| | Nightmare DatesPage 3 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) | | ^^^ Kags I remember you from a previous POF life. Was that date someone from here? lol I remember him too! Live and learn eh? | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 12:30:02 AM | | Lol not sure if he was from here or Loopy Love! Yes it's a bit of a legendary story but unfortunately very true! I had my arm strapped to my body for 6 weeks and shoulder is still really weak now .... and still single .... hmmm ! | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 12:56:57 AM |
To be honest if a bloke asked me to switch my cam on I'd probably block him! Does make sense I guess but it's not something I've ever come across or felt the need to do. If they have several pics up, chances are it is probably them.
I dont buy that if they have several pics on its probably them , i was chatting to a guy who has 7 pics on , i chatted to him on here and by text for a few days , i asked him if he wanted to chat on cam , which he agreed , low and behold when he came on cam it was a toally different person to the pics , i asked who the person in the pics were and he told me it was his best friend and he took the pics from facebook , i then told him he had decieved me and he agreed he had, but in his eyes he was hoping to form a bond from the chat then the woman would like him and forgive him for lying about the pics .I told him he wasnt the type of person for me and clicked x on the cam .
So thank goodness for the cam as without that i may have wasted more time and met up with this guy . | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 1:21:12 AM | I think I'm probably lucky....never had anyone turn up who didn't look roughly like their photos, ages have been about right, so have size descriptions ( including, bless her, the one who did warn me that she 'was a bit on the large side'....).
I've had messages, from a few women who are still using the same photos six years later (come on girls, own up).
I can't see the point in the 'make it all up & hope for the best' attitude - no-one's that desperate, surely (hope over experience syndrome here?).
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 1:45:23 AM |
To be honest if a bloke asked me to switch my cam on I'd probably block him! Does make sense I guess but it's not something I've ever come across or felt the need to do. If they have several pics up, chances are it is probably them.
To be honest, I rarely use my web cam because I find it inhibiting to talk to someone on it. I have had a couple of friendships, where I could type talk till the cows come home, talk on the phone quite naturally, but talk on camera and I find I am wondering what I am looking like, is my facial expression right, am I doing more harm than good? Does anyone remember that clip of Gordon Brown when he was being coached in PR for the cameras, frequently shown on programmes such as Have I Got News For You, where his stoney face suddenly broke into a forced unnatural smile and he looked like the rat catcher.
Even a male friend who I needed to talk to regularly concerning my club activities was a no go on camera, even though we went to the trouble of setting up a Skype link. They already had it because they had a daughter who lives in Majorca and I thought it would be a good idea to have face-t0-face meetings. Worst thing ever!!!
So a long distance relationship might be helped by webcam chat but not when you are trying to get to know someone and impress them. Besides some give off an aura that is not evident in a forced situation on screen but might be very attractive in a face-to-face meeting and it could be the deciding factor in getting you to accept a bloke with a syrup or a blonde with dark roots!!!
But if a member put up false photos of friends, what's to stop them getting their friend to talk on webcam and still turn up the wrong person!! The insanity of putting up false photos is so bizarre to me that I could also see that thinking extending into all sorts of other bizarre behaviour.
What if the date went so well you were bowled off your feet and he had to get his friend round to make love to you???? LOL | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 2:01:35 AM | Has anyone considered that they might have been someone's nightmare date !!!
I know I have been on a couple of dates where the person obviously didn't want to be there at all !!
In all cases of the 'nightmare' the rapor prior to meeting was great. Messages and conversations flew back and forth easily and chats on the phone were great. But once we met it was a case of her saying to herself ''I don't want to be here, I want out''
In all cases it was the lady who pushed hard for the date so obviously this disproves the theory that ladies don't go for looks as our chats must have indicated intelligence and character etc. !!! | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 2:35:53 AM |
But if a member put up false photos of friends, what's to stop them getting their friend to talk on webcam and still turn up the wrong person!
You have a point there , but so far i havent heard of anyone who has come across that , and if its a spur of the moment webcam chat they wouldnt have time to prepare for the friend to be around .
Also you dont really just do 1 chat on webcam before you meet , well i dont anyway , i chat on cam and arrange the meet with them and also keep in contact on cam up until the meet , i work and i have to plan my dates around the times im not working so it could be 2 or 3 days from first chatting on cam before i actually go meet them due to work and other commitments . | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 2:36:13 AM |
Has anyone considered that they might have been someone's nightmare date !!!
I think it's fair to say I was somebodies nightmare date. lol
I was talking to her for about 2 months on here and we was getting on very well. We arranged 3 dates all of which she canceled, the excuses were flaky at best. I couldn't figure it out in my mind because she was calling me practically every day. I just put it down to nerves but netherless, I was loosing interest fast, she was downgraded to legover weeks ago anyway so what the hell. With interest at an all time low I said if she wanted a date she can drive here.
Thinking that she was nervous (even though she insisted she wasn't) I told her to bring a friend and I'll be with my friends.
Now I won't lie, I do go out quite a bit and there are more than a few females in my group of friends, on that particular day it was just me and the girls because the lads had darked us off for some shít football match... Anyway as she'd cancelled 3 times I wasn't really expecting her to show up anyway, but she did.
At the exact moment that she walked in 2 of the girls had draped themselfs over me messing around for one of these posey facebook photos, there was nothing in it we are all just friends but it did look sleazy.
The girl came upto me and said "you are a male whore" and walked off, as they walked off her mate said "****ing twat" in a really strong cornish accent and they started marching off banging their heels on the floor as they went! I know it's not funny and I did contain the laughter until they had left the bar, even though every one else didn't.
If we was allowed to post pics i'd put it up and you would know exactly why it was the wrong situation to stumble upon.
I also don't really know what the moral of the story is, because it appears I don't have any. | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 3:03:43 AM | I have had a few, it would be unkind to identify, but in general reeking of tobacco, nicotine on fingers, removing 2" off height, showing 5-10 year old pic on profile, date arriving after 6 pints of beer, me having to buy guy all the drinks, and removing 15 (!) years of real age doesn't go down well.
Most have been quite pleasant however.
I now generally do webcam chats before, it always useful to see decent teeth before we met :-) | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 4:29:50 AM | | Haven't had too many really.... the first one was enough to make me decide to do a bit of homework before dating any more. One that stands out though was the musician with very yellow teeth. He spoke non stop and I couldn't get a word in edgeways. I made my excuses to leave after I'd bought him a drink in return and he wouldn't budge to let me leave and I had the wall to the other side of me. He said I should at least stay and have another drink, even though I was adamant I felt I wanted to go. Anyway, in the end I was too exhausted from listening to him droning on to wait any longer and he didn't want to budge so I crawled under the table to get out without a backward glance. | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 5:46:23 AM | @msg 59
I'd be surprised if I haven't been a "nightmare date" for some girls.
If they've approached it looking for romance, flirting, sweet talk and affection... Then they're almost definitely going to go home disappointed, as that just isn't the type of bloke I am.
Strangely enough the girls who seem to be looking for that, are the ones who've been speaking to me for quite a while and they should blatantly know better by then. Whereas girls who meet up quite quickly, don't ever seem to expect that of me.
Odd. | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 7:57:20 AM | So what you are saying you went by looks and looks alone, ok I agree, that having pics of other people is wrong, but you must have had some sort of connection ie in chat/messages to even get as far as a camera chat in the first place.
I agree what he did was wrong, but did you think for 1 min, how that guy must have felt, when you said you are not my type and just x off. He obviously is not a confident person where his appearance is concerned, your action made him feel 10 times worse.
To be honest this whole thread is so wrong, you are talking about human being who have feelings, some of which are not very confident people. I have read the posts, you all seem to be taking the pisx out of these people, take a look at yourselves first. You are all not perfect, who are you to judge other people, just because a date didn't go as well as expected so what.
Move on, don't just take the p iss out of these people, and belittle them more.
As I said take a look at yourselves first. Never judge others. | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 8:01:51 AM | we aren't social workers here,if someone has issues with their appearance then they need to seek psychiatric help and not lie to people on websites
aside from the gradual getting to know a friend of a friend etc all attraction is based on looks initially ,the rest comes later,to lie to a stranger from the outset and then get the arse cos they have told you to do one is a proper piss take actually | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 8:09:11 AM | It is not all about looks. my cousin is a fine example of that, he fancied a woman in work, but she didn't fanct him what so ever, he asked and asked and asked, eventually she said yes, even thoguh she had told him to his face, he was not her type what so ever, and really didn't fancy him, anyone, they went on the date, they got on like a house on fire, 22 years later still happily married with 2 children!
you see they got to know each other, had a connection, then she really fancied him then, as she found out what a lovely, genuine/funny guy his was/is!
So no it's not all about looks at all! | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 8:13:35 AM | yes i think i mentioned the gradual getting to know someone thing
on a dating website it is a totally different scenarioand you are up against a lot of " red flags" to then lie about something so huge as the person you are and then expect your jocular personality to counter at that is ****ing ridiculous and you have no room to complain | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 9:37:33 AM |
So no it's not all about looks at all!
By the sounds of it the OP stuck the date out , and it seems obvious to me that he wasnt sexually/physically attracted to her , so no amount of getting to know someone you are not sexually attracted to will change that .If i met a guy and he had a brilliant personality but yet i know i couldnt have sex with him because i didnt find him sexually attractive or sexually appealing then there would be no point in starting up a relationship with him , unless i plan to live like a nun then it just wouldnt work . | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 10:19:51 AM | I had a date once, years ago, where it transpired the pictures were around 10 years old and she didn't want to do what we'd agreed to do she really wanted to go back to her place and have sex instead. You're probably wondering how that can be bad.
She didn't look anything like her pictures and was dressed as if she'd just been to dinner with a very conservative christian grandma who had Alzheimers and thought she was still 15. ie zero sex appeal. I was not impressed but we did talk and it turns out guys she normally met weren't bothered by such details and were quite happy to get some action so to speak! I can't entirely fault her strategy. She (usually) got what she wanted from it: sex and no bother with dating and relationships. | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 10:42:17 AM | "I agree what he did was wrong, but did you think for 1 min, how that guy must have felt, when you said you are not my type and just x off. He obviously is not a confident person where his appearance is concerned, your action made him feel 10 times worse."
Sorry.. but I don't see why she should feel guilty at all! This guy used someone else's photos.. he lied. So we are to forgive liars if they aren't confident about their looks? hmm.. I'd like to see that one used in court. Perhaps the girl in question felt 10 times worse for being lied to when she might have quite fancied the "man" she was talking to? | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/18/2012 10:53:29 AM | Anyone who uses someone else's pictures is simply lying and deserve no pity if they get summarily cut off when that deception is uncovered. Not only are they wasting the time of the person that they're messaging, but they reduce trust in the whole system and make it more difficult for everyone else too.
Isn't it a bannable offence to use other people's images, as well? I guess it's not that hard to evade a ban though even if you report them. | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/19/2012 9:41:55 AM | OMG! My nightmare date can't really compare with this one but here it is anyway.
I arranged to meet a guy at a local pub, unfortunately it was too near for him. He walked there , got drunk and confessed he had given up smoking that day. I had specifically said I wanted to date non-smokers which he said he was on his profile. He also said he liked walking (I am a keen walker) but did not own a pair of walking boots! I walked out and left him in the pub on his own. Loser! | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/19/2012 10:51:29 AM | I've never had any real howlers but I've had a few where their reality distortion field was clearly working overtime. The worst was one who eventually admitted her photos were 15 years out of date and that she was actually 10 years older than me. She'd also claimed to be a non-smoker but her tobacco smell arrived well before she did.
Validating someone before a date is definitely one of the trickier aspects of dating because you cannot get a real sense of someone until you meet them. The most disappointing dates for me have all been ones where we've chatted online and on the phone for weeks building up a rapport before meeting. False expectations are created as you build a picture of how you want that person to be rather than seeing who they really are.
These days my approach is to cut to the chase as quickly as possible. A brief online chat to test the water followed by a phone call to make sure they're not brain dead. Then we meet ASAP for a short date on neutral ground. I know within minutes of meeting someone if things are going to go any further and I'd rather have a disappointing date sooner than a disastrous one later.
If I ever did meet someone who had totally lied about themselves I would not hesitate to turn around and walk. Blatant misrepresentation is no different from any other type of scam and they deserve nothing but contempt. | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/19/2012 1:18:41 PM | | My date was 99.9% a gay (do not take wrong I love them but won't date one) whom didn't come out of the closet YET. He was a lovely gentleman paid both for drinks and a meal but it was frustrating for me to watch him eyeing up all the guys bum. lol | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/19/2012 1:34:13 PM | | not long ago i arranged to meet up with a lady who looked like a real piece of top totty on her profile pics..but when i turned up at the pub to meet her..there sat a fecking big 20 stone baldheaded bloke in a frock..he told me he was a woman trapped in a mans body and that the woman in his profile pics were of his dead sister who passed away 10 years ago and he still speaks to her everynight through his ouji board.. once again i made my excuses and fecked off sharpish..so now i think im ready for my pipe and slippers and rubber doll and forget about the dating scene for good.such is life.. | |
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/19/2012 2:24:14 PM | I've had truly shocking nightmare dates
I often have this recurring dream, where I'm trapped in a huge long wooden laminated box, with curved ends
Chasing me round and round the box, are these mahoosive sticky, brown dried-fruits, and they're all trying to stab me with big plastic tridents. 
I can see their angry little sticky faces, and they keep jabbing at me with their pointy sicks, and they keep spitting seeds at me, that all look like butterfly chrysalises.
It's really quite bad....
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| Nightmare Dates
Posted: 5/19/2012 5:44:29 PM | msg 74
Couldn't agree more about the cut to the chase . Long drawn out chats often lead to the false impression of the person but luckily it doesn't happen in all cases. | |
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