| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/2/2006 11:23:55 PM | Hey I have dated women that had 3 teens which was difficult to say the least from the point of having to deal with YOUR NOT MY FATHER cyndrome thing
But I dont personally see anything wrong as long there are carrying for each other | |
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| heres a mans point of view
Posted: 2/3/2006 4:56:15 AM | | I have children and it has never been an issue as to weither they'd date me because I have children or not. The problem is finding time for both. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/3/2006 10:47:14 AM | There was a time when I would have found difficulty being serious about dating a woman with children, let a lone 3 kids.
However much depends on other feelngs and ways of wanting to get to know the woman. Last week I met a woman with 3 kids, in wanting to get to know her and the fact we had the ability to speak to each other in thoughts, and answer questions from each others mind.
Sure I would consider dating her, 3 kids and all. Because she has so much beauty and desire to give. However one week on, since she has not appeared in my life again for but one day. I cannot date her unless she finds me again to ask. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/8/2006 2:48:04 PM | | I do not think that the number of kids is the issue. I think that it is what type of relationship you have with the kids and if they show respect and all the other great qualities. I have met single moms with one kid that I would not want to be involved with. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/23/2006 2:49:44 AM | Well quite frankly, I would and have done so. In fact, that is why I am back here now. Well not to exactly to date a woman with three children. I will not mention any names, as her and I atleast salvaged a friendship in the out of the remains of our relationship.
It's just that after returning here and seeing her newly added profile, I would like to address a few things that she included in it...
Ok, If I may... Here we go....
First off, I have been through enough in my life to when "red flags" go up, I should be wise enough to pay attention. But also, I realize that it is not right to make one pay for other's mistakes..So, when I started a seeing a lady that I had not crossed paths with in quite some time, I looked past the fact that she had 3 children by 3 different men. Heck, if i had children by the women I had been with in my youth it would probably be triple that. When her and I got together, she was living in a place beside the father of her youngest child on that man's property. Then, when it turned colder she moved into his place as there was apparently no furnace in the home next to his. I looked past this as well.
In a few short weeks, she moved in with me and quite frankly, I was happier than I had been in years. I took a day off of work when she had to work and had none to look after her. I took another day off work when she had to work and she had none to watch all 3 of them.
I work nights and get home round midnight. It takes me an hour or so to unwind so I usually went to sleep round 2 am. Yet, I was happy to wake up when the children came rushing into our room at 6 am. I would get up and cook breakfast for the them all.
In fact, on the weekend, I fixed breakfast, lunch and dinner as well as took care of the dishes and such. When my job went into overtime ( 10 hour days Mon thru Thur, 8 hours on Fri and 6 hours on Sat...Combined with an hour drive each way.) , I cooked dinner on Sat night and took care of all on Sunday.
On monday mornings and randomly other days, when i was not too worn out to wake, I woke early to take her children to school as they were registered in another school district. Then my she would go to pick them up at the bus stop which was her youngest one's father's place. These children got off the bus round 3 in the afternoon and she usually test me at work lettin me know she was heading back to our home. When the texts got later, like round 5 pm and such, I not once questioned that.
Christmas came and yes, I spent more than I really should have as I believe that children should enjoy their childhood while they have it because we all know that life is not so fun at times, when one becomes an adult. I gave her gas money and put time on her cellphone whenever she needed it or hinted that she did. All of which I am just now financially recovering from...
As time progressed and things seemed to quit "adding up", I kept trying and trying to push the doubts out of my mind. Finally, one night I come home from work and my niece ( I took her and her 10 month old in when her bf left her and she had no where to go) said that she needed to talk to me. She told me that my while my gf and i were having a tiff via text message, my gf had forwarded them to her youngest one's father...That was compile with the fact that my gf was, in lack of more diplomatic words "slamming" me" as she talked to my niece. As my niece and I were talking about this, I noticed that my gf had snuck up without so much as word. ( when one has lived a life as i had in my younger days, one pays attention to his surroundings) . So, I asked my gf if this was true and she said yes, it was.
Now, please bear in mind that I had ignored all the warnings from others and in fact quit shopping at a local convience store due to the fact I would not tolerate those that spoke badly about my gf even if it was a place I frequented often. But, when my niece informed me about all of this, yes I told her it was time for her and her children to go back to her youngest one's father's place....
I appreciate all for patiently allowing me to paint the big picture...Now, the rest of the story....
With all due respect, she has the audacity to put pointed comments in her profile saying "control freaks and mamma's boys need not apply as i have had enough of both"....
I just do not understand.... | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/23/2006 4:36:26 AM |
just came out of a harsh relationship after 15 years, and a deep fear is that any man would be terrified of dating someone with three kids who is 37. Would men actually date someone with that much baggage?
christianmom, I'm not sure I should answer your question since "Who is 37" would exclude me in any event. Naturally, I'm not going to date anyone much older than me--perhaps a year older would be the max. As for having three children: It's very unlikely. One child and maybe two, but with three she would have to be extra special. One child is not so bad, but truthfully I want my own children. If a woman has three children she needs to give them to their father(s) to raise and we will start our own family. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/23/2006 1:38:02 PM | | I met a unbeliveable woman.Were totally ,in love with each other.She has a six year old daughter and I have a 17 and 19 year old. We both adore each others kids.I think of that little girl as if she was mine,and am greatfull to have her in my life.Keeps me young! | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/23/2006 7:30:21 PM | | In my mind if a man concider kids baggage then they are not right. I have a problem finding a woman who is ok with me having one kid. There are men out there who like the fact you have kids it is just a matter of finding them. I myself have a hard time accepting that fact. | |
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oddsr
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Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 112 | |
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/23/2006 9:11:04 PM | Well I need to add my 2 cents to this one .86(after taxes)...I met a wonderful woman, who happened to have...you guessed it 3 kids. I had never had my own so it was kinda like swimming with sharks at the the start. We shared a 10 year relationship as I watched, nurtured and was taugh by 3 kids. I am a wiser, calmer way smarter adult and so much in debt to 3 kids who have developed into 3 wonderful teen and young adults (despite all my attempts to warp them, irrevocably ). I learned just how much value there is in parenting and sharing knowledge and advice with people with trust and sheer enthusiasm for everything new. Sadly the relationship is no more, but the bond I share will never bend or break. There are many men, who, even if they don't know it yet, would be thrilled to experience the laughs, tears, skinned knees and sheer joy of being among the best teachers ever conceived....Children | |
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jneese
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Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 113 | |
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/23/2006 11:10:35 PM | | I too have 3 children and that thought often crosses my mind. I am not looking for a father for my children... their father is very active in their lives. I would date a man with children... of course I would want to make sure they are ok with their dad dating. The thought of a blended family does not scare me because i grew up in a wonderfully blended family.. I love my stepbrothers and I know it can work. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/24/2006 10:18:58 AM | To all the women on here with the same thought ... yes the right guy will date and enter a real relationship with someone in the mid to late thirties with two or three kids. I have done it twice now. Even though the relationships didn't work out ... it wasn't because of kids. One was fairly long term and that was hard when it ended due to the kids but I wouldn't give up the time spent for anything.
As to baggage, if you still have the ability to trust a man and open your heart up when the right one comes along, there isn't any other baggage anyway. The kids are part of what shaped the "you" that these guys want to date, not just baggage to be drug around from one failed attempt to the next.
hope this helps | |
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mish
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Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 116 | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/26/2006 4:15:11 PM | | I was a single guy when I met my ex. She had two kids from her first marriage. I ended up marrying her (mistake obviously, as she's now my ex) and adopting her two children (not a mistake, they've turned out great). After 8 years on my own (no dating at all) I'm looking for a woman who would consider doing the same for me. As I am a single dad looking after my kids. I think you have to be a special kind of person to consider it. I am convinced that there are these loving individuals out there. It's just that they are few and far between. My search has only just begun. You never know? I would gladly do it all again. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/26/2006 5:09:10 PM | | OMG the OP sounds exactly like me. I was with my ex for 16 years, married for 10. I have three beautiful children who are my life. I've been separated now for 10 months and i know it may sound early, but you don't know my story, i wonder the same thing. Will any man ever want me, and the already made family? I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/26/2006 9:19:47 PM | well, lets see here..im single with no children..would i date a woman with 3 kids already ?
it would not matter to me if she had 5 or 6 children. if she was interested in dating me then i would love to have a relationship with someone that has children. i would only hope she would let the children make their own minds as to a relationship with me.. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/26/2006 10:30:48 PM | | This is diected to aguarianghost:I tried to send you a message but your restrictions wouldn't allow it as i live more than 75 miles away. Please don't read too much into my profile, it was kind of a joke. Anyway, you sound great, i would love to chat! | |
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| heres a mans point of view
Posted: 2/27/2006 8:17:25 AM | | kids aren't baggage. The person that thinks they are baggage is the only one with an issue. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/27/2006 8:59:49 AM | well. the first thing you have to look at is. you can only control you decisions. not anyone elses. there. we just took half of your worries away, just by putting things into perspective. lets see what else we can do. now, lets work a little on you. you train of thought. you need to stop referring to your children as luggage. they, next to your own personnal health, are priority one. you made a concious decision sometime ago, regarding these kids. now you have to sacrifice in what ever way needed for them. really. is there actually going to be anyone out there that you want so much. that you would second guess the priority of your babies. of course not. maybe there are men out there that want a woman, with three kids. i think there are lots. but there are very few that can handle that kind of relationship. the man you are looking for. won't want a woman with three kids. he'll be a guy, that is looking for a family to call his own, and to enjoy his life with. you see. your children are not a burden. they are a blessing. please. never forget that. the kind of guy that would only want you and forget the kids. he is no different than a stray dog. he's purely carnal. only lusting after the pleasure that will sustain him for now. you want a man, that sees the big picture. a man like this is deep, like an artist. he paints a picture for others to admire. its not just for his own pleasure. i hope that this helps you. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 2/27/2006 2:37:34 PM | | You know i have a friend that states she will never find someone because she has three kids as well. I think you women have a better chance of finding someone to love you and your kids and wanting to take on the responsibility of your family. I'm in a little bit of a different situation than you ladies out there. I have six children and yes i said six. I have seen the results in just talking to men and mentioning that i do have that many. They run they won't even talk to me on the phone. It is almost like they think that I have some deadly disease or something. I love my kids dearly and I don't feel that any person with children should feel like their children are the "problem" to getting into another relationship. My motto is this, If they cant get by the fact that i have six kids and try to get to know me then that is their loss not mine. Keep your heads up. It all works out in the end. | |
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| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/3/2006 12:40:50 AM | With all due respect, it is not the children that generally cause the problem in a relationship. It is a mother that uses the children as pawns to get what she wants. I realize that all women are not like this and I apologize to all that may have taken offense. | |
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