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pasmal
| | Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 101 | |
| | attractiveness differencePage 5 of 28 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28) | | My post answered the question unlike your off topic ramblings. Grow up--from you? | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/15/2012 8:47:08 AM |
So he keeps his inane comments, yet cuts anything that doesn't agree with his thoughts? He expects people to think like he does.
I don't care that my opinions aren't shared or that others differ in theirs, but the censorship is not right--I didnt break any terms of service.
It's sad you think this is fine, to have a disgusting clique.
I think I had over half a dozen posts if not more deleted yesterday... more than one topic even. I figured I must have broken some rule or something.. Life goes on.
I think they are trying to maintain a certain tone and not have things spiral into flame wars or something like that... I used to run a forums thing for off topic back in the day and it wasn't easy to keep things somewhat under control; and I run a group now that I also try and maintain a certain tone so people are comfortable, no one is made to feel bad and that it is a positive experience rather than emotionally charged and bitter. So it can't be easy what they do; so if they want to chop my posts out, then I guess more power to them.
Back to the attractiveness difference, people grading themselves and others and deciding who they are "hot enough to be able to appropriately write" and who is "pathetically ridiculous for dating to write them"?
well... when a person complains about the one while also complaining about the other? That mindself itself is somewhat of a turnoff.
If people don't care what rating they are and just write people as equals and look at stuff from other people as equals, there will be a lot less bent out of shap enoses in the joint :) | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/15/2012 8:54:31 AM | My post answered the question unlike your off topic ramblings. Grow up--from you?
If you want to see manipulation and control of what is published, what is said and hat is not, I suggest you move to Quebec so I could give you classes on Convergence of the Media.
Here, some posts get deleted when they are judged off topic. Some of my posts get deleted. Some of his posts get deleted. Some of her posts get deleted. It happens. It happens to everyone. It's left to the judgement of others. SO is governement. When you think that as little as 30% of the population decide what 100% of the population will be getting, it gets to you.
If you don't agree with it, I'd suggest you get off this thread and go file a complaint on the thread designed to that effect, or email the website administrator.
If not, as I said, stop complainning, and most importantly....grow up. From me, if you have too, but you don't know me that much yet.
If you did, we'd probably fall in love. Hard. Cos I'm JUST that cool :devil: | |
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pasmal
| | Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 105 | |
| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/15/2012 8:56:45 AM | It's not like I post constantly, and if I was flaming, that would be one thing.
I would like there to be more reason than "not having the right opinion"--it's a standard of what is fair and equally applied to all.
My post said nothing about who's hot or not or was controversial at all, so the censoring is quite obviously geared to what pleases the mod's ego or favoritism, and that is pathetic.
Kaff-very eloquent.gag. | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/15/2012 8:59:21 AM | "these threads are always confusing,the main reason being in half of these threads women claim that some sort of class system and average guys should stick to average women and vice versa yet the other half of the threads women say give it a shot and "we womne like a man with confidence moreso than his looks". Is it no wonder why some of us are confused?
Guys..you don't get the sugar high from the candy you don't eat...so you might aswell develop your sweet tooth and bite all the cany bars you can."
The women stating that average men should only seek average women are taking a myopic view point. Does that mean as a man I am not allowed to date a woman that makes more or less then me, or is shorter or taller? Most people don't seek mates that are carbon copies of oneself. This is where the expression "opposites attract" comes from.
From my experience my success rate with "attractive" women is pretty much around the same with "average" women. Attractive women (physically) are capable of being stimulated by a man that brings more than just average looks. Likewise, an average woman may seek a man they are physically hot for. All women regardless of physical appearances on the outside are wired differently on the inside.
That is normal, so this is why you can't assume an attractive women will not like an average guy. Likewise, I don't assume just because a woman is average I am guaranteed a date.
Since most women don't do the pursuing they don't understand this point, or perspective fairly well. Rejection is rejection regardless if it comes from an attractive or average woman. You have nothing to lose to ask, and a lot of gain if it works out. | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/15/2012 12:45:59 PM |
I don't remember how scientific that study was. It just stuck with me that out of the group viewed, men rated as many women as being attractive as not attractive and it was a very even looking curve. But the women viewed a large majority of men being unattractive/below average and only a very small amount as being attractive. The OP opened with a statement about how all these guys that aren't attractive view themselves as being more so than she views. I don't know who she has been viewing so can't say for certain how she can really make that determination, other than they aren't to her. But it might just go along with what that study found. OP also stated how she thinks women view themselves as less attractive than they are. My experience has been the opposite for many cases.
It was OK Trends, the now defunct blog for OK Cupid. It also evidenced (at least with respect to their site) that men heavily favor (two-thirds) messaging the top third of women, rating-wise:
http://blog..com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/
"As you can see from the gray line, women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium."
I did find it a bit confounding (if not disturbing myself), because while personal preferences always apply anecdotally, the fact that the median female opinion of the median man is so brutally low. I rated in the top 50% on their particular site (not sure if that's over a 1-out-of-5 which women overwhelmingly rated most men, or 2.5-out-of-5), and in ten months or so have only had ONE date. | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/15/2012 3:50:42 PM | | Bottom line to me is both men and women go way higher than how they actually look. So everyone is dellusional lol. Just kidding. Its worse when men are younger though :( I see this the hard way every day | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/15/2012 6:26:32 PM | While most women have body dysmorphic disease to some extent, thinking they look worse than they do, so do men but in the other direction.
Social expectations of men are that they talk themselves up, then they start to believe it. Women hide their talents and talk themselves down (to protect the fragile male ego I suppose), the life time effect means men who look like Danny Devito think they look like Matthew McConaughey.
Also when men approach me in a rude fashion, or with facial hair (deal breaker for me), and I say no they go on the attack almost every time. Insults and put downs. So really all we ever hear are negative things. | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/15/2012 9:22:10 PM | There is a fine line between Confidence and Ego. looking like Danny Devito is not a bad thing as it is what is inside that matters. But to look alike Mr McConaughy and act like Bret Michaels makes all men look bad
:P | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/17/2012 7:23:50 PM | | Men ALL think they are 19. As a young beautiful blonde and skinny 20 something I remember getting hit on by a guy who was too old and frail to pump his own gas! | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/17/2012 10:01:32 PM | Self delusion. Many people need to erect a facade around their ego to protect it. Maybe they are just hyper compensating for their insecurity? I've always been an "it is what it is" type of person, it's a benefit and a drawback at the same time.
Oh.. and for the OP, I (hastily) made this just for you: http://i.imgur.com/oBtxq.jpg | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/18/2012 5:49:31 AM | I love how they think since they are on a dating site, the world is all of a sudden in their hands and they can go after the elusive beauty queen in the search results they can't seem to find - with success - hahaha. I guess I am the same when I expect a man with high and morals and superior intellect in the same results, and he is never there.
The false promise of the dating world is that you can find that somebody. If you feel lonely, you will still feel that loneliness and at a greater level, because the kind of people we find afar are still the kind of people we have to deal with here. I feel he same way when I find an interesting article on a selected topic of my interest only to find the same kind of crap in the local paper here. I guess I will have to revolutionize journalism to keep me interested. | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 9:19:09 AM | | Its true men do focus on physical attraction however women do it too! Goes both ways, my friends | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/18/2012 5:05:40 PM | Attractiveness Difference???
i dunno OP.... but i sure as hell wish i was a part of THIS club.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyGJXLxtVEo
bwahahahahaha!!! | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/19/2012 2:05:22 AM | Nitemonger it ok your my handsome, my big handsome, My....
OMG Freakin' hilarious | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/21/2012 1:14:40 PM | "My point led into the theme of this thread, "nice guys" If women only find a small number of men attractive, that could be why so many average guys sit around without a date due to a lack of "chemistry". That's just an idea based on the study that was mentioned. "
That study was off and it basically proved another one that showed when women go online they raise their standards while men lower theirs. It's a natural reaction to the fact that the playing field is tilted towards women. | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/21/2012 1:20:13 PM | "I love how they think since they are on a dating site, the world is all of a sudden in their hands and they can go after the elusive beauty queen in the search results they can't seem to find - with success - hahaha. I guess I am the same when I expect a man with high and morals and superior intellect in the same results, and he is never there. "
"Oh wow a hot chick 10 years younger than me...all I gotta do is hit email...unread/deleted WTF???"
At least us guys are honest about it.
High morals, superior intellect...I know a guy like that! He's fat and ugly though. Whoops... | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/21/2012 1:51:28 PM |
High morals, superior intellect...I know a guy like that! He's fat and ugly though.
Hey, who are you calling fat? | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/21/2012 2:16:08 PM | "My point led into the theme of this thread, "nice guys" If women only find a small number of men attractive, that could be why so many average guys sit around without a date due to a lack of "chemistry". That's just an idea based on the study that was mentioned. "
That study was off and it basically proved another one that showed when women go online they raise their standards while men lower theirs. It's a natural reaction to the fact that the playing field is tilted towards women.
this could be true, but if you knew the ratio of drop dead gorgeous people I either refused to date or wouldn't date twice versus the guys that would be considered more on the average side it would blow your theory to heck. And these were all people I met in real life not online.
People do not always pass over people that are a little more status quo attractive than those who are conventionally beautiful.
I frequently was repelled by them literally when spending time with them; they were one dimensional, in love with themselves and utterly boring. In my case chemistry wasn't what they looked like; attraction went way more than skin deep and a perosn could get unattractive in a hurry if they brought literally nothing else to the table.
When will you understand it is not what a person looks like that mkes a person attractive to a woman solely in many of our cases? Unless she is totally one dimensional herself, it is a combination of character, personality, looks and confidence that makes a person attractive; and also to me passion about life. those are HUGE turnons.
The face height and body behind them were only part of the package. And I am not the only woman who feels this way. Far from it.
VVV
:) well... know in my case I also dated people I literally met sight unseen who had no picture who DID turn out to be drop dead gorgeous.. so you very well could be for all I know. (but many women are scared of picless guys because they think you all are married and cheating) | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/21/2012 2:23:03 PM | When will you understand it is not what a person looks like that mkes a person attractive to a woman solely in many of our cases?
When the hundreds and hundreds of local women who have viewed my profile and passed on it because there is no photo, suddenly start flooding my inbox with messages. (wink) | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/21/2012 3:36:15 PM |
When will you understand it is not what a person looks like that mkes a person attractive to a woman solely in many of our cases? Unless she is totally one dimensional herself, it is a combination of character, personality, looks and confidence that makes a person attractive; and also to me passion about life. those are HUGE turnons.
ok, so if you get 2 guys wooing you, and they are BOTH great guys, equal in EVERYTHING but looks. awesome personality on both dudes, great with kids, have good jobs, etc etc, but one looks like "jim" from that show "the office" and the other looks like "kevin" from the same show, which one would YOU choose?? let's be real here.
when it comes to dating, it definitely IS about looks. it's all visual really. you don't notice a person's "personality" when you first click on a profile. and even if you get to see their mannerisms in real life, people will always choose "jim" over "kevin" any day of the week (given if they're both good, and act "normal" in everyway). of course, kevin acts like a moron on the show, but even if he acted like jim, pam would still not go for him. it is what it is. duh!!
when will people admit to this? rather than making themselves appear as if they're "above" going after someone simply based on looks first?? i've seen "good" women date these guys that don't have much going for them, but these guys look good. at least i admit to it. i've emailed women that were way out of my league, looks-wise though (of course, they didn't email me back, surprise surprise, hehe). but there also could be really attractive looking women who are losers who got nothing else going on for them.... basically what i'm saying is WE ALL go for looks, and give better looking people "MORE" benefit of the doubt. they've done social experiments on this. whether you want to admit to it or not, people will always choose and chase after the "prettier" things in life (men are ALSO guilty of this, i've just admitted to it!)
there was this social experiment on tv where they had this homely looking, glasses-wearing, woman walk on the sidewalk, and accidently dropped her books and papers n stuff. they kept repeating the same scenario throughout the day, and almost ZERO, no-one, nobody, helped her out. but when they replaced this homely woman with a universally-considered "hot" chick, wow. she was getting some help from dudes. go figure. | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/21/2012 3:39:31 PM | Heck, I'll date you, OP. :)
Problem is, I am also delusional about my appearance so you may not want to date me. ....
:D | |
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| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/21/2012 3:46:35 PM |
when will people admit to this? rather than making themselves appear as if they're "above" going after someone simply based on looks first?? i've seen "good" women date these guys that don't have much going for them, but these guys look good. at least i admit to it. i've emailed women that were way out of my league, looks-wise though (of course, they didn't email me back, surprise surprise, hehe). but there also could be really attractive looking women who are losers who got nothing else going on for them.... basically what i'm saying is WE ALL go for looks, and give better looking people "MORE" benefit of the doubt. they've done social experiments on this. whether you want to admit to it or not, people will always choose and chase after the "prettier" things in life (men are ALSO guilty of this, i've just admitted to it!)
the guy I'm dating now is short, skinny, blue collar, has glasses (sometimes) and has dependent aged kids; and is a chain smoker. (and a few of his coworkers who only know he's dating someon in their 40s who know no particulars are egging him on to dump dating me and date someone who is a young 20 something coed)
And he was who clicked out of a LOT of people I dated; of all careers, heights, builds, financial and lifestyle differences and physical differences; and he was not ANY of my usual preferences in anything.
And I am crazy about him.
So no. IT is NOT just about looks. And Yes i met him online. And I could not be happier at least so far... and he was not "settling", and he was not just one of a few choices. He as a person is perfect fit, even though the characteristics that make up his physical side or a couple vices were not ones I usually would look at first; but I find him gorgeous now. Because though he's nice looking; with the rest of him included? He's beautiful to me.
I am not spouting idealistic garbage. I actually mean the words I say. | |
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largo2
| | Joined: 12/13/2011
Msg: 125 | |
| attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/21/2012 4:06:42 PM | I tend to go for interesting- both in personality and looks. Standard beauty doesn't usually do it for me, although I've had my shallow moments too. And I find some types of good looks to be an actual turnoff.
Unfortunately, most men tend to go for looks first. ;) | |
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