largo2
| | Joined: 12/13/2011
Msg: 51 | |
| | Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the funPage 3 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | Wish I could meet you for that drink!
Consider carefully the style of house- the lot is more important in the end.
I had a similar experience with mine; a lot of back and forth and things changing, but in the end the location is exactly what I wanted. In my case there were pluses and minuses between the 2 styles I was looking at. | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/11/2012 8:16:58 PM | My whole married life was a compromise, which was fine. There was 2 of us I the relationship (4 if you count the stepkids) so decisions were made with everyone in mind. It's just how it was, everyone never always got their way, but that's what it's like in a family dynamic.
When we split and I bought myself a house, since I was no longer going to be in "our" house. I was able to pick exactly the house I wanted, with everything I wanted and needed.
It was actually quite refreshing!
I love my house, it's perfect for me!
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/11/2012 9:50:47 PM | Hey Largo!! Good to see you! Maybe we'll have that drink one day...............
Betty: For one, I fricking LOVE your screen name......it's hilarious!!
The area I'm in has little potential for buying without spending HUGE money......which I don't have. I looked at an empty lot (thinking I'd build a little tiny house) and they want $550,000.00 for it. (WTF?)
The development I'm looking at (and put a deposit on) is a rare opportunity in this area. There are existing homes (in the same price range) that were built in the 70's/80's. Hurricane codes aren't up to current snuff.....they're outdated and kitchens/bathrooms would need to be gutted. At least those I've looked at are like that.
Basically, this is a new development in as perfect a location as I could hope for (just two miles from where I live now.....which is a great location) while being in a price range I could afford.
I'm so damn frustrated. A BIG part of me wants to throw out a few expletives (even if I can't spell that word) and stay where I am. But I know this opportunity won't happen again anytime soon..............if ever (in this area).
I'll know more tomorrow.............. | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/12/2012 5:51:13 AM | Im on my second property bought on my own. Nothing takes away from the thrill of being able to do it.
I do see where the OP is coming from though, successes are a little more fun when you can share them with someone really special to you. Least they are for me. | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/12/2012 10:58:14 AM | Went to the development today and walked through the model home again. Doing that confirmed I want to buy rather then throw in the towel because of the latest hiccup.
Femaleconnection: You're right about the thrill......that's how I felt when I went back to the property today. It reinforced how much I want to do this even if I have to make a few compromises.
Cynthia: How's the move going? Are you loving it???? | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/12/2012 10:10:44 PM | @organic
Took my first load of stuff to the new house today. Carpenter comes tomorrow to start some sprucing up before the full move in July.
Walking around the house for the first time in a few months reminded me of the first time I looked at it last summer. There are big ceiling beams and the ceiling is low so there's a place near the bottom step going to the 2nd floor where a person over 6'0" will need to duck. First time I looked at the house I was still seeing my ex who's 6'2" so I ruled that house out. Today I got a little twinge when I saw that beam again. Then it passed. My new life officially started today.
Eventually there will be someone to share it with. He'll just need to learn to duck. | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/12/2012 10:30:10 PM | Well, Happy Birthday Cynthia!!! How EXCITING to open the door to YOUR new house!!!!
It's official.....this place is your very own to "decorate your soul". That's a quote from StarGazin, msg. 9 , and I like it!!! :)
(Short men need love too......... :) | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/12/2012 11:07:04 PM | | Thats funny. I remember renting funky little top floor apartment with weird ceilings specifically because the bf I had just broken up with had been tall. I painted it lavender and went with super girly decor. I would have hung garlic nd crucifixes if I thought that would help. Just dont date any man taller than 5'10 and your golden, lol. | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/12/2012 11:09:47 PM | First off, congrats seriously on your home for you and your dogs :) And nowadays that is a HUGE deal... I know many people who can't do it on their own; so the fact that you can is very much something to celebrate.
Though at this particular point in time it will be you and your dogs, the fact you are buidling a life with substance, beauty, permanence and the abiltiy to make it the sanctuary you love, can be an incredible thing. It might be just you guys now but that doesn't mean it will be forever; you are still transitioning into the next phase of life and these are some incredibly exciting steps.
While I'm sure it's bittersweet (I bought my first house solo with at the time two teens and a young adult children, a cat and a rabbit; so enjoy your solitude; I'm still trying to figure out what alone actually is lol)
So I guess to answer your question, it's weird. Maybe because my starting over was me having 24/7 with my kids, maybe it's because I spent most waking seconds around people almost literally between job, kids, group I ran and the trying to attempt to date; so haven't been alone so much; but have felt since way back in my marriage even that I was on my own. I feel less like that now than I did in my 22 year marriage. And that shouldn't make sense, but it is how I feel.
I really hope your new venture brings you great joy and is the first step in some pretty cool paths for you in your journey. Hope it gets filled with some incredible memories; both with you and your puppies and with someone else at some point too.
Best of luck
(and congrats and h.b. cynthia; hope yours is everything you hope as well, ducking or non ducking guy included) :) | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/13/2012 2:06:57 PM | Moonbeamlover!!! What a SWEET post! Thank you!! :)
To make a detailed story short (that no one would wish to read the details of......can't say that I'd blame you!) the "hiccup" that PISSED me off so much has turned out to have an enormously HUGE silver lining!!! :)
I'm getting an even better deal than I'd signed up for...........all is well with the world!! :) :) :) :) :) | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/13/2012 7:52:42 PM | Sometimes we think things are turning out to be a big mess, but what we don’t realize it is a blessing in disguise.
When my son got married I decided to retire, sell my home & buy a smaller one. I figured I could get all this done within an easy 6 months. LOL, Even the best laid plans can blow up in our face.
At first it went smooth. I got an acceptable offer on my home during the first month & my retirement paperwork went through with no problems. I found an absolutely perfect, or so I thought, condo in uptown Dallas. I thought it would be great, really fun & exciting to live right in the middle of the big city, walking distance to shops, lounges, boutiques, deli’s , & all that fantastic nightlife. That sounded so wonderful & exciting.
Then Hurricane Katrina hit. The next week I was told my retirement was put on hold indefinitely. I was assigned an emergency preparedness team, had 72 hours to get to NOLA, meet with city officials, set up a work station, get the crew organized, yada yada yada. Absolute chaos.
The next day the contract fell through on my house, so I cancelled the contract on the condo. Nothing was working out & I was so upset.
I worked in NOLA for 8 months. When I returned I put my house back on the market, the very next day my neighbor put a contract on it. He wanted to buy it for his daughter, BUT I had to be out in 10 days. I doubted I could find a decent place to live that quick & also I was exhausted from the stress & horror of working Katrina so I considered telling him no.
I had a rental house I had sold several years ago to an elderly couple. Out of the blue the husband called & said he was too old to take care of a house & yard & wanted to know if I would buy the house back for the balance of the loan, (his wife had died a few years earlier & he was going to move in with his son). Without even looking at it I said ok.
I signed all the legal docs without going to the house. I was just too tired, too upset & didn't want to deal with any more bull crap. I figured I would stay there maybe a year & then sell or rent it. On moving day I opened the front door & was shocked! I had forgotten how beautiful old country homes are. The upgrades they did were amazing & very tasteful. They put in a rock pond & waterfall, a glass greenhouse, an artist studio, added a bathroom & sitting room off the master bedroom with french doors going out to the patio. They had polished the hard wood floors to perfection!
At one time the back yard, almost an acre, was just a mess of weeds & overgrown bushes. They had landscaped it, put in numerous country flower gardens, water gardens, & a huge rock patio. It was beautiful!
The neighbor buying my home wanted to purchase the majority of my furniture, which was fine with me because it was all too modern for my soon to be new country home. I ended up buying the majority of the furnishings that were in the country home. Great overstuffed comfy stuff, antiques & wicker.
Everything from there on fell into place. Now when I’m lounging on the patio swing listening to the bullfrogs & watching the sunrise, I am so glad I didn’t buy that cold glass & marble condo with all the city noise, pollution & crime.
So sometimes we do get what we want, we just don’t know it at the time. Like you, it was somewhat bittersweet, but that’s ok for now you’ll find someone to share it with. Your excitement brings back memories, so I think I'll pour a glass of wine & enjoy my home. Cheers & may all your pain be champagne! | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/13/2012 8:50:15 PM |
Moonbeamlover!!! What a SWEET post! Thank you!! :)
To make a detailed story short (that no one would wish to read the details of......can't say that I'd blame you!) the "hiccup" that PISSED me off so much has turned out to have an enormously HUGE silver lining!!! :)
I'm getting an even better deal than I'd signed up for...........all is well with the world!! :) :) :) :) :)
Hey, you're very welcome, and that's AWESOME!!!
Heartfelt congrats, seriously! | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/14/2012 5:57:13 AM | The last 3 houses I bought and lived in.. I bought alone.
Didn't live in alone, though, because I had many special-needs foster children. I felt no 'wish I had a man to share the fun' feelings. I enjoyed it myself, though. And, I really felt a great sense of accomplishment each time I was approved to buy a house by myself.
When I quit working and sold my last house.. downsized to small "just for me" apartment... WOW, the living alone thing was (and is) great!
No bittersweet thoughts here. About living arrangements.
But in some things, yes.
Someone to share moments of the day with... someone I care about and who would care about me.
Really it's more in the little ways.. the little sharings and excitements that can happen throughout a day. | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/14/2012 6:45:43 AM | Thanks peeps, I really did luck out getting this house. The bittersweet wasn't so much about not having a man, but because of all those people left homeless from Katrina. That type of experience can really mess with your mind, in a very bad way & make you feel guilty for what you do have.
I agree with you Drumming, it's the little ways...the little sharing & the excitements that can happen throughout the day. Especially when something breaks down, that is when I wish I had a man around. When I was a young homeowner I was always getting taken advantage of by home repair companies, once I became knowledgeable it stopped. Now that I am an "old lady" it's starting all over again, ugh! They must think I am old & stoopid. When something needs repairing is when I really wish I had man living here, lol. OOPS, the men are going to get me for saying that. | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/14/2012 12:11:42 PM | "(Note to self: Must buy some bullfrogs!)"
I have bullfrogs to share. They take up to 3 years to go from tadpoles to adult. This year I will have quite a crop. It is fun watching them develop. Just before they become adults they are quite large. It is quite something to watch them darting below the surface, playing in the water lilies, or chasing insects.
"Buying a house w/0 someone to share the fun."
I love my house and have fun renovating and getting it just the way I want it for me. It never occurred to to have bittersweet thoughts about it. I suppose the difference is whether or not we worry about having someone in the future to share it with.
Myself, I have no desire to share my home. He can have his house just the way he wants it, and I can have mine. | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:10:40 AM | Congrats Organic!
Truly it is an amazing challenge! You know you are single, but your forging ahead to have your own place! Good for you. I see you live in the south and I hope you got a great deal on your new pad!!
I too am purchasing a home on my own, for the second time. My first was when I was married so it wasn't alone.. I can say each experience had different layers of my stage in life. each one symbolized some direction my life was going and where I am at. As far as being alone, I believe we are all alone at some level, but we choose to infuse human interaction because that is a human need. We are challenged however when we are doing things alone without others presence.involvement, ect. I am sure you have interactions with this purchase and I hope you draw on their support even if it is a coworker, sibling, friend,parent. I suppose your feeling alone is stemming from your dreams of having someone special there to enjoy the process with. Use this a a step int he right direction!! I just went out and celebrated the process alone with a glass of wine and some cheese plate at a local bar. I wasn't the least bit concerned that I was alone. I did bump into coworkers and said hello's but the evening was my own little pamper party! So, be happy for yourself, and enjoy the little things it will bring. Yes, even the new roof you may need!! (Yikes)
And for the record, I'm looking for a cabana boy for the summer at my poolside!! Hehehehehehe (I can still dream!) | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/15/2012 9:53:54 AM | Irisheyes........great post!! CHEERS!!!
I think there are now four women in this thread buying homes.........awesome!! And more that have already done so.......I think that's neat! All we need now is a "Plenty of Cabana Boys" site and we're golden!! :)
I have an appointment on Wednesday with a contractor to meet at the model home to go over things he'll need to do because the development doesn't do them.........I am SO excited!! I will also have an appointment with the "design center" to choose colours, molding, kitchen cabinets in a couple of weeks.......THAT is going to put me on the moon!!
I've bought new construction before but I bought a spec house so the opportunity was gone to make my own choices. This will be a first...............and I can guarantee I WON'T be bittersweet that there WON'T be a man sitting next to me wanting to "compromise" on my choices!!!!! :) :) :) :) :)
Now my biggest issue is that, like Moraima (msg. 72 ).......I want a fricking baby goat!!!!! :) CUTE!! | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/15/2012 10:06:35 AM | hmmm cabana boys... nice touch. lol
Goats are sweet but they do get into things. I had one eat the valve stems off a guys tires. I should have listened to the goat lol
Its wonderful to hear all the positive stories. Sometime we plan, and think its all going wrong only to find out there are much better things we didn't even think of.
Congrats to you all! | |
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| Bittersweet excitement.....buying a house w/o someone to share the fun
Posted: 6/15/2012 10:18:38 AM | ^^^Wonder: The goat ate the valve stems off his tires????? Now THAT is funny!! ;)
At a petting zoo a number of years ago.....I was wearing a skirt.......a flowy kind of skirt. I thought the baby goat that kept "sucking" on my skirt was SOOOOO cute. Then I realized it wasn't sucking.......it was EATING it. I kept trying to get away from it......it kept chasing my skirt.....and I left with it looking like swiss cheese! Must admit though, I've never had something so darn cute "chase my skirt"! :) Or should that be :( ? Ha!
I agree that it's nice to hear a negative go to a positive. I think Drestin made that point nicely. The situation I'm in and the posts in this forum have shown me that I need to remember that (seriously) no matter what........n o m a t t e r w h a t........the situation (whatever it might be) that may not feel it's going my way is only making room for an even better situation.
I think that's called "faith" and sometimes (too often), I forget. | |
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