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 redsox322
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 573
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attractiveness differencePage 26 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
Basically noone will settle thats what it comes down to and neither sex will lower their expectations or standards. People are going to have to deal with it myself included. But if you can fix yourself to target a better type of man or woman do it
 psytle
Joined: 3/7/2011
Msg: 574
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attractiveness difference
Posted: 7/18/2012 4:23:14 PM

This is just something I have noticed recently. Women over 30 seem to think they are less attractive than they are and men have absolutely no problem with self-esteem. I cannot get over how many guys are on forums whining about how they think they are really good looking and can't understand why the hot girls won't respond... when they realy are most of them quite average. What delusion sets in at about 30 that makes a pudgy balding rather unkempt looking guy think he is still 19 and the quarterback and able to get any woman that walks by him? I have been baffled. I know I am really just average looking, not overweight per se... but I have large teeth and sometimes wear glasses. Why is it that guys are not more realistic? Just curious.


Here's a random thought...perhaps dudes seem to have an over inflated sense of how attractive they are because dudes generally don't have cosmetics advertisements and fashion magazines constantly telling us that because our bodies don't match the dimensions of supermodels, we aren't perfect?
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 575
attractiveness difference
Posted: 7/18/2012 4:23:34 PM

Basically noone will settle thats what it comes down to and neither sex will lower their expectations or standards.


i agree. and people DO have to deal with this reality, but.....
of course, the reality is.... there are SOME people that HAVE to lower their expectations or standards because they have set their bar too high, to a point where it's unrealistic, to a point where they don't have much to bring to the table. and these people just don't "get it," until perhaps, ten years from now. hehe.
 redsox322
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 576
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attractiveness difference
Posted: 7/18/2012 4:25:00 PM
I agree. Or if you want a more in shape or better looking person make phyiscal changes yourself. Should have more positive results.
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 577
attractiveness difference
Posted: 7/18/2012 4:54:36 PM
yep yep. i had a much easier time dating when i was weighing 190 lbs versus now, which i'm currently at 230 lbs. my personality has always remained the same. but i'm realistic in the fact that since i'm, ya know, considered a "fat" guy, i shouldn't hold my breath waiting to date some "hot" girl. and this has nothing to do with "confidence." it's called being "realistic." i did not lower my expectations of dating throughout the years, but merely, i "adjusted" my expectations. and this is a problem that affects alot of POF daters. some of these people just don't "get it." they have set their bar way too high, to a point where they don't bring much to the table. perhaps these people will "get it" when they realize that no one is going to lower themselves to their "level." ever notice that people of similar physical/social qualities gravitate towards each other?? like: fat people dating fat people, skinny with skinny, poor with poor, hot people dating other hot people. average with average..... it's true, however, that you'll see average dating hot OR rich dating poor. but this does not happen all the time. my complaint is when some people get all butthurt because they are average and that super smokin hawt guy/girl that they chased, didn't reciprocate their advances. because these rejected people are so "awesome" in other ways. PERHAPS, these people will "get it" ten years from now, when they are still on POF. LOL!! sure, there is a CHANCE that someone "average" could land that one person that's high on the pedestal of qualities and physical attributes, but it is a very small a$$, microscopic piece of a chance. it's a gamble, and when the chances are WAY against your favor, don't complain when the luck of the draw does not go your way.

oh, and here's another question....
why is it that an ugly guy has to jump through 10 hoops whereas an obviously attractive guy only has to jump through 2?? philosophically speaking, of course... hehe.
 psytle
Joined: 3/7/2011
Msg: 578
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Posted: 7/18/2012 4:57:02 PM

why is it that an ugly guy has to jump through 10 hoops whereas an obviously attractive guy only has to jump through 2?? philosophically speaking, of course... hehe.


Same reason that normal people have to jump through 10 hoops compared to the 2 hoops that celebrities jump through.
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 579
attractiveness difference
Posted: 7/18/2012 5:03:02 PM

Same reason that normal people have to jump through 10 hoops compared to the 2 hoops that celebrities jump through.

you bet! and that's how it is on the online dating world. and it's the men that have to do the "hoop jumping." that's right ladies! it is the men that have to "chase" you, and you're job is to "choose." as i have posted before about my 6'2" tall, blond haired, in-shape friend. the women he's banged have made it WAY TOO EASY for him on the POF site.... he's had less "hoops" to jump. ;-)
 CaptainA.D
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 580
attractiveness difference
Posted: 7/18/2012 5:11:07 PM
I agree. Or if you want a more in shape or better looking person make phyiscal changes yourself. Should have more positive results.

Thats interesting. A guy i used to room with. My hight (5-9) he weighs 240lbs, ya he's a bit overweight. He's engaged to gal who is 5 years younger than him and i am jealous of him,lol!. This girl is close to a 9 looks wise. My former roomie is mature, self confident, independant, outgoing, nice dude. Does he make alot of money? Well, he bartends, he does well,has regulars but... its not like he makes 6 digits. This girl digs him! I bet they are married by now and are one of the happiest couples out there. Eric pointed out facts. If a man maintains positivity, confident, just an awesome out look in life, he's gonna well with women. Bro, whereever u are, thanx for the advice as im alot more positive than before. And now, I just gotta conqure my shyness and get out there to meet awesome women!

And nitemonger, the realaztion is..dating sites are a joke. Meeting people in the real world betters chances. Actually, I concluded that i'll just be here for the forums. I don't even have motavation to meet anyone from here. Sure u could talk on the phone, chat etc. But you still don't know that person till you actually meet them. And first meets are awkward. Am i wrong?
 redsox322
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 581
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Posted: 7/18/2012 5:17:41 PM
I agree 100% dating sites are a joke. But You dont have low self esteem one day than think you are the greatest thing ever the next. Ok possible but I guess fake it til you make it. Hey maybe figure this out. If one has been invisible from the opposite sex since the person was a teenager it hurts their dating confidence.
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 582
attractiveness difference
Posted: 7/18/2012 5:25:55 PM

And nitemonger, the realaztion is..dating sites are a joke. Meeting people in the real world betters chances. Actually, I concluded that i'll just be here for the forums. I don't even have motavation to meet anyone from here. Sure u could talk on the phone, chat etc. But you still don't know that person till you actually meet them. And first meets are awkward. Am i wrong?

it's not the dating sites that are a joke, but the people. HAHA! it's ALL VISUAL.... you could put down a whole list of qualities on your profile, but it's all visual. and that's where some people just don't "get it." i've had better luck in "the real world" too. you see how a person is when you actually meet them face to face. but people online suffer WAY too much from "greener grass" syndrome.

i have or "had" a FWB that when i first met her, i actually "liked" her enough to date. we went on four dates, but then she pulled some "greener grass" bullsh!t on me, and it lowered her down on my "pedestal." things didn't work out with that other guy, and surprise SURPRISE! our "relationship" got to a point where she wanted me to be her boyfriend. if you know it's "good" with me, why do the greener grass??

oh, and first dates, with me, are actually not awkward. there was one awkward date i had, but that was because she brought her 4 year old to the date. and she was trying to get the kid to be more "outgoing." lol.
 psytle
Joined: 3/7/2011
Msg: 583
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attractiveness difference
Posted: 7/18/2012 6:07:29 PM
Anyway, ENOUGH about which gender has it rougher.

Who has some other plausible causes for the OP's original statement?
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 584
attractiveness difference
Posted: 7/18/2012 6:12:08 PM
well, psytle, i personally think it's because of media in the TV and movies. these short, "pudgy" fugly dudes that the OP was talking about probably think they can score a hot piece of succulent femininity sexy beast because they see alot of media depicting this strange "phenomenon".... where some high quality 'tang is on the arm of one FUGLY dude. think: marc antony landing J-lo. dude looks like a bag of AIDS. or adam sandler movies. or maybe perhaps these short, pudgy fugly dudes haven't left highschool. i dunno. hehe.
 3ffervescent
Joined: 7/1/2010
Msg: 585
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Posted: 7/18/2012 6:17:45 PM

Who has some other plausible causes for the OP's original statement?




Why is it that guys are not more realistic? Just curious.


I wonder if some of the men in question haven't dated since they were younger,
and still seek the type of women they did in their 20's or 30's... I don't know if they really
think they will get the girl, but give it a shot anyway.
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 586
attractiveness difference
Posted: 7/18/2012 6:19:46 PM

I wonder if some of the men in question haven't dated since they were younger,


i was kinda wondering that also..... who knows? really....
 scifichicky
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 587
attractiveness difference
Posted: 7/18/2012 6:38:26 PM
a perfectly average guy that would have a chance with an average to slightly above average gal would be 5 ft 10, bathe daily, dress in clothes that don't look like they came off the floor, smell decent, and be height weight proportionate... 160-190 lbs. You can adjust that up or down according to height and bone structure. Just because a large portion of the nation has a gut that hangs way out over the belt does not make this an average build. Just because you played all-state in high school 12-20 years ago also does not make you athletic. If a woman on the same token is as wide as she is tall this also is not average or a few extra pounds. The balding part is iffy, a person shouldn't just go all Jean Luc Picard at the first sign of receding or thinning... I would say that about 70-80% of the guys on here are bald, I just wish they would cut it short for a while before they break out the shaving cream.
 pfif
Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 588
attractiveness difference
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:26:45 PM
Make it so, Number One.
 3ffervescent
Joined: 7/1/2010
Msg: 589
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Posted: 7/18/2012 8:48:43 PM

Make it so, Number One.


You know we all heard his voice while reading that...

-nice
 psytle
Joined: 3/7/2011
Msg: 590
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Posted: 7/18/2012 8:52:02 PM

a perfectly average guy that would have a chance with an average to slightly above average gal would be 5 ft 10, bathe daily, dress in clothes that don't look like they came off the floor, smell decent, and be height weight proportionate... 160-190 lbs.


I was about to dispute this, until I looked for myself.

Wikipedia reports that a mean average adult male in the United States would be roughly 5 foot 10 inches and 190 pounds.

Of course, similar issues arise with women as well.
 scifichicky
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 591
attractiveness difference
Posted: 7/18/2012 9:11:30 PM
HAHA!!! Don't ask wiki... just ask me. LOL
 psytle
Joined: 3/7/2011
Msg: 592
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Posted: 7/18/2012 9:36:28 PM
:: shrugs ::

Let's just say that I was looking for a second opinion.

But I digress, how would a woman (average or not) know how to accurately judge these things based on an online profile?
 erik5401
Joined: 6/19/2012
Msg: 593
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Posted: 7/19/2012 1:00:14 AM


I was about to dispute this, until I looked for myself.

Wikipedia reports that a mean average adult male in the United States would be roughly 5 foot 10 inches and 190 pounds.

Of course, similar issues arise with women as well.

sweet! that would make me two inches and 30lbs above average! hellz yeah! ... lol
 pfif
Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 594
attractiveness difference
Posted: 7/19/2012 8:38:19 AM
^^^
^^^
^^^ That's great. Check him out in the Star Trek Captain's Summit
(Whoopi Goldberg hosts the video). I think it's on YouTube.

What a marvelous human being he is.
 Jaimes004
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 595
attractiveness difference
Posted: 7/19/2012 1:06:26 PM
I was offended by that statement, please don't refer to me. This is a warning, next time i will report you.


Lighten up Francis....


v v v: Stripes!
 ComplekCity
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 596
attractiveness difference
Posted: 7/19/2012 1:09:30 PM
^^^^^ I thought you were referring to the weasel in " The Green Mile " but that guy's name was Percy.

Edit :

Oh yeah, Stripes - except that guy would KILL YA

" Any o you guys touches my stuff and I'll kill ya "
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 597
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Posted: 7/19/2012 1:15:22 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ That’s hilarious!
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