| | What do You do on a Bad Date?Page 3 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | | Define rude: I was on a dinner date with a guy and his father at a nice water front resturant. They ordered their food and when the waitress turned to me he exclaimed in a very loud and brash voice: "Your not going to order are you?" I was so blindsided by the comment I closed my menu, set it on the table and said: "I'm not hungry, I feel like a walk." I have analyzed this statement with numerous people and can't come to a conensus as to how to interpret it." Any ideas? | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/10/2012 3:06:15 AM | | Always sit with your back to a wall where you can cover all exits and entrances, don't look anyone in the eye, wear bland clothing, large sunglasses and a hat pulled down low. You never know when you'll have to escape a rude person or might want to rob the place on your way out. | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/10/2012 5:10:25 AM | I don't have bad dates - at least not anymore. When dating I'll do meets - by the time I was on a date it was with someone I've already met and talked to and want to know more about (and it was mutual). Sure, you can be taken by surprise by someone the second or third time you get together with them, but there's a much higher probability that it'll go badly if I've never met them in person, and then proceed to set up a three hour date.
Meeting first informally for a quick coffee clears out a lot of the ones you don't want to end up on an actual date with. | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/10/2012 8:30:29 AM | i had a bad date with a woman with halitosis quite a common problem in the uk that!.
i just kept my distance didnt create any static and refilled my gas lighter,then i reported her to gas board as a health hazard | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/10/2012 6:17:14 PM | | I assume that you had met him before jordanscpa, otherwise why front up for a dinner. That he brought his father it was not a date as far as he was concerned and he was not going to pay for your meal. We dont know how long you had known him but you were not missing anything, so forget him. He was at the very least uncouth and rude. | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/10/2012 6:20:17 PM | Right on womaninprogress,
how often is it remarked that you do a dutch drink for half an hour for a first meet? Saves a lot of hassle and awkwardness. People dont seem to get that. The two hour dinner date with someone you have only texted or spoken on the phone with, is still foolish.
I agree that you are only dating when you something of them and they have invited you out and with intentions to pay. You can reciprocate later. | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/10/2012 7:10:06 PM | | Two dates with the guy before he included his father. I paid my portion prior to this meal, so cost shouldn't have been an issue. I have a friend who believes men in their 50's are looking for a "nurse and a purse". I don't want to believe it, however I began to feel I was being groomed to become the family caregiver-how sad is that! Thanks for your assessment of him being uncouth and rude. | |
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pfif
| | Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 58 | |
| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/13/2012 12:17:42 AM | I worked a lot of temporary jobs (including out of a labor pool) in
my twenties. There was this one tough old bird who ran his own
moving company. I was his help of the day -- he couldn't retain an
employee to save his life. (This story is roughly on topic).
So at some point, he um .. pees .. on the side of a building, in broad
daylight -- pretty much front entrance to the place* we were moving
stuff into .. or out of (I forget).
That was about all I needed to assess this guy -- it was so wrong. He
could have made some effort to do that someplace else.
Later, he was riding me pretty hard -- I don't remember how old I
was -- somewhere older than 19 and less than 25, is all I remember
of that time. I turned to him and said in an exasperated voice:
"Mister McCarthy, you're a rude, mean man." He STFU the whole
rest of the afternoon, wrt riding me -- and did not fire me. We got
along fine after I said that. (His name wasn't McCarthy -- took license
to make one up here).
I consider it my duty to society (we're way past duty to self, here) to
set the boundaries when someone misbehaves to that extent. I don't
carry it forward. In five minutes it's forgotten. Lots of times it goes
fine, after that. My mother called this having a thick skin and I
had always needed to grow one -- so I did.
The more they act out, the more I laugh at them. It's not meant to
be mean -- I'm laughing mostly at the failed attempt to get under
my skin. I tell them what I'm thinking, right to their face. It's
good-natured; I truly am on their side in this.
It's compassion.
I make these decisions when I sign up for a .. a date, I suppose, when
we get to that one (I haven't). I'm signing up for an adventure. I know
in advance, it can go pretty wrong.
I would just dynamically set new boundaries with them, as the problems
arose, and mentally cross them off the list of people I'll be spending
oodles of time with, three months hence. 
________
* Kind of a posh place; today it would no doubt be a decent, upscale condo. | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/13/2012 5:33:16 AM | | My bad dates occurred several years ago before I learned to adequately screen candidates up front -- such as talking to them on the phone several times, making sure there was an adequate basis for potential connection, and running their full names through the online court record system. All 3 of my uncomfortable experiences would not have occurred had I adequately screened; the dates would not have happened because each guy would not have passed. | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/13/2012 6:01:37 AM | | For me I think is where a good conversation prior to even meeting is extremely important. Getting to know the person and putting ads much information out there before you meet. (IE:height, smoker, possibly religion if you are open minded, etc) Too many jump to a first date and don't know much about each other and that's when dates go bad. I would rather invest several e-mails getting to know some one and them getting to know me before talking the date aspect. As for who pays, I'm old fashion and believe the guy should pay, but in the modern times it seems that's less applicable. I try to remain respectful even if things start to go bad, and keep my composure. Reason being is these things have reviews and what's the worse the date can say about you? Your short, too well mannered, proper, a gentleman? You retaliate and you really make others cautious or possible even pass you up regardless of if it's true or not. To me you have to be willing to invest the time if you really are looking for a relationship. If not then jumping to a first date quickly and it going bad is what you'll get more often because to me the intentions are not long term | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/13/2012 6:11:53 AM |
Right on womaninprogress,
how often is it remarked that you do a dutch drink for half an hour for a first meet? Saves a lot of hassle and awkwardness. People dont seem to get that. The two hour dinner date with someone you have only texted or spoken on the phone with, is still foolish.
I agree that you are only dating when you something of them and they have invited you out and with intentions to pay. You can reciprocate later.
Thanks for agreeing with me on this, but I have to make clear that once I do want to actually date a guy, him paying isn't something I see as a requirement. Intention to is sweet, but I won't expect it nor would I kick someone to the curb for not doing so. That said, I haven't run into too many that would be OK with me paying for half of dinner even after I've insisted a couple of times...once it gets to where it's an argument, I'll throw in the towel - on dates where I refuse to back down I just go find the waitstaff and deal with it that way.
It's more important to me that he be someone I click with. | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/13/2012 6:53:16 AM | "My question is whether I should just be rude in return or try to keep the social facade up until the dinner or date is over. I'm not a bolter. "
Don't be rude in return, but you should only take so much. Those statments are pretty sharp and I wouldn't be inclined to sit through an entire meal if that was how the conversation was going to go. I don't feel that removing yourself from a situation where someone is being rude is bolting. She wasn't showing you the same courtesy that were showing her. Thank her for her time, pay and gracefully be on your way. | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/13/2012 10:16:56 AM | Never be rude in return, not worth it. But you can call them upon it and leave.
BTW, keep first meetings brief. Be selective! A cup of coffee, a walk to see if all falls into place. If things develop nicely, you can suggest either a second date or go for a bite to eat. No pressure... if a woman insist on dinner early on then you have your answer and it's not worth pursuing. | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/13/2012 11:17:49 AM |
Two dates with the guy before he included his father. I paid my portion prior to this meal, so cost shouldn't have been an issue. I have a friend who believes men in their 50's are looking for a "nurse and a purse". I don't want to believe it, however I began to feel I was being groomed to become the family caregiver-how sad is that! Thanks for your assessment of him being uncouth and rude.
Did you pay your portion this time before the meal? Good gravy was that ever a mistake to do previously..You are saying you are not worth it to him by doing this..
Next time do not do it.. If a man invites you out expect him to pay. If you invite him you pay..
I honestly cannot fathom a man being this rude though it defies my imagination big time..
nativerock | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/13/2012 11:19:22 AM |
Define rude: I was on a dinner date with a guy and his father at a nice water front resturant. They ordered their food and when the waitress turned to me he exclaimed in a very loud and brash voice: "Your not going to order are you?" I was so blindsided by the comment I closed my menu, set it on the table and said: "I'm not hungry, I feel like a walk." I have analyzed this statement with numerous people and can't come to a conensus as to how to interpret it." Any ideas?
I hope you never returned from your walk and just kept right on walking..
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/13/2012 12:00:23 PM | | The last bad date I had...was with someone I was dating for a short time and the whole thing was going south for me before the date...we went to a concert with some of my friends...while my friends were out in the lobby getting beers my date started berating me...well, I'd had just about enough...so, without a word I got up and walked into the lobby, found my friends, and told them I was done and was leaving...they said good-bye and that was that till later on when a text came thru from my date...it said what a dramatic exit...I replied "go grind some other guy into the dirt and leave me alone"...end of conversation! | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/13/2012 1:44:28 PM | | My Composition II humor essay was entitled Men, Misery and Match.com and chronicled my bad dates at that site. Now if a person is more than 15 minutes late without calling, uses foul language, is sexually inappropriate or just plain rude, I excuse myself and leave. Life is too short to waste it on a person without manners. | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/13/2012 1:50:59 PM | | I love reading theses comments! - thank you...some are wise and some just funny ..and at times rude :) | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/13/2012 4:55:56 PM | What do I do on a bad date? Try to make the best of it! I'm trying to think if I have had any bad date.
:thinks:
Well, there was this time when a date proceeded to lay out all of his meds on the dining table in the nice restaurant. He had a line of about 10 different pills. He said in case we were out late, he didn't want to miss taking them.
Then, after rechecking the menu, he added some Lactaid , because he was lactose intolerant but wanted the Alfredo. (Or some saucy dish. All I knew is that I was worried that I'd have more than the smell of garlic to worry about later)
And this was a fairly youngish guy.
That wasn't really a bad date, just awkward. I was more embarrassed by all the meds as opposed to if he just sat there farting & fainting all night.
I've been fixed up by friends(never again) where the date was...odd..but I can always find the humor in a situation and focus on that. That's the advice I give. Unless the person is downright rude, but I've never run into that.
Yet. | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/13/2012 6:54:39 PM | | On a bad date I look at my wrist that has no watch on it and say "Wow its later then I thought. I got to preform brain surgery on a wounded alien at Area 51 in the morning." | |
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raicor
| | Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 72 | |
| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/14/2012 10:21:14 PM | in situations like this, i have simply excused myself and left. as well, if someone is half hour late without notice, they will arrive to no one. your time is a valuable as anyone elses. no?
if it walks like a duck, and sounds like a duck, and looks like a duck... | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/16/2012 2:11:19 PM | Don't step to their level and be rude back ...just end it early.
There are many great women out there and hopefully before you decide to meet
someone else you will start off with "lets meet" and see if we clique.
I have found going "dutch treat" helps for the first meeting...as it is just that. | |
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| What do You do on a Bad Date?
Posted: 7/16/2012 2:27:30 PM | ...I've had a few...it's been a learning experience for sure. When I first joined I met with a guy who seemed quite nice, I liked the way he came across in his e-mails..no real red flags. But when we met, the first thing he said was that he liked my aura. It was white so he knew right away that i was a good person. If it was dark, he would have left. Ok. I've heard of people who say they can see aura's......
We ordered coffee and he then went on to tell me about fire. How he sees things in the flames as well. He brought along pictures to prove it.....lots of them. Oh no. I kept looking at the door. Did I remember to tell my daughter we were meeting at Tim Hortons?
It was all too weird for me, I could hardly wait to make my exit.
And the other bad date was when I met someone at a local pub and he was two sheets to the wind (or is that three sheets?) when I arrived. Stayed all of five minutes.
I was a newbie, what can I say. Bad dates are very few and far between nowadays...but then so are the dates lol.
...mae | |
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