| | Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????Page 2 of 8 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) | Is he kidding???????
Nope.
Some of us feel that when we bring a pet into our lives, we've made a commitment to care for them. In many cases, giving them up means euthanizing them. I simply could not abandon my dog.
If I started dating someone who is allergic, she would have to be willing to put cohabiting on hold until the pet dies. If she's so allergic that she can't even be around me because of the pet dander on my clothing and in my car, she would be better off finding someone else. My dog will be with me for the rest of his life (or the rest of my life if that turns out to be the case). | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 12:46:46 PM | I have 6 cats & may foster Jezabel, who I fostered in the past, so it may be 7 under my roof...they r part of my family, just like kids... so YES SINCERELY...let me see, we should drop what we love cuz a stranger on the internet emails us?
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Why would I choose a woman who I haven't even met yet over my dog, especially knowing that this would be a problem? that would be a pathetic act of desperation...
It is you that has the issue.
It is you that is demanding someone bow to your terms.
Sad ... very sad.
The man has made himself clear, upfront, in a direct way.
Typical of women to think "oh, he doesn't really mean it. And besides, I can force him to change if I get serious with him"
So should this allergy ridden fishette write anyway, or should she take him at his literal word?
By all means, get involved with him. And when your allergies become a problem for you, and you then make them a problem for him by threatening, " it's the dogs or me", come back with a new thread about how he's putting his animals before you and we'll all tell you what a jerk he is. LOL
A woman with allergies who won't be able to tolerate his pets is not considered The One in his book. It's your loss, not his. the whole train of thought is narcissistic imo- i want what i want regardless of their obvious preference... | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 12:48:29 PM | Although my heart goes out to those who have to stand by and watch a potential match go down in flames due to an allergy dealbreaker( what about people who are allergic to other things that might be an irremovable or non-negotiable part of the environment?)-people who hold such feelings for their pets, IMO, demonstrate an amazing level of loyalty, dedication and sense of responsibility.
OP, I'm sorry that his pets are a dealbreaker, but seriously-you can't always just give a pet away to someone else. I wouldn't INFLICT "His Majesty"(my cat) on someone else so I could date an allergic person.
Would you REALLY want to date a guy who had his pets euthanised to accommodate YOU?
"Sincerely with our Dogs and Cats in our Middle AGES???"
Oh, you better believe it.
Cindy O | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 12:50:21 PM | There are thousands of available women within an hours drive that are available for dating.
I, however, have but one loyal dog who depends on me and has been a faithful friend.
Why would I choose a woman who I haven't even met yet over my dog, especially knowing that this would be a problem? | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 1:48:27 PM |
The point of the post is that in makin such an absolute decision, this pet lover is willing to close off the possibility of finding some person with allergies who just may be The One?
And for a pet?
Yep, and for other 'absolutes' too.
Which means they just AREN'T "The One". | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 2:06:28 PM | People come and go but a dog would stay with you till death do you part.
I dont know what the big deal with that.. I see this exact same thing almost word to word on many women profiles. I would say move on dont contact him and dont bother. You might think he is perfect for you but I dont think you would be perfect for him..
Many times its more fun going out on a hike with a dog then a date with some of the women I met. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 2:27:17 PM | Yes, you should take him at is word.
My dogs are both blind. One was also born deaf. The female was originally a foster until it was determined the acclimation process was soooooo long, she could go nowhere else and she still can't nor would I make her.
My profile clearly states I am an animal lover. Further, it states my dogs are a package deal. I will always have animals, so anyone that is not understanding of that or an animal lover, themselves, should most assuredly move along.
I won't trade them for anything.
You'd have to be an animal lover to understand. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 3:18:40 PM | I hope you've read every single reply OP because you certainly have the answers to your questions!
I used to volunteer for a Siberian Husky Rescue and, on a couple of occasions, a dog was given up because their owners new partner didn't like dogs. In both cases, one six months later and the other almost a year later, the owners wanted to know if they could have their dogs back because they'd split up. The answer, of course, was NO because both dogs had been re-homed! | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 3:55:53 PM | a dog was given up because their owners new partner didn't like dogs. the pet owner had no spine, obviously...after someone does that, they get shelter "blacklisted" & rightfully so...
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts15011801.aspx
remember this?
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts14883332.aspx
and this? | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 3:57:08 PM | In both cases, one six months later and the other almost a year later, the owners wanted to know if they could have their dogs back because they'd split up. The answer, of course, was NO because both dogs had been re-homed! Fools...idiots...nincompoops and other words that would be censored. I rest my case that I have been better off sticking on the animals' side... | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 5:03:52 PM | | I love my dog, and I wouldn't give him up or change for someone just because they are allergic, you need to find someone else that will make you happy because I know as a dog lover I would never give up my pet with an SO | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 5:47:02 PM | As Paderic stated, adopting an animal is a commitment. It isn't that we're addicted to the unconditional love as someone mentions. How sad that some think it's a negative thing to want to care for a pet. The OP can't believe a man wouldn't give up his companions for some woman, but she quickly checked off her criteria of height and hair before reading his profile. She said he had heart, but then gets upset because he won't dump his animals for her. Where's her heart?
If you can't be around my animals, we're just not a good match. I can't be with a smoker. Do I think I should just date them anyway, they will just quit? No, I don't. We each decide what's important to us, and it isn't important at all if anyone else likes or agrees with it. Isn't that the point? Aren't we here to find someone whose beliefs, morals, personality, etc. are a good fit for us, rather than wasting time complaining about those that don't? | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 7:04:14 PM | I am sure he could have put it a bit more tactfully, but some just don't want to be tactful. I would think that saying he is looking for someone that is an animal lover or that he is an animal lover and has pets would be enough. A person that doesn't like pets or is allergic would still know that they wouldn't be a match.
I have had pets all my life and I can not envision anyone being a match that didn't like them. I can't envision being a match with someone that didn't like animals. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 7:11:21 PM | I love my dog, and I wouldn't give him up or change for someone just because they are allergic, you need to find someone else that will make you happy because I know as a dog lover I would never give up my pet with an SO
That would cause major resentment.
Why would OP even consider that an option?
That shows me how easy it is for the OP to just end a relationship.
And if it is done that easily with an animal,
how quick would that technique with used on her SO? | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 7:49:34 PM | Don't know. I don't think of myself as an "animal lover" -- but I have now, and have had in the past very specific and very loving relationships with companion animals (no, I don't think in terms of "pets"). I lost my brother, and a cat I adored in the same week, and the pain and grieving were *exactly* the same. Love is love no matter where its directed, or from whom it's received.
I gave up a pair of horses I loved a LOT, during a period I was so ill I could not care for them, and the possibility of dying suddenly and leaving them to the tender mercies of the dogfood bidders at a horse auction was not an unreasonable fear. I didn't sell them, though I could have, they were beautiful pure blood Arabs with good lines: I gave them to a girl whose mother had bred arabs, and who grew up with horses, and loved them, and thought she'd died and gone to heaven at the gift. She's been good to them, and I never asked for them to be returned when I got better: *she* was my gift to them.
I do expect that if someone has severe animal allergies that they've never been able to approach that, and therefore would, understandably, not grok it. I was married to a colorblind man, and it was a grief to me that I could never communicate my pleasure in color. He didn't notice he was missing anything. But, yanno, if I'd had to *give up* seeing colors for him, I don't think I would have. And I loved him a great deal. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 8:13:10 PM | WOW!
Where in the OP exists even the suggestion that someone with a pet looking for romance should:
--- give up his pet?
---- euthanize his pet?
for someone he has just met?
I'd suggest that some people on this thread go back and reread the OP.
The again, the outrageous quantum leaps that some are making here in response to the OP such as this one:
That shows me how easy it is for the OP to just end a relationship.
And if it is done that easily with an animal,
how quick would that technique with used on her SO?
are certainly um, "informative"!
Others are very definitely more informative!
BTW? I'm not the "fishette" in the OP, have no pet allergies, and have always had pets until one of my children was born and has spent a lifetime with severe allergies --- so severe that cats, dogs, and just about any pets except fish were out of the question for her.
The point of the post, however, was to note the degree to which this can be a dealbreaker for some. Obviously a heck of a lot more than "some."
The other "inferences" beyond the point will no doubt give this thread a life beyond the original. Ah well. Several very nice gentlemen have already written me --- privately of course --- offering their personal comfort for all the slamming and bamming that my poor little self is eduring as the result of posting this thread.
Human behaviour is a fascinating thing:) | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 8:58:11 PM | Yes, booted to the curb if your unable to fit in with my existing life, which includes my pets. Same applies if you have issues with my young adult step kids (like my own after many years) & the youngest still lives with me, their family which I've remained tight with & still receive invites (although I don't attend) to family functions & holidays, my dysfunctional (pull my finger) family, my hobbies & love of fishing, my suburban life style (no street lights & or sidewalks) & a number of other things that my life revolves around.
It's easy to to find someone over 45 to date but difficult to fit into each others lives for a relationship. There is no more building a life around someone, as we did when younger, since we already have established lives. Fitting in is crucial & expecting others to make accommodations to fit you in is unrealistic. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 9:18:05 PM | I think a huge assumption has been made that the couple would actually be compatable. The gentleman with the pets may not have the same feelings as the "fishette" and not even want a relationship with her to begin with. If the said fishette never even contacted the gentleman it's a far stretch to conclude they would be soul mates.
I knew a couple who divorced because she was allergic to his sperm. They used all the precautions to have protected sex and adopted a son and daughter but the strain on their marriage eventually caused them to go their separate ways. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 9:58:45 PM | Well OP, since you are so offended at being misunderstood, you might want to re-read this from your original post:
Is the above definition of "love" for one's animals as something placed in the upper deck of the same boat with "family and friends" the inevitable outcome of too many years spent middle aged and alone. I mean, it's absolutely one thing for someone our age to be clear to any prospective lover that our children will always come first -- or always be "as important" to us as any love we may have at this age. But are singles over 45 so resigned to never finding That Special Love that they are not even willing to leave themselves open to meeting Mr/Ms. Right unless they accept a "love" on par with our animals?
It doesn't matter that you are not the allergic person. Your inquiry comes across as cold, selfish and rather judgmental.
For most pet owners there is a commitment for life. We didn't give up on living just because we were single. If we had then we might not have pets so that we wouldn't have to worry about things like how other people felt about pets. Nope, we went right on with our lives the way we enjoy it. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 12:35:26 AM | The original post does seem to clearly say that people in middle age have pets to console them for their loneliness/singleness and that if one meets Mr/Ms Right, then there is no need for a pet. I don't think that's true at all. I think most people who have pets have had them all their lives. We had dogs and cats when I was a child. Since I left my parent's home, I've had cats (usually one at a time) most of my adult life. I've owned one dog, for 13 years, and grieved deeply when she died. The only reason I don't have pets now is because of my lifestyle. Though I have a partner, I'd still love to have a dog and cat too, but we are waiting until it's time to settle down in one place--could be years.
It seems that most people consider family pets part of the family. They may not put them literally on a par with family in all ways, but they are important. When we take an animal into our lives, it is a lifetime commitment for the life of the animal. You don't get involved with someone who is allergic to them knowing that you could fall in love and then have to choose between the animal and the lover--giving up your beloved pet, sending it to be euthanized most likely--just not something most pet owners will consider.
So, most people who love animals will not date someone who can't be around them. If you can't be around someone who smokes, but you are middle age, should you date someone who smokes just so you won't be alone? OP, would you date a man who smokes? Would you date an overweight couch potato? What do you think you should give way on so you won't be alone, if he is 'Mr Right'? Or do you realize someone who smokes or is a fat couch potato would never be Mr Right? For people who love animals, someone who cannot be around animals would never be Mr/Ms Right. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 3:53:31 AM |
Several very nice gentlemen have already written me --- privately of course --- offering their personal comfort for all the slamming and bamming that my poor little self is eduring as the result of posting this thread.
I'll bet! No surprise there. You broadcast something that riles folks up, get a few bashes at you, and there will be guys out there who make their move on you based on taking advantage of your "lady in distress" status. If a woman is cute enough, she can advocate genocide, and those kinds of guys will "privately offer comfort" to her. | |
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