| | Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?Page 13 of 21 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21) | However, what about the other people like myself, who don't like being approached by anyone they don't know in public?
I would hope at your age, you've figured out how to deal with it. When you're in a public place, your right to privacy doesn't exist. Anyone can approach you if they wish. It's up to you to let them know that they are intruding Some people will be polite, others not so much. But I generally try not to hold someone accountable for another person's behavior.
Just last week, a woman working out on the machine next to me commented on how muscular my legs are. I just smiled and said, "Thanks." Should I have been pissed? | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/4/2012 1:53:21 PM | Just last week, a woman working out on the machine next to me commented on how muscular my legs are. I just smiled and said, "Thanks." Should I have been pissed?
I realize this incident occurred in a gym setting where people are striving to improve their physique. As you have learned from this thread, anyone commenting on or appreciating the appearance of another person's body at the gym is a potential sexual predator (or at the very least, using the person as an object for the predator's sexual pleasure ref. MSG 157). The correct response is to immediately start screaming for help and attempt to elbow the transgressor in the throat if he/ she is within range while trying to recall as many details as possible to use when filling in the police report.
HTH! 
Edit: in MSGs 42 & 64, it is recommended that such comments be met with "a knee punch (or kick) in the groin." | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/4/2012 2:02:25 PM |
I realize this incident occurred in a gym setting where people are striving to improve their physique. As you have learned from this thread, anyone commenting on or appreciating the appearance of another person's body at the gym is a potential sexual predator. The correct response is to immediately start screaming for help and attempt to elbow the transgressor in the throat if he/ she is within range while trying to recall as many details as possible to use when filling in the police report
Thank you, now I cannot stop laughing at this post...And yes Padaric you should be very upset, she could be a sexual predator... | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/4/2012 2:13:17 PM |
With the absolutely Best players, the Women never realize that they have been played. The Players that get "caught" typically are not anywhere near the Top Tier. Just like the best Conmen don't "convince" you to do something, they make you Believe that it was YOUR idea. They give the illusion of control to the Woman. The difference is instead of waking up with an empty bank account, you have instead invested time and physical intimacy with the Player and walked away believing that it was Your idea to end the relationship the whole time.
who cares about players illusions, if they illusioned me into gaving a good time I'm all up for it. Keen as mustard. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/4/2012 2:49:55 PM | I wish men understood what it felt like to be objectified.
Do you mean as in being valued for their income, ability to provide, car they drive, or maybe the expectation they will pay for dates? 
In case you haven't noticed, men are often viewed/ objectified as "wallets" whose purpose in life is to fulfill a woman's material needs and deepest leather accessory desires. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/4/2012 2:53:59 PM | I wish men understood what it felt like to be objectified. You should try it, go see "Magic Mike" alone at theater that serves alcohol in the evening
I do believe I have had that experience IRL a few times with women I am not attracted to making advances or having me catch them staring at me with that hungry look - on one occasion it could have been because I was standing in front of the stand that serves up smokies - I'm really not quite sure.
I did walk into a `cougar`` bar once about 15 yrs ago and it felt like I was in a dog eat dog world wearing milk bone underwear. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/4/2012 3:21:08 PM | I wish men understood what it felt like to be objectified
When I was younger and still quite the catch women I didn't know would grab my butt, had I done that to them I would have been slapped and now days a lawsuit. So we men do know what it's like.
But he didn't touch you, just made you feel uncomfortable and thats not cool. On the other hand some women may not find it as offensive as you did, but it happened and it's over with. Anything that doesn't kill you should make you stronger. Meaning learn from it and move on. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/4/2012 6:30:29 PM |
In case you haven't noticed, men are often viewed/ objectified as "wallets" whose purpose in life is to fulfill a woman's material needs and deepest leather accessory desires
Thank goodness a woman said this....
Kayla 58 is officially my new superhero!!!! | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/4/2012 10:02:47 PM |
I wish men understood what it felt like to be objectified.
You mean used as a object? I sure do, and other men as well, it may not be the same objectification as women but men are still used objectively...Which doesn't make either one better nor worse.
I think this post was made in haste more than fact. Now if you specified the objectification then, like sexual objectification, you could say that...but in the general sense of the word...men know just as much as women what its like to be used as a object. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/4/2012 11:45:22 PM | | There is a big difference between asking someone politely for a date/number and rude sexual comments, if you are not interested then just say so, how much effort does that take, but keep in mind that it takes alot of courage for an average person to risk rejection and approach you in the first place, maybe appreciate the compliment or go to a ladies only gym and avoid the situation entirely. It doesn't bother me at all to be approached in a respectful manner, now if the guy is obnoxious and making sexual advances then he would be told off and reported, problem solved. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/4/2012 11:50:01 PM | | Don't need a gym to do exercises, well I don't :) if it comes to the point of sexual harassment or harassment in general then yes that is serious and uncalled for if someone is bothering you wouldn't there be people at the gym you could go to? Main point is most want to get laid! | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/5/2012 9:34:59 AM |
I don't believe that we live in an on demand world where others have the right to expect us to give them our attention.
You're right, we don't live in such a society. But, we also don't live in a society full of telepaths and clairvoyants who can tell ahead of time whether or not their advances will be welcome. Adults deal with the world as it actuallyn is, without emotional breakdowns when things don't go their way.
The amount of demand for things we aren't interested in in this world is overwhelming some days.
And, your point is what? That we don't have the option of saying "no thank you" anymore?
Sure we can say "not interested in your attention". But then the person trying to get our attention will vent in silence or out loud.
Again, what is your point? | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/5/2012 10:16:08 AM | Some men like to think of every location as a group gathering, such as:
~ Using public transport
~ Going gym
~ Job Interviews and more
Personally i don't bother anyone at gym, because i want to get my routine done and leave. But if someone is doing something in the wrong form/technique I'll approach them for their benefit.
I feel awkward if i were to approach the opposite sex at gym, thinking it will go anywhere. At a bar, club or even cafe i wouldn't mind approaching to start conversation.
When it comes to bothering 'ladies' i first think to myself, "would i go here looking for (or not mind) 'xyz'".
In the end i guess its being able to control instinct or not. If your single for too long the instinct to find a mate, may be strong with that one. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/5/2012 10:22:23 AM | "we also don't live in a society full of telepaths and clairvoyants who can tell ahead of time whether or not their advances will be welcome."
Again and again in this thread people have stated that they know that most of the time they will be turned down, but if one in a hundred don't reject them, it is worth it.
Imo it sounds like 99 people were put in a position where they had to reject someone. Multiple those 99 people by the number of people who think that they should just keep trying, and don't learn from being rejected.
If the other person is showing body language that says I am not interested in talking to strangers, why are they approached over and over? Why do they keep pushing like the person who rejected them is going to change their mind.
I remember a friend say that it is so boring being put in a position where she has to be a biatch.
Nice person comes over, and accepts "no thanks" isn't a problem. However, we aren't discussing people being nice when they are bothering others. There have been multiple posts in thread about how people figure they have nothing to lose by being obnoxious because they are expecting rejection anyway. Who knows, maybe that makes them feel better about how many rejections they have had.
Most of us have rejected emails on pof with a no thank you, only to receive nasty comments back because we have said no thanks. It has taught me to say no thanks, and block delete, and has got to the point where I just block delete if I am not interested.
"And, your point is what? That we don't have the option of saying "no thank you" anymore?"
My point is that if we don't dress like we want attention, or make eye contact, or go anywhere near a stranger, but the stranger ignores that and gets in our face, and doesn't quit after we say no thanks.
It isn't fun spending time avoiding stranger. It is boring.
"Adults deal with the world as it actuallyn is, without emotional breakdowns when things don't go their way."
I don't see the person doing the rejecting having an emotional breakdown. I do see a lot of rejected people getting very emotional about being rejected. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/5/2012 10:27:43 AM | Not only do women get hit on but some men also think they have a right to be blatantly rude to a woman if she is overweight and trying to lose the pounds while they look on... like bullies in high school.
Women's only gyms originated for this reason, I guess. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/5/2012 10:28:08 AM | I can understand your concern. It's too bad the world has to be so full of weird people men and women. When I went to the gym I usually leave the women alone. You see a hottie and I figure their really stuck up and stooty. So its why bother? Also give them space and leave them alone. Seems like everybody wants to be left alone now days and don't talk to them nor spark up a conversation.
Back to your deal is there another gym you can go to? It's too bad there has to be people like this because it gives men a bad rap. | |
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| Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/5/2012 10:31:28 AM | Personally i don't bother anyone at gym, because i want to get my routine done and leave. But if someone is doing something in the wrong form/technique I'll approach them for their benefit
If you are giving unsolicited advice at the gym then you are potentially bothering people. You may feel that it is for thier benifit but the other person may be content doing it thier way. Unsolicited advice however helpful you may feel it is will be seen as unwelcome or bothersome by many people at the gym.
Personally I have been going to the gym for over 35 yrs. I do things differently than alot of people do to work around injuries, a different focus for results etc. I have recieved unsolicited advice from numberous people over the years most of whom have no clue what my goals and objectives are at the gym. If I think it's good advice I will listen otherwise I will just give them a WTF look or politely ask them if they have nothing better to do.
Anyone who gets angry because someone is trying to help them improve their routine and/or avoid injury is an idiot.
Or perhaps they feel they know more about managing thier injuries and health than the person does who is giving the advice and they really don't want to be interrupted in thier routine.
I know suggesting someone not give unsolicited advice is odd coming for someone who regularily gives unsolicited advice on the forums but I have been there and done that enthusiastically in the gym many years ago ( I think I stopped doing it in my late 20's) when I accepted that it was often not well recieved. Interesting how both comments suggesting that unsolicited advice in the gym was good was coming from 20 somethings. | |
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