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| | Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????Page 3 of 8 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) | And for a pet? you say that like a bad thing, like a "pet" is somehow inferior...domestic animals have the cognitive ability of a 4 yr old child & the emotions as well...your OP belittles animals & those who love & care 4 them...I'm not religious, but spiritual, every major religion has something in their scriptures regarding animal stewardship...
Proverbs 12:10
A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast: but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel.
Judaism places great stress on proper treatment of animals. Unnecessary cruelty to animals is strictly forbidden, and in many cases, animals are accorded the same sensitivity as human beings. This concern for the welfare of animals is unusual in Western civilization. Most civilized nations did not accept this principle until quite recently; cruelty to animals was not outlawed until the 1800s, and even now it is not taken very seriously.
The primary principle behind the treatment of animals in Jewish law is preventing tza'ar ba'alei chayim, the suffering of living creatures. Judaism expresses no definitive opinion as to whether animals actually experience physical or psychological pain in the same way that humans do; however, Judaism has always recognized the link between the way a person treats animals and the way a person treats human beings. A person who is cruel to a defenseless animal will undoubtedly be cruel to defenseless people. Modern psychology confirms this understanding, with many studies finding a relationship between childhood animal cruelty and adult criminal violence.
http://www.jewfaq.org/animals.htm
God, the Creator of human beings and animals, has made animals subservient to us. We depend on animals for the food we eat and the milk we drink. We bring animals into our homes for love and companionship. We survive critical illness and live longer because of biomedical research on animals. We visit to zoos and aquariums to gain an appreciation for the spectacular diversity of life on earth. We benefit from specially trained dogs that detect drugs, guide the blind, and assist the disabled. God says in the Quran:
“And the cattle, He has created them for you. You have in them warm clothing and (other) advantages, and of them you eat. And therein is beauty for you, when you drive them back (home) and when you send them out (to pasture). And they carry your heavy loads to regions which you could not reach but with great distress to yourselves. Surely your Lord is Compassionate, Merciful. And (He made) horses and mules and asses that you might ride upon them and as an ornament. And He creates what you know not.” (Quran 16:5-8)
The mercy of Islam extends beyond human beings to all living creations of God. Islam prohibits cruelty to animals. Fourteen hundred years ago, long before the modern animal rights movement began with the publication of Peter Singer’s book, “Animal Liberation,” in 1975, Islam required kindness to animals and cruelty to them a sufficient reason for a person to be thrown into the Fire!
Once, the Prophet of Mercy spoke of God’s forgiveness due to the humane treatment of animals. He told his companions the story of a man who got thirsty on his way. He found a well, climbed down inside it to the water, and quenched his thirst. When he came out he saw a panting dog licking on mud out of extreme thirst. The man thought to himself, ‘The dog has become as thirsty as I was!’ The man went down the well again and got some water for the dog. God appreciated his good work and forgave him. The companions asked, ‘O Prophet of God, do we get rewarded on humane treatment of animals?’ He said, ‘There is a reward in (doing good to) every living being.’[1]
http://www.islamreligion.com/articles/185/
As Paderic stated, adopting an animal is a commitment. It isn't that we're addicted to the unconditional love as someone mentions. How sad that some think it's a negative thing to want to care for a pet. The OP can't believe a man wouldn't give up his companions for some woman, but she quickly checked off her criteria of height and hair before reading his profile. She said he had heart, but then gets upset because he won't dump his animals for her. Where's her heart?
Human behaviour is a fascinating thing:)
Well OP, since you are so offended at being misunderstood, you might want to re-read this from your original post:
Is the above definition of "love" for one's animals as something placed in the upper deck of the same boat with "family and friends" the inevitable outcome of too many years spent middle aged and alone. I mean, it's absolutely one thing for someone our age to be clear to any prospective lover that our children will always come first -- or always be "as important" to us as any love we may have at this age. But are singles over 45 so resigned to never finding That Special Love that they are not even willing to leave themselves open to meeting Mr/Ms. Right unless they accept a "love" on par with our animals?
It doesn't matter that you are not the allergic person. Your inquiry comes across as cold, selfish and rather judgmental.
For most pet owners there is a commitment for life. We didn't give up on living just because we were single. If we had then we might not have pets so that we wouldn't have to worry about things like how other people felt about pets. Nope, we went right on with our lives the way we enjoy it.
The original post does seem to clearly say that people in middle age have pets to console them for their loneliness/singleness and that if one meets Mr/Ms Right, then there is no need for a pet. I don't think that's true at all. I think most people who have pets have had them all their lives.
Several very nice gentlemen have already written me --- privately of course --- offering their personal comfort for all the slamming and bamming that my poor little self is eduring as the result of posting this thread.
I'll bet! No surprise there. You broadcast something that riles folks up, get a few bashes at you, and there will be guys out there who make their move on you based on taking advantage of your "lady in distress" status. If a woman is cute enough, she can advocate genocide, and those kinds of guys will "privately offer comfort" to her.
AND FOR A PET?
don't you ever dare belittle those precious gifts ever again... YOU have to answer to a higher power, not just the forumites in POF! | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 5:41:44 AM | | Seriously here if you are a pet lover it would be important that your partner love animals as well.. I honestly found that men that did not like animals were not for me.. They did not have the need to nurture.. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 5:47:47 AM | My guess? Consciously, or unconsciously, OPie has been playing a game of Double Gotcha. First posits some "old person" so seriously warped that animals are more important than people. Damns them. Asks for agreement with her view. Doesn't get it. Then proceeds to damn those who don't support her.
Point of fact: the question has nothing to do with "our Middle Ages????" Nor with a serious question about relationships. Known fact: humans have all kinds of preferences: hair color, weight, brains, religion (or lack of it), spiritual paths and so on. The profile in question is just one version: a clearly stated deal breaker. Her own profile would tend to indicate that she'd not settle for someone not "fit." The actual question in the opening post is: when someone states a deal breaker clearly, should someone else be outraged and/or disregard that deal breaker and go ahead and contact? (Because doing so is going to make the contactor feel enormously superior to the contactee.)
Some peeps "live" for NASCAR or tango. . . . If they state that, and you HATE that, are they defective for not wishing to consider *you*? Nope. Are you defective for contacting them? Possibly.
Just as an aside, I see both on profiles and on these forums, the fairly continuous demand to be included as justification for all kinds of deception: if your contact rules are no older than/no younger than, and the other is "close" it becomes okay to lie about a few years. . . . Same for distance. Same for weight/activity level. None of us is so "worthy" that OUR belief in our acceptability actually overrules the *owner* of the parameters. Evah.
Done. Live long and prosper. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 8:11:30 AM | @wooby-
"First posits some "old person" so seriously warped that animals are more important than people...."
I think this is a misconception many people have. However, I'll go as far to say that sometimes I have a lot more faith in the animals I care for than I do in many people. Some would say pet owners (although, they really own us) are a "different breed." Sure, if one counts having love and compassion for another living thing "different." That's a sad testament. One can tell a lot about another from the way they treat the animals they care for.
Many years ago, I was on a site dedicated to pet lovers and dating for animal people. I found my last serious relationship there. If it was still up and running, this freak show wouldn't have even been a consideration. I also made many friends there.
"Just as an aside........."
Now, see, this paragraph is probably mostly true even beyond this site. My guess would be many people had marriages like this. The other had that one deal breaker and the other tried to nag it out of them. Personally, if I sense someone has something in their profile that appears to be a deal breaker, regardless of a high percentage of compatibility, I won't even make an attempt.
*******
As to the OP with regards to the allergy issue? Well, I'm extremely sensitive. If it grows, floats in the air or is manufactured, odds are I'm allergic to it. I can only use one kind of shampoo because it truly contains no dyes or fragrance. I'm also allergic to cats but had one for 18 years. Over time, sharing the same environment, I developed an immunity. So, what it boils down to is your 'fishette' needs to make her own choices not force other people to make choices just to accommodate 'her.' | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 10:03:30 AM |
My border collie and cat are as important to me as my family and friends. So if you have allergies or issues with dog and or cat hair, trust me I will not give them up for you. Is he kidding??????? Granted, the dog (and cat) is man's best friend, but literally??? So should this allergy ridden fishette write anyway, or should she take him at his literal word?
I'm sure he's not, and I sure she should take him at his literal word - he put it in his profile for a reason, so allergy ridden fishette's wouldn't write him anyways and have him having to reject them because they can't handle his pets.
Like most pet-people, I don't take on having a pet as an 'accessory' I can toss to the side, give to the Salvation Army (Pet Shelter) who might just toss it (euthanize it) if they can't sell it. Sorry, you're talking about a living/breathing/feeling creature, not a bunch of old clothes/furniture, I 'adopt' my pets for life (which hopefully is for their lifetime, and not mine).
But are singles over 45 so resigned to never finding That Special Love that they are not even willing to leave themselves open to meeting Mr/Ms. Right unless they accept a "love" on par with our animals?
The point of the post is that in makin such an absolute decision, this pet lover is willing to close off the possibility of finding some person with allergies who just may be The One?
Simple answer, as a pet person, someone who is not the same and would expect me to get rid of my pets for them, is *NOT* "The One" or "That Special Love" - honestly, to me, it sounds rather controlling or at the least unrealistic to expect someone to "change" something so basic in their psyche "for you", rather than accepting your aren't compatible. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 10:11:30 AM | I might also add here, looking at your profile, you're looking for:
tend to click and complement the likes of me; cigar-smoking, motorcycle-riding, expensive wine-sipping, animal hunter types don't.
Are you also expecting cigar smoking, motercycle riding, expensive wine-sipping animal hunters, to give up that for you? I mean, what if "That Special Love", "The One" for you, is actually a smoking, hog-riding, wine-sipping animal hunter -- why wouldn't you be smoking cigars, learning to ride and enjoy wine, and going hunting with him? Why did *you* put that in *your* profile - could it be because you *won't* change those things about yourself, and you put it in there to let people like that know you wouldn't be compatible? But, but... what if they were "The One", shouldn't *you* be more open? (Pot, meet kettle). | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 10:17:31 AM | Read the following in a profile this morning. Just another viewpoint, not mine or that of many but there are some out there...
Lastly, If you have pets in your photos with you, than that's one thing. If you post photos of just your pets, no doubt they may be what you consider your babies, and I have to wonder where your loyalties will lay "No" I'm not kidding.. "Been there, Done that.!" I love animals too. "However" there at the bottom of the family tree... My Partner and Family will always come “First”. Animals "second" friends and associates, well you figure it out | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 11:01:13 AM | ^^^^^^^^^
That leaves me with the impression that animals are disposable and they would put the dog in a trash bag and dump it in the lake should the right person come along that doesn't like animals.
I also get the impression from their statement "I love animals, too" this means they love them with some fava beans and a nice chianti.........I'm going with ultra creepy...... | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 11:42:07 AM |
Several very nice gentlemen have already written me --- privately of course --- offering their personal comfort for all the slamming and bamming that my poor little self is eduring as the result of posting this thread. I'll bet! No surprise there. You broadcast something that riles folks up, get a few bashes at you, and there will be guys out there who make their move on you based on taking advantage of your "lady in distress" status. If a woman is cute enough, she can advocate genocide, and those kinds of guys will "privately offer comfort" to her.
Just what I was thinking Igor!
There are always men available to make you feel better.
You do know how tho ... right? | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 3:53:58 PM |
My guess? Consciously, or unconsciously, OPie has been playing a game of Double Gotcha. First posits some "old person" so seriously warped that animals are more important than people. Damns them. Asks for agreement with her view. Doesn't get it. Then proceeds to damn those who don't support her.
Well put. As are the above.
It was quite the feint.
Chiding once, chiding twice, victim stance, white knight, smug.
Huh. Never saw it coming. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 4:35:47 PM | I dated a couple of guys with dogs and it was a disaster...we could not travel because the dog could not be left alone or had to be kenneled. Dates were only as long as the dog's bladder was big. When they brought their dog over, it chewed on or marked on or dumped on something in my townhouse. And when they worked late or the dog whined at 5 am to be let out, guess who had to walk and pooper scoop up after their dog? Plus they brought ticks and fleas in even with treatments. So now if the guy has a dog, I will respect that he loves his pet but I won't even consider him.
I do have a cat I rescued from the Humane Society and she is clean, quiet, indoor only and low maintenance. She fits my lifestyle and matches my decor, so she is staying. If the guy has allergies, I'll hand him a Zyrtec, but I won't make him change the litterbox. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 4:53:14 PM |
And to clarify: not when you've just met on the net, but iff you've met and you discover that by some miracle you've actually met That Special Someone?
The point of the post is that in makin such an absolute decision, this pet lover is willing to close off the possibility of finding some person with allergies who just may be The One?
And for a pet?
Entitlement issues much?
I mean if the man says he isn't giving up his pets then believe him. Trust me I have met many pets that I liked way better than some of the dates I have met.
Yeah take him at his word and don't contact find someone that is actually "that special someone" And not someone you want to change their life for you. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 7:39:44 PM |
The point of the post is that in makin such an absolute decision, this pet lover is willing to close off the possibility of finding some person with allergies who just may be The One?
And for a pet?
My current dogs will soon be passing on... Their life expectancy has been exceeded a few years ago...
Over my life, I've only had a couple of relationships that lasted longer than my relationships with my dogs.... an those women too, were animal lovers...
In fact, I can't recall ever dating someone who had an issue with four legged pets... I guess they must be few, and thankfully far between...
As for them being "The One", how could they be "The One" if they didn't like animals as much as me...? I'd want a partner who wouldn't think twice about rescuing a stray... maybe not long term, but just to make sure it was safe and gets home or taken care of...
Then too, someone with allergies would be such a pain in the ass to be around... | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 7:54:16 PM | I can't recall ever dating someone who had an issue with four legged pets... . In all my life, I never had a problem with meeting and being involved with men who love animals. There seems to be a great deal more of then than not. I would say that liking animals was one of the capatible characteristics that brought us together. I think either you like animals and understand the bond humans have with them, or you don't. People who do, belong together. People who don't, belong together. Expecting someone to give up what they love to be with you is unreasonable and a recipe for disaster. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 10:30:17 PM | | In my case a cat allergy means that I will not contact the person who states she has a cat in her profile. I love cats, but they affect my health so severely that cats contributed to the demise of my marriage. An allergy is not a choice. My loss, I guess. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 10:58:55 PM | | Hmmm...I will NOT give up my dog for anyone under any circumstances. A dog IS man's best friend...a woman says she wants to be man's best friend but just can't be like that. It's simple. There are some people I would happily watch die rather than give up my dog. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/19/2012 11:55:24 PM | My profile clearly states:
I am a dog person, I have always shared my life with one or more dogs.
This way, everyone knows where I am coming from. Period. End of statement.
Ready_Real, I used to think a little more highly of you. This post was beneath you. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/20/2012 7:34:15 AM |
The original post does seem to clearly say that people in middle age have pets to console them for their loneliness/singleness and that if one meets Mr/Ms Right, then there is no need for a pet.
Yes, I think it is this insinuation that people are responding to. If pets were only valid as consolation prizes for single persons, how come so many couples and families have pets?
Nobody here is saying that they'd rescue their pets from a burning house BEFORE they rescued their children,if a choice had to be made.
OP- while I do to some extent understand your reaction to other posters' reactions, I think what a lot of the "pro-pet" responses are really about,is a sense in your OP, that people who have accepted the RESPONSIBILITY of having a companion animal are "resigned", that they put their companion animals ABOVE people, that they are guilty of disordered priorities.
Granted, it may be simply something being read into your OP on the receiving end, but if so, quite a few people are reading it that way!-but there seems to be a suggestion that "finding someone to be with" ought to be everyone's A#1, top-of-the-list priority, and anyone who puts anything( other than perhaps their children) over "finding someone to be with" has a couple of bolts sheared off.
There is almost a note of condescension, and judging by the responses, I'm not the only one who heard that note...
It doesn't matter that you are not the allergic person. Your inquiry comes across as cold, selfish and rather judgmental.
Yeah, that too.
Igor, message# 50-well nailed! LOL.
RR, many of your posts in the forums are balanced, thoughtful, fair. I'm not sure whether this topic is in the nature of pure "field research", a fishing expedition, or if your response about the private emails is an attempt to invalidate the responses of posters who have come out as "pro" pet/companion animal.( I agree, I prefer the term "companion animal")
The actual question in the opening post is: when someone states a deal breaker clearly, should someone else be outraged and/or disregard that deal breaker and go ahead and contact? (Because doing so is going to make the contactor feel enormously superior to the contactee.)
That's another valid point/another facet of the OT-an implied character/emotional inferiority of persons who would place their existing relationship with a companion animal above "finding someone to be with".
So, OP, while I certainly do not insist that sheer numbers makes a point valid, or that "might"(sheer numbers) is always the master of "right", I think this thread clearly demonstrates that quite a few middle-aged people have places that they will NOT go,to secure a relationship.
Message#62, it sounds like what was REALLY going on here was a guy who had inadequate skils and resources to manage his dogs. I know TONS of people who have dogs, horses, etc and if they need or want to travel, they have organized a system to manage them.
Actually, I'm pretty sure Hell just froze over, because I liked a portion of BlandeAngel's post.
It did, and I'm skating on it,LOL. I liked her posts too!
To those who have posted that allergy issues limit or prohibit their ability to be in contact with companion animals; you have my sympathy. The bond with a companion animal is very rewarding.
Cindy O | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/20/2012 7:45:46 AM |
An allergy is not a choice. My loss, I guess. There are regularly threads on here where people state they are only attracted to and will only date someone of a certain race or height or IQ, etc. None of those things are choices: they are what a person is born with . Your 'defect' is your allergies. Another person's is his height. Another's is intelligence. And it goes on and on. Accept. And accept gracefully, now with this passive agressive bs, 'My loss, I guess.' | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/20/2012 11:46:12 AM |
There are regularly threads on here where people state they are only attracted to and will only date someone of a certain race or height or IQ, etc. None of those things are choices: they are what a person is born with . Your 'defect' is your allergies. Another person's is his height. Another's is intelligence. And it goes on and on. Accept. And accept gracefully, now with this passive agressive bs, 'My loss, I guess.'
Wow, what a serious lack of thought process is that whole statement!
a defect
Allergies makes a person defective and height and intelligence ---guess we figured out what your defect is based on that post.
IMHO --none of that is a defect--some people have high intelligence but can still be rather stupid especially when they say and do stupid things.
A life choice is different from a defect-some prefer to have pets and some don't none is defective in their thinking | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/20/2012 12:12:41 PM |
That leaves me with the impression that animals are disposable and they would put the dog in a trash bag and dump it in the lake should the right person come along that doesn't like animals.
Pretty much. I am thankful for the warning and it inspired me to make some changes to my profile that will scare the animal haters away. Not that I'm a fanatic, but people who dislike animals will probably not get along with me.
Trust me I have met many pets that I liked way better than some of the dates I have met.
Isn't that the truth? The last guy I dated had objected to the dog I was temporarily fostering and when he said "no animals", I told him that I liked them better...
Message 62: Not being able to get sitters for the dogs is a bunch of hooey. There are a lot of pet sitting businesses who will come to your home to look after the dogs. I don't board my birds, so I have friends who are happy to house sit for me because they have fallen on hard times and have gone back to live with parents for the time being and are happy to get away. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/20/2012 1:01:10 PM |
Wow, what a serious lack of thought process is that whole statement!
a defect
Allergies makes a person defective and height and intelligence ---guess we figured out what your defect is based on that post.
IMHO --none of that is a defect--some people have high intelligence but can still be rather stupid especially when they say and do stupid things.
LOL I was using the word 'defect' ironically, hence the single quotation marks. Lack of thought......oh the irony. | |
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| Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/20/2012 1:02:00 PM | | Since I have a dog if I come across someone i've made contact with and they have listed in their profile that they have no pets, I tell them about my dog and ask them if they have issues with dogs. That's why I included a picture of him on my profile so they can see that he's a 20 pound terror...I mean terrier mix. lol | |
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