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I did write a 20 page story about our relationship--it is quite good. I don't think he liked it, though.
For some reason this cracked me up. ‘Oh honey….I wrote a story about our miserable relationship…wanna read it?’ 
OT
…we had a 2 hour convo when we were splitting up…
Yeesh. That sounds excruciating. Just say goodbye or have a fight and be done with it. | |
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Posted: 6/15/2012 6:04:36 PM |
29 and waiting for marriage before sex?
I suppose there are people like that out there.....but really, 29??????
I wish this was common here in the US. Marriage is for virgins. | |
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Posted: 6/15/2012 11:21:22 PM | | Op, so you want him to wait until you both receive your permission slips to change your government tax status? Because that's all marriage is. It's not a religious ceremony anymore. And secondly, it's just a word. If two people love each other, that's the only thing that matters. To hell with government and religious hocus pokus. | |
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Inicia
| | Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 27 | |
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Posted: 6/16/2012 4:44:10 AM | ^^^^^
Maybe you will find a man with the same values as you have. The one above states he is still a virgin but he may not be choosing that status. To me there is nothing more precious than two people who have chosen to share their body only with the person they marry. You may have better luck with people in the religious venue...I know many people in religious sects who have had only one partner their entire life and most are very content with the intimacy this brings and the commitment they share to one another. Because he didn't tell you that waiting for sex was an issue it is best not to assume this. Just consider you made a good respectful friend and ended it without animosity albeit the closure was a little bit of a slight. | |
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Posted: 6/16/2012 2:53:44 PM | OP, I am not a virgin, been married, had a kid and divorced, but there is no way I am bedding down a man just because we have a moment of hot chemistry between us. I won’t have sex until I find someone I know is committed to me and I am committed to him.
People are always trying to get me to change my mind. My friends, relatives, your name it. I came close once, because I really enjoyed this guy, a few months later we were in a situation where I found myself "hungry" for him. Everything in my being said "just do it" then the phone rang, had a mishap with something and we had to put our evening off. A few days went by and I noticed some odd behavior was getting odder. Then he did something pretty bad and it was like a light bulb went off....."this dude is crazy" .....nope, he is not the kind of man I want to grow old with. His thought process is across the fence from mine. I am so thankful I wasn't intimate with him.
So, don't ever let someone else tell you what to do with your body just because society says it is OK and you should or else you will never find a man. That is all just to make them feel better about what they have done or what they are doing. Ask most women if they could take back the memory of the majority of men they have allowed in their bodies and make it as if it never happened....bet they would.
When the right man for you shows up...you will know it. If your relationship doesn't work out then, oh well, life will continue to move on...unless daisies grow from your belly.
<div class='quote'>I'm glad to see you are putting yourself FIRST. In a relationship it's all about YOU. Your needs. Your preferences. Your accomplishments. Never forget that.
That is 100% correct. I am glad he said this so I can reiterate it. Having said that, when you do get married make sure HE comes FIRST in your relationship, HIS preferences and pay BIG attention to and relish in HIS accomplishments...even before your own needs, desires and wants. If HE feels the same way, you and your husband will have an amazing life together. For now though....it is definitely about you. | |
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Posted: 6/16/2012 9:02:30 PM |
For some reason this cracked me up. ‘Oh honey….I wrote a story about our miserable relationship…wanna read it?’
I sent it to him unannounced, knowing that he would not be able to resist reading it. Besides, he always wanted to read things I was working on--he read the first chapter of my nonfiction book on Mithra, so why not the story of our "life" together? :)
As for virginity before marriage, I have a 40+ male friend who has never had sex and never had a girlfriend. Because of his religion, he will not even consider dating a divorced woman. I had lunch with him the other day and he said that he realizes his options are gone. I am sure that not finding a woman with whom he can share his life is worse than never having sex, but geez . . . | |
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Posted: 6/18/2012 3:46:23 AM | LOL, yes, it is by choice. I'm not going to give it up just because some dumb girl wants a booty call that I've been on 1-2 dates with.
I've never had a girlfriend either :/
<div class="quote"> Maybe you will find a man with the same values as you have. The one above states he is still a virgin but he may not be choosing that status. | |
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Posted: 6/22/2012 6:51:53 AM | what does it mean when a guy texts you to say "you're an amazing person and he'll miss yesence in his life :o) x"?
excuse the error this makes more sense
what does it mean when a guy texts you to say "you're an amazing person and i'll miss your PRESENCE in my life :o) x"? | |
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Posted: 6/22/2012 7:22:03 AM | We didn't love each other yet. I think I could have one day which is why I agreed to date him. It's probably not a religious ceremony for you but I am afraid it is very much so for me which is probably why I am the way I am.
I would want to sleep with somebody that I know values me as a person and sees a proper future with me long term so me saying I would wait till marriage was probably a bit harsh but kind of true seen as I believe in marriage and am not a teenager. I actually don't feel that was the cause of us deciding not to go forward anyway. I just feel I have waited this long and now I know I would get confused about my true emotions for him if I did it before I was ready and I wanted to make sure we knew each other and wanted something more than just sex first. Let's face it in the initial stages that is all a bloke is looking for and I do believe in slowing it down otherwise goodness knows how many men I would have "given it up to" by now. I want the right man for me. He was a great guy and he understood. He respected me for it as he agreed we didn't know eachother well enough yet. The truth of the matter is that I don't believe sex has a bearing on whether 2 people will be together for life seen as all the men I date tell me it's fine and that it will be worth the wait but then it just doesn't work out one way or another which would have happened even if we had had sex. If they don't want to wait there are plenty of women out there that will give it up to them which is why I tell the guys I am dating. I am not afraid of losing a guy to that.
There are a lot of Indian british born who haven't had sex before marriage. Everybody is entitled to do what they want. | |
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Posted: 6/22/2012 7:28:26 AM | Thank you so much. It's funny you said that becuase all my English friends who have done it before are now serious about finding the right one and are therefore dating around and not sleeping with any of them becuase they feel better that way.
It is true you must always put your partner first. I would definitely do that for him :o)
I think we'll all find the right one at some point and then the sex can come in bucket loads and I won't be holding back lol.
Thanks
Take care | |
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Posted: 6/22/2012 2:55:38 PM | | I had one "gentleman". State he really wanted to get to know me. So I gave him my google number. He texted he was in town and could we meet for drinks. I explain I work late so do not think it would happen that day. He stated it was OK. He is a night owl and would love to meet me after work. I asked where could we meet at midnight? His HOTEL bar (I know but this was like red flag number 6 with this guy) I then emailed him explaining I was celibate and had been since my divorce 7 years ago. HE then emailed me stating he felt he was a bad match with me. HE need a woman who was comfortable with her sexuality. HELLO did I say I wasnt comfortable with sex?? I missed when I said it. I like sex but decided I need a relationship more than I need a poke by a middle age man. HELLO middle age men if all I need is drinks and sex 24, 25, 26, 32, 35 year old contact me. WHY would I settle for FWB with a man my age? | |
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