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| | Date sites and self esteem Page 9 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) | Now that online dating has become so commonplace, many folks are starting to notice certain ''patterns'', and there's been a growing bunch of stuff written lately about how little the online dating scene resembles ''real life''. As ever the simple fact is that men still 'pursue' and women 'pick'.... except that online, women get way more to pick from, which of course makes them even ''pickier'' (duh)! Plus some guys use the ''shotgun'' approach, pinging almost any and all women online.
The net result is that a lot of gals simply receive LOTS of attention (like the one above who just started, and already gets at least 10 messages a week)! Throw in the fact that many gals often have no real interest in dating, let alone a relationship, and simply post a profile just to receive all that attention for a sort of ''self-esteem boost'' (aka, ''see, I still got it!''). Plus the fact that any reasonably attractive woman regularly gets hit on in real life... often A LOT (so what's it say when they come here)?
And yeah, there are the occasional few who do ''beat the odds'' (kinda like winning the lottery), but realistically it pretty quickly becomes obvious that at least for most men, online dating ain't all it's cracked up to be. Far better chances (and better choices) going ''old school'', meeting folks thru friends, work, church, classes, volunteering, even bars!!
But hey, just keep on with all those Meet Me's and Flirts... a lotta gals still love the attention!! | |
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| Date sites and self esteem
Posted: 12/20/2012 2:40:03 PM | I feel for you My brother. Unfortunately we are in a country or society where everything is geared to woman and man is the donkey. You need to learn certain method of dating or getting woman. you have know their weak point as well as the strength. best thing is to approach them in such a manner not to get your feelings hurt, Because they don't care less about you or me.So why should you.You only care for the one who have the Heart, kindness, manners, class and dignity.
Do not set your goal too high and know your strength. Know your type and go from there.Do not waste time on the one who will take you for granted.Learn to dump quick and move on before you get emotionally involved.
Remember ,it is the society and the desperate man who make these human precious and unattainable. There are plenty of good woman out there and you have to know where to tap and find the diamond.
I have been through the block few times and learned the rope.
Wish you good luck | |
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| Date sites and self esteem
Posted: 12/20/2012 4:40:57 PM | I typically hate articles or books that try to tell a particular gender how they should or shouldn't behave, but this one is pretty spot-on:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/
You care too much of what other's think of you. Self-confidence comes from belief in your own abilities and knowing yourself. Your skills that you demonstrate at work (NOT necessarily your work in itself), school, on the basketball court, in front of the sketch pad or the microphone, etc. are what define you. When you know what you are truly capable of, you couldn't give less of a sh!t if other people know.
How does that relate to dating? Simple, I know what I have to offer the rest of the world as a human being, hence if one girl or 10000 girls reject me because I don't match her iphone case along with the rest of her accessories, that's truly her loss, and I can define discretely WHY that's her loss and not mine. Can you honestly define what you have to offer the rest of the world? If not, that's where the heart of your self esteem problem truly lies.
Good luck. ^_^
Edit: Just realized the OP isn't active anymore. Meh, oh well, I maintain my position on this nonetheless. | |
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| Date sites and self esteem
Posted: 12/20/2012 9:24:17 PM | I think the more arrogant someone is the more inclined they are to be hurt be rejection.
I think rejection helps your self esteem in a way because you're not expecting 'yes' 100 percent of the time.
It makes a person tougher, males should expect a decent amount, sorry guys. Let's face it- women have their choice of men and they just weed out the ones they don't want, at least online. Keep your head up, I'm sure there is a woman interested. | |
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| Date sites and self esteem
Posted: 12/20/2012 10:52:51 PM | Males should start out expecting "no" nearly 100% of the time on POF. After some practice 1 out of 15 or so will reply. You still need to email a lot since not all the replies will lead to a date.
I don't think rejection on the order of what we experience builds self esteem at all in those who do not have it.
For someone like me who does have confidence it does not improve or detract from it. I do find that it builds confidence in making real world pick up attempts because the online dating women make women in real life seem like down to earth perfectly sane angels.
Yes women have their choice. No matter what we think we just approach and present ourselves and they decide.
Finishing this post up I am not going to pull any punches.. be advised..
Women with limited time, attractiveness or social skills or any combination of.... are more likely to have realistic expectations of who they will or won't choose online.
Women who do not have limited time, those who are attractive, have social skills or any combination... are going to have the bar raised higher than they do in real life. They don't need online dating to find a good catch so it is much more likely to be used with the hopes of finding Mr Absolute Perfection. | |
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| Date sites and self esteem
Posted: 12/23/2012 3:00:27 PM | | Rejection happens to most at one point or another, just time to move on to the next... | |
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| Date sites and self esteem
Posted: 12/23/2012 4:57:57 PM |
Rejection happens to most at one point or another, just time to move on to the next...
The reality is that it happens much, much more often online.
Based on only two out of 10 passes made out in the real world failing and the eight out of 10 passes made online that don't work.. About 4 times more likely online.
As soon as I get home from deployment I will be down to 5 minutes a week wasted on online dating. Instead I will just go out and make passes at only the most drop dead gorgeous women.. 30-40% of the time I can land a date with a 10. Much better than dealing with a bigger attitude problem on a stuck up 6-7 online. | |
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| Date sites and self esteem
Posted: 12/23/2012 5:00:12 PM |
I think the more arrogant someone is the more inclined they are to be hurt be rejection.
I think rejection helps your self esteem in a way because you're not expecting 'yes' 100 percent of the time.
It makes a person tougher, males should expect a decent amount, sorry guys. Let's face it- women have their choice of men and they just weed out the ones they don't want, at least online. Keep your head up, I'm sure there is a woman interested.
That's total bs. If you think that way then you should ask some guys. If you are a catch you wouldn't be here anyways.
Sorry but some men do have a choice among women. I do at least, there are sure others like my step mom's cousin who had over 200 women to date. | |
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