| | How To Be Polite in This Situation...Page 3 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | You have to be forward. Outside of this site I met a man that ended up being head over heels for me within meeting me. He was so shy and nervous around me but pur mutual friend said he liked me a lot. I tried giving it a shot, he sent me flowers all the time and showered me with gifts and compliments. The only problem was he was moving too fast he claimed to have understood my schedule but kept trying to make plans with me, and after a while despite how sweet and endearing he was I had to be as brutally honest and forward as possible. He couldn't handle it so he decided it's best we didn't speak. It hurt but Everytime I asked for him to take it slow he didn't respect my wishes. Sometimes you must have to be as forward as possible, you have to be cruel to be kind.
It was even harder because I did it in person, and he cried. I felt terrible. | |
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| How To Be Polite in This Situation...
Posted: 6/26/2012 8:32:23 AM | I sometimes think people are reluctant to reject another because they are cowards, not because they are trying to save the other's feelings.
Yes, it's hard to be honest and say you're not interested.
Do it anyway.
Stringing him along, coming up with excuses or other stories are lame and MEAN.
Be nice... be honest with the guy. | |
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| How To Be Polite in This Situation...
Posted: 6/26/2012 8:47:35 AM | lol @ Â grantfl80
it IS very exhausting :)
Maggie X i can see why he would obsess like that, you are very beautiful!! isn't it awful when guys start to cry IN FRONT of you? They are just asking for pity, and giving someone who you are not interested in another chance only out of pity isn't worth it, for you or the guy.
By the way, I didn't give him my number, he gave me his.
THANKS everyone for your suggestions!
I did not send messages to him anymore, hoping I wouldn't have to say anything and he would understand. But I had to let him know POLITELY that I wasn't interested after he asked me why we werent talking. I feel bad though because he still looks at my profile.
Now I met a guy I liked and we talked on the phone once. Then, he didn't call or respond to my text. KARMA I guess :p | |
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| How To Be Polite in This Situation...
Posted: 6/26/2012 8:55:47 AM | So, I started talking to a guy who I did not find physically attractive
In my mind I was viewing him as a friend
I feel like he's going too fast
I don't have interest in this person
If you were interested in him and found him attractive I doubt you'd think he was a "friend" that was moving "too fast." You can politely let him know you're not interested and wish him luck; leading him on is far meaner. | |
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| How To Be Polite in This Situation...
Posted: 6/26/2012 7:02:58 PM |
Now I met a guy I liked and we talked on the phone once. Then, he didn't call or respond to my text. KARMA I guess :p
Good, thats what you get for trying to get an ego boost . Typical woman | |
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| How To Be Polite in This Situation...
Posted: 6/26/2012 9:12:18 PM | I would probably suggest being honest and letting him down easy, something simple like...
"Thank you for the date. I enjoyed our evening. You'll make a wonderful companion for a lucky lady. Unfortunately I just didn't feel a spark on my side. It's nothing personal, you just don't feel that special spark with everyone you meet no matter how great they are."
I know I wouldn't find something like that offensive, though I can't speak for every man of course. | |
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| How To Be Polite in This Situation...
Posted: 6/26/2012 9:34:33 PM | Examples of messages I have sent doing my best to be polite:
"I'm sorry I just don't think we have anything in common, I don't want to waste any more of your time. Good luck with your search."
"I'm sorry I just don't see this working, good luck with your search." | |
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| How To Be Polite in This Situation...
Posted: 7/4/2012 7:26:26 AM |
This whole notion that people need to follow strict rules and a timeline for dating is a bunch of crap in my opinion.
Indeed! ... And for those who DO HAVE strict rules, say something right off the bat, please. Will I need a "cheat sheet" for dating rules? Should we all have the same one, I wonder? ... There are no rules—except the rule of respecting yourself and others, and treating people the way you want to be treated.
I frequently talk with people that I have no intention on dating, it's called being friendly.
Yeah. And, because I can "read" only so much about a person from their emails, texts & profiles (and forum posts, too), I need an in-person meet to confirm my interest... most of the time.
... know that you nor anyone else controls anyone's feelings.
Just you over yours... me over mine
One more from this guy:
I wish you the very best and just focus on pursuing what makes you happy!
Thanks. Gotta go. | |
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| How To Be Polite in This Situation...
Posted: 7/4/2012 8:21:59 AM | | dont answer every text, say soz i was busy, been out with this guy that do trick, or just tell him you like him as a friend | |
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| How To Be Polite in This Situation...
Posted: 7/10/2012 2:10:31 PM | Great advice!
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Ladies - quit being "nice" and try being real. You can still be kind, but for criminy sakes, NIP IT IN THE FREAKIN' BUD.
Ladies - quit being "nice" and try being real. You can still be kind, but for criminy sakes, NIP IT IN THE FREAKIN' BUD.
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Just tell him you aren't interested in him, or that you aren't feeling it. DON'T Tell him you just want to be friends! That is possib;le, but most likely he will still think there is a chance for more. He probably wouldn't be on POF if he just wanted friends.
And don't tell him that "you hope he finds someone else." I personally hate that comment. | |
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