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| | Would U @ MiddleAge B willing 2 make a change in your appearance 2B more successful w/dates? Page 2 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | I have "A Few Extra Pounds", and it IS going change. That is something that I am determined to do. Yes, it is for my benefit, but I also know it may help in the dating arena. Hell, maybe I'll have a 6-pack instead of this keg.
I can't grow a beard or moustache, so I can only be clean shaven.
The thinner my hair got, the shorter I had it cut. I may try a super short clip, or clean shaven head someday, but I don't think vanity is worth a rug or weave.
I have almost no gray and could very well be taking after my uncle who didn't really turn gray until his mid 70's, and if that's the case with me, I won't care by then.
Good teeth are very important... no matter what.
I can't wear contacts (tried twice), and I'm too old for Lasik, so the glasses will have to stay.
I am always in need of a cothing update, and more than willing to psend the bucks. But shopping frustrates me. I need a "personal shopper". ;) | |
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| Would U @ MiddleAge B willing 2 make a change in your appearance 2B more successful w/dates?
Posted: 6/22/2012 2:28:52 PM | Honestly, some of you women are your own worst enemies, especially those of you who are alone and want to do something about it. Let me tell you gals something which you should already know whether you admit it or not. Guys like to be attracted to women. Now if you are fat and dumpy, well you have every right to remain fat and dumpy. And if you have the attitude that a guy must accept me as I am, well it is your right to feel that way. Meanwhile, the gals who are doing the best they can to make themselves as attractive as possible, whether it be by losing weight or dressing appropriately or whatever, are the women who are going to be getting the guys . . and they are going to be happier for it. For the women who refuse however to put their best face forward because a guy should accept them as they are, . . . well good luck to you. If this thread is to be believed, misery loves company and you all can commiserate together about how there are no decent guys out there. But in the end, if you are honest with yourselves, you will put the blame where it belongs . . . on yourselves. And for those who say they don't need a guy. . well there is nothing wrong with being a loner or asexual. I'm sure there are plenty of people like that. But normal, healthy people are sexual beings. I don't think there is much dispute about that.
And although I have not commented on any profiles or photos up to this point, I am amazed at some of the photos women use to attract guys. . . they are almost crying out to the guy that they should take them as they are. Women wearing t-shirts, women not smiling . . . simple and attractive is best. A nice smile, presentable clothes . . could make all the difference in the world about any interest guys are showing in you.
I'm sure some of you will take offense to this, but I think it is the truth. If you want to meet guys, you have to make some effort at being presentable and attractive. If you are not presentable, you are not going to be meeting guys, not the guys you want to meet anyway. | |
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| Would U @ MiddleAge B willing 2 make a change in your appearance 2B more successful w/dates?
Posted: 6/22/2012 2:47:15 PM |
And although I have not commented on any profiles or photos up to this point, I am amazed at some of the photos women use to attract guys. . . they are almost crying out to the guy that they should take them as they are. Women wearing t-shirts, women not smiling . . . simple and attractive is best. A nice smile, presentable clothes . . could make all the difference in the world about any interest guys are showing in you.
I'm sure some of you will take offense to this, but I think it is the truth. If you want to meet guys, you have to make some effort at being presentable and attractive. If you are not presentable, you are not going to be meeting guys, not the guys you want to meet anyway.
I'm not sure why some people assume that everyone that posts to these forums is actually looking for
someone. You might be interested to know that while profiles are accessible to forumites from the forums,
many are blocked on the site and not visible through user name or any other searches.
Don't worry about what others are using for pictures to attract men.
Sometimes when people say they're not looking...they mean it.
Honestly, there is no need to worry about us fat and dumpy wimmins. | |
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| Would U @ MiddleAge B willing 2 make a change in your appearance 2B more successful w/dates?
Posted: 6/22/2012 2:49:41 PM | | You know tbicon, the same could be said for me. I don't know if you've looked through the profiles of men your age, there are many that could use some updating, a diet, a haircut and more. We ALL seem to get into our own little comfort zone. And women are just as sexual and visual as men. And when it comes right down to it - those that don't post pictures should be careful when they throw stones...just sayin. And you say it doesn't matter how much a women earns regarding dating but you want her to be hot - kinda shallow. | |
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| Would U @ MiddleAge B willing 2 make a change in your appearance 2B more successful w/dates?
Posted: 6/22/2012 3:09:38 PM | Welsh, almost all guys are looking for women they find "hot", shallow or not, and by that I mean women who guys find physically attractive. (Not disputing women are looking for the same thing). It is not shallow to want to be with women who are attractive because, in the end, without attraction, there is no relationship possible. What makes up attraction is partly the physical, for better or for worse. It cannot be shallow to follow our biological instincts. And no, I think any person who would reject an otherwise suitable person simply because of finances is NUTS. I say this because it is really, really hard to find people to connect with, and it is far harder, I am sure, in middle age as opposed to younger ages. Money should never be an issue to come between true love imho. That's the way I see it, and if there are those who demand financial equality, they are simply looking for a partner, not true love.
Alfred, I don't care what women accept or don't accept about my opinions. Why should it matter to me. . . especially because I am not fishing in the pond? I like to express my opinions and people are free to agree or disagree. I like to think that my viewpoints are more realistic than many, but I guess everybody would think that about their own opinions. | |
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| Would U @ MiddleAge B willing 2 make a change in your appearance 2B more successful w/dates?
Posted: 6/22/2012 3:20:35 PM | tbicon,
I am not alone, and personally don't think I scare folks off with my plain face lol People seem to like me anyway. Your judgement is harsh most times.. not sure why. You seem kind of angry a lot. If you are of the Christian faith you might want to lighten up a little. As you judge people here on earth you will be judged the same in Heaven. If you aren't of that faith.. please disregard.
Be well | |
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| Would U @ MiddleAge B willing 2 make a change in your appearance 2B more successful w/dates?
Posted: 6/22/2012 4:31:19 PM | Welsh! Bless you! I couldn't remember the name!
edited to add:
Oh yeah, the topic. Sure I would and am. Hair growing out, running every day, wearing the Seven jeans instead of the Levi’s, nails getting more attention. I’m not sure it is the flirting or the feeling good that comes first. They seem to be in sync.
But dang, don’t tell the bald guys to unbald themselves! I love bald. It’s the best.
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| Would U @ MiddleAge B willing 2 make a change in your appearance 2B more successful w/dates?
Posted: 6/22/2012 5:34:03 PM | To get a date or would I do it for someone I cared about?
It would be kind of tough to do it to get a date as women have different tastes in what they find attractive in a man. Some like long hair some bald. Some like hairy chests some don't. I'd be running in circles trying to please every potential date.
If it was for a woman I was dating that would be different. Now I already have made my mind up I like her and would like to keep her around. Subtle changes wouldn't be difficult for me. I do them all of the time anyway just to shake it up. I don't like be the same old me all of the time.
When I get my haircut I always tell the stylist to do what she wants. Take a chance. I promise I won't get upset. You're the professional. You should know better than I. Besides, it'll grow back.
The cologne I wear. All gifts from women. Mothers, daughters, colleagues or friends. If they like it, than I like it too.
If I can bring a woman along clothes shopping I'll do that too. Otherwise I consult women in the store. Either sales staff or other shoppers.
Of course I hold veto power so I'm not handing over a blank check.
Otherwise I subscribe to Patti Smiths philosophy of take me now baby here as I am. | |
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| Would U @ MiddleAge B willing 2 make a change in your appearance 2B more successful w/dates?
Posted: 6/22/2012 6:04:34 PM | I do whatever I reasonably can
to be attractive to whoever I date.
Fortunately I still have a good head of hair,
so haven't had to worry about a toupee.
but if I did, I would try to get hair plugs
or something like that.
Having a good body and good teeth are signs of good health.
We should strive for both for our own good.
Enhancing our attractiveness is merely a side benefit.
If I was dating a lady who wanted me clean shaven,
I would do that.
But as my mustache presently adds a nice balance to my face,
I am keeping it till requested otherwise.
I think presenting ourselves well cannot be thought of as fake.
In my opinion.... not doing so.... is kindof lazy. | |
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| Would U @ MiddleAge B willing 2 make a change in your appearance 2B more successful w/dates?
Posted: 6/22/2012 6:28:27 PM | to please someone you care about is one thing, to present an image that feels false to you is another in my book. I am not heels and glitz, never have been. I feel foolish with makeup on. So I guess its all in perspective. I am fit, healthy and happy. It shows. I can't do better than that. If someone wanted me to cut my hair or dye it blonde I wouldn't, its just not me. But I don't think I am lazy.
By the same token, I would never tell someone to change their appearence to please me. I don't tell folks what to wear, how cut their hair, ... its just not that important to me. If asked my opinion, I would be honest, but for the most part, just you be you, and I'll be me. | |
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| Would U @ MiddleAge B willing 2 make a change in your appearance 2B more successful w/dates?
Posted: 6/22/2012 6:31:21 PM | AlfredoDP
See, I do not understand: why all this make-up, fake appearances?
What you have on your mind is more important. I have to laugh at ladies whom wear those tight garments to hide a large belly (to be kind): once you lift the skirt, or lower the pants, what do you think we are going to see?
Surprise!
No way we are going to make-out in the dark all the time.
I don't mind if a woman wears some body slimming clothing to be more appealing for me. In fact I appreciate that she is willing to put up with the discomfort to look more sexy for me. The amount of time I'm going to see her with the lights on and clothing off is miniscule compared to the time we're out on a date or doing other things. Face it, we're not going to spend most our time naked staring at each others bodies.
^^^Wonder5750, My late wife didn't wear makeup every day, but she would for special occasions. Just as she didn't dress up with glitz and heels every day, but again for special occasions.
VVV We didn't go to those fancy parties very often, but when we did, my late wife knew how to dress up for them and look dang HOT, and I loved having my Hot lady on my arm too. | |
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| Would U @ MiddleAge B willing 2 make a change in your appearance 2B more successful w/dates?
Posted: 6/22/2012 6:33:39 PM | we all have a certain flexibility when it comes to our appearance - look how many of us have uncomfortable shoes and clothes that only come out of the closet once every year or two. we wear them with a goal: to make an appropriate presentation. at a funeral, a wedding, whatever. does that mean we're selling out, by wearing clothes we'd rather not? betraying our own authenticity?
if your goal is to make an appropriate presentation for the sake of a romantic possibility, is that any different?
i like lilimarleen's take. she struck a different note of appearance, within her personal flexibility, for the sake of a goal. she achieved her goal and i'm guessing she sleeps well at night. | |
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| Would U @ MiddleAge B willing 2 make a change in your appearance 2B more successful w/dates?
Posted: 6/22/2012 6:53:19 PM | Blue eyes, if the lady wants to spruce herself up it should be for her own pleasure not yours.
I do not think you have had to wait for a woman to dress, put make up on, do the toenails; it takes hours, and a lot of patience on my side; I tell you, few times I did loose that patience.
Also, forgive me ladies, the women who spend so much time on improving their looks, from my experience, are insecure. | |
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pfif
| | Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 43 | |
| Would U @ MiddleAge B willing 2 make a change in your appearance 2B more successful w/dates?
Posted: 6/22/2012 7:17:53 PM | As I came to POF just to look and to reciprocate noncommittally, it would be specious to answer a question that asks if I'd be willing to make a change to be more successful with dates. I'm not there; I have yet to date in more than a decade.
The changes I feel strongest about are wrt health, and socialization issues that I think do point to updating my appearance, slightly.
So if I got on that bus the town chartered, to go on some exciting destination group tour .. or just a bus to Great Barrington, to see the place .. with an eye towards maybe having a nice flirtatious (or just lively) conversation with a stranger en route, if fortune favors that -- if that takes place, I'm below my usual self-esteem level of appearance, to do so.
I'd do it anyway -- I'd just bathe properly, shave neatly; wear my best cleanest comfortable clothes. Just like I always do when I visit people socially. I forget really quickly when I'm not at my best; the people I visit seem well-pleased just to see me. One does comment positively, whenever I'm especially proper; she's of scandanavian descent, which seems to make a cultural difference.
Appearance, grooming issues just kind of crept up on me, over time, and I kept putting off doing a thing about it, so on that level, I take the inquiry as valid and useful.
This is my summer to get straight financially, though, so self-improvement agendae are limited to depression-era constraints, as expressed by my parents' espoused value system. | |
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| Would U @ MiddleAge B willing 2 make a change in your appearance 2B more successful w/dates?
Posted: 6/22/2012 7:32:32 PM |
AlfredoDP
Blue eyes, if the lady wants to spruce herself up it should be for her own pleasure not yours.
I do not think you have had to wait for a woman to dress, put make up on, do the toenails; it takes hours, and a lot of patience on my side; I tell you, few times I did loose that patience.
Also, forgive me ladies, the women who spend so much time on improving their looks, from my experience, are insecure.
You have no idea how long I have or haven't waited for a Lady to get ready. So get over 'your bad' self,
I would tell my wife what time we had to leave, it was up to her when she started getting ready, just as it was up to me when I started too. I didn't need patience as I found something to occupy my time up to the point I had to get ready. I was with a wonderful Lady who knew when to dress up or down as needed for over 28 years and I'd have to say it was about equal the number of times one of us wasn't ready on time.
If a Lady wants to look good for me, she is doing it for her pleasure too, as she enjoys looking good for her SO. If you don't like dating women who enjoy dressing up some times then don't date them, but don't talk down to those who enjoy it. I could say what it makes you look like, but that would be against the rules here. | |
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| Would U @ MiddleAge B willing 2 make a change in your appearance 2B more successful w/dates?
Posted: 6/23/2012 12:07:08 AM | At the end of the day we all like different things in people. I had a LTR with a tall slim man who loved that I was curvy - the distance slowly killed it off (3 hour drive each way) but we still keep in contact.
In the 80's I was considerably slimmer and was married. My then husband liked curly hair - I had mine permed. He liked make up - I wore make up to please him. He liked women in a certain type of clothing - I dressed to please him. He didn't like glasses - I wore contact lenses. Ultimately he still wasn't happy with me and we got divorced. What he 'really' wanted was Susannah Hoffs from the Bangles, but ended up with me - poor thing (said tongue in cheek).
I'm happy, have no health issues, can run up a whole flight of stairs, and can still touch my toes. Though as I've previously said, I'm working on my weight for 'my' benefit.
The profiles that make me laugh are the men who want a slim, fit woman who takes care of herself whilst their pic shows them sporting an enormous beer gut. Well I wish them good luck :) No, not bitter, they just make me laugh. | |
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