| | How Young is Too Young in a Mate?Page 2 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | MustangGirl, if we talk about issues for a 20+ year age gap, I can think of several, mostly from a man's perspective, though some apply either way.
Health issues, the older person is obviously more likely to encounter a health issue no matter how healthy they are right now.
Sexuallity, a women who is 34-40 is in her prime sexually, a man who is 60 is way past his sexual prime. So the man can't be insecure about this, the women can 't be demanding sex 3 times a day and expect it will always happen.
Security, confidence and thoughtfulness. By this I mean the older person needs to feel secure in themselves and in the relationship, which is related to confidence. If the older person has insecurity as part of their character, then having a relationship with someone that is younger can cause that insecurity to manifest. There are always times in a relationship where you each need to trust the other, and if you somehow doubt the other person, then normal events that mean nothing can cause the older person to get insecure or jealous. The younger person needs to be thoughtful about this was well.
But this sort of thing also goes in people of equal age on if one person it considered to be more attractive / desirable by society. | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/15/2012 11:44:58 AM | Op, if you have this many doubts NOW--it just wont work, if he is having doubts now--it wont work--never try and make yourself like and accept someone--it either works or it doesn't.
Age is just a number and while some of us might be x number of years old it has nothing to do with where we are in life.
Im going to college atm, I am graduating next spring and then I'm going to get a kick ass job and make mega bucks (only sorta joking) so when I meet a man my age who is viewing retirement within the next few years--we aren't compatible. When I met men who have gone thru the same basic thing as me and they are sitting on their duffs collection disability and not doing anything to try and rebuild their life --basically coasting--we aren't a match.
Does that mean that only younger men and I have something in common--NO! I have the hots for a man my age who life is on the upswing; his company is taking off and he is working harder than ever, to the point he is never in town :( But my point is, there is someone out there who you can find and be with who makes you feel good about yourself--not DOUBT yourself and they are like precious gold --
Stop looking at age and look at the person--who they are--what they are about--where they want to go in life--then decide if a person is right or wrong for you--never based on age...
For the record, I have been married twice--one 12 years older and one 12 years younger--I have lived with a guy who was 21 years younger than me for 3 years--never once was age an important issue--my kids accepted whoever was in my life since after all it is MY LIFE--their friends accepted it as well since--they were really my kids friends.
Looking for acceptance from others for your course in life will only lead to misery--no one else knows you but you. Follow your own heart not other people's head. | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/15/2012 2:26:57 PM | A year ago on another site I had this 47 yr. old guy hitting on me. At first I was going to meet him for coffee, but I'm thinking to myself at 59, are you nuts! Finally I told him "Go away you're bothering me boy." and later got off the site.
January of this year he tracks me down. He said he had patiently been waiting, figuring I would pop up somewhere. We emailed each other and finally in March of this year we met and knew instantly the chemistry was there. I had stopped seeing him a couple times thinking it wasn't going to work out in the last 3 1/2 months. I finally realized recently I was not looking at anyone else on the dating sites and had turned down 3 dates. Duh!
Our biggest difference has been in music. We both listen to each others music though. We talk a lot about different things. We do like a lot of the same things: spicy food, old cars, conservative with a dollar and politics, outdoors and exploring behind closed doors.
He has met one of my daughters and one of my four younger sisters. They like him and feel we go together. My youngest grandson told me he wasn't going to call him grandpa ... lol. I said that was fine with me.
You do have to get past what family and friends would think because it is not their life to live, it's yours. | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/15/2012 2:30:10 PM | Any age where you can get arrested.
My age range for matches is 35 to 55 so I feel a man aged 34 is not too far away from my preferences.
This is why I have always felt that precise age range restrictions or preferences are mostly pointless. What if one meets someone wondeful who is 1 month or 6 months or 1 year outside of that range either way, as you did? Or someone who LOOKS like they are in the age range by appearance, but are actually outside of it? | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/15/2012 3:13:13 PM | I'm willing to go about 15 years up or down either way.
More than that and I just have nothing in common. | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/15/2012 3:25:27 PM | As long as we have something in common and understand each other, the age difference does not bother me, until they are young enough to be dating my son who is 23, or old enough to be my mothers age when she passed. It is not their birth age that is the most important, it is their compassion, kindness, chemistry, and compatibility with me and my desires, and me with theirs.
As a rule for me those greater than 15 to 20 years difference, would be a stretch for that ever needed compatibility and being able to relate.
cd
cd | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/15/2012 4:55:53 PM | OP....I was in a ten year relationship with a man 15 years younger than me. We went through ups and downs like any couple will. The key was, he was the right man for that period of my life and I don't regret one moment of it. My kids, at first, were put off. Eventually they also came around and realized he was a respectful man who loved their mother. Case closed. You don't know yet that he is right for you no matter what his age. Enjoy getting to know if he's even right for you. As long as he's mature enough to be in a relationship with a woman 13 years older than him, it should be a fun time for you two.
good luck! | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/15/2012 10:09:32 PM | It is not really an age difference, it is more of a what areas is the younger one more mature than their age, and the same goes for the older, what areas are they still clinging to youthwise or are just immature in that area. A couple of those thrown together, and that is how you find someone of a much different age. Most of the women I have dated of a younger or older age, and I am guilty of it also, are just trying to get an experience we may have missed out on at a certain age. But in the end, it all comes down to good sex and then the realization that close to 15 years does not do well for a long term relationship. I will not go back and repost what others have said, but there is a good grocery list here.
My experiences, and I'll spare the details, I was 17, she was 28. I was 28, she was 42. I was 36, she was 21.... All still friends of mine, we just realized it wasn't going to work. It was fun and all of us grew a little, learned a little, and enjoyed the experience without friends disapproving. The relationships that worked were with someone within 2-4 years. | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/15/2012 10:40:39 PM |
He’s still within the half-your-age-plus-seven year guideline
I was unaware of this guideline. Yippee. 
Needless to say, we are both a little concerned about the age gap; not so much for ourselves but if we decided to enter a relationship, what our friends and families may think and how the gap would impact our relationship over time.
Do they have to be told how old he is? That seems a bit personal and unnecessary and sort of inviting drama.
I was in a long term with a man ten years younger than me. Nobody knew it. Nobody asked. Nobody cared. Including us. | |
|
| |
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/16/2012 7:14:52 AM | | Amen Fleuron! I used to go out with a guy from here occasionally who was 13 years younger. We had fun, he was easy to talk to, ambitious and much more mature than some 50 somethings I have met. Good luck to you and if anyone gets the vapors over it, it is their problem. | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/16/2012 3:35:32 PM | I got confused for a second, read as "How young is too young to mate", was thinking 18.
Ah... age, for the ages, try and find out.
I believe age is not a problem after 40, mental health is. | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/16/2012 3:52:46 PM | My very first sexual experience was when I was 17 yrs old in the navy and the two women that picked me up hitch hiking one was n her late 30's the others was in her mid 40's
The younger one said her daughter was older then me ( NO I NEVER MET HER DAUGHTER)
It was amazing as both these women were married and were o a woman's only week end away from the hubby
For long term I hardly doubt it...
Enjoy his youth but forgetabout long lasting UNLESS you have a lot of funds like the people in Hollywood | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/16/2012 3:57:45 PM | | It's really more important as to whether your relationship is something that has the possibility of making it in the long term than what other people are thinking or deciding for the two of you whether you should or shouldn't be doing. | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/16/2012 3:58:28 PM | Sexuallity, a women who is 34-40 is in her prime sexually, a man who is 60 is way past his sexual prime. So the man can't be insecure about this, the women can 't be demanding sex 3 times a day and expect it will always happen.
Dragon possibly YOU cant function on demand but don't try to justify your lack of testosterone on all guys past 64
Having had over 87 women in my 3 year enlistment in the navy (all but three were married) one learns a lot of ways to satisfy a lady .. Being a plumbing contractor who makes house calls one learns to hone their skills even more.
The last encounter I had was right after my 64th birthday (last July) she was home on a summer break and she was at the tender ago of 19 . There was absolutely no issues on supply and demands | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/16/2012 3:59:49 PM | I first heard of the "He’s still within the half-your-age-plus-seven year guideline" on PoF.
It makes a little sense. Unless you are 90 and expecting to date someone 52, or you are 18 and expecting to date someone 16.
Hard to believe, I don't always know the age of someone I was dating. Ten years sounds insignificant to me once the older person is past 30. | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/16/2012 4:09:12 PM | NYC, a man has to know his limitations.
I know 5 orgasms in one day is my limit. Day in and day out for 30+ days, maybe twice a day, sometimes 3.
But I don't like to be in a rush, like if someone says I have 10 min, I would rather not.
Women at 19 aren't at their prime sexually, they aren't really demanding.
EDIT: I don't perform on demand, that is just how I feel about it. | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/17/2012 4:14:19 AM | The meet went well. He's lovely in person. But he looks a lot younger than his age. I think he's blessed with a baby face, hasn't spent a lot of time in the sun, so has no lines or creases as yet.
He and I have differing attitudes to certain things - one of which could be a deal-breaker. I have dogs which are allowed inside my home and he doesn't like that, he says they should be outside only.
My real concern wasn't the chronological ages so much as the life stages we're at. I'm much closer to retirement than he is...for example. He has young children...I have none. And so on.
My ex-husband is five years younger than I am. I've usually dated younger men...I dated a man ten years younger last year but it was a light-hearted and non-emotional relationship.
The other man I've been seeing - it's complicated but we are still seeing each other.
The young man - wants to see me again...and I'm not sure we have enough common ground yet. I have a lot to think about. He is lovely and the last thing I want to do is lead him on or hurt him. | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/17/2012 4:42:20 AM | | You're both within the same generation and relative age bracket. You'll be fine so long as there is mutual understanding and care. The mother of his children should be happy that he is dating a mature and respnsible woman who'll set a good example in front of her children. | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/17/2012 1:51:48 PM | You go girl! My co-worker's husband is 13 years her junior. They met at work when she was 45 years old, they fell in love and got married. They have 2 sons together and their love for one another is going on 14 years now. She has a daughter from a previous marriage, at the time, the daughter was about 12 and she loves her step-dad.
Do not think about the gap and just go and fun! Enjoy! | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/17/2012 2:00:13 PM | | To answer the subject question, I must use my daughter as a frame of reference. The lady should be at least five years older than my daughter. Now, I am starting to believe ten years older than my daughter [29]. LOL Can ya feel me? | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/17/2012 10:38:53 PM | OP, one of the best relationships I had was not a romance, but a friendship with a coworker who was 22 years younger than I was. Some people may have thought that was inappropriate, but we became friends because we had a lot of interests in common, never ran out of things to talk about and had a blast working out, biking, cooking, going out for bowling, karoke, shopping, plays, mission trips, etc. Had he been 10 years older (or if I had been 10 years younger), we might have been more than friends and a 12 year age difference would not have bothered as anymore than the 22 year difference did in our friendship.
The thing to remember as you move forward is that the things that connect you and this man together as a couple has nothing to do with age so don't let anyone's preconceived notions about what age range is appropriate affect your relationship. Concentrate on the person and the relationship, not their birthday or yours. | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/20/2012 3:30:42 AM | He is really keen to see me again. He wanted to have dinner and see a movie tonight but I declined as I have an early start through the week. I didn't want him to come all the way to my area only to have to go home a few hours later...there's 100 kms or so between his area and mine so it's a bit of a trip. He has his children this weekend but he said we can catch up early next week.
Who knows where it might go? Right now, I'm just happy that he's communicative and keen. He's been texting me every day (lots of messages) which is a really positive thing for me. :D | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/21/2012 1:15:02 AM | Go for it girl. There are guys who truly appreciate a more mature woman. Tonight a guy in my neighborhood 1/2 my age and majorly adorable was trying to explain to me again that he has absolutely no patience with younger women and finds older women much more attractive on all levels. I've heard it's that way in Tahiti, older women get more attn than the 20 somethings.
He's been hitting on me for a couple of months now, even has his friends telling me I should take him seriously, its really cute. Maybe I'll hang out with him this week, just as friends of course, lol. | |
|
| How Young is Too Young in a Mate?
Posted: 6/21/2012 6:45:03 AM | | NO one lives in a bubble. When I was dating my ex husband my family didnt care he was white but perfect strangers would come up to us and give us their thoughts on interracial relationships. YOU have to think about how this effects your world. I met an older interracial married couple who kept it a secret. They had been married for over 30 years.... they knew their relationship was NO one's business but still people can and do make it their business. | |
|
Home
login 
