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| | Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?Page 11 of 21 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21) | "If you don't want people bothering you, don't leave your house,"
LOL
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 8:59:58 AM |
make sure you arm yourself with good capability to make noise.. and pack a weapon.
Im a pretty social dude. Talking to women doesnt scare me as I have been rejected a million times. Doesnt bother me.
After reading this about carrying weapons, stalking, I really feel for guys who struggle talking and meeting women. You could get a weapon at you, or stalking charges.... | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:03:32 AM |
Hey sexy, you look sexy etc. You need to be sleeping with me before those comments are okay.
Are you freaking serious, that kind of comment coming from a stranger is just plain crude. I'll bet my last dollar that if a stranger said that to YOUR 18 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER in a gym.........you just might think differently about that. A father or a mother working out in a gym with their daughter might have a few very well selected words that they might want to say to that particular stranger.....and I doubt the words would be pleasant and most certainly there wouldn't be a lot of smiling going on.
Most women like attention even when they protest
How do you know that?? Have you taken a census for what most women like? If they are protesting, it's because they DON'T LIKE IT. That's like saying.........all men like to be bothered by their wives at their work and while on job, even if they protest. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:03:43 AM | The women only areas are very small, because you know, women don't want to be there and usually you only see 1-2 in there. Most women like attention even when they protest
In the gym I go to and a number of gyms I have gone to all over the province the womens only side is 1/3 to 2/3rd's the size of the co-ed side of the gym. In the gym I frequent there will be almost always be more women on the Ladies only side than there will be on the Co-ed side and sometimes there are more women on the ladies only side than there are people of both sexes on the Co-ed side. In my town Ladies only gyms' are very popular.... I would say that a significant amount of women would rather work out without males around.... they seem to be able to give each other all the atttention they need. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:14:01 AM | Are you freaking serious, that kind of comment coming from a stranger is just plain crude. I'll bet my last dollar that if a stranger said that to YOUR 18 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER in a gym.........you just might think differently about that. A father or a mother working out in a gym with their daughter might have a few very well selected words that they might want to say to that particular stranger.....and I doubt the words would be pleasant and most certainly there wouldn't be a lot of smiling going on.
Holy misunderstanding, Batman!
The person you quoted is a woman. What she said is that a comment such as, "Hey sexy," or "You look sexy," or similar would only be OK coming from a guy she was already sleeping with. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:14:09 AM | Why would Men believe that it's okay to approach Women in a gym? Um, maybe because Women GO there to meet men?
How can I say something like that with 100% certainty? Maybe because of articles like this?
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating-advice/best-places-to-meet-men
Women don't go to the gym to meet men, some woman go to the gym to meet men, the majority go to get fit. Personally I go because the physiotherapist, rehab therapist, Orthopedic Surgeon and Family Doctor say I have. Not really looking for a man there, looking to get better. Plus, how many woman do you really think follow the advice in Cosmo? It is for the most part fluff entertainment. Give us credit for a few more brains than that.
Those guys that you think are stalkers, sexual predators, oafs and idiots that you discard without a word? Guess what... those are actually the MOST likely to be the NICE guys. The guys WITHOUT game are the ones you're turning down and want arrested for harassment.
That says to me, that these "nice guys" are lacking in the social graces and maybe they should rethink their strategies. Rude and crude says rude and crude to me and nothing more. Most woman are not likely to look past that to find the "nice guy" inside.
How clueless are the Nice Guys? They're So clueless that the Player feels they have to Explain to them not to comment on a woman's body in a Gym.
Well then maybe those "nice guys" could learn something. If they were truly nice guys, they wouldn't be commenting on women's bodies. Rude and inappropriate is just that regardless of who is saying it. And yes I read all the stuff in between and guess what nice guys, take some notes and learn some tricks from the pros!
It's one of the greatest cosmic jokes of Dating, and would be truly funny if it wasn't so tragic. That it is, that some men think that women should be grateful for whatever is thrown their way and that some men and women can't tell the difference between compliment and crude comment. edit: ^^^^^^^^^^ Hey sexy, you look sexy etc. You need to be sleeping with me before those comments are okay.
Are you freaking serious, that kind of comment coming from a stranger is just plain crude. I'll bet my last dollar that if a stranger said that to YOUR 18 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER in a gym.........you just might think differently about that. A father or a mother working out in a gym with their daughter might have a few very well selected words that they might want to say to that particular stranger.....and I doubt the words would be pleasant and most certainly there wouldn't be a lot of smiling going on. Thanks Paderic - Wow not sure how you misread that Darlite, I was using that as an example of what not to say! Which the end of the comment clearly states. The man who says that to me better have already spent time in my bed or he will get an earful or an evil glare depending on my mood. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:15:55 AM | "I really feel for guys who struggle talking and meeting women. You could get a weapon at you, or stalking charges...."
I don't know about that. I do know that all the qualities women on these forums ascribe to creepy/dangerous men are anything but.
From my experience the men that are dangerous are almost always well-spoken, good looking and very bold which is why they are able to do what they do and oftentimes get away with it.
The ironic thing is that I bet a lot of these guys who inspire girls to make the posts about 'oh no a creep talked to me' are probably the same shy guys on these forums who are scared to death of talking to women.
"Rude and crude says rude and crude to me and nothing more."
Gimme a break.
I've watched guys at the gym try to pick up girls only to piss them off. They are never rude or crude. They're always polite it's just their looks and delivery are lacking not to mention they don't read body language well. Why? Lack of experience. | |
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tbicon
| | Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 259 | |
| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:18:27 AM |
I say hello and smile at people everywhere.
Brown eyes, that is because you are a healthy, mature woman. The women complaining about a guy's attention in a public arena are women who likely will never be happy, as reflected by their personalities and their whining. As for younger guys who are not sure if they should or should not approach women, its simply a question also of maturity and confidence. My advice, as an old married guy who in the past had lots of girlfriends, is to approach women you think you might want to get to know. If they roll their eyes, they are not quality women. If they are rude, they are not quality women. So no loss there. If they politely reject your advances . . well you cross it off as an attempt but a failure. No big deal. And you never know. Next time she might not reject your advances. The point is to try.
There was always an old joke about women among my guy friends . . "if women did not have ******, there would be a bounty on them". There is a reason why so many guys have such poor attitudes towards women . . the reason is reflected in a thread such as this. Women making such a big deal about nothing at all. Pathetic. The fact of the matter is that it is often easy to tell quality women from non-quality women. Its how they react to you when you try to talk with them. You can pick up real quick whether they are quality or not. And in the end, we should all want to pursue only quality women, and write off as quick as possible non-quality women. That's the way I see it.
And I need to say that some of these women whining in the gym are the same women who cause so much destruction in the workplace, the ones claiming sexual harassment and attempting to get male workers fired because they feel "uncomfortable" around them. What guys need to realize about low quality women who make so much of nothing is that many of them truly are narcissists. They think only of themselves. They don't care about you and if they can have you banned from the Gym, they will do. They have no morals, no ethics, no compassion and no understanding of males. So in the end, you also need to be careful out there and how you approach these women. And just remember, you don't want these women raising your sons and daughters. Be careful out there.
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:21:16 AM |
They're So clueless that the Player feels they have to Explain to them not to comment on a woman's body in a Gym.
Gimme a break dude. Look at it another way; does the tiger wonder what the antilope is thinking about before he prances on him?
Players PLAY. They run after women, they KNOW they're top of the food chain and can back as many chicks as their hearts desire without even trying that much. As such they REALLY don't give a crap about what any other guy does, says or thinks. It's a non equation. They know they'll be the "nice guys" to the punch because by the time the "nice guys" builds up the balls to ask the lady out for the first time, he'll have screwed her in every possible openning he can find, not excluding the nostrils LOL. THAT'S the reality of things. The reason I say it's not polite to comment on a woman's body in a gym is that in about 80% of cases where it happens the guy just offers himself as a spectacle for half the gym to witness how badly he burns down and how idiotic he looks when he gets rejected, which sends a clear message to any girls that are ACTUALLY there to hook up; "this guy is an IDIOT".
Time and place for everything. If you want to hook up, do it the old fashionned way, go get a girl drunk in a bar and tell her your actually a psychologist who will take weeeerrryyy good cawe of her toonite.... 
Cripes. I still can't believe how many people are offended people
are invading their personal space out in public with compliments.
If it bothers you so much, tell them to f off.
Which was also my point, but people like extremes here. I find it distatefull, but ladies at the gym at the same time should realise reality, and that's that there's people with no manners everywhere. As such, if you want to tell a guy to take a hike, they should feel free to tell them take a hike. To each is own. I certainly have no problem doing it.
Then again, I'm a dirty lil b**tard | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:39:34 AM | Women don't go to the gym to meet men, some woman go to the gym to meet men, the majority go to get fit. Personally I go because the physiotherapist, rehab therapist, Orthopedic Surgeon and Family Doctor say I have. Not really looking for a man there, looking to get better. Plus, how many woman do you really think follow the advice in Cosmo? It is for the most part fluff entertainment. Give us credit for a few more brains than that.
I used Women as a general. I also noted that it was SOME women 2 paragraphs down. And Cosmo is just one of the highest profile publications. IF you did a search online, you would find literally HUNDREDS of articles advising women that Gyms were a good place to meet guys.
My main point in that section was that 1) It is NOT unreasonable for a man to assume that a Woman at a gym MIGHT be looking for a guy. 2) It is reasonable to assume that Not all Men will make the distinctions correctly.
Whether you in particular follow Cosmo is irrelevant to the point I was making. The fact is this isn't some fringe blogger pointing this out, this is present in the national consciousness through the mass media. I fully respect that you don't think highly of Cosmo, but posting a declaration "give us credit!" does not take away from my point, which is SOME women go to the gym to meet Men. Just as the Cosmo demographic does not represent Every woman, neither do you.
That says to me, that these "nice guys" are lacking in the social graces and maybe they should rethink their strategies. Rude and crude says rude and crude to me and nothing more. Most woman are not likely to look past that to find the "nice guy" inside.
Well then maybe those "nice guys" could learn something. If they were truly nice guys, they wouldn't be commenting on women's bodies. Rude and inappropriate is just that regardless of who is saying it. And yes I read all the stuff in between and guess what nice guys, take some notes and learn some tricks from the pros!
This is not about "social graces". "Game", IE the ability to correctly judge how to approach and engage women is a particular skill set that takes a tremendous amount of time and effort to acquire, and can Only be effectively acquired through extensive experience with Women.
Your suggestion in fact would result in More players than Nice guys with "Game".
Consider the following scenario...
1) Man is socially inept.
2) Man approaches and engages hundreds of women.
3) Man improves his "game".
4) Man can now approach, engage and seduce a large number of women.
What percentage of those guys, given the opportunity to have a reliable stream of sexual and emotional companionship with highly attractive women would Continue to be Nice Guys?
Having "Game" is by definition having Power -- the Power to engage, entertain, and maintain relationships with Attractive women. Not every woman to be sure, but Enough women that he is never without Sex or Companionship unless he so Desires.
The following adage applies... Power Corrupts.
Just as there is temptation for a Supermodel to exploit her beauty, there is temptation for the Player to abuse his ability to enrapture Women.
How many Men could resist that temptation?
And how many Women would they need to see before they decided it was time to "settle down"?
And how many emotionally wrecked women would they leave in their Wake while they're figuring that out?
Just some stuff to think about... | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:41:29 AM |
I was using that as an example of what not to say! Which the end of the comment clearly states. The man who says that to me better have already spent time in my bed or he will get an earful or an evil glare depending on my mood.
O.K.....now I understand what you mean't and I agree, but you weren't entirely clear in your original post as to whether you were already spending time in your/his bed already. In your previous post you said, in a relationship which does not necessarily mean they were already saddled up and riding the white ligtning together in her/his bed or in the gym clubs' parking lot. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 10:05:45 AM | "My advice, as an old married guy who in the past had lots of girlfriends, is to approach women you think you might want to get to know. If they roll their eyes, they are not quality women. If they are rude, they are not quality women. So no loss there. If they politely reject your advances . . well you cross it off as an attempt but a failure. No big deal. And you never know. Next time she might not reject your advances. The point is to try."
An older guy taught me about the birds & bees when I was 19-20 and that is more or less what he said. I've tried 'game,' yeah it sometimes works on girls who would otherwise ignore you but in the end I find that what he said has always been true. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 10:14:48 AM |
An older guy taught me about the birds & bees when I was 19-20 and that is more or less what he said. I've tried 'game,' yeah it sometimes works on girls who would otherwise ignore you but in the end I find that what he said has always been true.
"Game" doesn't guarantee that you'll find the right woman, and it doesn't necessarily mean that you'll pick the right woman. If you have underlying psychological issues, "Game" won't fix those either. "Game" and the process of acquiring it can help a person understand the character of a Woman.
"Game" gives you the opportunity to "interview" more candidates, not get rejected out of hand, and can offer a helpful point of reference in terms of assessing the Quality of a Woman.
All Men have "Game" to some degree or another whether it's little league or Pro.
The Players are just the best athletes on the Field. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 10:19:18 AM | Abelian and Wanderer - The point did not go right over my head.
As you know from my previous post, I feel that most of what has being posted is women overreacting and men justifying bad behaviour. These two are equally offensive.
What I got from the above post was a generalization about women and generalizations drive me crazy. Men are not jerks, a**holes, players etc just because a few men are. (Personally I find men on the whole to be rather wonderful and have met very few that I thought were jerks) Women are not biatches, etc just becuase a few are. The minute the generalizations/stereotyping etc start it makes my blood boil. To state that women go to the gym because some magazine said it was a good place to pick up men and they should accept whatever behaviour comes their way because that is why they went there is plain ridiculous. Sure some women go to the gym to pick up men, still doesn't excuse men behaving badly.Right or wrong that is what I took from the comment.
Then to move onto only players say the right things. At least that is what I got from it. As I stated in the early post, some women need to get over themselves and get thicker skins and some men need to learn to be gentlemen. Rude is rude, doesn't matter if you are an ass or a nice guy, a crude comment is just as much of a turn off. Game or not, if a nice guy can't speak to a woman without making inappropriate comments, using lewd tone, or inappropriate gestures etc. perhaps it is time that he took some lessons on behaviour. Unless you are thrown into a situation where you have the opportunity to get to know someone, you are only going to be able to judge them on what they said to you. If some stranger walks up to me and and says you look good today, may end up in a date. If that same guy walks up to me and says you're hot! I will say goodbye.
I personally found the post annoying and a justification for bad behaviour, sorry if that was not what it was meant to be, but our experiences and personal preferences always create a bias in how we read/perceive things. That is why words must be chosen carefully. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 10:34:17 AM | | In reference to what someone said about these women who are whining about a male's attention,generalizing much, are we? Because some women don't appreciate unwanted attention from a certain male, we must automatically be the ones causing problems in the workplace. Some people actually go to the gym to work out, and not be bothered, in case that was news to some people. As far as being friendly to everyone, some people have learned that's not always the best policy. .from past experiences. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 10:39:50 AM | Then to move onto only players say the right things. At least that is what I got from it. As I stated in the early post, some women need to get over themselves and get thicker skins and some men need to learn to be gentlemen. Rude is rude, doesn't matter if you are an ass or a nice guy, a crude comment is just as much of a turn off. Game or not, if a nice guy can't speak to a woman without making inappropriate comments, using lewd tone, or inappropriate gestures etc. perhaps it is time that he took some lessons on behaviour. Unless you are thrown into a situation where you have the opportunity to get to know someone, you are only going to be able to judge them on what they said to you. If some stranger walks up to me and and says you look good today, may end up in a date. If that same guy walks up to me and says you're hot! I will say goodbye.
Actually, the reality is that charming a woman goes FAR beyond the words spoken. Saying the right words in the first 5 seconds won't get you an evil glare, but it is VERY far from making any meaningful contact.
There are a myriad of verbal, physical and behavioral clues that a Woman is sending out constantly.
Everything ranging from the words she says, to the tone of her voice, to the posture that she's sitting in, the distance she maintains physically, eye movement, blinking, fidgeting with items, etc, etc. The vast majority of human beings are completely unaware that they are sending these signals, Men and Women alike.
The process of breaking lifelong ingrained habits and then instituting new habits is something that takes hundreds of hours to become proficient.
I could easily sit down and tell a Man what to say, but the words themselves will not help them. The words themselves are merely the most superficial tool. Just as a great singer can sing the phone book, a talented Player can say "I like your Body" and not only get away with it, but they can leverage it into a date or more.
For every Woman that complains about an awful comment or line that left them disgusted, there is a Player that was able to use that comment to their advantage. It is not the words, but the dozens of other things that they are doing, processing and reacting to that will trigger whether a woman is intrigued, interested or runs away.
In some ways it is like playing Poker. Poker is as much about reading another human being as it is remembering the cards that are played. If I'm sitting at a table, I'm watching everything you do from the rate your breathing, to your involuntary eye movements, to your posture and whether you twiddle your fingers or not.
Human beings in many ways are somewhat open books, they just happen to have a very complex code to interpret.
Finally, my post was not about justifying "bad" behavior. It was about delineating between bad behavior, acceptable locale, and ignorant behavior. They are NOT all the same.
Some guys who say "Nice Body" are jerks. Some are not. And it's not much more complicated than that. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 12:21:52 PM | When I go to the gym, "I pick things up & I put them down" weights- not men, LOL!
If a man approaches a woman in a non-threatening way w/o saying stuff about her bod, I think it is OK...But if he is a Lothario looking to score - he really needs to go away.
The one time a man approached me in a gym, he was very respectful & did not comment on my appearance, just made pleasant small talk... | |
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tbicon
| | Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 270 | |
| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 1:16:07 PM | | The best way to meet women in a gym for pleasantries is to get on the elliptical right next to her. Then you have a captive audience until she completes her session. Its actually a good way to get to know them. But don't accuse her of having a nice arse. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 1:32:22 PM |
@238 It's not a battle of the sexes. I don't understand why men are getting so upset by this. The majority of the women support my claim
Of course you don’t understand. You’re not a man. It’s no easier for you to know how it feels to be a man as it would be for a man to know how it feels to be a woman. It would be like me saying I know how it feels to be black. Or telling someone that just lost a loved one that you know how they feel. How could you possibly know how someone else feels?
The closest we can come to it would be to imagine what they feel. Trade places. Imagine waking up one day and the roles were swapped.
Me personally? I usually don’t speak to anyone when I go to the gym with the exception of staff. If I needed the time of day I'd ask another guy. At least he doesn't think I'm trying to get into his pants just because I spoke to him. And when it comes to giving women compliments I usually only give them to the ones I think will appreciate it. The real attractive women? I figure they already know it and don’t need another person telling them. I also figure they would misinterpret my intentions for the compliment anyway so why even bother.
Unfortunately, it’s only the decent men that will respect your wishes and not show you any attention. You’re still going to get unwanted attention from those you don’t. | |
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tbicon
| | Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 272 | |
| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 1:36:09 PM | | You know, now that I think about it, I used to be a regular Gym goer. I used to lift weights, the whole thing. It was a smaller gym, and we all became one big family. I got to know lots of the women there. Even dated several of them. I think the gym is a wonderful place to meet women. I don't go to Gyms now. I work out in the comfort of my own home. But if I was single, I would likely be going to the gym again . . if for nothing else as a way to get out of the house and meet other people. Nothing like a hard workout, a steam shower, a shower, and then a nice drink with the other members. Of course I am normal, and the women I would speak with all those years ago were normal too. We all enjoyed each other's company. What a tragedy that a woman has her nose stuck so far up her *** that she misses out on a great opportunity to meet guys. | |
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cinsav
| | Joined: 6/23/2012
Msg: 273 | |
| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 2:52:19 PM |
Am I the only one bothered by this. I go to the gym to escape. I go alone for a reason. I run to forget my troubles, but I can't stand it when creeps stare. This man told me today "I see you come here a lot, I like the way you workout, I like the way your body looks". I smiled and walked away.
Isn't there proper gym etiquette? I hate to be bothered there, now I feel uncomfortable going.
Men can be morons. They don't get that you're not there to hook up. It's not your fault and you shouldn't have to just smile and walk away. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 3:07:48 PM | I have a couple of thoughts on this, first; had the man that approached the OP been a handsome sexy guy she was attracted to, this would be a non-issue.
Second; if anyone is attracted to someone they only see in one place, they don't have much of a choice as to where to approach them if they want to get to know them.
And lastly, I think the OP will be on here complaining how no guys approach her once her looks and figure fade as time takes it's toll on her. | |
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largo2
| | Joined: 12/13/2011
Msg: 275 | |
| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 3:22:27 PM | Just for the record, I have never had a problem with any guys at my gym- and yes, I do exchange pleasantries from time to time.
I do support the OP's complaint about what was said. I am not choosing and picking from responses, I am merely addressing ONLY that point as the rest has diverged into God knows what. She had a valid point, but as this thread seems about to take on the proportions of the who buys coffee thread, I'm out for now.
feel free to send your comments privately, I won't reply here. | |
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