they will make the world of BDSM look like a dream and every girls going to want to do it, if they don't already. Some Dominant going to take advance of that and some poor girls going to get hurt. So if your looking for your Christian Grey "Mr. Grey" please be safe, be smart, and trust your partner and you will have an experience like you have never had before. And "YES" you can have vanilla (normal) sex after an experience like this. | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/10/2012 4:12:31 PM | The whole this is just too, funny
in a very, very sad way....
It seems like people need to be told, what to be sexually
lets see, in the last 50 years, our culture, has gone through,men, that dominate, the house(50's),free love,disco, withdrugs macho men free love(70s), softer kinder men women with extra padding on their shoulders80s,softer kinder, metrosexual men
now it looks like it gonna be rope,and women being sexually ravished, by 'romantic' men???!!!!!
lol
whats next......
it is going to be funny seeing middle class americans, version of kinky,lol | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/10/2012 6:33:15 PM | | Ok, well what if the situation was flipped? What if it was a dominant chick who wanted to tie up and ravage a man? Would that make it any weirder or would that be "way cool"? | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/11/2012 7:52:25 AM | Not a matter of being cool or not....just a different preference.
Doesn't do it for me. | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/11/2012 1:35:42 PM | | I have read them all. Not particularly well written. Fun reading. Most women are surprised that I would read them. I think all men should read them. We would be much better able to understand what women get aroused by if we read romance novels and the like. Remember the brain is the biggest sex organ! Laters Baby! | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/11/2012 5:05:11 PM | | This isn't a reply but just a comment these books are a gigantic pile of shite stop bloody fantasizing over a fictional character if U want someone to tie U up and smack U about try asking,if women spent more time on their relationships they might get a better sex life!!!! U get out what U put in. Total crap | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/12/2012 12:09:33 AM |
This isn't a reply but just a comment these books are a gigantic pile of shite stop bloody fantasizing over a fictional character if U want someone to tie U up and smack U about try asking,
I think that is the point though...it is a fantasy. I would guess that probably 90+% of the women reading it - and imagining they want to actually experience it - would run a mile if it happened. If all these women actually wanted to be with a very dominant man, why are they not already? | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/16/2012 9:04:45 AM | quote] If all these women actually wanted to be with a very dominant man, why are they not already?
Because as open and sexually liberated as we like to think we are, when it comes to a having secret submissive desires, or any kink for that matter, it can be an uncomfortable realization for many to openingly acknowledge and deal with.....for a variety of emotional and cultural reasons.
This is especially true if she is in a "vanilla" LTR and previously never even mentioned those desires to her partner. Then suddenly after all this time she's admitting she's had these submissive fantasies.....of being dominated, spanked, bound, teased, "controlled, used and consumed", and generally "made" to service her partner.
In order to openingly discuss and address she has to basically admit to her LT partner that she has been sexually unfullfilled by their relationship all this time, which can be a difficult conversation for some, especially if the partner is insecure or just not of like mind. Some couples make this transition, some don't. Consequently many women just bury their secret desires deep inside.....unless someone new comes along ....someone who accepts and celebrates those desires...........and can release the floodgate.....a real life Mr. Grey if you will.........devious grin. | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/16/2012 9:34:04 AM | why are they not with dominant men???
not because women do not want to be
because, everything in our society, has become, bland
hardly anyone is ok with passion,
yet alone passionate sex
it is not 'OK, to be a feminine female,society, comes down very hard on women, if they are not 'independant'
if they, do not work, and heaven help, them if they love lots of sex.....
men, have become even more boring,beer, sports, and couch, no more needs to be said!!!
for petes sake, people need a book, a very badly written one just to be OK, with mild fantasies | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:12:36 AM | totally agree about kriten stewart- dead eyes and not innocent eyes like the character actually is ( or starts out being anyway lol)
as much as i lvoe ryan gosling, he is my second choice for christian..Ian whats his name ( damon from vampire diaries ) is my first choice for the eyebrow arching alone lol | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/16/2012 5:50:55 PM |
If all these women actually wanted to be with a very dominant man, why are they not already?
Because a compatible Dom is very difficult to find. | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/16/2012 6:01:15 PM | | yes im on the 3rd book and its hard to put down. the more i was reading the more intense it got i cant wait until they make a movie about this book i hope its just as good! | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/16/2012 6:48:49 PM | | Celtic----YES! Ian Sommer-something... he would be a good one, too. :) Although neither are gingers, lol. | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/16/2012 8:23:16 PM | Having read the various responses so far in this thread, it seems to me the majority of women who can get past the, shall we say, mediocre writing like the book. Those who have actually experienced BDSM seem to think it's rather tame; others ("vanillas"?) seem interested and perhaps stimulated or curious about this sort of thing. I have bought the e-book and am reading it now, so I can see for myself what all the fuss is about.
Questions for the ladies who have read the book, especially those in the 50-and-over range:
What did you enjoy or identify with in "50 Shades Of Grey"? The sexual descriptions? The bondage/domination aspect? The girl's feelings for the guy? His feelings (or lack thereof) for her? The secrecy of the relationship? Something else?
What insights would you want a man to take away after reading the book? I can imagine that some women would find this sort of thing exciting, but can't imagine many would actually any of the kinkier actions described. They might fantasize about parts of it, how many would actually want to try anything "kinky" from the book even in play with a partner they trust and feel safe with? Or is that the point: they don't want to feel safe?
Can pain (I've just read about the spanking) really be pleasurable in some way?
How far would you be willing to go with the action described in the book? (I can't imagine most would go very far, except those already into BDSM.)
Or is this sort of thing "hot" only when the man is rich, powerful, extremely handsome and enigmatic? (He's never been known to be involved with any woman before this -- and he's famous, so any woman he's seen with publicly would be noticed. Even his mother apparently isn't sure of his sexual orientation.)
Should I even bother reading the rest of the book, or just move on? | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/17/2012 4:57:36 AM | and what's the best part of dominence? well...not having to take responsibility.
it all reminds me of a book i read as a kid, ninja mind control. first chapter was about how controlling others meant you had to react to them, so they controlled you as well, like how the abolitionists said to keep a slave in the ditch, meant getting down there too.
best control was to have control over your own wants and desires, and then you reached calm, which then attracted those you wished to control...yet by then, you didn't need to control them anymore.
didn't bother to read the book after that :) | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:27:48 AM |
and what's the best part of dominence? well...not having to take responsibility.
Are you kidding? A Dom (or Domme) is absolutely responsible for not harming the sub - especially if said sub is blindfolded, gagged and in bondage. Tough for the sub to get up and leave in that situation, thus the aspect of trust that is crucial to all BDSM scenes.
The sub is in charge only because s/he can stop the scene with a prearranged safe word or motion (if s/he can't talk). Of course, if one is playing with a nutcase, said nutcase is in charge. That's why screening one's partner is so important.
BTW, the spelling is dominance, with an a. | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:44:23 AM | I've heard it's tame.....
Would like some cliff notes from somewhere, reading it will probably give me suicidal thoughts. | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:13:02 AM | Good questions Smokin!
It's really hard to tell you some of the things I can identify with without giving away a lot of the plot line....
I will say the entire content goes way beyond the surface and doesn't really begin until about the 3/4 way through the first book. Near the end of the first, and beyond, you start to see things other than the acts and their sexual blatantness.
IMO, the acts themselves and all their "depravity" are just for show and titilation at first. It's a heady way of getting the reader excited but in the long run, tells a much deeper tale than just the acts themselves. It's hard to explain but if you keep reading you will understand....It draws the reader in, and hopefully keeps them reading (if you can get past the mediocre at best, writing style)
It may shock some and be tame to some others. Obviously it has some ppl's feathers in a ruffle seing as there is so much controversy about even selling it in some stores! Maybe the tabboo put on by the media and some prudes actually makes it that much more enticing! I simply read it because my sister said it was fun and we have a lot of the same taste in books. I read all three (twice) while I was at the beach so maybe the laid back environment and free time made it the perfect time to read them.
Again, IMO, a man might take away from the book some ideas on how to dominate, how to control and what it's like to be in charge sexually and be comfortable in their own skin. Trust is KEY! Christian puts it well when he says that the control is actually not his, it's hers. She has the ability to take it or leave it, stop when she wants and make the rules. He just exerts control in what she is comfortable with. Yes he barks orders and "punishes" but only when she gives the green light....
Yes they both want to feel safe. This isn't some stranger raping and abusing some random woman. It's basically a game, fantasy, role playing. There is no reason to be really scared. If that's the case then it's not being done right. It should be excitement, thrill, anticipation and a little anxiety NOT downright fear....
Yes some pain can be very exciting during sex. How much or in what way is up to the ppl involved. Can it be taught? Channeled? Maybe, but its completely subjective.
And lastly, would it be more erotic, pleasurable, enticing with a rich, gorgeous, confident man? Well sure, wouldn't most things? LOL
But for me, it doesn't really matter. I only want someone who is trustworthy, sane, practiced and confident...
Bottom line, it's not for everyone but go ahead and keep reading. Once you're past the first 3/4, it should become more interesting, but it doesn't become more tame, just more understandable? Just enjoy it and take it for what it is. A fun read....I hope this helped a little.... | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/17/2012 10:15:23 AM |
She has the ability to take it or leave it, stop when she wants and make the rules. He just exerts control in what she is comfortable with. Yes he barks orders and "punishes" but only when she gives the green light....
Yep...Grace has touched on the mental aspect that is far more important then ANY particular physical act involving, bondage, disclipline, pain or pleasure. D/s is not simply a collection of recreational/erotic acts. And it's also true that the submissives's secret yearnings and limits actually determine the pace and composition of virtually everything.
More importantly, it's about the psychological connection between two people that are wired a very particular way....and many times involves an erotic and emotional awakening of sorts. | |
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| 50 Shades of Grey
Posted: 7/17/2012 10:27:00 AM | I found the trilogy to be just OK.
From the kink side I think it was tame and really didn't make me want to reach for my hitachi.
Double crap, did I just type that? | |
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