| | out all nightPage 2 of 2 (1, 2) | First, did you know about how much she partied before you got with her? If yes, then yes you are being controlling. You can't just go into a relationship accepting someone and then want to change the stuff that you had already known about without seeming controlling.
If you hadn't known, then asking her to stop is within reason if you've been seeing each other on and offline for a while. But hey, she may not WANT to change. If not, don't waste your time trying to change somebody into something that you want/need. | |
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| out all night
Posted: 5/25/2012 11:12:07 AM | | Don't continue to date anyone whose behavior is something you do not like. If you don't like a person's actions then you do not like that person. Pretty simple solution. | |
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| out all night
Posted: 5/25/2012 12:01:40 PM |
I was dating this girl and told her up front how i felt about her partying out all night with her friends but she continues to so am i being controllingas she says if i apoke to her about it? I asked how she would feel about it if i sid the same she did not want to talk about that
so you are not compatible.
Your not going to change party girl so either tolerate it or dump her and find someone
who isn't a party girl.
Pretty simple. | |
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| out all night
Posted: 5/25/2012 1:16:05 PM | Forget this "controlling" bullshit, from the sounds of it, you are already being effectively "controlled".
You are both adults and you both have the right to make choices for yourselves. You spoke up and told her that you aren't comfortable with having a girlfriend who parties all night long, yet she continues to do so anyway. That is your answer right there. She's way more into her partying than you.
You cannot be accused of being controlling simply because you won't accept something that makes you uncomfortable.
Beyond that, I've had a pretty wild ride myself. Partying is one thing, stumbling home in the sunlight is another altogether. This woman isn't what I would consider "datable". It's a lifestyle choice and she has to make her own mistakes and learn those valuable lessons all by herself. In case you didn't already know, slightly older and more mature women don't do this sort of thing nearly as often. Walking home with one shoe and stopping off at a Walk-In clinic for the morning after pill gets old pretty quick as I understand it. | |
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| out all night
Posted: 5/25/2012 1:27:47 PM | | Now that you've drawn thoughtful advice from caring strangers, please let us know whether you decided to follow it and what happened. There are a number of forum posters who want destructive people in their lives no matter what. | |
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| out all night
Posted: 5/25/2012 1:44:08 PM | Clearly you two aren't a match, you're not comfortable with her staying out all night with her friends. I doubt this is a new thing can't change the rules in the middle of the game. If you knew she was like this in the beginning then it shouldn't be a shock. If she still comes home to you then it shouldn't be that big of a deal.
I second that! Its a reasonable request, if she cannot understand that, or calls that "controlling" I highly doubt she is worth any consideration at all. | |
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Posted: 5/25/2012 1:47:22 PM | | If she is an adult and wants a real relationship and you relayed your concerns upfront, her lack of interest in your feelings is a huge red flag. That you care about her safety but also fidelity in your relationship doesn't make you controlling it's called setting certain boundaries for the relationship. And you have a right to feel like she is crossing them because she is. | |
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Posted: 5/25/2012 1:53:11 PM | | Yes you are controlling. If that is what she wants to do and it's her lifestyle, be it. Find someone that fit more your lifestyle and your sense of timing. Now, do not expect to have this conversation with a girl you met at a bar late at night and expect her to take you seriously. | |
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| out all night
Posted: 5/25/2012 1:53:38 PM | | As long as you didn't initially tell her what she can and can't do, but that it is a real issue for you emotionally, she should care enough to honor it so that you are comfortable. | |
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| out all night
Posted: 5/25/2012 2:43:52 PM | | I would never be with someone who told me what I can and cannot do. Out partying all night all the time may be a bit inappropriate, but having a few nights out with the girls is harmless. Sounds like you don't trust her. | |
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