| | Online dating working for you?Page 3 of 13 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13) | My joke is meeting men on dating websites is like a giant tug of war: one big JERK after another.
Often people on dating sites use pictures or descriptions that are far from realistic. They make themselves sound better in their profile, or use a picture from 20 years ago. Ultimately you can wind up wasting quite a bit of time dealing with someone who is not what they present themselves as.
One man said he was 58. I was shocked when he arrived because he looked 80. He saw my shocked face and said he was really 74. "It's marketing," he insisted. "It's LYING," I retorted. | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/20/2012 7:49:08 PM | Dunno. I've met two great loves online. The first died, and the second lasted four years before the structural thing made it impossible, but wonderful human being. Right now, just treading water. But got to say, even most of the guys I did meet and it didn't work with were/are still super. And I can't quite believe they haven't been snapped up yet -- what's wrong wit' da gurlz, lol!? And ya, a coupla duds. One outright sociopath, and another dead-on egoist/alcoholic (dry drunk). But as I see it, the odds are for the good guys.
It does help to weed out the fluff early. I start by not accepting two word emails, lol! Work from there. And have to say, even the duds actually looked like their pics. . . . may be that I'm just lucky?
Enjoy: it's just a process. | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/20/2012 8:56:10 PM | | Na not really. Starting to believe this is all about people meeting other people interested in sex.... It is much easier to hide it on here since NO ONE need know.... | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/21/2012 12:23:33 AM | I don't know... have been divorced going on seven years and been on here off and on sporadically over that time. Tried a couple other sites briefly but this is myf avorite one.
I think you have to have a good attitude; you have to know you will find a lot more friends than good fits and you have to be able to handle talking to a lot of people and get to knwo them before really investing in anyone emotionally; as it is difficult to emotionally, physically AND mentally connect with people. That is what I call the big three and it is not always easy to find.
But when ou find it; you appreciate it and you then focus on that rather than always looking to make sure you're not "missing out on the next best big thing".
When you talk to a ton of people and meet a ton of people and get to know a ton of people; you absolutely cherish thos ewho are good fits and don't take them for granted; as that is a diamond in the rough. And when one clicks? You appreciate it for its own sake, focus on it and look away from the cue of people you are trying to get to know; and focus on the one tha you truly are clicking with.
Butuntil you find that good "click", you also need to appreciate tose who are awesome people who enrich your life even though you maybe won't end up dating them romantically. If you only focus on what you don't get or who you don't click with in more than just chemistry or more than just intellectually; you'll drive yourslef crazy. If you focus on how amazing people are, who they are and how your life gets just a little bit broader because of getting someone else's perspective added to yours; then you are not wasting your time. You are building your world piece by piece.
And the second you feel like oyu're wasting your own or other people's time? You hide your profile and get off the site and get your attidue back in place; until you're back to positive. Because when you're negative you will feel like you're wasting time and you will have a ton of one and dones. And when your attitude is better? You will have nothing but repeat dates, really getting to know people and feeling GOOD about time spent getting to know people. Till you find one that you really hit it off with emotionally, mentally and physically, and you spend time truly connecting; to see how you fit.
it's all good | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/21/2012 5:15:45 AM | | this is mostly a free site..u get what u pay for..for dating purposes..i would suggest match or eharmony..when people gotta pay every month..they get serious. Here its just fun & games.Although if u ever plan a trip to florida..i'd love to be your tour guide.. :-) | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/21/2012 5:58:41 AM |
I won't give up....I know there are some nice guys out there, just very hard to find :-(
Apparently nice guys doesn't have a thing to do with it, speaking from experience. There's tons of threads with nice guys... whining. There must be more to it than that. | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/21/2012 6:52:51 AM | I have mixed feelings about it....but again, it's pretty much the same in "real life". There are the first impressions (pictures and profiles vs. meeting someone for the first time in a social situation) that can be deceiving or genuine. The only difference is that you can sort of feel out/weed out a person you met on-line (messaging/talking on the phone) before meeting them. The in-person dating, you might not find some of the stuff out until after a few dates.
Has it worked for me? Well, I did meet my 2nd husband on a dating site, we met and were together for almost 10 years. Even though the marriage wasn't a long-term success, I did find someone through on-line dating. I guess it just takes patience and endurance. But this time around for me, it does feel a little different. Maybe it's because I'm older, maybe because the "pool" of choices aren't the same. I don't know. I, too, take a break every once in awhile, otherwise it does get frustrating and disappointing. I personally make sure I have up-to-date photos posted. And I have always been a genuine person, so what you see is what you get, but I know not everyone is like that, unfortunately.
Someone mentioned about getting contacted by younger men thinking they might get laid. Personally, I think they are the scammer/fake profiles. I've gotten like 4 different contacts in the last few weeks from guys anywhere from 21 to 30 asking me if I like younger guys. I highly doubt there are that many guys on here wanting to do someone their mother's age....LOL. | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/21/2012 7:13:59 AM |
Someone mentioned about getting contacted by younger men thinking they might get laid. Personally, I think they are the scammer/fake profiles. I've gotten like 4 different contacts in the last few weeks from guys anywhere from 21 to 30 asking me if I like younger guys. I highly doubt there are that many guys on here wanting to do someone their mother's age....LOL.
yes... there are.
Before I made mine over 30 I would get 20-25 a day just from people under 25. There actually ARE that many people into that kind of stuff... it's not scams; it's a current fantasy that younger guys have that they think I guess they are suppoed to be into.
It's amazing how many variations of the same line "Hi, you're kinda hot and I dig older women, you want to get to know me?" that there are.
Guess they think if we're over 40 we don't hear from anyone or we would be really into the whole being apprecitive for some tired line from the 100th under 25 guy. But have no doubt, there ARE that many guys wanting to do people their mother's age. The disturbing ones? Are the ones I know in real life who are actual freinds of my daughter who I have known since they were 12. Hearing THEY have those kinds of thoughts... that just feels incestuous. (the scammers are usually the not speaking English very well with the model pics and the immediate first email saying they are about to leave the site and want your offline info so they can stay in touch with you because you totally caught their eye and they HAVE to get to know you better... :) | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/21/2012 7:52:29 AM | | Wow...guess I had my head in the sand....LOL. I guess I just don't get it because when I was under 25, there would be no way in he** that I would have done a man my dad's age. | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/21/2012 7:58:27 AM | ^^
LOL I hear you. Don't feel bad... worst was when I got propositioned by the 23 year old sister of my daughter's boyfriend.
THAT one was especially awkward...
We are definitely not in Kansas anymore... | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/21/2012 11:36:47 AM | Yes and no.
Yes, I have had dates from online and n0, they are not very hard to get.
or
No. I haven't found the woman that I'm looking for online. Or anywhere else for that matter.
I'm not keeping score or anything, but in casual conversation it seems that online dating has as much promise of resulting in a LTR as any other venue.
I met my last wife at work. I certainly would not recommend that to anyone else. (Meeting someone at their place of employment or meeting my ex) I met my last LTR at a bar. Not a highly recommended place either. I heard the grocery store was a good place, but I've been banned from 2 of the local stores already for loitering. Someone mentioned hiking was a good way to meet, but can you visualize me sitting on a log while women walked by say "How you doin?"
Any place is a good place if it happens to work. I've heard some stories about people meeting at places you'd never imagine in a thousand years.
It almost makes you want to believe in fate and destiny. | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/24/2012 9:05:58 AM | I think it actually got worse. lol
I had one pretty good relationship, was a off and on for 1 1/2 yrs. Ended up going back and lost an opportunity with someone else. Was my loss and mistake.
I am pretty upfront and honest and open and find alot of the men, don't want to talk on the phone, or thier pictures are old and not current and look nothing like the pictures. I feel I get judged by looks, and used to belive in giving an honest try, but now getting a bit hesitant and leary. The ones that I really feel would click are too far away.
Had dated someone in Allentown and was a waste, we never did anything and I always drove the 52 miles up there.
Lived and learned on that one.
I don't want to be smothered or have someone who wants me at thier beck and call. Do not need someone with excess baggage or on parole or bitter custody battles. I share equal custody with my son and sometimes you need your downtown time for yourself. The last one, felt like I gave all of myself, lost a big part of myself. Stopped working out as never had the time. Been working on my self esteem and trying to start working out again, trying to keep an open mind, but then you get burned.
I don't claim by any means to be perfect or do I want someone who thinks they are. We all have unique qualtities about ourselves. Who knew dating at 46 would be difficult. lol I have heard the guys side too that women lie and post pictures not of themselves. Why bother? It's going to bite you in the A**. :) | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/24/2012 9:51:27 AM | | Been here about 18 months...met over 40 (yes, I started counting)..one second date. All but one had lied... | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 6/24/2012 7:44:33 PM | I've had almost the exact same experience as bedazeled65 and since we are the same age, it's nice to know I'm not alone.
I've tried several sites, some paid, some free. I started out with POF. Its much better now than over two years ago when I first started the online dating thing. Really, it all just depends on the people who sign up and the honesty within their profiles. I personally haven't had issues with false impressions (lying about their lives, or posting old or wrong photos) on POF as much as the other sites. You definitely can't correlate honesty within profiles with the amount paid for membership because I've found the highest fees seem to make for the most elaborate lies. My biggest issues lie with men who either want to propose the first date or who say they want a relationship on their profile, you go out, have a great time, then find they really don't want (or arent ready for) a relationship of any kind.
My biggest frustration is the meanness that some people tend to inflict when they are rejected. I have tried to be as nice as possible, but then the knives are sharpened and embedded without even a thought.
I also think many people post attributes about themselves they WISH they had, versus the attributes they really possess. We all want to paint a portrait of ourselves in a way that will attract a mate (or whatever we are wanting to attract), but we need to make sure we are accentuating the positive, not fabricating a completely new person. | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 7/8/2012 5:43:10 PM | | If I could pick the biggest problem for me and online dating it would be that the ladies look completely different in person. New haircut, a few extra pounds, 5 to 20 yr old pics. | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 7/8/2012 7:07:13 PM | The biggest problem as I see it is " Me " . I spent 23 years in a relationship and I knew what I had from one day to the next.
Not always a great time but no fear of the unknown for the most part.
Now today, my mood changes from day to day , one day I want a blond the next a redhead , I prefer thinner to not too big average girls . Am I wrong to prefer that ? Yes apparently I am because the ladies that are interested in me are not what I am looking for , would prefer not to offend anyone but each day is a new day ..
Still better to die alone happy .... | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 7/8/2012 11:54:35 PM |
so I was hoping now that its been around a while guys would know that posting pictures from years ago
Have you tried requesting that they send photographs of themselves holding today's newspaper, hostage-style? | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 7/9/2012 12:36:50 AM | you can do that? ROTFLMHO!!
I post new non-photoshopped HTC cameraphone photos frequently and label them with the date they were taken but a still 2D photograph is not an animated 3D person, so no one is going to look exactly like their photo.
Also, I hear a lot about this magic "click" or "spark", but expecting long-term compatibility after a quick 30 minute coffee shop meet is ridiculous. Too many people treat online dating like a Sears Roebuck catalog...pick what looks good and expect a lifetime guarantee...but it is just a place to make an initial contact. Getting to know someone for who they really are IRL takes time and effort.
And those who exclude a person based on their outside might be missing a person who is wonderful on the inside...the trick with relationships isn't finding the perfect person to love; it is finding the imperfect person who will love you perfectly. | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 7/9/2012 5:35:17 PM | | I have been on POF for a couple years. Have met a lot of different people. My biggest complaint is they are nothing like their picture. I get so discouraged. Then the ones I think are absolutely adorable will not message me back. I am not good with rejection. I have never had a problem with rejection when I was young in my 20's and could date almost anyone I wanted. I am older now but I keep up with the styles and fashion. I like nice quality and have such a difficult time finding that. So am about ready to just bag it and leave this site. | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 7/9/2012 8:01:37 PM | | Not really !!! It seams theres so many deadbeats on here and the women keep choosing them and now when a good guy comes along thier to apprehensive to accept a compliment or even simply write back a thankyou!1 Computers = anonomous + no manors for some I guess??? | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 7/10/2012 6:25:14 AM | | Yes, it is. Online dating gives me the tools I need to avoid feeling overwhelmed by the process. For example, if my life takes a hectic turn as it did recently, I'll simply hide my profile for a few weeks. Also, I used to be quite shy but my confidence has grown since I joined POF. I actually enjoy meeting people now. I think I still do slightly better IRL, comfort-wise, though I've met a couple of great guys right here on POF whom I call "friends". I'm in no particular hurry to settle down or find The One. I still want to believe he's out there somewhere, but I don't expect him to ride up to me on a white horse (at least, not anymore...). | |
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| Online dating working for you?
Posted: 7/10/2012 11:23:41 PM | sohotxchick
It is not a first date but a first meet, remember that. GO dutch and for half an hour only for a drink. If you hit it off you can make further arrangements. Make sure he contacts you just before the meeting and get ready to expect anything. Good luck. | |
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