| | Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?Page 2 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | I dont agree with posting pics of children, but Im not gonna bash someone who does. Posting a pic with the parent and child on here is better than allowing the child to have their own facebook and twitter accounts...the situation on here is a little different and less threatening. | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 6/26/2012 5:14:54 AM | I've met about 6 girls last year and 3 this year(I also have an OKC profile). I've been contacting people a lot less honestly. I keep my radius short so the same few people come up and if they disappear, they come back later on.
The main thing I notice is that people don't take the online seriously. Proof of it is in my "meet me" folder. It's got like 69 meet me requests(I had a premium profile at the time so please don't take that as bragging) yet the ones that seemed ok when I would contact them would either not respond or get all "embarrassed"(over the internet how ironic) because they didn't realize it would alert me when they clicked.
The ones who do want to talk, don't want to take things offline, they typically say "I want to get to know you better" which is when I cut them off. I've stopped writing back and forth to flakes a long time ago and I'm also one who has had unfortunate instance of meeting a person who looked nothing like her photo. So I realize how easy it is for people to lie in profiles and messaging so if I write back, I see if they want to exchange numbers fairly quickly or don't bother.
I have wondered if areas had much of an impact sometimes. I was in CT and I was able to get numbers a lot easier than in NY. I don't know if my headline saying I was new to the area got girls curious or if I was just in a nice neighborhood.
Right, I'm seeing the same faces across other dating sites as well. Of course, I had emailed these people in the past, of course no response, but they'd either leave and come back, some complaining how they couldn't find a decent guy. If they'd given me an opportunity for a lunch date or something, they might not be complaining (don't mean to toot my own horn or anything.)
The ones who do want to talk, don't want to take things offline, they typically say "I want to get to know you better" which is when I cut them off.
Right, or if you get them to respond, when it comes to the face-to-face moment, they come up with excuses not to meet or become unresponsive.
And what's with the whole "getting to know you, before getting to know you"? situation? lol
My response would be, "exactly, now where and when do you want to meet?"
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 6/26/2012 6:01:12 AM |
I dont agree with posting pics of children, but Im not gonna bash someone who does. Posting a pic with the parent and child on here is better than allowing the child to have their own facebook and twitter accounts...the situation on here is a little different and less threatening.
I think internet predators are more likely to target children on facebook, myspace, internet chat groups etc. Since they have direct access to the children. Also sometimes newspapers ( both print and online versions ) will have a picture of a child with their full name, where they live or go to school etc. That would also be more harmful than an adult having a photo of their child on a dating site. | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 6/26/2012 6:08:02 AM | People are deluded by the promise of immediacy and magic that the internet promises, so they feel they have more options, when it is that they really don't. What they would have had in real life is now being divided among the attention of unknowns behind their iPads, phones, or laptops screens, because people have cheapened themselves.
Relationships are still hard work. If one is compelled to take short cuts, the result is that they are almost always cut off from the other end. | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 6/26/2012 7:05:07 AM | | @ vestaceres I completely agree. Everyone is better online...in theory. Relationships are hard work. Especially when you blend families, then throw in work, and everything else that a person has going on. | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 6/26/2012 9:22:52 AM | | Pics of kids is fine but I'd keep them private. If you're talking with some girl about it and she wants to know then you can email her a pic of you and Jr. at the park or whatever. | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 6/26/2012 2:30:51 PM | Internet predators are going to come to POF?
Seriously?
A scumbag is going to make a fake profile, then scan the profiles for pics of kids, with their parent, fully clothed?
Then he is going to hunt them down and abduct them?
Some of you watch too much TV...
Why would they do that, when they can go to Facebook, MySpace, Toys 'R Us, the JC Penney catalogue, or about A MILLION OTHER places where it would be A LOT EASIER.
But I did decide to narrowed my profile to one pic of me and my daughter, because it's a beautiful pic.
Those of you without kids... I don't know why you would even be IN on this debate...
It's like taking advice on parenting from that friend (we all have one) who thinks his dog is a "kid"! PLEASE! Your clueless to single parenting and what we look for.
And if you don't have kids, why are you here? Get out and meet people in the real world! You have no strings!
Some of you said you wouldn't date a guy if he had a pic on his profile with his kid? Seriously? What, they don't exist? What if it's a really nice picture? That's pretty stringent, but I'm guessing with that kind of attitude, you are probably so picky that anything short of a super model will not do!
Thanks all for the opinions....
Good talk, Russ... | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 6/26/2012 2:39:01 PM | Internet predators are going to come to POF?
Seriously?
A scumbag is going to make a fake profile, then scan the profiles for pics of kids, with their parent, fully clothed?
Then he is going to hunt them down and abduct them?
Some of you watch too much TV...
Actually, predators have already infested some sites (NOT saying POF)
According to the LA Weekly, Los Angeles police and Missouri state police busted a pedophile ring (known as the "Scooby Doo" ring) whose modus operandi was targeting single mothers on Internet dating sites (the ringleader's advice regarding the mothers: "the uglier the better, because they will be more grateful for any attention they get"). The break came when one of the abused kids was brave enough to tell what was going on. | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 6/26/2012 5:43:39 PM | | I have been using the internet to meet women and go on dates since I was 18, I am 27 now so I've been doing this for a while now. I can certainly agree it has gotten much much more difficult. I now find very rarely my messages get responded too on sites like these. Back when I started using just Myspace and AIM to chat girls up and eventually meet were the days when I was meeting many many women online. I've probably met well over 100 now and have found online dating is just so popular now most women I'm interested in probably are so overwhelmed it's hard to stand out. | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 6/26/2012 6:32:24 PM | I cringe anytime I see someone posting
with kids in their main picture.
Just looks off to me.
If you insist on having pictures like that,
PLEASE don't post in the Sex and Dating threads.
I hate seeing some guy typing about how
he likes to get his freak on in weird ways
while holding his smiling daughter in his arms.
Just
....a bad
.........visual
............anytime you see it.
You don't take your kids to bars(I hope).
shouldn't be draggin em in here either. | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 6/27/2012 4:05:54 PM | Well, I don't know how a question about wheyher online dating has become more difficult turned into a discussion on perverts invading dating sites, but, oh well!
In the end the answer is: Yes. Online dating is no longer any more than a 2nd or 3rd option.
And despite many of your concerns, I will continue to post one or two pics of me and my kids.
I was considering wrapping my kids in bubble tape, and putting them in a state of suspended animation, but then realized that's impractical... And cowardly!
If the pervs are invading online dating services, we better not go to the park either by many of your reasoning.
In fact, we better not go outside at all! EVERYONE might be a sexual prowler, just waiting to snatch up your kids right?
Jerry Sandusky is everywhere!
Stray_Cat, I'm sorry, but that was a bad analogy... You don't bring your kids to a bar, don't drag them in here? Seriously?
Um, well, this isn't really a bar, they don't peruse profiles with me, there is no alcohol or smoke, and they aren't aware of the facty that a small picture of them is on daddy's profile.... I kinda see where you were trying to go...
Maybe, "this site is only for adults", but then again, they aren't really dating yet (8 and 6... Oh no! I posted their ages!)... | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 6/27/2012 4:20:53 PM | Please dont post pics of your children in cyberspace. Images can be lifted from anywhere and how hard is it to crop them out? You are the one that is dating, not the kids. It is foolish.
A full length shot of you alone and clear smiling pics as well. However I believe that online dating is more fraught with hazards, liars and so on, these days, as the membership swells. Women are wary and that is only natural. Also you guys outnumber gals by a huge amount. Having young children can be a dealbreaker for some anyway. | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 7/3/2012 6:27:16 AM | yeah it seems like it has, i think that pof should get chat rooms i mean ive gotten more dates off going to yahoo chat rooms then on here in the time ive been on here. sure theres instant messaging on here but seriously most of the guys i message almost none of them reply, it just gets ignored. and for me its tough cause im out in the country so most of the guys out near me are either taken or just not interested ; so i find more guys to talk to online although not many of those turn into dates.
ive tried match and eharmony both of those were a waste of money or else i just didn't get good results who knows. | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 7/4/2012 10:35:10 AM | | I keep seeing this topic here... so maybe it is true. But Ive been doing this for 10 years and havent seen a huge change in how people behave. For me it got a bit easier as their are more people using this medium now. | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 7/4/2012 1:39:02 PM | | I think it has gotten more difficult, but that could be directly attributable to the fact that I am older and don't look as good. It seemed to be more about content in the past though, but now it just seems to be about money and looks for women. Just an observation. I have also noticed it is harder for me in WI than it was in Cleveland. | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 7/4/2012 6:31:50 PM | OP,
I read your profile. Very witty. You seem to "get it". I don't find any problem with your pics either. There are only a few possibilities why you are not as successful as you were five years ago.
1) You are a few years older and are moving into middle age. No, this is not a "death sentence" when it comes to dating. Actually, I do a whole lot better now than when I was 24 and in my physical prime. BUT once you move into this zone the game changes a bit. Guys who had their kids young and now have more free time are at an advantage over those who are still coaching soccer and chauffering kids to and from Tae kwon do. Also, the women in our age group are now focusing on their careers and are determined to make up for the years when they were focused on young children. The good news is your kids won't stay this age forever.
2) Six years ago there were fewer people dating online and there were fewer sites. Now every single person has a profile up. Actually a profile is no longer the key factor in getting a date. It is how funny you can be in your initial message. You should be good at this. My suspicion, based on your profile and responses here, is that you had game at one time. However, you became complacent and started to rely totally on your profile.
3) Wilkes Barre, PA would never be on my short list of cities to find single women. Scranton is even worse. And don't get me started on places like Berwick or Selinsgrove. Not much you can do about this. But Wilkes Barre is not all that far from NJ, an area where you might have more luck. Bethlehem/Allentown/Easton might be a little bit better than where you are if you don't want to pay the dollar toll to get back into PA. | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 7/4/2012 6:57:18 PM | I'd try to avoid that type of mindset, it can become a self fulfilling prophecy. I remember when I was your age (well pretty much...haha) and had minor children. I looked at the dating sites as being social, along with the other things I was involved in. It was mostly for company, wasn't looking for anthing serious and any dating was fairly infrequent and rarely serious. I met my second (now late) husband at a Parents Without Partners group. If you have one in your area, it's worth at least a visit to check out. We had a younger parents sort of group that did a lot of things together so I got to know him without having to just "date".
I think social activities are a lot more relaxed and conducive environment to get to know someone, so I'd try to do as many of those as possible. Events, festivals...things like that where you can take your kids along can be good as well as just the adults only type activities.
You just don't have the resources, especially time, that someone who doesn't have children will. I'm sure you probably will feel as I do that I wouldn't have changed that for anything. Your kids will always be your kids, even after they're grown. | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 7/4/2012 9:13:15 PM | | Yes POF. I met a guy who would have rather asked my daughter for a massage then me. I got rid of him so quick, I could just tell he was a predator looking to touch her. He was charming, had all the nice things, paid for dates cuz 'he was a man' but he had a creepy aura. They are out there. And I am not ugly. | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 7/4/2012 9:43:57 PM | People have figured out that they can say whatever they want online... so they do.
Face it... if all these women were *REALLY* into 'the outdoors' and 'the gym' there wouldn't be a place to walk outside and gyms would replace bars on every corner.
I've actually had more dates from PoF than I ever did in real life (mainly because I was in long term relationships and never needed to date).
But online dating let you avoid making some pretty big mistakes like dating someone you work with or having to suffer through blind dates. | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 7/5/2012 3:15:39 AM | OP - I think it's gotten easier.
And because it's gotten easier, the ponds have grown, exponentially!
And since it's grown exponentially, many people think they see a smorgasbord of all the people they have to choose from.
This has lead to a lot of unrealistic expectations.
Not to mention those whom think they've entered into hostage negotiations....what with their list of demands and all!
I do think that the recession and the slow climb out of it is a valid point to consider.
And I suppose you could toss in there, the potential negative impacts of other women and their kids coming into and then leaving your kids' lives. But I'm out of my element on that, so I'm not gonna do more than just mention it.
And finally.....maybe all the women in your neck of the woods, that have dated you, are now comparing notes and sharing with those whom haven't dated you.
So, maybe it's easier AND harder all at once?!?!?!?! | |
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| Has Online dating become A LOT more difficult?
Posted: 7/5/2012 8:23:04 AM | I have to say the opposite. Back when I started dating online, I was sending a ton of emails. And out of 100 emails, maybe 9 would respond and out of that 9 one or two would take it to the next level and out of that one date. It was a lot of work, but in the end it paid off.
Now, I hardly send any emails. I have become so picky that if I don't see a good angle to talk to them about, I ignore them. They truly have to have something of value to me on their profile. It annoys me what some of the more attractive women do that practically say nothing on their profile because they know they will get about 300 emails a week. I went out with those before and the dates were so boring, yet she felt like she was doing me a favor because now I had eye candy to be with. Hell no. So I do more ignoring now than I did back then. I send now about one tenth of the emails I sent before and out of maybe 12 emails I get to start talking to one or two. And out of that get a date.
What happens after the first date it's not quantifiable yet because I have not hit that chemistry button yet.
So are things better now?
Absolutely. | |
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