| | If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?Page 4 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | I've kind of given up. I'm a huge introvert, and women doesn't make it easy at all to stay interested. They usually are looking for something long term and someone to be "the one" . With such high expectations and standards, women shouldn't be surprised why men will cheat when they can.
I'm not gay, but each day I find myself less and less interested in dealing with women. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 2:58:40 PM | | @idontcare...I think you need to take a look at yourself rather than blaming others. Just my opinion, of course, but you label yourself an introvert but you're interested in casual sex. And your allegations against women based on your experience has nothing to do with men and cheating. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 3:45:01 PM | @idontcare...I think you need to take a look at yourself rather than blaming others. Just my opinion, of course, but you label yourself an introvert but you're interested in casual sex. And your allegations against women based on your experience has nothing to do with men and cheating.
agree with the above poster. Anyone who publicly posts that they are interested in casual no strings sex does not qualify as a true introvert... am guessing that is more the issue than the shyness...
Why does his statement of not desiring to deal with women have to be a indication of a problem?
I am of the same opinion. I have no desire to have a co-habituation /marriage relationship at all.
I would rather find a relationship that we both keep our own houses and just see each other a few time a week. Staying over at each others house maybe on the weekends and then going home.
I have no issues. It is just what I would rather have.
Funny when men does not conform to the way women think a relationship should be they label the men as damaged.
Me thinks the ladies projects to much. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 3:51:41 PM | ^^oh for God's sake... you twist EVERYTHING I say...
I did not say his wanting no strings sex was a problem. I said his saying he was SHY while claiming to want no strings casual sex might be getting him in trouble with conflicting messages.
Learn to read without your own projecting, kind sir... | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 4:02:37 PM |
I did not say his wanting no strings sex was a problem. I said his saying he was SHY while claiming to want no strings casual sex might be getting him in trouble with conflicting messages.
Learn to read without your own projecting, kind sir...
I didn't twist a thing.
Being a introvert doesn't mean you can't want NSA sex.
I know a lot of shy ladies that like casual sex.
Just because someone is shy and doesn't want a "relationship" doesn't mean there is any issues with them. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 4:07:16 PM | One can WANT NSA sex all day long and twice on Sunday, but being an introvert might make this aspiration more difficult. I didn't project anything.
His being an introvert might be more the issue here than his idea that there is a lack of women wanting NSA sex. He may live in a small town with not many available women. Who knows. I just offered a perspective different from the one he was putting out there.
**Sigh, No I didn't. He is blaming women for not wanting to be NSA sex partners with him. He's absolutely blaming others.
ETA--At the end of the day, I don't give a rats if he decides to be gay, swears off women forever, only has sex and never a relationship. I'm not judging him. But if you come to a forum looking for advice then that's what you'll get. Unless you're just looking for sympathy. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 4:14:35 PM |
I just offered a perspective different from the one he was putting out there.
Really here are your words.
@idontcare...I think you need to take a look at yourself rather than blaming others
I didn't see him blame anyone he stated what he has experienced. You are the one that blamed him. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 4:42:38 PM | Men: Cave Dwellers
Women: Grassy Knolls
Men have caves within caves. One cave is reserved for work, one for play, one for their women and one for their…..well, their nothing. Their nothing cave is the most important for a woman to understand.
When she says to him “babe, whatcha thinkin bout?” and he says “Nothing!” WOMEN PLEASE LISTEN CAREFULLY…HE IS NOT LYING. He is actually thinking about nothing. He is in his nothing cave…and NO! you can’t go in there. He doesn’t want anything in there..not your curtains or your pictures or your mouth. He is busy doing nothing in his nothing cave. Leave him alone. Go to your grassy knoll and play with the ants if you want to get bitten.
Men may have more caves than I mentioned but each on is pretty singular. See, men can’t think like women…we have a zillion things going on in our head at one time. Lets go over to our grassy knoll….
OK here we are. Now let’s climb up to the mountain top and look down…you see all those lines connecting and interconnecting around and within our grassy knoll? That is our brain waves. We have hundreds of things going on in our minds. Our connectivity is large and very busy. Now take off the top of the mountain and look inside the cave….just a few holes…not much going on in any of them, just your guy happily hanging out in one of his caves. Now the work cave can get intense. We don’t even want to go in there but you see that one over on the right side…that is the one we can get into. There is even some cool stuff going on in there and some sexy stuff too. He loves to have us in there. It makes him happy. He will listen to anything we want to talk about but once he retreats to another cave…tread lightly. His thoughts are on whatever is in that particular cave and if we come in there jibber jabbering about he loses his concentration and can get aggravated.
If women understood men better and men understood women better then of course we could all get along but the problem, is we don’t seem to care. Women want in the mans nothing cave just to prove we can get in there…mistake. He will NEVER let us in his nothing cave. It may not look like he is doing nothing especially if he is holding the remote in his hand and clicking away at the T.V. not settling on anything. He isn’t settling on anything because he doesn’t really care…he is just clicking away at nothing…leave him alone.
Ever wonder how your guy feels about coming home? Fear and trepidation. This is why. Most women can’t wait for their man to come home to tell him about their entire day. This is how the conversation might go….
Woman: Hey Babe how was work today?
Man: grumble grumble
Woman: Well I blah blah blah then mom called and blah blah blah my sister blah blah blah and then the neighbor blah blah blah blah blah and to top it all off the car blah blah blah.
My women friends….your man just walked through the door of his sanctuary; his place where the outside world cannot get in uninvited. Anything beyond his front door does not matter. He just left a bunch of issues, problems and crap, the last thing he wants to do is talk about his work…and the last before the last, is hear all the problems you encountered all day long on a matter of 5 minutes.
If you need to off load your day on somebody do it with a g/f. She understands and wants to hear it. She can deal with it.
Give it a rest. Just say “Hi babe” smile, kiss him. Let him settle in. Let him go to his nothing box and just hang there until he wants to come out. It won’t be long. He wants to see you. He loves you. He doesn’t love problems, issues or your mother.
Don’t get me wrong. He can and will listen to you. But give it to him one at a time. Take a break and talk about your mom in an hour. Take a break and talk about your neighbor after you had a shower. …or…don’t talk to him about things he has no control over, can do nothing about or doesn’t concern him or you in any way.
Hey, but what do I know. I am just a woman and I am waiting for the right man so...maybe women with men know better than me. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 4:48:37 PM | ...because Capn' M
You wanting:
I would rather find a relationship that we both keep our own houses and just see each other a few time a week. Staying over at each others house maybe on the weekends and then going home.
Is not the same as a profile that states explicitly that he wants "No strings attached for a female looking to explore her wild side". The likely hood of idontcare finding that here is pretty slim (though it does only take one like-minded woman to make it happen).
I too am not looking for a marriage partner, and the type of relationship you describe is more to what I am seeking as well.
There is a Dare chocolate milk commercial on the radio here (in Australia) which is amusing, and speaks to what you addressed.
It suggests that before moving in with your girlfriend, drink their milk and dare to suggest something different--
Move into side by side apartments, keep your own space and by default the woman you are dating becomes the illusive "girl next door".
Just because someone is shy and doesn't want a "relationship" doesn't mean there is any issues with them.
No, but it is going to significantly reduce the potential dating pool...
Perhaps he should look at why he doesn't want a relationship.
Relationships come in all shapes and sizes - | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 5:20:45 PM | Is not the same as a profile that states explicitly that he wants "No strings attached for a female looking to explore her wild side". The likely hood of idontcare finding that here is pretty slim (though it does only take one like-minded woman to make it happen).
While not the same it is up to him to decide what he wants. And just because he wants a "No strings attached for a female looking to explore her wild side" doesn't mean he has issues as was claimed.
No, but it is going to significantly reduce the potential dating pool...
Perhaps he should look at why he doesn't want a relationship.
Relationships come in all shapes and sizes
I agree and he is most likely aware of this fact. I know my choices make my dating pool very small. However I know this and it is not a issue with me, as I would not want to date the ones it excludes anyway as they are not wanting what I am.
Perhaps he has already looked at why he doesn't want a "relationship" and expressed it in his post.
I know I have looked at why relationships that most seem to expect everyone to conform to, doesn't interest me at all.
That doesn't mean I have issues just because I don't conform to their standards.
The reason I posted was because two posters on here claimed he was damaged because of his choice. I didn't see that at all.
Each of us has the freedom to choose any type of relationship we want.
To me it is just sad for them to denigrate others because they don't like their choices.
I'm not judging him. But if you come to a forum looking for advice then that's what you'll get. Unless you're just looking for sympathy.
He didn't come here looking for advice.
He is not the OP he came and made a statement. You did judge him without a doubt.
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Ever wonder how your guy feels about coming home? Fear and trepidation. This is why. Most women can’t wait for their man to come home to tell him about their entire day. This is how the conversation might go….
Woman: Hey Babe how was work today?
Man: grumble grumble
Woman: Well I blah blah blah then mom called and blah blah blah my sister blah blah blah and then the neighbor blah blah blah blah blah and to top it all off the car blah blah blah.
My women friends….your man just walked through the door of his sanctuary; his place where the outside world cannot get in uninvited. Anything beyond his front door does not matter. He just left a bunch of issues, problems and crap, the last thing he wants to do is talk about his work…and the last before the last, is hear all the problems you encountered all day long on a matter of 5 minutes.
If you need to off load your day on somebody do it with a g/f. She understands and wants to hear it. She can deal with it.
Give it a rest. Just say “Hi babe” smile, kiss him. Let him settle in. Let him go to his nothing box and just hang there until he wants to come out. It won’t be long. He wants to see you. He loves you. He doesn’t love problems, issues or your mother.
AND THE WHOLE CHURCH SAID AMEN!
This lady nailed it 100%. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 5:42:22 PM |
Woman: Hey Babe how was work today?
Man: grumble grumble
Woman: Well I blah blah blah then mom called and blah blah blah my sister blah blah blah and then the neighbor blah blah blah blah blah and to top it all off the car blah blah blah.
Holy Shit! A woman who actually gets it.... though I'd prefer to call it my "Quiet Place" rather than my "Nothing Place" and I don't live in caves, I live in castles....
And, then there's this bit:
...and the last before the last, is hear all the problems you encountered all day long on a matter of 5 minutes.
Five minutes? FIVE minutes? How about HOURS? And THEN, we'll hear exactly the same shit the next day...
Ever wonder how your guy feels about coming home? Fear and trepidation.
Yup. We know she has a list of things to be done, things she's volunteered you for, things she's organized that include you without talking to you about it, things she wants to change around the house, things that she's worried may happen 10 years from now, things she's pissed off about but won't tell you about.... and on, ad finitum, ad nauseum
Good post...
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 6:12:45 PM |
Men: Cave Dwellers
Women: Grassy Knolls
That was where you lost me. I didn't even read your post initially after that divisive statement.
Then I saw the quotes from it, and figured I was bored enough at the moment to read it.
I am sorry that I made that mistake.
Are you planning on writing a book for creating dysfunctional relationships Oneway?
I think the "all men are ____" and "all women are ____" principles are not exactly principles. Just utterances of individuals who have been burned and scarred by the complexities of human relationships.
This is the lady who nailed it... | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 6:17:18 PM |
.... though I'd prefer to call it my "Quiet Place" rather than my "Nothing Place" and I don't live in caves, I live in castles....
When my sweetie moved in we insisted he have the 3rd bedroom as his "Penis Palace" - I figure two people in love need to be able to get away from each other from time to time. **grins**
I like the balance of male/female. If we understand more about how the other person approaches things, especially their communication styles, we can more easily tailor communication to work with them. I think it's a matter of paying attention, applying what you notice and letting any differences be ok.
Hahaa... Just today I was prattling on about my garden, caught my sweetie's barely perceptible twitch and stopped, saying"I'm talking too much" to which he quickly replied "No, no, its ok, I was just listening too much!". We howled. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 7:12:26 PM |
Girls always seemed to win the spelling bees in school.
They played a good game of Jacks too; but never wanted to arm wrestle.
I liked to arm wrestle. I couldn't beat most guys, but I still liked to try.
Women are more difficult to understand because they don't even understand themselves.
What a load of sexist crap, but perhaps you are kidding.
Most men can say clearly what they want at any given moment and women can't even decide what they want for dinner.
Most women buy the groceries and cook the dinner.
How do you understand something that doesn't make sense?
You're right, but I understand that you are over generalizing in order to make your sex appear more logical and to boost your self-esteem by claiming to "make sense" and because you know what you want for dinner. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 8:56:04 PM | Men: Cave Dwellers
Women: Grassy Knolls That was where you lost me. I didn't even read your post initially after that divisive statement. Then I saw the quotes from it, and figured I was bored enough at the moment to read it. I am sorry that I made that mistake. Are you planning on writing a book for creating dysfunctional relationships Oneway?
It's hardly her original concept 3ffervescent.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BxckAMaTDc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fF9B0lukM4 | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/16/2012 9:02:15 PM | This is a whole lotta garbage hey.
I get along with certain men and certain women. My guy friends have similiar traits to my girlfriends. I like women and men with a sense of humour. All my friends have that. I like women and men who aren't too serious and try to read between non-existent lines when not necessary. All my friends are like that. I like women and men that take things seriously when they are required. I also like men and women who like to shop or even window shop. All my friends have these traits.
People are individuals. There are plenty of men that talk too much- and alot of garabage. Women- you can't say you haven't come across a guy that blabbers on too much. There are plenty of women that like beer and watch sport. Men, you can't say there aren't many that don't enjoy doing that. I think there's this set of rules that people have romanticised that are really a bunch of baloney when you scrape beneath the surface.
Some people are saying women "can't wait till there bf's /husbands get home from work so they can talk sh*t for ages" belive me there are equally are a bunch of women that dread when thier bf/ husband (wotever) gets home, because the men themselves can go on about alot of sh*t about work and are all grumpy themselves. Too much TV talk not enough realistic cases on here. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/17/2012 4:58:41 AM | You're right about one thing captain Morgan, he isn't the OP of this thread. He is however the OP of another thread illustrating this same situation. So while he may not be seeking advice in this thread he is absolutely seeking advice.
As for the rest, I know what my intentions are behind my words and they are not at all how you've perceived them. That's your issue, not mine. If the poster I addressed would like clarification I'd be happy to do so.
ETA--sorry for the brief thread jack. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/17/2012 5:06:55 AM | load!
its not a gender to understand, but a thought process of the individuals. on the contrary, it would make it so much easier for us to see the mind of the person we think we want in a relationship and proceed and make that decision with a leveled playing field where we can make a more informed choice. the result would be less guessing and assumptions...making many things much easier to manage emotionally. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/17/2012 5:32:17 AM | | My husband and I are opposite. I'm the one who needs my space. I'm the one who needs to have some quiet after I come home from work. He's the chatty Cathy doll, pulling his own string, and he'll admit that. He's the one who wants to tell me all about his day and his mother and who he ran into at lunch yadda yadda. | |
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| If We Understood the Opposite Sex Like We Understand Our Own Gender ..?
Posted: 6/17/2012 9:35:07 AM | It's hardly her original concept 3ffervescent.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BxckAMaTDc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fF9B0lukM4
Thank you Forums1 ...there are very few original thoughts anymore...I just educate myself as much as I can...love listening to this guy.
There are many variations of this thought process but it is basically the same. This guy is so freaking funny. But his point is valid and he says it better than anyone I have ever heard.
As a matter-of-fact, I don't think anyone should ever get married without signing off a piece of paper that says they watched this man speak!
If anyone does click on this look up his "single" people thoughts too. | |
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