| | Better off single or with a partner???Page 2 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) |
Mr Lightning, you haven't met the girl that is going to make you turn your world upside down yet,
but you will...(Msg 6)
Until then, you’re just fine as you are, far from desperate, yet open to the possibilities. | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/27/2012 9:23:29 AM | | I have really been wondering that for a while now. Im not sure if its because i just haven't found the right person, have gotten used to being single for a lot if years, my last relationships haven't worked out or I've met guys I've really liked who are married and I don't want that. I have a good friend of over a year who wants to take our friendship farther but he really has so little free time due to some things that really can't change right now and I worry he just wont have enough time for me. Im not needy or have to see him.every day, but I'd want to see him enough to build the closeness etc we don't have now as friends. I think its a hard decision except for women who meed to be in a relationship all the time,even with guys who aren't right for them. | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/27/2012 1:55:15 PM |
if you are living with your parents then in some ways you are not actually single in the real sense of the word.... if you are living with other human beings, have someone to talk to, cook for you, worry about you if you are late..... some of the aspects of being in a relationship you are getting from your arrangement with your parents.
as others have said you need to decide what you want out of life and what you want to give... there is no rule that says we have to grow up, get married and have 2.5 children. | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/27/2012 2:26:16 PM | It's too simplistic a question to actually answer. What I can say is this, if your mindset is that you have been alone, so you don't know what you may be missing and it doesn't seem to matter, then stay single (AND change your profile!!).
After all it's your life, if you are happy with it as it is, then why change? The way I make decisions is in weighing out risk vs reward. Listing pluses, minuses....whatever, but the thing is that you only have experience on one side of the equation, so considering the pro to the con would be projecting or just plain guessing.
Play it safe with the status quo or take a risk, but please don't make some poor female your lab rat. Be fair. You should ONLY take the risk if the willingness to take it is genuine and sincere, not merely a curiosity. Noone wants to be someone else's "experiment". | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/27/2012 7:04:32 PM | However, many artistic people do have problems with relationships for various reasons.
Hmmm?
What is it with us "artistic"
Is there really a statistic to support the idea that artists have problems with relationships?
Is it the work that requires travel?
The emotional balance of the artist?
The poverty level lifestyle?
More fartsy than artsy? | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/27/2012 9:13:33 PM | | Good question. In my experience, sdly enough, a "partner" can feel like a millstone. In that case, better-off without. I am still hopeful though that somewhere out ther is an individual who has as much going for him as I do. | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/27/2012 9:58:05 PM | I'd love to have a partner if I could find one that would love me for the right reasons.
But being single isn't as a bad as it may sometimes feel when you're by yourself at a given point in time.
A partner can provide companionship, motivation, contact comfort, and a reason to believe in oneself.
Being single allows you to live your life on your terms. | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/27/2012 10:07:00 PM | | Sometimes being in a bad relationship is a good thing, in the sense that once it ends you appreciate being single much more. | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/27/2012 11:59:20 PM | My parents love me being around they are getting on in life cannot do the physical things they would have once done with not a worry in the world e.g Maintaince -House work , TheseThings that must be done quite often.
I certainly pay my way and fair share e.g Electricity bills,Food which i have no problems with doing its a blessing if anything
They used to ask me what was happening in my love life i just used to reply "very little" I think now they have giving up asking the same question.Both of my parents have always said"As long as i am happy they don't mind were i am living"
Plus most of my friends who have moved out with there girl friends have always come back after a couple of months when things didn't work out.
Just like a revolving door. | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/28/2012 11:50:45 PM | Hey there yes i hear what you are saying and you also have a lot of guts and positive thinking going on there.
I did have to 2 dogs both died of old age not at the same time.
Had a German Shepherd for yrs she was acually very timind and sweet ,then got a Boxer she to was great very personal.You are right Animals can give unconditonal love, always happy to see you no matter what type of mood you may be in they always have time for you. | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/29/2012 2:26:52 AM |
No one needs someone by their side and if they do, it's because they are lacking in some way.
I disagree here. I believe that mankind is a social animal. We were meant to interact with one another, especially with members of the opposite sex. Sure we may be able to survive on our own, but I believe it's when we have someone by our side that we really thrive!
There is a big difference between needing someone, especially when that isn't a specific someone but a general term, and being open to including/wanting someone.
This is a good point. Jumping into a relationship just for the sake of having a relationship sounds like a heartache waiting to happen. Just being out there and actively dating for a while before deciding to settle into a more serious relationship seems like a better idea. | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/29/2012 2:44:23 AM |
Married men live longer.....if that helps with your decision making process.
Lol, cosmopolitan psycho babble, sometimes living "longer" isn't a good thing/overrated in a sense.
I disagree here. I believe that mankind is a social animal. We were meant to interact with one another, especially with members of the opposite sex. Sure we may be able to survive on our own, but I believe it's when we have someone by our side that we really thrive!
I don't know like every other species on this planet you have your outsiders on the fringes. I don't know...... I kinda respect the loner thriving on his own, kinda like a western. | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/29/2012 2:51:43 AM |
But, it's MUCH easier to be happy alone than to be happy because of somebody else.
Why, because all that stuff that's outside your direct control doesn't exist when you're single.
You are halfway to bliss without even trying.
True, there's a lot that's out of your control, but I still believe there's much more happiness to be had with or because of somebody else. When you wake up next to someone you love, I guarantee your day is gonna start off MUCH brighter than if you wake up alone. Then, even if you are having a crappy day at work, thoughts of seeing your honey when you get home will help get you through the rest of the day.
It's really amazing how strong a motivating force, how much of a source of inspiration a woman can be! | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/29/2012 3:19:01 AM | | Its nice when you can roll over in bed and throw a leg and arm over your partner and its also nice to be able to roll over in bed and fart at free will without choking someone out...Both life styles are great.... | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/29/2012 3:43:00 AM |
Lol, cosmopolitan psycho babble, sometimes living "longer" isn't a good thing/overrated in a sense
I don't read cosmo or any other magazine. My information comes from books that I have to read and keep educated about. It is not babble at all.
You should have a talk with my 97 year old grandfather....he was quite happy with his years of life here. Spent with a good woman, my gandmother and a good life over all. He saw a lot, that is for sure. The only thing that made him mad was he didn't get to experience the computer world. He said his brain was too mushy to learn that stuff now but it "Sho is innerstin" he couldn't get over being able to talk to people in other countries...that just amazed him. | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/29/2012 5:26:58 AM |
I'm 12 years older than you and I've never married. I'd have missed out on a lot if I had gotten married. OP, truisms aside, you obviously miss out on some things either way. As far as whether or not you're missing out on "much, it's about personal preference. It seems that you WANT to meet someone but just haven't met the right person yet - at least that seems to be the tone of your original post. Don't talk yourself out of what you want just because you haven't found it yet. You won't ever find it if you don't remain open to the possibility.
Good luck! | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/29/2012 5:37:58 AM | You should have a talk with my 97 year old grandfather....he was quite happy with his years of life here
It probably has much less to do with the fact that he's married, as much as the fact he takes care of himself, doesn't leave a stressfull live, and TONS of other things that can be medically and scientifically proven, rather than just saying "It's cos he was married" lol.
Probably if he was happilly married, he didn't have much reason to stress out. As such, his heart doesnt pump as much because he isnt stressed. As such...he lives longer.
Something like that.
I got a great aunt who's 104...still kicking good, driving her own car, etc. Single for the last 60 years LOL. | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/29/2012 6:13:03 AM | If you long for a partner, be prepared to compromise and work hard and well for it. If you're inclined to wait for the perfect one to magically appear of out nowhere, expect to be lonely.
You may be inclined in this life time to give more to yourself. There are life-long bachelors/bachelorettes who may find commitment a daunting contemplation. It doesn't mean that they have a pathology in which they can't relate to anybody - perhaps their purposes is to love more broadly. | |
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stalk
| | Joined: 11/3/2010
Msg: 47 | |
| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/29/2012 6:23:02 AM | | ive been on my own all my life too an you do get used to it although i would love some company now 39 yrs on my own just abit to much now ;-) | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:55:02 AM |
I got a great aunt who's 104...still kicking good, driving her own car, etc. Single for the last 60 years LOL.
I find it oddly strange that this is the norm. Single women live longer....married men live longer. Married women die sooner ...single men die sooner.
so basically I will live longer if I never marry (or in our days live together) and have my life (and the remote) controlled by a man, but if a man is controlled by a woman he will live longer????
I know that isn't what it means but ...one can make a case for it if they wanted too :) | |
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| Better off single or with a partner???
Posted: 6/29/2012 3:19:06 PM | I have heard that statistic a lot. Another finding: married men have less issues with depression.. seems to me for all their complaining, something must be working right.
Kinda risky for a women to marry, though...lol. Personally, I think we need each other. | |
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