| | I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner! Page 7 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) | | The meet and greet is far easier than the dinner scene..for both . Less pressure and/or expectations combined with busy lives...'nuff said. If things go well,both will know and act accordingly.. | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/4/2012 6:28:36 PM |
I have been used in this way before. Put on display. Excuse me, but I have feelings, too.
I am not just a piece of bacon. I find this sentiment odd, since obviously it goes both ways. I mean, are you not trying to ascertain an attraction too? Isn't that the point of a date, whether it be over coffee or dinner??
I can't say as I've felt used because a man wanted to determine whether he was attracted to me. I don't think I would even if he wanted to rush out the door shortly after gulping his coffee down.. what would I have been used for?
Anyway, to each their own. The sentiment just seems odd to me. | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/5/2012 9:32:23 AM | Shakti --
I find this sentiment odd, since obviously it goes both ways. I mean, are you not trying to ascertain an attraction too? Isn't that the point of a date, whether it be over coffee or dinner??
Sorry, my entire post above was intended to be nothing but a bit of silly parody. I must remember that sarcasm is tough to sell on the computer screen, with no vocal inflection, tone of voice, etc.
I apologize if it is misconstrued, in any way... Peace. | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/9/2012 1:34:41 PM | Hi Gourmet Chef,
I did have a first meet/date last Tuesday for lunch, we went to a small restaurant for an hour and had a great time. We plan to get together again when I return from vacation.
I still prefer the shorter meet -- coffee, a drink, walk -- but for those men who prefer dinner, I am compromising and having lunch. | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/18/2012 4:27:51 AM | | I think u are going into these meetups with too low expectations or you simply dont want to be roped into a long, romantic dinner for fear he may kiss you at the end? lol...lunch is ok..but you sound very cautious..(let me just dip my toe into the lunch menu). Men can sense this trepidation and the wall you have built around your feelings. Just let it go OP and go with the flow.There is nothing to fear but fear itself. | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/18/2012 6:03:31 AM | | Sometimes I have met for coffee or drinks on a first meet, sometimes for lunch or dinner. Sometimes the dinners are awkward, sometimes they're fabulous. If they're awkward I do my best to make the other person feel comfortable, even if we don't click. And on a first meet I always offer to pay my share of dinner. However, I don't consider it a waste of time or money if we get dinner and it doesn't work out -- there's always something to learn, something to salvage from the experience that makes it valuable IMO. People are interesting; even if I'm not attracted to someone, it's still an experience that broadens my horizons. | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/18/2012 6:14:02 AM |
^^I think u are going into these meetups with too low expectations or you simply dont want to be roped into a long, romantic dinner for fear he may kiss you at the end?
Have you ever had conversation with someone who dismisses everything you say? and makes assumptions about you instead? and then proceeds to give you unsolicited advice based on those assumptions?
It’s not romantic. Just long. | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/18/2012 6:25:10 AM | | Oh, and I am shaking my head at the whole discussion/argument above over who gets to decide where to go. Makes my head hurt. Really, dating isn't and shouldn't be that difficult. But maybe I just don't have a real strong opinion as to where a first meet "should" take place. There are lots of possibilities and most are appropriate and fine with me. | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:12:47 AM | | I just don't get this sentiment that it's sooooooo horrible if you go out to dinner with someone and don't hit it off, that it wastes one's precious time and money. It seems as though some people will go to any lengths to insulate themselves from unpleasant experiences. I think the better approach is, to use the old cliche, make lemonade out of the lemons you're handed. Life isn't always going to go your way. | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/18/2012 11:13:48 AM | | the only reason . i dont consider drinks . because some guys have in mind to get the women drunk and clouds the judgement . if you can handle only two drinks great at the most . but most of the time if a guy wants sex he will offer drinks . i love the line i just want to have a drink to relax. | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/22/2012 9:02:02 AM |
because some guys have in mind to get the women drunk and clouds the judgement .
True. Some men do.
And, some men don't.
Just wondering -- aren't you ultimately in control of the number of drinks / pacing of those drinks that you choose to raise your own glass? As a responsible adult, is it not pretty easy to simply say "I think I shall switch to lemonade / a soda / water"?
-Befuddled... | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/22/2012 10:22:21 AM | On Friday night I had a first meet (with a guy from POF) that was dinner at an Indian restaurant. I drank one beer and so did he (Kingfisher, of course!). I only drank one beer because I was not thirsty for another; if I had wanted another beer, I would have had another.
It was a delightful time. We are both good at talking about many things, and at listening. I may see him again, I may not, but even if I don't it was not a waste of time. I like meeting new people.
And I willingly paid my share of the bill. | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/22/2012 10:54:22 AM | Shortest concept for a meet I saw in a guy's profile, offering to stand in front of an agreed establishment. Ladies could do a drive by, and if they didn't like what they saw, keep on driving... talk about cutting it to the bone! LOL
The ten second evaluation... at ten miles per hour... I'm not sure I could really get to know someone in that amount of time, LMAO... not enough to decide if he was okay or not. | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/22/2012 11:01:36 AM |
Shortest concept for a meet I saw in a guy's profile, offering to stand in front of an agreed establishment. Ladies could do a drive by, and if they didn't like what they saw, keep on driving... talk about cutting it to the bone! LOL
 Now that's not only funny, but a creative way to get the proverbial "physical appearance check" over with. He may be on to something there.
~OT~ I don't meet/greet. If I haven't conversed long enough with someone to like their personality well enough to make it through a real date such as lunch or dinner, I don't know them well enough to meet them in public. Everyone has their own way of doing things, if a meet/greet is all the time I'm worth to someone, he needs to move along to someone who only has that much time to offer him in return. I do mutual/interviewing for my professional clients in meet/greet fashion and I have NO interest in doing that for my personal life. JMO  | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 7/22/2012 3:42:54 PM |
Ladies could do a drive by, and if they didn't like what they saw, keep on driving... talk about cutting it to the bone! LOL
A drive-thru date!... McDate! ... 99 billion sausages served. 100% pure beef. LOL
perfect concept for our one-liner, instant coffee, fast food, 1 to 3-date sex society.
I bet someone is going to give it a try.... :-) | |
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raicor
| | Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 170 | |
| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 8/23/2012 7:44:30 PM | i am, absolutely, in alignment with your thoughts on first meeting. i would guess, however, that some of the men who insist may be interested in impressing the female by paying for everything. well, at least it could be asserted this is a part of the reasoning. not sure of anyone else, but easier to have a meeting that does not initially entail a certain period of time. and really, male of female, if the meeting seems of no relevance to further interaction then just a coffee or walk would seem more neutral,
"but, i paid for dinner. i thought you did that because you wanted to." - blech
if someone is insisting on dinner first meeting, they would appear stuck in some other era, looking for a free dinner or possibly wanting a "captive" audience. for me, if i see a females first date as "a nice meal or dinner out somewhere.", pass. :) | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 8/23/2012 9:39:53 PM | I've had a couple of first meets that were dinners. One of the meets was okay but the other was excruciating. He wanted to meet at a steak house and I finally agreed. I knew as soon as I saw him look at me, it was going to be a very long dinner. I have ALWAYS posted current photos and am very up front with my size so he knew what I looked like but apparently, it was still different than what he expected. The dinner itself was fine and the conversation flowed okay so we got through it but I felt humiliated.
From that first look, I should have just said that I can see you are not interested and left, but I didn't have the guts. Never again will I have a dinner as a first meet date. Bookstore, coffee shop, that's it! | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 8/24/2012 12:47:23 AM | I'm the same as you, OP. For me, the idea behind initially meeting up for a coffee or a drink only, is to see if, indeed, the two of us click and enjoy each other's company. There's nothing worse than having committed to meeting up with someone for a long evening meal, when in the space of the first few minutes, you realise that the two of you aren't a match like you thought you'd be and either both of you or one of you feel uncomfortable.
It's one thing getting to know a person via chatting on line, texting and even speaking on the phone but it's an entirely different experience meeting up with them in the flesh, after all, the proof of the pudding, in this case, is in the meeting. So why draw out, what can be a potentially awkward/unpleasant meeting by insisting on having a long intimate dinner at a restaurant, when you can meet for a coffee/drink and then decide from there how you both feel about either extending that coffee/drink onto a meal or arranging to meet for a proper date in the near future? I don't see how people don't see that doing it this way makes sense. | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 8/24/2012 3:42:54 AM | | I can only agree with the majority here in that a short meeting over coffee or something similar is better, that way if either party is uncomfortable or not interested, either party can end it quickly and painlessly. | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 8/24/2012 4:02:38 AM | | The problem here is..the OP is all about 'instant chemistry"..as are many others, however, why not give the dude a chance?..so what if you're not always ga-ga in the first few minutes! The dinner doesnt have to be long and drawn out and certainly not intimate!! Usually its no more than 1 hour out of your day..i really dont see the big deal. It takes me quite awhile to learn about someone, be in their company, observe their mannerisms, get to know them, etc. In reality ladies..how many of those 'instant chemistry' meet & greets have lasted months..or even years? So, maybe you have a quick fling....is that really what you want long term? Nobody is perfect..and god forbid if he doesnt look like brad pitt or george clooney! I think if you ladies were a little more realistic and gave average guys half a chance..you'd be alot more happy and prolly off POF for good!! | |
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| I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 8/24/2012 6:22:42 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^^ Omg….I think that’s the most sense I’ve ever seen you make.
From that first look, I should have just said that I can see you are not interested and left, but I didn't have the guts.
I had a sort of opposite experience…we agreed to meet in the bar of a restaurant and if we hit it off, we’d stay for dinner. So…after some chat and a crappy drink he invited me to dinner. I mean he was okay, I didn’t vomit when I saw him, but I wasn’t all fluttery over him, either. After a while I realized he was being insidiously dyckish, but I have no idea why he would bother inviting me to dinner with him just to turn around and be an azzhole to me. Oh well. He lied about his height, too. I guess he thought I wouldn’t notice when he was standing right next to me. | |
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