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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to Man Up, Be a Man, Grow a Pair what makes a Man?
Posted: 5/28/2012 4:54:35 PM | I thought we were talking about what it means to be a man. When did this turn into another "It's all womens fault I can't get laid" thread?
Pupcultureguy, feel free to instant msg me if you want to talk about it. I'd personally like to try and help, but I don't know if you WANT help as much as you want to complain about stuff that doesn't go your way. And from the looks of your threads, nothing has changed. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/28/2012 5:56:47 PM | If you have to log into an Internet dating site to ask random people what it means to be a man you're a bad shape. Honestly, just asking this question in the first place is bad. You're old enough to be considered an adult, you should be able to figure out what it means on your own.
What do women have to do with you being a man anyway? Women have their own problems, you just worry about you. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to Man Up, Be a Man, Grow a Pair what makes a Man?
Posted: 5/28/2012 7:07:00 PM |
Women are allowed to blame their problems on Men, but Men are not allowed to blame their problems on Women, it's always a Man's fault but it is never a Woman's fault for anything. Women are allowed to have insecurities, Men are not.
I get it! You want to be a woman because you think then it would be OK that you're whiny and insecure.
It's okay for women to be frustrated, complain, be depressed, angry about being single, but it's not okay for women to be frustrated, complain, be depressed, angry about being single.
Now I'm confused.
(I dunno...I dislike whiny, insecure behavior in women as much as whiny, insecure behavior in men. But that's just me.) | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/28/2012 8:56:08 PM | Being a man has absolutely nothing to do with being brave or doing risky things.
Being a man is about being true to yourself, your beliefs and your values. A Man does not do things because anyone else wants him to do it, he does it because he wants to do so. A real Man builds himself on integrity and honesty to get what he wants, not by way of deceipt and cunningness. A real man takes the lead, and does not 'follow' because of others perceptions. A real man makes his own decisions. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/29/2012 4:43:05 PM | OP: Whenever I hear people telling me to "be a man," (etc.) I pretty much tell them to buzz off.
I'm not interested in being berated by someone's outdated opinions about masculinity. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/29/2012 10:31:23 PM | | You just asked a question that is so hard to answer that quite literally for most people to tackle it here would cause more harm than good. I'll give a non-spam link (it actually pertains to the question) its: http://www.menspsychology.com/ That's gonna be the best bet man! Hope it helps ya. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/29/2012 10:54:51 PM |
Women are allowed to blame their problems on Men, but Men are not allowed to blame their problems on Women, it's always a Man's fault but it is never a Woman's fault for anything. Women are allowed to have insecurities, Men are not. It's okay for women to be frustrated, complain, be depressed, angry about being single, but it's not okay for women to be frustrated, complain, be depressed, angry about being single. Overall, women are allowed to complain, be frustrated, whine about things, men are not.
Who is doing the allowing? | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/7/2012 5:21:36 PM |
and why is taking responsibility for your life more expected in men than in women? shouldn't it be an adult thing? why is it far more important for men to do it than women do it? who or what made those "unwritten" rules? Because yes, it gets very frustrating, annoying, on how life, society, culture, expect us guys to "Toughen" it up all the damn time, we get criticized for showing any form of weakness
Taking responsibility is an adult thing to do. The only real difference is the verbage that is used. Yes, generally, when someone says to "man up", they are speaking to a male. When speaking to a female, different words are often used, but the message is essentially the same.
If you are hearing this frequently, I would contend you are whining .....a lot. Because, I have seen both women AND men get support during a time of weakness get emotional support, if it was warranted.
The "man up" phrase, I generally hear these comments tossed out when someone is struggling to accept their own emotional responsibility. Heck, I've been that person. In hindsight, they were right. I was doing a lot of whining instead of getting out and making my life better. The sooner I quit crying and took action, the sooner my life got easier. And, THAT is the big message I think people are trying to convey. They do want you to feel better. But, they know the only person who can change that is you. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/7/2012 5:23:41 PM | | Be yourself and don't give a F*ck about anything else. I watched a documentary about how the perception of american men is mislead after WWII because of the soldier heroic efforts in the war and the great depression previous to that. How men are expected to be strong, tough, heroic, knowledgeable etc etc etc. Ultimately this is not true. You are who you are and don't change unless that's what you want. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/8/2012 9:27:12 AM |
OP: Whenever I hear people telling me to "be a man," (etc.) I pretty much tell them to buzz off.
I dunno, I personally feel the same way... only I feel compelled to kick people in the shins as well as tell them to buzz off if they were to tell me to "woman" up or grow up.
I take care of my day-to-day $hit, pay my bills, work and all the other stuff that makes me a grown up (and a mostly productive one, at that), so anyone saying ANYTHING to me that implies that they don't think I'm a "real woman" or a grown up... well they can just get bent.
They are usually just trying to tell you that you're doing this life thing all wrong because you aren't following their example or some nonsense. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to Man Up, Be a Man, Grow a Pair what makes a Man?
Posted: 7/8/2012 11:24:33 AM | HKOangel99: Women in my culture as tough as they are, in the end still gravitate to the nurturing side. Men, on the other hand ended up becoming more aggressive to be able to procure resources (food, water, materials).
Yes. I think this is true for a lot of different cultures.
Being a man is about, being able to be a level headed problem solver, that does what is necessary, and puts wants aside to address the needs for himself or his family.
Yes
But, generally men don't talk about their problems, they try to solve their problems.
Man....oh man, isn't this the truth. There is NOTHING UN-masculine about opening up to your partner about things that are bothering you.....in fact, we WANT you to. I, for one would much rather him share this with me than hold everything inside. And that is SO....SO....SO....true about the man always wanting to "solve". My x-husband did it.....my dad did it.....my brother's do it. It's like I'm just venting.....I'm not really asking you to fix it. Just listen to me. lol
Well you "man up". You make her respect you, stop being a wuss, and take control of the situation.
I know the "holier than thou" guy who posted this is no longer here (unless he's here under a different name now) but anyway.....just want to say, you can't make anyone respect you. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to Man Up, Be a Man, Grow a Pair what makes a Man?
Posted: 7/10/2012 3:36:02 PM | | Both women and men have expectations placed upon them. We can choose to ignore them, but there may be consequences in how others react to us. Ultimately, we need to decide for ourselves what is right for us and not live out some drone like existence but we need to keep in mind the social norms in order to predict how people may react. Ignoring all social norms is fine if you're independently wealthy but for us working folks we will have to care (at least 9-5) how others perceive us.We are all politicians around the office. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to Man Up, Be a Man, Grow a Pair what makes a Man?
Posted: 7/10/2012 9:00:44 PM | Man up. What a noble principle that many men do not follow. Yet how powerful. Man up is not about doing risky things, or crazy things, or testosterone thing driven things. I boils down to another big statement, live by your word. Being a man means that you live by your word. Living by your word also means putting those words into actions, which means is what you say, you will do.
Realize also that men are pack animals. Whether we like it or not, is that ability to work in a group that has allowed humans to be where we are. It also means how we deal with difficulty, imagined, created, or real. Men are intrinsically warriors. That is in our genes. That is why men love sports, war movies, action movies. Man up means that when you are set and agreed to a task, you deliver, you go all out and do your best. You can fail, and learn, you can win and bask in your glory, but you went to battle and performed by your words, your actions.
Why don't we apply this words to women? Anthropologically speaking women have only been able to emancipate themselves in this last century, give thanks to the pill, but also living in a world driven by laws and that women can provide for their own, so they can now man up, or woman up, without having some guy remove her right to vote, work, earn equal pay, hold property, not be property. So the world is really just experienced a quantum leap in human consciousness. Thus women in business, women that provide for their children, women in more advance societies are now put to that standard.
However, it does not change our fundamental nature. Women create and maintain the nest, men go out, battle animal and foe, and provides. That has not changed yet.
Now, look at movies, read a good epic, even read scriptures that are thousands of years old and you arrive at the quest that the hero must endure to find himself. That is transformation from boy to man. Many men die in that process, but it's still as valid to day, in this world as it was 2000 years ago.
So what does it mean to man up. Men are willing to sacrifice for their family, for his children for his woman, for their safety, and they do it willingly because of next most powerful thing other than your word, and that is love. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/11/2012 10:07:48 AM | You have never heard the expression act like a lady?
It's always moms fault or assertive women are called sluts oh please there are many social norms put upon women.
Man up usually means take a stand, and back it up with action. This is a great concept, but the approach is messed up.
I personally think these are expressions to manipulate people by shame and quilt, which doesn't work
To empower people for more than 5 minutes.
To empower a person, they must believe that they can eventually reach their goal. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/11/2012 11:38:36 AM |
i hate how men are held to higher standards in life than women are.
Then stop allowing it!
I never allow a female more leeway because she is female...in fact, I think Im a little tougher on women because I hold myself to higher standards and rightly or wrongly, I find myself holding all women to those same standards. I guess I figure 'if I can do it, so can you' and I dont accept excuses.
If you see women getting away with bad behavour and you say nothing, then you are one of the people allowing it/contributing to the problem. But like most people you would prefer to biatch about it instead of risking not being liked and actually stating upon seeing it with your own two eyes. Soooo typical....and UNmanly!
And, if you think females are not subjected to any double standards, you need to get out and live a little. Talk about absolute tripe!! Both sexes face this and anyone who thinks not is out to lunch. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/13/2012 10:10:23 PM | | We all have standards and we all have different ideas on what we find attractive and manly. In general men are expected to be assertive, strong, confident and courageous. Men do have to prove themselves more as men and to separate from their mothers in a way that a woman never has to, it is true. The basic sex is female and this may be the reason a man feels he has to prove he is a man in a basically patriarchal society. Women have expectations put on them to fulfil the womanly role too though. We all have a mixture of yin and yang and sometimes the balance is out of whack. But we should be allowed to be who we are and what others may expect. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/13/2012 11:07:23 PM | well its kind of an odd question, kind of like "she doesnt have to why do i?" ... :| im not sure why you feel the need to get even or to compete like that with a female. sounds like a child to me.
im a welder an apprentice for a union even and believe you me i dont get easier work, it all needs to just get done and those who complain about it are the ones who get told told to man up. but thats only in my experience. ive manned up major, but it appears to emasculate men when i do, so damned if you damned if you dont right. you decide the standards of your life and what makes you a man and stick to it.
ppl suck sometimes | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/14/2012 4:46:29 PM | | perhaps when it comes to dating, which really isnt vital for survival, it would have been a wholelot easier for ME to be a man doing the work i do, there is no complaint i just know thats how it is. i guess what i was trying to get across is being a "man about it" doesnt mean literally those words are used as a term now, and woman can 'man up' everyone has a choice to do that, or complain. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/14/2012 6:11:23 PM | I was actually going to respond to your inquiry until I read your profile...see below.
"Also, I really hate, despise, loathe gender roles with a huge passion, especially how life, society, culture, as to what they say is masculine or feminine, they expect us guys to be a certain way attitude-wise, mentally-wise, etc. "
Aww what the heck...To man up? Seek and find answers within yourself...blame and accuse no one...for you and only you are held accountable by you for that which you have either allowed, built or destroyed. Unless you don't hold yourself accountable. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/15/2012 5:52:01 AM | Usually I think people mean you need to grow up and act like a mature adult rather than a little boy.
I have my own ideas about how I classify a "real man" which I know is really just my "preferred type" and has no bearing on someone's gender.
But when anyone has such a hatred towards some societal viewpoints they tend to be whiny and lack maturity.
It's not necessary to agree with others to live your life. | |
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| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 7/17/2012 2:25:31 PM | | I truly wish every woman who says they want a real man (or thinks they are somehow fit to judge what, exactly, that is) would find one--the sooner, the better. Then, maybe they'd erase the term, "real man," from their vocabulary; and thus, stop annoying the ever loving hell out of all us artificial guys who are sick to death of hearing it. | |
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