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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/18/2009 7:34:03 PM | The advice of Dr. Dennis W. Neder and expert on dating and author of the book “Being a Man in a Woman’s World” will cause many on this forum to go ballistic. See Dr Neder’s Bio at http://www.kissmegoodnight.com/dating-advice-and-tips/who_is_dr_neder.shtml
Here is a snip:
I encourage men to stay away from dating single mothers at all costs. Yes, I know this doesn't seem fair, but consider it from another point of view: relationships are very difficult as it is. Adding kids to the mix raises this difficulty exponentially. Further, the laws in this country can actually make a man liable for 100% of the child's expenses even though he isn't the father! This happens all the time. Unfair? You bet! But that's the way things are in this "feminized world" we live in. today. Until we get this changed (unlikely to be soon), this is the #1 reason why men should avoid dating single mothers.
See: http://www.datingclass.com/dennis/problem-single-mother.shtml
He gives more reasons to avoid single moms at:
http://www.datingclass.com/dennis/dating-single-mother.shtml
I have read a number of Dr Neder's articles. He seems to be opposed to marriage and usually takes the man's side and often refers to the woman as a b!tch even when the man is mostly at fault and in one instance where the man was a basically a stalker.
See: http://www.kissmegoodnight.com/dating-advice-and-tips/she_is_not_honest.shtml | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/18/2009 7:52:41 PM | | It depends on the situation mainly. I have known women with kids that try to use guys to help them out financially, by pretending to like them and to show interest in them. And then when they get back on their feet they will break up with you. I also have a sister-in-law with 5 kids all by different guys one kid by my brother, even though she claimed she was on birth control while she was with my brother. And many months before my brother got her pregnant i told him to use a condom because i really doubt she's using birth control. But i believe in condoms because i don't want to catch a std nor get someone pregnant, safety first. It also have alot to do with how well-behaved the kids are. I have had kids hit me, called me names, spit on me and called me daddy, bad kid(s) are a major turnoff. And the main one for me is most women with 2 or more kids do not want to have another kid and me wanting a kid(s) of my own could be a difference maker. But if i really liked her and her kids are sweet i would do everything to make it work even if she didn't want anymore kids. I may want kids of my own but most importantly i want to grow old with the one i love. One thing i do know as i have gotten older is that dating is alot harder and more expensive, lol. But i do believe if we put are gaurd down..that protective shield...and open are eyes then and only then we will find true happiness. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/18/2009 10:09:11 PM | | i am a single father of 2 girls & have thought about the same thing. i believe that it can happen. both of my daughters live with me & i am all they have so if someone wanted to date me then they would have to accept the fact that i have 2 girls & if they can not handle that fact then they should move on. i am 39 & i am now the only parent my daughters have & no one will ever replace their mother but if they wanted to help some by being a good female role model for them while we date it would be nice. the way i look at it the right person WILL come along someday. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/20/2009 1:32:13 PM | I ask this all the time made worse by the fact my 3 are asperges. The men i meet just assume i must be desperate for casual ..... Hell no. Or that i want a dad for them. No thanx they got 1 for what ever hes worth. Is it so strange for a man to think maybe i just want to find love like any other human being out there?? But a ready made family is hard enough without the fact my ready made family is a special needs 1. Is there still hope out there for 1 like me?  | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/20/2009 7:27:36 PM | | Well I am a single mom of 4 boys and had no problem. You do not have them meet at first till you are comfortable and then your partner become a friend not a father figure. It makes it more comfortable for all involved. | |
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dis56
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Joined: 1/16/2009
Msg: 259 | |
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/20/2009 7:48:00 PM | | Well girls, I dated and married a woman that was 35 who had 4 kids! What a mistake that was. Obviously I was thinking with the wrong head. After 13 years years of selfish abuse I finally dumped the 5 ****es. No wonder they have a designation for sucker fish on this site.-jimmy | |
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| heres a mans point of view(some men just dont understand)
Posted: 1/20/2009 8:17:18 PM | Kids get use to people and who punishes them and if some guy comes along and they r not the father but ment to be the father figure rushing and trying to do it your way is not a good idea the child needs to be punished the way they r use to the same routine . And changing things just makes things harder on us and the children yes if u have ur own kids you can do it the way you always have ,but when a child comes in to ur life cause u fell in love with there mothers or fathers there are things we all need to understand they are little people use to what there mommie or daddie did to raise them and if we do a dramtic change like this is what we use to do now we dont it will confuse them i know cause my mom did it to me for years everytime a new guy came around his rules went and then he and my mom didnt work and then a new guy and so on and so on  i felt like i was being bounced around then i go to my dads and he was so calm and mellow and quiet it was very confusing for me so when a women says please leave the punishing up to me its for the kids sake not cause she is trying to make it all her way and i have dated a few guys w kids i have had no problem with it the more the merrier | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/21/2009 2:13:31 AM | I think it really depends on the person
I have a daughter so Im kinda living a double standard kinda life. On one hand I hope to find a woman that will both love me and my daughter for everything we're worth but I dont think I would be able to be with a woman that has a kid.
My reasoning's probably go beyond being selfish though. I only get to see my daughter every second week end so I would feel like I was giving another child more affection and attention then my own blood sorta deal.
everyone thinks differently tho so its a verry difficult question to answer and all youre really gonna get is peoples personal opinions on this. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/21/2009 6:53:36 AM | | Well, long story short. The mother who adopted me died in July, 1977 and left my dad a widower with 8 adopted children. I was 17 at the time of her death with my oldest brother being 25. My dad went through the church stage and then the drinking stage while grieving. I lived in a very small town with 2,000 people and 1 stoplight with 4 bars. One was a bar and grill where my stepmother worked as a cook. My stepmother had 5 children from 2 previous marriages. She heard my dad was widowed and knew he came in the bar every once in a while. My stepmother went home one night after work, changed clothes, refreshed makeup, etc. and drove the 4 blocks back to work to sit on a bar stool and wait for my dad to show up. Good thing she did. 31 years later we are a blended family of 13 children, 30 grandchildren and 18 great grandchildren. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 1/21/2009 6:57:48 AM | Well, long story short. The mother who adopted me died in July, 1977 and left my dad a widower with 8 adopted children. I was 17 at the time of her death with my oldest brother being 25. My dad went through the church stage and then the drinking stage while grieving. I lived in a very small town with 2,000 people and 1 stoplight with 4 bars. One was a bar and grill where my stepmother worked as a cook. My stepmother had 5 children from 2 previous marriages. She heard my dad was widowed and knew he came in the bar every once in a while. My stepmother went home one night after work, changed clothes, refreshed makeup, etc. and drove the 4 blocks back to work to sit on a bar stool and wait for my dad to show up and he did. Good thing she did. 4 months lated on April 12, 1978 they married. 31 years later we are a blended family of 13 children, 30 grandchildren and 18 great grandchildren.
And I myself am a 49 year old single mother of a 9 year old autistic son. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 4/17/2009 5:14:07 AM | I have two boys , I dated a woman with two children , We combined them all eventually and tried to make a family . I did not judge or treat my boys better. they in my eyes are little humans with needs too . I believed i loved the mother, and i really believe i loved her children too, I think of them often.We camped we biked, we bbqd .when the ex came for his children there were arguments,I always stood back and listened and allowed her to deal with her family..cause that is what an ex will always be..the outlaw in the FAMILY.
Cant ever avoid them at funerals and weddings.
Any way Step son died at 15 by a drunk driver .yes step son!! he adopted me , cause he trusted me I showed love .women with three children??? just more potential to have even more love .dont have to be the DAD just be the Adult! | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:51:15 PM | | You know.... I just read that article online before I started reading this forum....I WAS DISGUSTED!!! It made me want to reach through my computer and rip his balls off!! | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:12:30 PM | | no to be honest just to much to handle and alot of guys wont raise another man children then you have the baggage to go with it with there ex and i would rather have a family of my own and thats my opion i would rather pass thanks but im not intrested in single mums they are the last resort place to cate no thanks not my cup off tea | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:13:40 PM | | no to be honest just to much to handle and alot of guys wont raise another man children then you have the baggage to go with it with there ex and i would rather have a family of my own and thats my opion i would rather pass single mumsthanks but im not intrested in single mums they are the last resort place to date no thanks not my cup off tea | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:55:28 PM | It would be a privilege to date a woman with three kids. I have three girls of my own, and believe that God gave me the best gift of all: being a Dad. Time to share and nurture her's, as mine are ready to leave the nest for College.
I am age 51 and know my job is only half done. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 6/23/2009 11:16:39 PM | Could we please please stop referring to children as BAGGAGE how about we call them KIDLETS... say I wouldn't want to raise someone else's KIDLETS its the exact same amount of key strokes. So it will not take any more effort just a conscious decision not to use a negative term when describing a children.
I will be the first to admit I have baggage from bad dating experiences just like anyone that has ever dated but my daughter is not baggage rather the best thing that has ever happened to me. You know what after having my daughter I feel less jadded because I got the best gift a man can ever give u -- a beautiful healthy baby. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 6/23/2009 11:27:05 PM | Could we please please stop referring to children as BAGGAGE
I'm not sure this poster was calling children baggage, it seems like he was calling the circumstances surrounding having children baggage, possibly like baby daddy drama, etc.
no to be honest just to much to handle and alot of guys wont raise another man children then you have the baggage to go with it with there ex and i would rather have a family of my own and thats my opion i would rather pass single mumsthanks but im not intrested in single mums they are the last resort place to date no thanks not my cup off tea
Unfortunately baggage is an appropriate term to use in some cases:
bag·gage
/'bæg?d?/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [bag-ij] Show IPA
Use baggage in a Sentence
–noun
1. trunks, suitcases, etc., used in traveling; luggage.
2. the portable equipment of an army.
3. things that encumber one's freedom, progress, development, or adaptability; impediments:
intellectual baggage that keeps one from thinking clearly; neurotic conflicts that arise from struggling with too much emotional baggage. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 6/23/2009 11:47:15 PM | Well my daughter isn't a trunk, isn't a suitcase. With a baby you do have to carry a diaper bag but some women carry more in their purse then what I have in my diaper bag.
Daughter isn't portable equipment of an army...
Daughter has made me realize I need to be the best woman I can be. Because she needs the best mommy I can be. I have to be the best role model I can possibly be for that little girl. I have to teach her to respect people, to be kind and generous and to believe in herself. So she hasn't encumbered my freedom. She's helped my progress and development. You have to be adaptable when you have a child. You have to be able to multi-task.
My daughter has brought nothing but joy into my life it was my ex that made me miserable and I got ride of that 240 pounds of dead-weight. Now he was baggage dragging me down. But my daughter is only 25 pounds much lighter and always makes me smile.
So see the definition in itself doesn't describe a child. | |
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