| | Viewed Me - How to decidePage 2 of 2 (1, 2) | Well, the viewed me feature for the most part is pretty pointless.
I think a lot of women look but don't email. But just because they look doesn't mean they'd be interested.
Myself on the other hand, I *will* email a guy I view and am attracted to. But, guys don't know that about me. I get a lot of emails from guys saying, "I saw you viewed me...blah blah blah" well yes, I view almost EVERYONE! I enjoy looking at profiles - but just because I look doesn't mean I want you!!!
The downside for me is when I see someone who viewed me who I might be interested in - but they didn't email me. I figure they're not interested. I guess it's different for men and women since the guys are 'supposed' to make the first move... | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 6/23/2012 3:21:25 PM | It's not too hard. Message them if you would like to date them.
Let THEM decide if they'd like to date you or reject you.... don't make that decision FOR them! :) | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 6/23/2012 5:35:37 PM |
You're right. I guess it's matter of effort. Do you often message people or do you wait for men to message you?
I believe in equality. If I see someone I feel is interesting and attractive then I will message him. If he chooses not to respond..that is OK. Being ignored is certainly not rejection, it may be that he is just not into me. I actually have better results by emailing those I am interested in FIRST.
I do get emails from men I am not interested in at all. I tend to ignore, instead of answering no thanks or whatever. We are all adults and I would hope adults can take a hint and not be let down by this. However, I have had to block a man who actually would email me every time I was on. It just became annoying.
I have found that the internet affords that anonymity that some men use to their advantage. For example, they would not go up to me or another woman in public because of rejection. But online, they feel what the heck...even though I am not that great...I might get lucky. lol | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 6/23/2012 6:24:59 PM | funny, i have never initiated messaging either. not because i feel "entitled" in any way. quite the opposite. it's just the way i was raised. women didn't "chase" men. it was considered tacky.
plus i want to know if he is interested.
i have many who viewed me (i think - because i'm not a paying member, it's difficult to tell) but very few messages.
i figured i just don't capture their interest.
i'm here to learn though. | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 6/23/2012 6:56:58 PM | keyaa1
if a man is interested in a woman, he'll be calling her, messaging her, trying to IM her, etc.. | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 6/23/2012 8:27:08 PM | | I get messaged, especially because I don't have a pic. I don't respond to those messages because I got on the site for the forums, LOL! But I do try to respond to all the messages with a simple "lame" Hi.If I am not interested I respond with a simply statment of why I am not interested. And all the men have been gentlemen about it. The women not responding back are not "ladies," or may have burned with outrages comments from rude men. I hope everyone here can be nice and respectful. | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 6/24/2012 4:25:21 PM | What I don't understand, MetalVixxn, is why people who get annoyed that they get email from everyone they view don't just select POF's "stealth mode." I mean, you've been here for 5 years like me so I'm pretty sure you're aware that option exists. I don't use "stealth mode" and my personal philosophy on that feature is I want women to know that I viewed them as another "interest" tool since I obviously can't email every single one of the many tens of thousands of profiles I've looked at. Which is more often than not the reason *I* view a profile and don't email it: there's only so much time in the day (plus you can only first contact 40 people a day anyway). It's a rare case of me not emailing a woman whose thumbnail seemed attractive because I had no interest after actually looking at the profile (with the exception of those who directly disqualified me in their profiles). So it's always my hope that a woman will pay attention to her "viewed me" list, see that I viewed her, check out my profile and maybe email me even though I didn't email her first. And that has indeed happened a handful of times.
So what I'm kind of saying here is most guys you are viewing probably think you have a similar philosophy going on, because unless you say that's not the case in your profile, they have no reason to believe otherwise -- most of them probably think, "Hey, why else would she allow me to know that she viewed my profile? What other point would there be in checking out profiles in non-stealth mode unless she wanted guys to know she was looking at their profiles?"
I mean, really, the entire solution to your problem is just turning on "stealth mode." And you'll never have a guy make that leap again. (Although I'm sure some will make a few other, truly absurd leaps.)
Curiously, I've never had a non-forum woman email me that didn't eventually show up on my viewed me page. A couple times I thought the woman had been operating in stealth mode, but it actually turns out they were just hidden at the time they emailed me and after un-hiding their profiles they did show up on the list. Not sure what that says about me, other than the kind of woman that prefers to navigate POF in stealth mode apparently has no interest in me. I mean, I suppose most people are here to find dates by whatever means necessary. | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 6/24/2012 4:41:27 PM | Back in the days when I was single, if I was interested in a woman I would message them. I also didn't require photo's when searching. If their profile was good enough, that was enough for me to ask more.
I got my share of dates, but my success was probably limited to some degree in that I didn't send out mass mails. I would read their profiles carefully (I tended to avoid e-mailing profiles that said very little), and then formulate a complete message introducing myself and asking about the things which I found interesting about her.
I also was never intimidated by the eloquence of a woman's profile or how attractive her photo's were.
I wouldn't doubt that I sometimes got lost in the avalanche of e-mails that I know the most intriguing and attractive women get on POF. I also wouldn't be surprised if some of my messages were too long or not sufficiently eye popping to get some women's attention.
In the end, you have to take the approach that works for you.
Write a ton of messages to women that you have some limited interest in for the shotgun approach, or a handful of messages where you are more invested at the risk of far fewer replies.
Ultimately I went with the way that was truest to who I am. It may have hurt my percentages, but I could live with that... after all, I only needed to find One. | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 6/24/2012 5:40:28 PM |
(Boaterfloater)
Suppose you have some ladies that have viewed your profile and you would like to message them but feel as if you get the ol' non response. I always check out their profile and think "She is probably getting hundreds of messages from dudes"
What is the deciding factor for you to message someone? I'm looking for a few key success stories from using these tactics.
If interested I usually reply with something like, "I noticed you viewed my profile but never contacted me. (Or messaged me. Or left a note. Etc) Was there something in my profile you found objectionable? (Or uncertain about? Or would like further details about?)"
If the gal is interested she will reply as it gives her a chance to clarify whatever it may have been assuming there was something. If she's not the type to make the initial contact that has been settled, as well. Also, it starts the conversation on a very casual level and there's always the possibility there might be something that should be worded differently on your profile.
While no long term relationship has developed it has resulted in enjoyable conversations and a few pleasant meetings. | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 6/27/2012 4:50:05 PM | larissan04:
i do not message men. ever. if a man is interested, i figure he'll message me. also, it's a major turn off when a guy sends me a message and gives me the 'ol, "...well, here is my number/email if you ever feel like calling/emailing me...." the thing is, I am not going to. why? because the guy isn't really that interested. if he was he'd be asking for MY number.
What if you're interested? | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 6/27/2012 6:04:45 PM | My deciding factor?? I read their profile and if I find myself really captivated, I message them.
Before they 'reset' the "Viewed Me" page, I had several pages of views and never messaged any of them, save for those I messaged before they viewed me as a result of said message.
Key success stories?
Well, I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for but I'll share this;
A few weeks ago, a woman viewed my profile whom I found attractive. Since I read very few profiles that contain any substance at all save for a few sentences that reveal nothing, I was caught a little off guard by the extensive contents of hers. I read the whole thing and was just plain captivated and we had a great deal of common interests. The 'downside' was her age was incompatible with some of my needs and wants. Otherwise, I would have considered her as a potential. I messaged her purely to tell her how much I enjoyed her profile and that I found it refreshing to find a woman of substance who knows what she wants. We actually carried on a short exchange for a day, I chatted with her briefly and offered the suggestion of her and I making a new friend. We met for coffee the day after I messaged her, had a nice conversation for about 90 minutes. Our schedules are quite hectic but we have agreed, somewhere down the road as time allows, to get together again. As friends, of course.
Ordinarily, this may not sound like a 'success' story, per se, but I happen to be a firm believer in not only meeting new people but also in 'networking.' After all, we may not necessarily be right for one person, but then again, we might know someone else who is.
Anywho, the worst that can happen is you get rejected, right? Not like a wolf jumps out of the screen and eats your children....... | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 6/29/2012 1:31:26 PM | "Two things can happen if you take a chance and message her anyway.
1. She responds.
2. She doesn't respond
What is the worst that can happen in this scenario?"
Well put!
If you send her a message and she doesn't respond, where are you? No better or worse than you are right now.
Take a chance. You will miss 100% of the shots you DO NOT take. | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 6/29/2012 7:29:35 PM | | Just message the person you think is interesting. Quit thinking so much and JUST DO IT. You either get a response or you don't. It's a simple concept. | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 6/30/2012 5:36:44 PM | | What's wrong with either gender saying hello first? Someone's has to make the first move. The worst thing that can happen is that you don't get reply. If that's the case, she/he isn't worth your time. | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 7/1/2012 8:35:37 PM | This place is so full of paradoxes it's no longer funny...
Confidence to send a MSG online? Srsly? What confidence? You're pressing buttons in a keyboard, and clicking a button... No one would ever know what you were doing unless you told them. I don't see how people get this "fear of rejection" online.... It's absurd. In real life, yes of course! Online? What, no!
And then these girls have the hide to say "oh I never send messages first, I'm a girl. That's his job."... And yet they expect gender equality? If you want to play that card, expect to be his handbag. Expect to be treated like women once were, back in the dark ages. Expect to do hus cleaning, cooking and only speak when spoken to. Old fashioned gender traditions are just as outrageous as the online rejection issue... Believe it or not, some of us blokes here are looking for an equal in the relationship, someone who is prepared to give and take as a willing participant in the relationship. | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 7/1/2012 11:33:34 PM | | As a Grumpy Old Woman...I tend to message men first. And, I get silence....A Lot. No big thing... If they can't even say Hello/no...then they aren't the kind of person I would like to chat up anyway. No cajonies, and no manners. Yuck. | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 7/2/2012 1:22:02 AM | | Viewing means nothing. It is up to you to decide to message a girl. Naturally the hot ones are popular but may not be so hot in real life. You take your chances. You do have huge competition but you decided to swim in this big ocean so it is up to you to keep swimming or not. A lot of messages from dudes are undesirables and if you are genuine you may be ahead of the game. It costs nothing, so why not go for it?. | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 7/2/2012 1:24:25 AM | | Your pic is a little over the top for sure and most guys would think you are not real I would say. Tone things down a bit and put a full length pic in as well. You didnt ask for this advice, so take it on board or ignore it. | |
|
| Viewed Me - How to decide
Posted: 7/2/2012 3:51:54 AM |
What is the deciding factor for you to message someone? I'm looking for a few key success stories from using these tactics.
I have first messaged guys who I find attractive that have common interests with me on their profile I know mine isn't as informative as some but it serves its purpose. - Basically I message guys who I could see myself meeting? yup.
I've replied to guys who've taken the time to look at my profile and used bits to ask interesting questions (and I find attractive) | |
|
Home
login 
