| |
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/3/2006 9:19:19 AM | | Cheer up, I have been there too and there are nice men out in the world as well as the bad ones. I have three lovely daughters and I just started dating again last summer. Most of the men I have met haven't been the kind of people I would want around them anyways. I have made a good friend though and he is always welcome in our home.Dating is fun, life is an adventure and who knows what is coming next? lol | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/3/2006 9:50:04 AM | You admit you're recently out of a bad 15 yr relationship (marriage) and I see from yoru profile that you're "separated." Do you really think it's a wise idea to just be out of a relationship and looking to begin dating? Where's the rush? You're not even divorced, you still have oodles of baggage to deal with, I'm sure (battles with your ex over the divorce, custody, perhaps alimony, shared visitation, finances, etc etc). Do you really think it's fair to potentially bring some new guy into your life when you've not fully dealt with the old one? Don't you think that will be a little confusing for your children? I never understood why people who leave an unhappy long term relationship are so eager to just try and jump back into something - as opposed to tying up their loose ends, spending some time on their own, working through their emotional baggage and THEN looking to start dating.
By the way - do you think many men are going to want to get involved with someone who's fresh out of a bad marriage, who's not even divorced, who's never taken any time for herself (being out of a relationship), who's likely got emotional baggage and fears as a result of the previous dysfunctional marriage - the probably issues with the "ex", the issues the children might have due to their family now being broken up, etc?? | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/4/2006 11:38:36 AM | | I hope so cause I have 5 of my own.I am so proud of being there mom aswell just like yourself.That is how you will find the right guy, when they find out if you have children or not and if they run, then really why be with someone who does not want kids or does not respect the fact that you have them. | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/4/2006 11:46:29 AM | donwilliams - once again your responses show your naivete and ignorance.
If a woman has three children she needs to give them to their father(s) to raise and we will start our own family.
Excuse me? These children aren't a pair of old shoes or a goldfish - you would really expect a woman to give up her children so that you could selfishly start a new family together? Hey - when you pull your head out, does it make a popping sound? | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/4/2006 4:48:40 PM | | Don, i can say from experience that sometimes, it will be the children that you would be surprised the happiness you find in a child's laughter. The joy you find in the little things that make them smile....You truly have no idea my, friend....In all honesty, it will be them that make you put up with the grief that, at times, the mother can put one through.... | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/4/2006 7:20:27 PM | Absoulutely!! I have three boys.........Been seperated 3 years and have went out with lots of people...not necessarly from this site. In time you will be doing fine. Do keep your priorities in check! And kids are the priority!
One rule I have is I don't bring men around my kids....unless the timing is right.
Not fair to the kids to bring men in and out of their lives.
Best of Luck! | |
|
| |
| |
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/4/2006 7:44:46 PM | id like to think any man like myself would cause if you truly are a man then the children just makes life wonderful to be able to see theirr accomplishments in life as well as being able to help them with their downfalls.plus i am a single father of two daughters 9 and 4  | |
|
| |
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/4/2006 8:09:22 PM | | yes, I did the lady was 7 years older than me she was 33 when I met her and we were together for 3 years, I liked her so didnt mind the kids, and i dont have any. I think if you find the right person he wont care if you have children so keep your chin up and keep your confidence Im sure youll find that it wont matter, good luck | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 12:34:08 AM | Excuse me? ...you would really expect a woman to give up her children so that you could selfishly start a new family together?
Nothing wrong with being selfish. We are all selfish; that's nature. Nevertheless, you are probably right, she would not give up her children so naturally, if she has three children, I would not marry her. She can lower her standards and find someone that will marry her and take on so much baggage or else she can choose to not marry. Those are her two choices. However, she can still lie to herself and others and say she will not lower her standards.
Certainly, I would rather have my own children than to always be the outsider. However, if she only has one or two children after we have children of our own she will be smart enough to want me include me in the lives of her previous children rather than have them feel left out because I'm giving all my attention to my own children. That is, after we have children of our own, she will no longer consider me to be an outsider to her previous children. When I don't feel like an outsider I will be able to love all the children as my own. | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 12:54:28 AM | Mysti L, Quite frankly, it is all of them that should accept the man into their world. If a guy gets along fantastically with the woman but not the children, it is a recipe for a failed romance....and vice versa.
DonWilliams, why is it that one should be able to accept 1 or 2 children, but not 3? Also, why should a woman lower her standards because it is primarily you that would not accept anymore than 2 children from another? | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 2:01:21 AM | | Again, I eventually married someone who had two kids from a previous marriage. Some people have a lot of love to give. Some are just selfish self centred tw#*s. Each to their own and good luck to them all. We are all looking for something we want. So we are all selfish to some extent. It's just some take it to the enth degree. There are some special guys out there for you, so hang in there. If anyone knows of any special ladys out there please drop me a line, because I can't seem to locate them. | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 2:23:31 AM |
DonWilliams, why is it that one should be able to accept 1 or 2 children, but not 3? Also, why should a woman lower her standards because it is primarily you that would not accept anymore than 2 children from another?
It is an arbitrary decision. With some men, five might okay, with others none. With me and almost all young men, if other things are equal, two is better than three, one is better than two and none is best.
That is the very reason she would have to lower her standards, especially if she is in her early twenties or below. Since so many smart young men such as myself prefer someone with fewer or no children she has fewer options; therefore, she is forced to lower her standards or choose someone older, such as yourself, that wants a young wife. In either case she is lowering her standards assuming she would prefer a younger man. If that is not an issue with her, she may actually raise her standards and find a man in his thirties that is superior to what a guy, now near her age, will be in his thirties. | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 2:50:21 AM | I mean no offense...But why is it that she should lower her standards just because you are no interested in her? You sir, are not the only fish in the pond. I admit, that for a young guy, it may be a difficult choice to take on mutliple children and the drama that goes with it. But, by that same token, one should not consider a younger lady taking on an older man a lowering of standards. For the record, a lady chooses her options because she chooses to, not because she is forced to.
I really do not prefer a young wife or any wife for that matter. With the hours that I work, it would not be fair of me to enter into a relationship with a woman...I just come here for the forums, my friend. If one lives in the "boonies" such as I and works the hours that I do...It is kind of like a way to find some sort of human inter-action and communication. | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 7:00:10 AM |
I mean no offense...But why is it that she should lower her standards just because you are no interested in her? You sir, are not the only fish in the pond.
You are absolutely correct here. And the same applies to him: Why should he change his standards just to become interested in her? She's not the only fish in the pond.
For the record, a lady chooses her options because she chooses to, not because she is forced to.
Correct again. Now, this lady must also accept that her choices bring consequences. And one of the consequences is that many guys will see her as undateable because of her children. She must learn to accept this, and keep going. | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 7:08:54 AM | | Um, just how does a lady's children make her "undateable"...It is those types that she is lucky to avoid. Quite frankly, children are not "consequences", they are a gift. The only thing a lady "must learn to accept" is that there are way too many shallow people... | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 7:15:46 AM | | I would most definitely. A woman with kids is going to understand that Chuck E Cheeses may be a great option for a date...... And as I have one child 50% of the time myself.... That may be the only option, but a good option after the relationship has developed enough to expose my daughter to my date. | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 7:22:48 AM | just how does a lady's children make her "undateable"...
Because of the extra difficulties implied in dating a single mother, whether by reasons of schedule, lack of time, extra responsibility, etc., some men will think easier to date childless women instead of single mothers. So, they're undateable for these guys. No disrespect implied here, just stating facts. Remember, both you and I are deemed as undateable for certain women, too.
It is those types that she is lucky to avoid.
And that's good, because those types don't want her, either. But if you are implying those guys are somehow lowlife because they don't want her, that's foolish. That "not because she is forced to" you used in your previous post also applies to men, not only to women. Nobody has the duty to date somebody in particular, nor anybody owes us a date.
Quite frankly, children are not "consequences", they are a gift.
A gift is a consequence, too. There is no value judgement here.
The only thing a lady "must learn to accept" is that there are way too many shallow people...
You may call shallow a guy who cares about things so superficial as height, zits, clothes, etc. But being children something so important and life-changing, why do you call "shallow" to those guys who factor children at the time of considering a possible relationship?
"You are shallow because you take in account the most important thing in my life when deciding about dating me or not" somehow sounds like a contradiction.
In fact, the really shallow thing to do would be not factoring her children in his decision and deciding only based on her being hot. | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 7:40:47 AM | I meant you no offense, an i certianly am not implying that anyone is a "lowlife" by any means. I am just saying that for those of us that cannot have children, they are an unreachable gift of spirit. As far as shallow goes, it takes depth in oneself to be willing to take on the "added responsibility" of a woman and her children.
You also may agree, that there are guys that will tell a woman anything to get them in the sack. That my friend, is full shallowness at it's worst.
Sometimes, "hot" can be defined as the whole package of what one is looking for in life...then again, that dream can become quite the nightmare.... | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 8:07:22 AM |
I am just saying that for those of us that cannot have children, they are an unreachable gift of spirit.
Sorry to hear that. But please understand you can't extrapolate your life experience to all men.
As far as shallow goes, it takes depth in oneself to be willing to take on the "added responsibility" of a woman and her children.
I'd say it takes depth in oneself to make the decision (whether a yes or a no) and stick to it. A "yes" is not deeper, or more valid, that an "no". A guy who knows that he is not ready for that added responsibility and rejects it, is more mature than a guy who knows the same, but accepts the responsibility only because he doesn't want to be seen as "shallow".
You also may agree, that there are guys that will tell a woman anything to get them in the sack. That my friend, is full shallowness at it's worst.
Agree. That's the reason why a honest "No" is a lot less shallow (and shows a better man) than a deceitful "Yes". At least, you know we won't tell a woman anything to get her in the sack.
Sometimes, "hot" can be defined as the whole package of what one is looking for in life
I was talking physically, but I see your point. | |
|
| Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 3/5/2006 8:11:12 AM | | I see you are on the opposite side of the fence as far as what one prefers in dating women and I can respect that. You do have valid points and perhaps, I was a bit judgemental, therefore I apologize for seeming for asking one to adhere to my point of view... | |
|
| |
Home
login 
