| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 3/13/2007 9:54:13 PM | | I had to reply to this question because I am a single mom of a 6 year old girl...when looking at profiles on here...i am more drawn to a mans profile that shows he has kids instead of one that doesnt....I would date a man with children faster than a man without because he knows what having a child is all about...once u become a parent...alot of things change..and ur outlook on life itself changes...my child comes before anyone in my life and i expect a man to put his child before any woman in his life....i think the true question is ...Is anyone okay dating someone with children?...because i believe women with children have their profiles looked over because of the same reason... | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 3/13/2007 10:04:27 PM | | I am a single mom and I gladly date anyone with kids. It is more hectic... but if they guy is worth it, then awesome! Kids and pets and lifestyle.. it all comes with the guy. The thing that bothers me most is the 'ex's'. Alot of women have ongoing problems with my boyfriend because of the kids and she can be in his face when he gets a new girl. that sucs... but if he is in control of his life, has good bounderies with his ex, and his kids are well behaved (not a guy constantnly screaming at the kids). That is worth it to have a great guy.. doesn't scare me at all. | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 3/14/2007 10:46:43 AM | | I have dated a few men who are single dads , I think it's so sexy when a man take's responsibility for what he have created. I wouldn't date a man who had a child who didn't talk of his kid highly. Being a good father and telling that your a proud father is soo sexy. I have alot of respect for single fathers. I have no kid's of my own but if I'm looking for a man and he is apackaged deal then I guess its just something more that come's along with him. | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:53:58 PM | Hi, I can't answer for everyone but for me the answer is yes a very big YES.
Not having had any kids of my own and a whole lot of love to share, not to mention 2 horses to share ... I would love to be addopted by a Dad and his kid(s). At 39 the window is getting pretty well closed for me having my own. I belive any Father that has the desire to stay in his childrens lives as caregiver or as a constant has to be commended. I belive that they are full of love and may just be able to spread a bit more around. Also they are not afraid of a commitment. You keep going Dads!!! There is a better relationship around the corner for you!!!!! | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 3/14/2007 7:43:26 PM | As a single dad of two, here's my two cents: dads who have kids need to be open about it right up front. Several reasons:
- you either are proud to be a parent, or you're not. Hiding that fact from women you meet says that you're not. Make no apologies for your responsibilties, or your achievements. Your children are both.
- a woman you are interested in will either want to be with you, kids & all, or she won't. If she won't, then putting off telling her about such a large (I should hope) part of your life is both deceitful and dishonest. Do guys actually think that she'll fall so in love that she'll learn to accept the whole kid thing later? Those guys either think waaay too much of themselves, or aren't very introspective. Relationships that last are built on trust...keeping such a large thing from a woman you're dating pretty much screams you aren't to be trusted in most matters.
- I am well aware that many women who want to date consider guys with kids as "baggage", even sometimes when those women themselves have children. And to be fair, the reverse can be just as true. I don't think it's fair, but it is true. So fine...I have baggage. But they're fun, happy, wonderful baggage and I'm a better person for having them. My baggage rocks!! People who are good parents (mostly) get this. The ones who don't, in my opinion, have missed an opportunity, and are to be pitied for their shortsightedness. I met my former wife when she was 8 months pregnant (how's that for not being scared off?), began dating her when our son was 4 months old, and married her when he was three. Now that we continue to raise our 2 children, with equal involvement, I want people to know that that's the deal. People with kids aren't damaged goods, we're better, truer souls who've experienced a larger slice of life, instead of just the "happy meal" version.
I totally agree with what you're saying about protecting the kids, though. Dating is a getting to know process that goes through various stages. Involvment with the kids comes at the end of those stages, not the beginning. I had a previous girlfriend who went through several boyfriends (average length of her relationships = 6 months), each one introduced to and interacted regularly with her daughter. The result? One very confused little girl. | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 3/15/2007 2:04:57 AM | but it happens, it comes down to preference, they (if there have no kids of there own) just dont want to have to deal with a phone call from there dates bbsitter that pulls him/her away from them. They dont understand.
I personally do understand it, I am with kids, 3 to be exact, and i would appreciate the gesture if a potential date was upfront and told e that she couldnt. It is totally understandable, they just want to live a life without the added responsiility, thats cool with me, i like the responsibility of my kids. I think it is there loss for not wanting to be with me. | |
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nalker
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Joined: 4/17/2006
Msg: 159 | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 3/15/2007 2:31:28 PM | I would love to find a man with kids. I have three and hopefully he would have three and then we could be like the Brady Bunch.  | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 3/15/2007 3:53:32 PM | | i would have no problem dating a man with children. i accualy prefer to date someone that already has children for many reasons, such as they seem to be more understanding if something comes up and you have to reschedule a date. | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 3/26/2007 9:22:41 PM | If a father didn't stay with his children , wouldn't he be a dead beat?
In my own experiences, being the dad, I'd say that the women I've dated got tired of the kids, and were happy when they'd go to their mom's for a weekend(every other)
but then again most my age , their kids have already grown ,and are about ready to leave home , mine are still young , 12 and 6 | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 3/26/2007 9:58:52 PM | It's hard for a non-parent to date a parent. You just can't up and go somewhere. The kids are the top priority.
When I do a search, I select with kids.
Single parent dating single parent I imagine is even more interesting. | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 3/27/2007 7:37:56 AM | single percentages is going to be high as its hard for single parents to meet someone genuine and not just after 1 thing!
for me i am 22years old i have 2 lovely boys!I am very open as when children are concerned the parents need to descuss issues the children might have, or disscuss issue either one of you may have.
Like in any relationship, if you can't approch them for an answer to your question, then there is not much point in trying to start a relations if you cant ask a simple question.
Good Luck in finding your lucky lady X | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 3/27/2007 7:22:31 PM | WELL i CAN'T SPEAK FOR ALL WOMEN BUT i BELIVE WE ARE, i AM SPEAKING FROM A SINGLE MOTHERS POINT OF VIEW, i WOULD ALWAYS BE UPFRONT BECAUSE WHOEVER i SEE MUST KNOW MY KIDS COME FIRST AND FORMOST. GOODLUCK. | |
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htgurl
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Joined: 2/7/2007
Msg: 166 | |
| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 3/28/2007 6:27:10 AM | i have been open to dating men with kids but the few experiences that i've had were not favorable.
the men would forget to call me to cancel our plans because his kid got sick, or not introduce me to the child after we were together for almost a yr.
i have just figured that this situation was not for me, however if i met mr right and he happened to have a child i wouldn't completely write him off, but he would be made aware of my reasons for being cautious.
i think you need to be honest with people up front, if they have a preference respect that and don't take it personally, all it means is that she wasn't right for you anyway. | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 4/9/2007 9:22:21 PM | | WHY Limit yourself to folks who are kid less?I like kids, but if it doesn't work out why put your children thru that?Or How old are your kids?Maybe they are Young?? | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:04:17 AM | I am cool with dating a man with Kids,,,and i completely understand that your kids are number one and EXPECT them to be your number one.
I have a child also and she is my number one priority over anything. maybe you could meet a nice single mom to date or go out with who is in the same boat as you.
XOXO MISSY | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 4/10/2007 4:17:03 PM | I prefer to date men with kids. There is nothing sexier than a devoted doting Dad. My ex was and is luke warm to the needs of his kids, so when I meet a guy who is really trying hard to be a great Dad with his kids, Whew! Its a turn-on. Those qualities of kindness, caring, giving, putting others before oneself, never giving up, loving unconditionally - very classy qualities in a man. What woman can resist?
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 4/15/2007 9:22:30 PM | I have been lurking on this site for a while, just to see the forum topics, and now I am finally going to throw my hat in the ring on this subject. I wanted to read more about men with children when I started here because I was debating whether or not I should date a man who had children, thus my entry into the "Single Parent" forum (although I do not have children myself). In all of my reading, I found that most men with children assume that women without kids won't date them because of the lack of attention/lack of money/shallow/selfish reasons, when that is probably not the case at all... at least, that is not the case for ME.
Here is my situation, and the actual reason why I am NOT okay with dating a man with children:
I am a single, professional woman in my late 20s. I have spent the majority of my time since the age of 18 becoming educated (college and then grad school), and then working since then. I have had serious relationships, but have never been married, nor have I had children. The reason I will not date men with kids is because I have high expectations for myself, and therefore have high expectations for the men I become involved with. I managed to make it to this age without having children, and I expect that in return from the men I choose to date.
MY REAL PROBLEM with dating a man with children is the fact that the child will always be there as a reminder of that prior relationship (that I was obviously not a part of). Don't get me wrong, I realize that all of my boyfriends have prior relationships, but I don't need a permanent living / breathing reminder of them!
I also think it's a little simplistic of the people to say "They're my kids, you should love them because they are a part of me!" because the children are a part of YOU WITH SOMEONE ELSE. 50% of them is always going to be that other person, and I would absolutely have a problem with that. It is far more complicated than just the day-to-day issues of "you're not my real mother" that I think about, or the "ex-factor" that others have mentioned, but it is rather the principle that you CHOSE to make a permanent bond with someone else. It is not just until the child is 18 - the choice to have children lasts FOREVER! Therefore, I don't think it is "shallow" or "selfish" of me to choose not to date men with children, because it is a huge issue in a real relationship.
Also, this may just be my $0.02, but I think any man who posts to the "single parent" forum about not being able to date because of their kids is just fishing (no pun intended) for compliments! Most women reading this specific forum are single mothers, so obviously you're going to get a big ol' pat on the back for meeting your responsibilities. Is it a coincidence that 95% of the responses here are "I have 3 kids, and I find it easier to date men with kids so they understand me... I wish you lived near me.... Kudos for taking care of those kids.... If those girls don't want to date you, they are just shallow.... Children are a gift... etc. etc."
If you wanted a real opinion on this matter, you would post under "Ask a Girl" or the "Love Advice" topics....
*ducking the rocks that the single parents are about to throw at her*
...I will be heading back to the other topics now! | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 5/29/2007 12:03:33 PM | Okay, I don't think anyone has addressed this particular point here. I am dating a man with little kids (custodial). We've been dating for a considerable length of time now (close to a year) and I happen to really enjoy children.
My issue is that he feels the need to live two lives, excluding me completely from any interaction with the children, even to the point of being unwilling to disclose to them that he has a "friend". I would love it if he would have me over sometime, and I would be more than happy to just be there while normal life is going on, and pitch in, like any of my girlfriends did when I was a single Mum with small kids. If she happened to be sitting next to one that needed their face wiped, or their meat cut, or their shoe tied, she would do that.
The kids became quickly comfortable with "Mummy's friend" or " Auntie whoever", and it was not an issue. Kids have friends, so why can't parents? I have also done this with other Mums single or otherwise. When we go shopping the kids come along, and they are simply included in the activity. Then we might stop at the park on the way home, and I'd be pushing the swing as often as their Mum would. If women's friendships can work smoothly and comfortably around kids, why can't cross-gender friendships/relationships do the same?
This is where I'm confused. Can some of you single Dads please enlighten me as to why a Dad would feel the need to "not let me in" for so long? Every other part of our relationship is great, but this is confusing me. It also means we are only able to see each other in person very rarely. | |
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sonkie
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Joined: 5/11/2007
Msg: 172 | |
| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 5/30/2007 8:50:24 AM | I personally would love to meet a guy with children, I have always wanted a big family and have 2 boys of my own.
Though I think many bloke run a mile if they meet a single mum. | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 5/30/2007 3:14:39 PM | Hi
Well I have been a single parent now for 22 yrs and reservations about who and how to date.... But of course I dated men with children, as I personally love children and would never find it a problem to have a partner that had them, however many, in reality if you lfall in love with someone then you love what comes with them. But what I did was wait until myself and the man in question were really sure about each other before the meeting of the children, and it did happen maybe twice and was no problem.
My child has always been very close to me and I always kept my social life as it were a bit separate from my home life until the times were right...(not that many were to be honest) but the same applies to me and my child....love me love what comes with me.
There are lots of women out there who date men with children, it can just be a bit scarey for some.....
Caz | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 5/30/2007 7:53:16 PM | | i prefer a man with kids. providing he is involved. this way he wont be trying to have any with me. i love my children but i sure as hell dont want to raise 4 by myself | |
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| are women ok with dating men with kids
Posted: 5/31/2007 3:22:56 PM | I think that women should be open to date men with children.,especially if they have their own. You should also tell them first off . If they dont accept that,well then it wasnt meant to be.  | |
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