| | no communication,why?Page 2 of 2 (1, 2) | Agree with both of leftofnormal's posts.
You dodged a huge bullet.
Learn from it. What were your motives for going along with it? | |
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| no communication,why?
Posted: 7/14/2012 5:47:43 AM | | I actually thought I loved her...and...she was my first...I was horriable at it but she decided to stay with me after that and be with me.....this wouldnt be so bad if she didnt propose to me. | |
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| no communication,why?
Posted: 7/16/2012 7:17:20 PM | | You need to stop communication with her. It's likely tearing you up hearing about how she is moving on and preventing you from moving on properly. Like others have said you dodged a huge bullet and better now than later. Either she played you or didn't know what she wanted. Either way it doesn't matter anymore, just take what you can out of the relationship. It should give you a better idea about what you want in someone, so you will be better at choosing next time. But don't give up on all women. There are still plenty of good ones out there. | |
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| no communication,why?
Posted: 7/16/2012 8:20:28 PM | From the time I was very young, I was always very independent, always wanted to study hard, work hard, earn money to take care of myself. I never wanted to fall in love with a man who is financially, physically and mentally weaker than me and passive to the point that I would have to proposed to him. I would not want to take care of a big baby. I was/am an old school I guess.
Be strong, young man. | |
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| no communication,why?
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:18:55 PM | | look, i know this sucks, and i know it is hard, but she doesn't want to be in contact with you. i know that you do not have any closure, but i don't think you are going to get any closure here. i think you need to suck it up, realize that it's over, and walk away with what little bit of dignity that you can possible muster. also, consider that she has made it clear that she doesn't want to be in contact with you. when someone cuts off communication with you, then you should respect that - even though you feel that there is so much more to say. the truth is, there isn't anything more that she can tell you. she doesn't love you, she doesn't want to be with you, and she doesn't want to talk to you. respect that and move on as best you can. i think it is cruel when people do this sort of thing, and i think she is probably a pretty unethical person. she may come back to you someday, but i wouldnt' count on it. and even if she does show up on your door step someday, you might want to think twice about taking her back. she has already hurt you enough and this is not love. | |
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| no communication,why?
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:34:48 PM | | She has communicated how she feels about you! Dont waste anymore of your time with this, plenty of fish in the sea so find yourself one who cares about you. | |
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| no communication,why?
Posted: 7/20/2012 5:34:53 AM | | Thank you for your help everyone, she was useing me, tried to get me to buy her time for her phone the other night, her new bf is pretty much broke for a month and they havent been able to go out or anything for weeks now, so I am happy about that | |
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| no communication,why?
Posted: 7/22/2012 7:08:14 AM | OP
see? she is the kind of woman that makes men distrust women... you absolutely must separate yourself 100% from this woman... she has hurt you badly... here is what you need to do to move on:
1 what you need to do is take anything that reminds you of her and get rid or it, or put it away somewhere where you won't be able to look at it easily...
2 delete her number from your phone
3 delete all text messages
4 do not respond to any of her messages or phone calls should she contact you - she probably will do this to try to reel you back in so she can use you some more - don't let her do this
5 start being busy...start doing things. ..call those old friends you haven't talked to in a while...make plans with friends...go out a lot...do all those little things around the house that you have been meaning to do... force yourself to even date...in other words, fake it till you make it...but have PLANS
6 do not go anywhere where you might run into her...DO NOT, i repeat DO NOT go anywhere where you might run into her...you need new places
7 if you catch yourself thinking about her...get a picture of her in your mind, and deface it...yes, actually do this... if you see her in your mind...well, paint a mustach on her...give her horns...make her a clown...anything funny... not vindictive & violent though...my favorite? take an eraser and erase her... also, be sure to tell yourself that you do not love her...
8 don't talk about her with anyone...if anyone asks...just say that you don't have feelings for her anymore... and you are doing great!
9 repeat steps 1 - 9
if you do the above, you will find that you be over this person with in a few months... and it will help you move on.. but from here on out do not talk to her again...she is out of your life...period...100% NO CONTACT | |
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| no communication,why?
Posted: 7/23/2012 2:09:42 PM | I cannot agree more with the main message for you from everyone. "CUT BAIT AND RUN". do whatever you have to do but put her behind you man and you'll be better off, I know it's hard!! I used to wear my heart on my sleeve when i was younger, but with each passing day it gets a little easier until before you know it the day passes and you realise that you haven't even thought of her that day. Remember there are Plenty Of Fish in the Sea.
Good luck | |
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| no communication,why?
Posted: 7/23/2012 4:15:08 PM | I feel for you. This has happened to me once before (the application of the "no contact" rule) and it was for similar reasons (another guy in the picture).
Maybe she's committed to not screwing her new relationship up, and that being friends with you would complicate her new-found situation. Or maybe the new guy she is seeing forbids her to see or talk to you (if he's the jealous type). This is all conjecture of course, and I am projecting to a degree.
Unfortunately, in romantic relationships, there isn't much room for going backwards, e.g. just being friends. Not that it's impossible, but it is quite a difficult feat to accomplish.
Like you, I was also told to "just get over it," and such sentiments were similarly unhelpful. I too struggle to understand the motivation, but I think if we can get to a point where we can say "it's okay that I don't understand," we will truly be on our way. | |
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| no communication,why?
Posted: 7/23/2012 4:50:21 PM | | Dude, don't give her the time of day. And damn sure don't buy her any cell phone minutes to use to talk to her new bf. Treat her like she treated you....if she wants you back, she'll eventually come back to you. If you decide to take her back, do it on your terms. | |
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| no communication,why?
Posted: 7/25/2012 5:14:19 AM |
yea, its just hard, she had a personality about her I loved to find in a woman for years, she kept on my butt about stuff if I was lacking in something, and she wanted me to SAVE money, those are hard to find.
I'm sure it was great having someone be supportive, but this sounds a bit like you need someone to control you.
Although someone will step up and take that role, it doesn't bode well for you in the long run.
You'll lose her respect if she has to be your Mom. | |
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