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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 7/4/2012 3:15:31 AM | | I think this whole league business is based on self insecurities. Perhaps here more so than face to face one gets judged on looks so much more certainly initially there is a bigger element of self blindness. What is realistic is that you find some one you like and get on with rather than have many ill conceived expectations. | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 7/4/2012 2:17:01 PM | | Errr ok so I see the most beautiful woman in the world who has less intelligence that a weasel and no education (perhaps none of it her fault). Is she still out of my league because she's so good looking ? Maybe she wouldn't look twice at me but that's ok, I wouldn't want her too. I've known some women in my life who were stunning but five minutes in their company was enough to make me lose the will to live. A moderately attractive woman with a brain is a massive turn on. A stunner without a brain is completely unattractive to me. | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 7/5/2012 1:21:29 AM | I message funny, witty things and still dont get replys lol
I would message someone if it took my fancy (regardless of whether or not they THINK they are above my league) and well i think its their loss if they cant beneath a persons body, after all beauty is only skin deep and you need a whole lot more than looks to make each other happy ;0D | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 7/5/2012 8:12:37 AM | i tell them, i say "hey i know you're like well outta my league and whatnot but i just had to tell you that.... that picture on your wall is wonky :P" (sorry ocd for tidy things)
half the time i get a reply similar to "lol nobhead :P" or something haha
thats just me though, i would rather have a rough reality check then a delusional daydream :) | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 7/5/2012 12:22:09 PM | Fascinating (to me lately) stuff about Leagues.
I've always used the common (I thought) 1-10 rating system. Generally (yeah, I know) a 9 goes with a 9 etc - but here's my thing : Before falling off my motorbike, I'd have said I was a good 8.5, and 'shopped around' for similar rated girls. Since the accident, confined as I am to a wheelchair permanently (except for in the bedroom, importantly), I reckon I've probably dropped to a 6? Maybe?
Now, the odd thing is, I've been seeing a 9 for the last couple of months, on a beneficial friend format, so it kind of throws in an anomaly - which is a key point in my unashamed bragging (sorry). A connection, the connection, that undefinable connection, is the vital part, and it bears no regard to the perceived 'League' of the involved parties. The connection will decide exactly who is compatible with who, nothing to do with their weight, their teeth, their hair etc etc.
Because of my recent success, I've got a massive confidence boost - if I can hang onto a 9, even for a while, it means I can still function as a viable partner.
My son, a violent anti-smoking lobbyist all his life - recently married a smoker. And he doesn't care, because they have the connection.
No barriers people...only in your minds. | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 7/6/2012 12:22:52 AM | There has been research that says people tend to choose/ be attracted to someone they perceive as being on the same level of attractiveness as themselves, and not generally look outside of that.
I have had the reverse happen to me, in that two very attractive looking guys messaged me, to say they liked my profile, felt we may have something in common, and wanted to know more. Though somewhat surprised, I replied to both, commenting on their profile, and our common interests, then sat back and waited. Didn't have any further correspondence from either of them, though they were online frequently after that.
Came to the conclusion that maybe they decided, in an idle moment, to venture into the uncharted realms of profiles with "average looking" people, and peer into the abyss. Alas, they actually got a reply from one of the mere mortals, and scurried back fearfully to the rarefied atmosphere of the "very attractive" zone. Phew! That was close! | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 7/7/2012 5:05:08 AM | there are people who think the sun shines out of own bottom.
do you really want to get to know them?
give me a girl next door and down to earth who can cook is worth far more than some bimbo who in 3-7 years will look old and will have the personality of a used nappy drifting in the sea on out going tide! | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 7/9/2012 10:38:47 AM | This question intrigues me a bit because for me there seems to be generally a difference in the type of men I list as favourites, and the men who write to me, who more often than not as lovely as they might be, I just dont really fancy...
Am I mega fussy, is it an out of my league thing?? I really dont know, but I just haven t figured out how to be interested in men who don t intrigue me both mentally and for me physically too, I have tried it a few times, and have always ended up just being friends with them... | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 7/9/2012 2:00:06 PM | As I'm not looking, I seldom partake in the many 'dating orientated' threads, as I really don't have the same motivation as others, who post in earnest, and it would be churlish to mock...
However, I can speak from some experience on this topic, because in my day, (a looong time ago  ) I was often the bloke being pointed at, when other blokes elbowed each other, and growled "WTF is SHE doing with that w@nker"..???!!!
I don't subscribe to the notion of "leagues", but I have managed to find myself on the arms of impossibly beautiful women, on more than several occasions.
I'm not what I would call 'good looking', in the classical Paul Newman kind of way, though I'm aware that I have an appeal to a very small proportion, I've never been able to see it myself.
The truth is, that in real life, people (particularly men) seldom approach really beautiful women, or treat them the same way that they do, everyone else.
Now it may be, that in 'real life', just having the 'nuts', or perhaps being cheeky enough, to consider yourself 'worthy', in public might, in itself, be an attractive enough 'quality' in a person, to more than compensate for any perceived 'visible imperfections in appearance'.
Confidence can often put another person 'at ease', and be an attractive quality. Or sometimes, it can generate repulsion too. It's really about that elusive 'chemistry'. That indefinable quality, which makes a person seem attractive to one, and a PIA to another.
But all of ^^^ that is in real life, face to face, and usually quite 'publicly'. There is an element of 'bravery' involved, on all sorts of social levels.
Here, any one-handed typing Troglodyte can bang out any number of 'Reader's Wives'-inspired "suggestions", to women who they would be too afraid to look directly at, in real life, even if they stood right outside their mum's cave, and they were looking at them through their fingers...
Here, they have the anonymity of the internet.
So until someone does for internet dating sites, what 1471 did, for the "heavy breather", you ladies, who are pleasantly tolerable, will have to put up with messages, not just from people "not in your league", but also the creature from 20 Thousand Leagues.....  | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 7/11/2012 4:38:23 AM | | I think some people have no idea what league they're in. They seem to have expectations way above their pay grade. Short, barely average looking women holding out for a 6ft adonis. Fat, bald men pestering beautiful head turning women......gotta love POF. | |
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_roxy_
| | Joined: 3/16/2012
Msg: 116 | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 7/11/2012 10:26:28 AM | Message 114:
'I think some people have no idea what league they're in.'
In many ways how do you judge??? If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then in theory you could be in any league... Lots of it comes down to confidence and whether you have the balls to approach someone though, and maybe reading there profile write up too, to see if you would figure that you are compatible...
I was on a date site before where people could specify their physical likes, and also the style of dress they liked, so if you were into a hippy type, surfer dude, or executive man then you could stipulate that too. For me that was quite an interesting piece of information in weighing a person up.. | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 7/11/2012 11:23:02 AM |
In many ways how do you judge??? If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then in theory you could be in any league... Lots of it comes down to confidence and whether you have the balls to approach someone though, and maybe reading there profile write up too, to see if you would figure that you are compatible...
Real world maybe....just maybe. On here? looks are everything to the majotity of people, as much as i don't agree with it, that's the plain and simple truth. Beauty in the eye of the beholder is a quaint notion but it has no place in internet dating IMO.
Judging what league you're in is fairly straightforward, if you keep getting ignored by people you think you have a chance with then you've placed yourself in the wrong league, confidence is attractive but it's not going to help you if you fell out of the ugly tree and faceplanted every branch on the way down. As i said i don't like it anymore than anyone else does, that's just the way it is. | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 7/11/2012 11:58:09 AM | The truth is, that in real life, people (particularly men) seldom approach really beautiful women, or treat them the same way that they do, everyone else.
jo, as ever you are my hero..
now i finally understand why i never get chatted up in tesco's... or anywhere else.. :-)
vvvvv
affliction....?
jo's revelation has bought me great peace of mind..
i dunno what you mean :-) | |
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| Ever think someone is out of your league and not messaged them?
Posted: 7/11/2012 12:18:25 PM |
now i finally understand why i never get chatted up in tesco's... or anywhere else.. :-)
You should try the Co-Op, Nx. 
The woman on the meats and deli' counter, doesn't stand on ceremony! (Actually, she could do with standing on something, she's about 4'10", and equally wide, and she wears one of those special "meat-handling" trilbies, in white....)
She's always letching at me, although, to be fair, she always washes her hands, before handling my salami. Which is nice. 
But the look she gives me, as she bags it, or slices it, makes me shudder, just a little bit....
I think it's completely different on here, to "real life".
An attractive woman here, will get 'carpet-bombed' with messages, every day.
IRL., there's the fear-factor. Nobody wants to look stupid, by being blown out, ignored, or worst of all, laughed at.
 <------ Seee..? It hurts, doesn't it..?
If you have no success in the Co-Op., try walking about with one breast completely exposed.
And when someone points it out, say " SH!T!! I've left the baby on the bus again!!!"
This will "break the ice". (Unless it's the freezer section, obviously  )
HTH.
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